Nevi's Contest Round 1 (Entries)

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The results are in!!!!
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Hi everyone! Due to the complications with the site, I'm still waiting on one of my judges to get their results to me. SO, while we wait, here are the entries, for your reading pleasure.

"Love Blossoms"

It was a story of love told entirely in symbol
carried by their faithful friends, one to the other;
William approached Mary with a single Torenia,
the wishbone flower, to pique her interest;
To which she protested her modesty
by violet Browallia, the flower Amethyst.

Hoping to assure her of his pure esteem he sent
five Pentas lanceolata stalks, on cardboard table round;
laughing she slapped his silliness: Celosia cristae,
wrapped in a comic of a buffoon knight;
undaunted, young Will showed good humor with
Coreopsis lanceolata, in a golden goblet.

Impressed, she admired his taste with Dahlia, dark pink,
but growing weary, he sent a basket full of Impatiens,
driving her to reprove him: Artemisia for her dignity;
chastened and on his knees he delivered bouquet of Iris cristata:
"I am valorous, but your love means everything."

Still arms length she plucked him a sole Chrysanthemum,
Pyrethrum roseum: "you are a wonderful friend."
"More" he pled, handing her branches of Hollyhock;
swooning, she laid in his hand a cluster of Dianthus:
"Sweet William, your gallantry wins me over."

"Aye, my primrose maid, this yellow bloom
says I cannot live without you; my dear,
give me a spray of Dicentra from your bleeding heart."
They exchanged Heliotrope, royal bloom of eternal love.

Having preserved more energy than one would expect,
he rewarded her with Tagetes erecta, his sacred affection,
after which they both enjoyed the narcotic dreaminess
of love sated, Papaver somniferum, and slept as drugged.
Love Blossoms

Judge 1- I don't know why I couldn't feel this poetic, at all. It was too long left me reading random symbols of flowers, I felt as if I'm reading a flowers book or something, not really a 'poem'. It was meant to be a story, an epic one. But for some weird reason, I couldn't feel it like this. Other than that 'symbol' should be 'symbols' I think in the first line. Adding the definitions of the flowers was a bit awkward to me, 'Torenia' - 'the wishbone flower' and so. However, I liked the last bit of the first stanza, less complicated and a bit more poetic, for my part. In the second stanza, I began to enjoy what I'm reading, the 'five Pentas lanceolata' made a bit of sense. Yet couldn't be much interested, the punctuation seemed off, there were lines that included the symbols of flowers without actually telling a story, I don't know, I'm so confused with this piece. I loved this line: "I am valorous, but your love means everything." It was pretty smart."
4/10

Judge 2: Love Blossoms
`SCORE: 6/10 (no comments)

Judge 3: 6/10

Love Blossoms

In the attempt to be clever and do several flowers, I feel this writer wrote more of a short story than a poem. It didn't have a poetic flow to me, but more so read as though it was an excerpt from a book. It wasn't bad, just not something I would expect in a poetry contest.

Total: 16/30

"Thistle"

Clever cirsium, too clever
by far, arms herself in
spikes and shields, in
silver lances and the most
subtle green swords.

A soft plume of purple,
forever protected, lilts
endlessly in breezes that brush
so close - the only touch
she knows.

Little thistle, wild and wary:
too sharp to ever be plucked,
too cutting to be crushed
by a wavering heel,
too careful, far too careful
to be loved
by anything at all.

Judge 1: That was genius! Holy god! it was a pretty clever and brave pick! I know it was speaking of Thistle, I interpreted otherwise, as if it describes the personality of someone, skeptical and fearful, maybe, it they hold some softness within (the 'soft plume of purple' part). Actually I felt really sad at the end, like really sad. I began to suspect who wrote this piece, haha, the same style, well-done!
Thistle 8/10

Judge 2: Cirsium [Thistle]
`SCORE: 8/10

Judge 3: This poem exceeded my expectations. Going into judging these poems I told myself no one is going to throw in that scientific name so perfectly, and here, with Thistle, the writer did. This was beautiful, it told a strong tale and just had me reading it over and over again. By far my favorite poem I've seen so far. Beautifully done.
10/10

Total: 26/30

"Foxglove"

I try to imagine a vixen, in a field of snow,
with four purple mitts like membranes to her feet.
Perhaps this image is a public one, rented out
to people with imagination from an original genius,
who saw pious, thumb-sized flowers and thought
they could grace a vixen's snowy paws.

You. You see digitalis purpurea and hop with delight
and rush to show me. But
they will always be foxgloves to me.
They will always be donned by a vixen
in a white meadow, leaving
a self-covering trail of her presence

Judge 1:
This is totally smart! imaginative, superb. Speaks of deep thoughts that I've never seen in any other piece. Clever wording, so clever. I really am speechless, and have nothing to say. Wonderfully created, loved the images such as "pious, thumb-sized flowers" and "digitalis purpurea". The title itself is perfect. The idea is completely different and in my opinion, a winner! Very, very beatuiful.
9/10

Judge 2: Digitalis Purpurea [Common Foxglove]
`SCORE: 9/10

Judge 3: This poet wrote a painting with their words. No other way to describe it. I've never felt so "in" a poem before. That ending was perfect in my opinion. Loved this one.
9/10

Total: 27/30

'lilium columbianum'

Tangerine lips curl
as freckles are printed
'cross her cheeks like a tiger -
for she dresses herself
in the fashionable style of
'lilium columbianum'
with the heart of a lily
who dares you to love her forever,
like the tattoos upon her skin.

Judge 1: I can tell, this is an M&M poet! haha. They have that mysterious style and I enjoy it so much! something so special, other than the 's and the abbreviations in prepositions. I don't know why the titles first letters haven't been capitalized, I can't seem to know if there is a purpose behind it, loved some images like 'Tangerine lips' yet I am not able to imagine how they'd curl, haha, and the tiger freckles part got me interested! The ending was a killer, the last two lines almost killed me! A very beautiful piece.
8/10

Judge 2: Lilium Columbianum [Lily]
`SCORE: 7/10

Judge 3:This poem was confusing but had good poetic tendencies. I feel like the writer threw in a bunch of words that sounded well together but didn't actually make total sense, such as freckles being printed on cheeks like a tiger.....this poem had a good tie in to the scientific name.
8/10

Total: 23/30

"Dlorosa"

Red roses bear the beauty
their stems have sharp thorns
Some angels wear white wings
the fallen ones grow horns

Beauty is among the things
possessed by many flowers
Nature has its bounty
While heaven has great powers

The Kordesii of the Rosa
in the garden of Gethsemani
and the path of the Dolorosa
inspired me to pray the Rosary

Many Roses are red, or so it is said.
Among the heavenly blue morning Glories
He rose from the dead and has faithfully led
all who believe in sacred bible stories.

Judge 1: I was kind of confused by the way this writer punctuated their piece, however, that's not my point, I found some images to be beautiful, descriptive and soft, but I have nothing to say other than this, I wish this poet could bring up some originality into their poem, I'll give examples:
"Nature has its bounty
While heaven has great powers"
^
I don't even know why the 'W' in 'while' was capitalized, there was no full stop or something and to begin a new line doesn't necessarily mean to capitalize the first letter. Other than this, I beheld many 'the's, they were in my opinion just fillers in some places. Would love to see this poet/poetess editing this piece, as it has some potentials.

My vote: 4/10

Judge 2: Rosa [Rose]
`SCORE: 6/10

Judge 3: 4/10

The last stanza felt very out of place structurally for me. The whole poem to quite honest was kind of boring.

Total: 14/30

"Cypripedium Reginae"

Why so capricious,
ma cherie?

I have wandered
the two hemispheres
to find you

and have you rooted
in my arid pillow,

but I couldn't.

so haughty
for a first world-er,
like me?

I crave your mystique,
my Fairy Queen
though I'm no more
than a Minnesota
punk in your pink kingdom.

My lady,
you have slipped
between my coverlets
and dreams...

And lately,
all I could taste
is your pouch-like lip
drizzling their
Cypripedium Reginae
honey-syrup

upon me

Judge 1: The opening sounded really interesting, love it when a poet begins their piece with questions, captivating. Loved the insertion of 'ma cherie' gave it rhythm. It speaks of one-sided love, I believe, or so I understood. Liked the 'two hemispheres' instead of 'Earth or whatever. The 's' must has been capitalized, I guess, in 'so. Grammatical errors always draw me away, anyways, I ADORED that question and for this I'd vote this piece a high number, really clever. Loved the play on words in some places, 'your pink kingdom' made lots of sense to me, and made more sense after reading the next thought, beautiful. The ending was poetic, by all means, I loved, loved, loved this piece.

My vote: 9/10

Judge 2:Cypripedium Reginae [Fairy Queen]
`SCORE: 8/10

Judge 3: 8/10

This is a weird poem. Part of me loves it, part of me felt like skipping over pieces because it was just.. odd. Maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind to really sink into the poem. I cracked up at the way the writer put in their scientific name, I probably can't pronounce it but liked they way they threw it in there. Poem overall was creative and one I'd read again, perhaps talk to the writer about intent

Total:25/30

"Lili"

Lili is a tiger,
Lili is a lion.
With delicate petals that
crumble with the
faintest
touch.

But
her heart is as
ravenous and wild
as screaming rapids;
challenging...
no, daring men to
survive her wit and finesse.

With the power to
steal words away,
speaking to her is simply
a daunting task.
Usually even the most
courageous can only
ever say

"Lili...um...I think
that you're superb...um..."

Judge 1: -The best of all entries, I read it four times and can't just get enough. Profound and simple, that's what I loved the most about it, I wouldn't be saying much due to its length and for I am totally speechless, now. All I want to say is *claps* made me chuckle!

10/10

Judge 2:Lilium Superbum [Lily]
`SCORE: 9/10

Judge 3: 9/10

This poem is one of my favorites so far; I was reading through, immersed in the words, searching for the scientific word to make sure it fit the criteria, and started cracking up. I would say this definitely meets the criteria and it was done so in a clever and charming way!
Total: 28/30

I'm liking this!

I'm not liking this last judge. Do they just not log in? What the heck is taking so long??? Not like there are 20 entries.

Lmao, Britt, cool off.

Hopefully they're not stuck in the nether like Mel was...

Also, the Lili one cracked me up. Very clever.

Well, cmoooon. The deadline was Monday. It's Saturday. A few days with a screwy server sure, but it shouldn't take this long for seven poems.

Results are in!!!

Even though the full species name was not incorporated, the thistle piece was my fave. The one with the super bum came a close second.

Only 7 entries? mmm.. how many people are eliminated in this round?

And.. amazing pieces, everyone :)

I'm thinking only two will be eliminated, due to the odd number I've got here. It'll work out much better later on

I can't find a superbum... where is it hiding?

Last poem Sib.

Um which two got eliminated Nevi? It's hard to read the scores :/

Ohhhhhh! I didn't even get that. I appreciate the cleverness even more now. Ha!

Dlorosa (14)
Love Blossoms (16)

^ Eliminated

lilium columbianum (23)
Cypripedium Reginae (25)
Thistle (26)
Foxglove (27)
Lili (28)

^ Check out that Top 4. Consecutive points ;)

Thanks. I'm reading on my phone and its just not easy to see it all in a broad picture.

Haha yes! It's annoying while on the phone :S