Weekly Winners - 11/21/11

We had some pretty great poems to choose from this week! I know a couple of the judges mentioned that they had a really hard time only picking three this time around. Even the poem on here with the "lowest" score, if you think about it, is one that at least one judge thought to be the second best poem out of 25 plus. That's pretty awesome!

One of our substitutes volunteered to judge at the last minute, so doesn't have comments yet. They will be edited in later today.

A hearty congrats to our 3 WINNERS!

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Silvershoes proves that she knows all about bodily-function metaphors with her anguished poem,

"Slippery Slope"

"I really enjoyed this piece, it had the right mix of humour and seriousness. The poets voice is very clear and direct, and gives the impression of brutal honesty. There is a feeling that the poet is speaking objectively, almost matter-of-fact. In a way this makes the poem more believable when the phrases are presented as facts. The poem also has a perhaps suprising depth also; making the reader think about the ineffectivness of a poet and their work. After all, what is poetry only letters and words on a piece of paper? The poet is challenging her own capabilities but it goes beyond that to be relevant to all poets. Perhaps also is it a criticism of 'unemotional' poetry, of overly scripted or technical verses that lacks the ability to influence a reader in some way. Overall I got into this one. I liked the puntuation, it adds to the effect of the poets voice. Though not an entirely original idea for a poem (then again what is an original idea anymore?), it was done well and in a fresh crisp style, and this made it stand out a little from most other nominations this week. Well done." (10)

"What a clever write. Jane always writes creative pieces, but this one really goes beyond her norm. This has a sense of urgency, frustration and matter of fact-ness to it that I love. It's originality is impressive, and I love the imagery (chunks and strings really worked well together). Bravo!" (10)

"Uhhh! This also deserves a 10. I think I'm feeling so sad that there are a variety of epic poems this week, and some wouldn't get their chance to out-shine!!! Anyway, I really love this piece from Jane. It felt so right and the style and tone were in sync with the subject. And yes, the title with its little alliteration is harmonious with the content which is quite provoking. In its pace and simplicity (yet, using powerful words to emphasize the tone) it says: I can give you, tell you, gorge you with meaningless words and flamboyant poetic verses, but eventually.... you won't be moved. You won't react to my theoretical speeches. None of my senseless words would do you any good.... I think it relates political subjects or even any life situation... Interesting indeed. One need to 'do' not just lay words before ears. The poem quite expresses itself. I LOVE it so damn much." (4)

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Colm pens an exquisite anti-smoking, anti-rain propoganda with his moody, atmospheric

"Twenty-One"

"Clearly a dreary sort of day in the rainy British Isles. This piece was great in its relentless atmosphere. The reader "sees" that everything was dark, grey, wet, and smoggy, but Colm brings up these images in a subtle way. A reader notices only the lyricism of the language, without feeling beat over the head with images. If you haven't read this poem aloud, give it a go. It makes it even more clear that the writer has a knack for poeticism. The poem captures the sort of ennui that writers and artists seem particularly able to feel keenly." (10)

"I love the fact that Colm used the word sound three times in the first two lines. It isn't done well, repetition, but Colm just has an elegance about his writing that he can get away with breaking 'rules'. I took a personal love to this poem over what I understood from it, applying it to my own life. While I feel the poem is really specific, I think one can also take the poem and truly make it their own, my favorite thing about poetry. Well done, Colm!" (7)

"This, too, deserves a 10, but as I said, those are the judging regulations. Colm in this piece has pulled my strings into a very wet and foggy place described brilliantly. I think each small detail we face in such cities can be irritatingly inspirational. I like how he took advantage of every nook and cranny of the city to write this vivid piece of density and thickness. Strolling down the pavements after waking up, and then coming back home sounded so melodious because of the groove in the style.. some sort of romantic French style, ha. And the very last line '21 cigarettes' I think it adds much to the piece. GREAT job indeed. I want to talk more about it, but I think words would ruin it. All what I'll say is... perfect." (7)

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Hard-hitting reporter Mera Luna brought us this expose of seedy-underbellies everywhere. Her sharp eye combined with her sensitive heart went on to help her win the coveted PnQulitzer Prize.

"Another night of trafficking in red lights," by Mera Luna

"I could imagine this being read at a poetry reading by a strong female lead with a voice so full of emotion, it cracks. I wanted to shy away from the bluntness, the breasts, the butts, but I couldn't. I forced myself to the end, and was enthralled by the sheer raw 'truthiness' that I'd swallowed. I heard somewhere recently that a poem doesn't start until you start telling the truth. This is what I found here. A poem about the dirty, rugged, naked truth. Most of us are nobodies, just stumbling through our lives, trying not to make too big of a mess. I feel it.
Well done, and keep it up."
(10)

"This was a detailled poem which really got into the mind of the character, giving an insight into her life and arousing sympathy in the readers. When you think about it, it shows the underbelly of human life, the flip side if you will; the exploitative side of human nature that is quite sad in this day and age. The ending here was poignant and affecting. It is sudden and sharp, and details a the hopelessness and almost tragedy of her situation. There is a sense that there is no hope for change, that she will be stuck like this. A critique of society done through the emotive use of a character affected by it is effective. the whole poem made me want to keep reading. I like how the narrator keeps a certain degree of objective distance in the poem, I think it makes the message more powerful than if it had been written in first person. Some clever word plays also, e.g. 'some-body.' Some of the images of streets etc were a little ordinary, hard to put my finger on it but some of them didnt really come to life as perhaps maybe they could have, but overall it was a good poem, with many things going for it." (7)

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Honourable Mentions:
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"Seaward," by The Poetess

"No. This is not my this week favorite! Actually, I have '5' poems this week that I want to give a 10. I was really confused, and it's the first time I get confused :p Woah! This week was the hardest for me to choose 3 favorite poems. I think the 3 poems I chose deserve a '10' (and also two more pieces), but... those are the judging rules. Anyway... I like this poem because it shows so much rawness yet vividness to make you drown in its 'Depressionary' style atmosphere. I think 10 years from now, when I google 'Noura Hatem', I will find a whole lot of quotes by her name, and one of them this fantabulous verse in this epic masterpiece: ("Between
the mystery of
December and the howls of
January, there is
a season
I call 'Depressionary'") - gosh, how eerily perfect that felt. Lots of imagery draw me into this, like 'grandma sun'... that was so smooth and expressive for such states of bedlam. Everything speaks of the feeling o internal sickness, you know.. that feeling which masticates the soul, yet between the contrast of depression emotions, there are shades of romantically stormy thoughts. The seaward expresses what I mean. It's in her groovy style that I find inspiration, and in her typical growing-weary tome I find lots of... BRILLIANCE." (10)

"Is it me, or is there something beautiful about a poem written by someone whose native tongue is not English? They find interesting ways to express emotions and images that are not all the time grammatically correct, but grammar isn't a necessary ingredient in poetry. It's these combinations of words, fit together to erect the senses, not to please your English professor, that send shivers down my spine. Before I get lost in translation, so to speak, let me talk about the actual content of the poem and what it does for me. Until the last stanza, which tries a bit too hard, I am swept away by the howls of January, and the eyelids being canoed upon - what an amazing way to suggest the author is weeping. This is an excellent piece about losing love, and I give mad props for its originality alone."
(4)

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"Felled," by The Prince

"The author here seems to be particularly adept at capturing these quiet, simple moments. Some images are a bit confusing (why amaretto?) but I trust that they have some meaning to the writer. Other phrases are very accessible and really lovely, like the subtle sweetness of "fragile to my chest." I actually loved the use of "stubbornly arms." It's an unconventional use of the language, but I think it makes the phrase extra evocative." (7)

"A lot is said in this quite intimate scene, and interesting descriptions and language is used throughout. What drew me into this piece the most was perhaps the ambiguity of the characters. I couldnt quite put a definitive age bracket on the character beside the poet; at first some references seemed to indicate she is a toddler or child sleeping next to a parent, e.g. the torquise cotton, 'fragile,' having smaller hands, etc. But 'amaretto kisses' seems to dispell that theory. In the end I settled that the two characters were of a similar age in a relationship, which seems the most obvious conclusion. But there is something innocent or fragile about her: The poet seems stronger than her, and is protecting her. I wondered, from what? Or is he just showing his love for her, showing their togetherness? The ending, where he holds back a sneeze, says so much; that he didnt want to wake her up. Such a simple but indirect reference gives an insight into their relationship, and it is nicely done. Im not sure about the use of 'stubbornly,' as it didnt seem to roll off the tongue as well as the rest of the poem. Overall though, interesting piece generally well put together, the only thing against it being perhaps the fact that it almost made me want to find out more or find more meanings but the content wasnt quite there for me to do so. Still a good write and deserving of the front page this week" (4)

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"The Girl With The Serpentine Hair," by Monster

"Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. King of darkness writes a love poem. I felt like the poem was perhaps about a disgusting, vile monster seen in a new light, the second side of the story.. nothing in the poem really proves that, but he normally writes of such darkness, that I pull it into this poem as well. That and it's late, so I'm probably reading odd things into it ;). It's too bad the site won't let him submit it in the correct format, but even the way it is, it is still a pleasant read." (4)

"I don't know what it is about this writer, but there is some sort of quiet sorcery held in his phrases. At first they seem very simple, but if you read the poem to yourself you'll start to notice some sort of abstract rhythm that gives the thing momentum. I don't always understand it, but there is definitely a unique mind at work here." (4)

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"Stargazer," by Yaki

"Normally I don't, but the I love the use of ... in this poem. It fits. 'We changed its curse.' I read the comments on this poem, but I actually prefer curse to course. There's a deeper meaning here, not a spelling mistake. Fighting their destiny, these two lovers are pulled apart, and their destinies have been changed... they are cursed to be forever apart, to the author's devastating dismay. The following stanza in parentheses is a very nice touch, I love that there are no spaces after the commas, portraying jumbled, exasperated, pleading thoughts.
This chunk right here:
'but where do
I start,when
the stars are a constant
reminder of how unfaithful
we had been..

all those nights we
spent beneath them,
painting dreams and
building promises..

vanished,'
--- took my breath away! Maybe the content is not the most original thing out there, but the way you worded it, and the way you broke up lines... stunning work. Well done. I really love this piece and it is relatable to anyone who has experienced love, especially young love."
(7)

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Normally I'd shy away and be quiet but not today. My god, thank you for such flattering comments!

To the first judge: I enjoy your take, but actually you spun it around. It's about a wonderful, beautiful creature who seems frightening and monstrous at times due to a combination of the narrator's social fear/ineptness and also a feeling of inadequacy next to such a great being.

Congrats to the winners and fellow HMs!

It seems I'm in a good mood! Hahahahaha.

I really didn't expect to have any readers with "felled" so I'm delighted to even have two honourable mentions here. It's actually a personal poem and the two comments were really interesting to read. It's great to be writing again, even if I am not shying from my comfort zone. Congratulations to the winning poems; I have yet to read them!

Thanks judges and readers and Melissa and Jacey for the nominations

Congrats winners & HM's! Thanks Sibby, judges and readers!

Congratzzz errybody

Congratulations everyone. Amazing work this week..

Congrats, winners & HM's!

Thank you, judges and Sibs.

Final judge's comments have been posted.

Congrats winners. Oh wait, that includes me :D Congrats me.

Thanks for the nominations and votes and comments too!

Hahaha one of the judges has been seeing some Jasmine Mans<3

Congratulations for the winners, amazing poems, seriously there is a great talent over here, it's getting better and better with time, i love it!

Congrats for the H'ms well deserved..

thanks for the judges, and for the mods for posting/editing this!

"Hahaha one of the judges has been seeing some Jasmine Mans<3"

Or a substitute judge ;)

Hahahah anywhoooo :p point is they are watching her..and good... I think everyone should watch her..

Congrats to all the winners and hm's as well. I want to thank everyone who nominated and the judges for their hard work.

Again, all the poems were great and our panel of judges had a difficult task to pick only three.

Keep up the great work!

Congrats all!

Late as usual!

Congrats to all winners! Hm's and judges for the fantastic work.

Well done to the other winners and hm's! Thanks Sibs, judges, and all involved :)