Britt's Contest [Round 2 - Tis The Season!]

Oops, just saw this, sorry! Results should be in today. My judge is working on them now, I gave them all an extra day as it was Christmas weekend and I didn't want people to feel pressured (helloo, spend time with family :D ). I'm at work now so it may take some extra time for me to compile etc.

RESULTS ARE IN! Please read carefully. I will order them based on winners this round - but the ones eliminated are from the scores of this round and last round combined - I will list eliminations (5) at the bottom.

Eve's New Moon and the Soul's Dream (33)

11 - The first stanza really sets out the tone of the poem, I like 'season made for lovers.' It captures the other, sadder side to Christmas not experienced by many who have not lost a loved one. The descriptions were quite good (if not totally original) and did give a sort of Christmas feel, but in a subdued way. The whole poem had a sort of intimate, personal feel to it and the reader feels for the poet to a certain degree. In the fourth stanza I noticed a line from the Christmas song Fairytale of New York: 'I've built my dreams around you.' Although it's a great line, I didn't particularly appreciate it as much because it was in a song beforehand. Not sure if the reference is intentional, but for the rest of the poem I had that song in my head. If it was an intentional reference it was a clever one in that regard! The end stanza I didn't like all that much in comparison to the rest of the poem, it's a little too explanatory and it is already clear that poet loves the person, I feel it doesn't have to be explicitly mentioned. Overall though a decent personal effort about a darker side of Christmas many of us are not used to.

11 - Really emotional piece on not being able to spend the holidays with a loved one who may have passed. I liked your incorporation of the New Moon, it's as if you've shined some light on us towards the end of the poem, for they are in heaven and you'll be seeing them again. I'm not sure what happened, but a few parts I stumbled over a bit. 'I
breathed you' was a bit awkward in my opinion, just didn't flow right to me. Another thing, 'Yet I knew that for you to let me go, I must leave you go too' - leave should be 'left' here I believe. Lovely piece though, I'm quite impressed.

11- Another poem that connects the festive season with the heart. The association with death and Christmas is an interesting metaphor, while I'm sure many think about the loss of a loved one around this time of year I don't think it's too often written about; at least I've not seen it. This poem had something magical in the tone, almost an eerie whisper in some instances and I think that's what packed this poem with a punch, its ability to provoke the reader with such emotion. I think the poem itself packed a powerful message and that the last stanza of the poem wasn't needed. Obviously it was used as an outlet for the writer to connect with whom they speak about but the love and longing is evident enough throughout the entire poem that it would have had a stronger effect if the poem ended the stanza before. In the fourth stanza, third line: 'leave you go too' would read better as 'let you go too'.

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All Is Bright (32)

13- This was one of my favourites from this round. It describes a quite intimate, yet simple real-life scene well. It is like a short snippet of a scene form a movie. The opening image of the red ribbon against the snow stands out and sets the scene in an interesting way. The second stanza is the product of an observant eye and it brings a realistic quality to the poem. The descriptions are definite, and the reader has little doubt that they would see the exact image if they walked along the same path as the poet walked. The third stanza introduces a relationship the poet has with a significant other, again in a realistic snapshot image. There is no mention of 'my beautiful love' or any such thing; but this is implied by the simple image. One part I didn't perhaps like as much, even though it does work, was the 'pressing love' part, it seemed a little cliché and unnecessary to me, but it's only relatively minor fault. The title helps anchor the poem in Christmas, not just winter, and helps the poet get away with not having many Christmas references as such in the piece, as the reader knows from the title and snow that this is happening at Christmas. All in all a good read and highly regarded, this one stood out a little for me.

13 - Gorgeous imagery throughout this poem. Really adored the
image/metaphor you gave us at the end also of snowflakes drifting,
it truly brings everything together. So romantic and lovely. Very delicate wording. I'm at loss as to what to say which is why I'm placing this poem at the top.

6 - I was really captured by the imagery you portrayed within this piece. This was another one of those poems with fairytale imagery and funnily enough in the first and second stanza I kept having the image of Little Red Riding Hood walking through the forest, perhaps it was the use of 'red' that sparked such imagery. The poem had that romantic essence to it, it was delicate. The mentioning of cold and the discomfort caused (shivering) was a little reminder of the things we do for the ones we love, in this case trekking through the snow became a metaphor for such. I don't think the comma after shivering is necessary when I read the poem without the pause the flow was smoother. I've not heard of the term warbly, warble yes but never warbly, I understand what you were saying here, describing the sound of the snow and it's an interesting way to depict this.

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On Departure (31)

10 - This was an interesting quote before the poem and gave a big indication as to what the poem was going to be about. The first stanza is worded in a poetic way; the narrators voice seems honest and nostalgic, linking both past and present effectively throughout the poem. One typo (I think) I noticed was that 'hung' should be 'hang' in stanza 2. Also, 'cubby-faced' should I think be 'chubby-faced.' The speaker has strong memory, remembering details about the old life such as the wording of the toast, indicating these past events had a lasting impact on the poet. The last sentence is very interesting, and I think indicates that the people who notice one's 'fall' are those who are closest to them, or family members who have seen them grow since the time they were a baby. I'm not really sure I understood all of this to be honest, and in a way that's a good thing. I don't like poems that leave nothing to be interpreted or thought-out. Another angle I saw it from was from the point of view of somebody growing old and remembering past Christmases, but I can't be sure and I think I will continue to think about potential significant details in this poem. In saying that, I didn't find it an enjoyable read as such; it was more hard work than most of the other poems for reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

8 - It was interesting to see your take on this time of season. The quote you used I thought was really intriguing and made me ponder a bit. The way I interpreted it was how we may depart at times in our lives for several different reasons, yet the holidays brings everyone together again, if it's just for a short time. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be here today. Makes you truly appreciate those you have and the joy they bring. I really found this poem to be extremely powerful in many ways. Only suggestion would be to break this up more, to make it a bit of an easier read.

13 - It was great to see some of this style poetry here and I really enjoyed it. What I thought was clever with this poem was the way it formed a bridge between childhood and adulthood however the line was thin and it made you realize just how much Christmas brings out the child in us. I thought the message was extremely powerful, the fact that you can't return from where you came and even if you could things can't be as they once were. The tone was something I could appreciate in this piece; the reminiscent nature, the new understandings formed as you advance into adulthood... this was all evident in the way you wrote from the character/your perspective. I was fond of the reference to the snowman and his lack of limbs as it was a creative way to present to the audience the idea of new understandings and growth. In the second stanza, second line: "turn to hung" I believe should be 'turn to hang' and I found that the second last stanza was a little harder to read, especially the second line. Perhaps if you added a pause after 'desires' it'd allow you to continue with the smooth flow you've had throughout.

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December Comes With You (30)

8 - This is another poem where I did not particularly like the ending of, in that I think it is un-necessary. Especially the 'I might, I'm not sure yet.' It doesn't really fit in with the tone of the rest of the poem and is not particularly poetic. I would advise dropping this part and possibly re-thinking the ending before posting it on the site as an improvement you could make. Despite this, there were strengths to this poem. The first stanza drew me in quite well, with unusual but interesting wording. I like how you use the reference of seeing Christmas lights in windows as a catalyst to make you remember a past Christmas. On a sidenote, I'm usually not a fan of the word 'soul' in poetry, and I don't think it really worked here because I couldn't imagine something as abstract as a soul shining. But the reader gets the message. The second half of the poem describes the relationship well and how the poet feels towards the other character. Like many of the poems in this round, the focus is not on Christmas but on something personal with some aspect of Christmas being used as a kind of way of introducing the main theme of the poem. The poem made quite a good first impression and was a good effort.

10 - The content of your poem here was quite good and sentimental. Obviously this time of year for you makes you think of someone special, as do most of us. Perhaps you're literally talking about a person in your life or Christmas in its entirety. Either way, a beautifully executed piece. 'Shadow of a lonely fallen leaf' was quite heartbreaking yet a wonderful metaphor. One of my favorite parts of your poem for sure. Or the bit about December sinking on your skin like the sun, which is so relevant to the month and wanting it to end, since the days are so short. I really wouldn't change a thing, although, I wasn't fond of your style. It seems familiar to me and I know I've enjoyed it many times before, but I think some of the longer lines could either be broken up into more lines, or shortened. Other than that, you did a really great job with this challenge. Seems really natural and not forced.

12 - What I enjoyed about this poem was how it became personal, the writer took the topic and managed to incorporate a more emotional and inner reflection on the topic of Christmas. I liked how this poem wasn't about the day itself but the build up to it, the anticipation (again on an emotional level). The structure of this poem intrigued me, when I first took a look at it I wasn't sure the longer lines would work amongst the shorter ones as flow is generally altered because of this however I actually didn't notice a problem when reading. I don't think some of the punctuation was needed in areas, take for example the second line of the first stanza, removing the comma after 'year' would of made it flow a little smoother. This for me was the most emotional out of the bunch, some beautiful imagery with a nice connection between the season and the heart.

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Potpourri (25)

9 - The wording of this piece is good I felt: it's interesting and gives a great description of the character in a short time. I think the title is referring to the mix in her personality, the ambiguity of her character. The first line is informative and I like the term 'delectable.' 'Frolic' is also an effective word to use, it implies carefree, possibly short-term. On the downside, it focuses perhaps a little too much on her character. I mean, the reference to naughty or nice is a little irrelevant as the first stanza basically portrays the same image (portrays it well.) But I reckon the naughty/nice reference was used to make it tie into Christmas, which brings me to another possible criticism: the poem wasn't necessarily anything to do with Christmas, unless I'm missing something. It was supposed to be a Christmas poem and although many of the poems aren't exclusively 'Christmas' poems, I think this one perhaps isn't enough of a Christmas poem. If that makes sense. Taking nothing away from the poem itself, which was quite accomplished, but this point is one reason why it didn't score more highly in this round.

12 - Loved how this writer took a different spin on Christmas and the romance associated with it. I see the Christmas spirit written all over this poem in so many ways, but rather indirectly. 'Twinkle in her eyes' made me think of the lights on the tree, the blend of sugar and spice made me think of a candy cane or something sweet, and the way 'her lips curved' as in the shape of a candy cane perhaps. It's as if this poem is a big potpourri of Christmas images and smells, clearly reflecting within your poem. Well done!

4 - I enjoyed the description used throughout this poem from what I gathered it was your way of describing the holiday season, quite unique. I struggled in the beginning to comprehend what the title Potpourri had to do with the idea of Christmas itself until I connected it with how you find the anticipation of Christmas to be. I would of liked to have seen a bit more festivity within this poem, I enjoyed your descriptions don't get me wrong but I feel the meaning behind the piece was a little too subtle for the prompt. I liked your use of anthropomorphism by giving the holiday human characteristics; again it was a clever approach. I didn't like the use of 'tattooed' in the last stanza, the term seems to be popping up everywhere and I feel that given your previous lovely descriptions you might have been able to find a more creative image to present to the readers imagination.

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Old Woman's Christmas (26-1= 25)

12 - An interesting piece indeed. Firstly, I was a little confused at the beginning about the setting: the mention of a cottage implies rural or small village setting, and this is reinforced by use of 'thatched' roofs. But the other references seem to place it in an urban or suburban setting: the 'blocks,' beggar and houses. This could be cleared up with a little editing. The poem itself had a very melancholic, nostalgic tone and I think was quite emotional. The reader feels sadness for the old woman as she reflects on her past. The image of her looking into the puddle to see the reflection of her younger self in an older body is effective and revealing. The ending is somewhat bittersweet, and the last line is one of my favourites. Bringing in the beggar singing the song enhances the almost Romantic tone of the poem. The is quite visual with recurring images of light and dark, clear and unclear, and while these are possibly overdone a little in places, overall they works quite well. Good job.

9 - Although I really did not care much for the format of this poem, it is truly a gift in many other ways. You've penned something quite sentimental and from a entirely different perspective. While we should/may be appreciative of being able to spend the holidays with the ones we love, it is also a reminder that we should not take what we have for granted, there are many that are not surrounded by the love and warmth of family
during this time of year. Some have to spend it alone. There is so much sadness in each word you write, very touching.

5 - The mention of Ave Maria sparked a lot of questions for me. Of course this poem is written from a lonely person perspective but why are they lonely? Ave Maria is a symbolic song played at weddings, funerals etc and this made me wonder was the person lonely because she had lost a love one to someone else (they married someone else) or was it due to loss of loved ones to death. This piece had a lot of old soul to it, the images of the cottage, the song choice, the tone, you managed to capture the environment quite beautifully. This poem had the Christmas tradition entwined however it was from a different perspective which is what intrigued me so much. I didn't feel the (...) were needed in the third stanza, especially not in the first and second line, it would have been fine in the third line if you felt it was necessary I however didn't think it was. I also didn't feel you needed the comma in the second stanza first line after 'over'.

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Yuletide Gauntlet (19+2= 21)

5 - This had the feel of an ongoing narrative and it does tell a story in a coherent sequence. It reminded me a little of Romeo and Juliet, A Christmas Carol and of movies I have seen and can't remember the name of! It is about the wife's in-laws not accepting her and of how they interfere in the couple's relationship. It is obviously a strong loving relationship highlighted in the first stanza with the excellent line 'melts my humbug heart concerns.' The use of humbug not only gives an image of Christmas, but also compares the narrator to a Scrouge figure transformed or tamed by her love. Quite a few people could relate to this, as Christmas is often a time where there is most contact with in-laws. This relationship also links to the title, as facing in-laws can be like walking the gauntlet. The rhyme was quite good and it was suited to the narrative style of the poem. The way the poet used lines with primarily 7-8 syllables helped the rhyme and flow I felt. The third and fourth stanzas didn't interest me much: I didn't particularly appreciate the use of Ere. I did like the line 'caring arms are most endearing' in the fifth stanza. In ways, it wasn't the most original poem, or the most economical with words. It was quite easy reading and worked quite well without packing a big emotional or technical punch.

7 - Loved the personification
throughout this piece, absolutely brilliant. The length and rhythm of this poem were also spot on. There were a few minor mistakes in the poem - 'magi' I'm guessing was supposed to be 'magic' It's should be its, and also, didn't really like the usage of 'Ere' and 'tis since
that language wasn't used throughout the entire poem, otherwise maybe it would have been a bit more fitting. I'm not even sure if Ere is quite what you meant to use anyways. Nicely done though, very festive in many ways.

7 - The title of this poem intrigued me. I thought it was a really clever choice after I read the poem and realized why you titled it such. The thing I was really fond of here was the rhyme. You wrote a poem with a common rhyme scheme of abab and at first I didn't even notice it, it was that subtle and it gave your words a soft and flowing touch. A lot of the time with a common rhyme scheme the message can become overpowered by such rhyming that it's all you notice, this wasn't the case here and I appreciate it because I wouldn't be able to pull such thing off in any of my poetry. The one thing I did notice though is all your stanzas had the abab scheme except for stanza three, the tone did change here which is why I believe you didn't have the rhyme but I think the subtle rhyme should have been constant throughout. I enjoyed the classical writing style however personally in the first stanza second line I would of changed 'announce' to 'announcing'. 'Announce' used in this phrase seems to read more of a demand than intended. Also third stanza third line 'wilds' I feel would read better as 'wild'.

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Maesse (19)

6 - The first thing I thought when reading this poem is that the images were too vague and generalised. For example 'every horror humanly imaginable' - What is the reader supposed to see here, or take from this description? We still do not know anything much about this man and we are thrown with words such as death destruction etc. They are all just a little too difficult for the reader to relate to or make connections with. It would be more effective, and evoke more emotion, to describe a scene which implies these things rather than stating them blatantly. Saying this, things do improve in the second half where the specific scene is described, and the image of the soldier holding the child wrapped in tinsel is quite powerful. It shows the reader the emotion rather than telling it, and it is a pity this scene is not incorporated into the start of the poem. For me, the poem only really starts in that fourth stanza. The direct use of questions was a little off-putting and not very poetic. Again they could be implied rather than stated directly. On a small technical note, the irregular use of capitalisation annoyed me a little as I didn't see a real need for it or pattern in it. Despite these faults, it did stand out from the other poems in terms of subject matter, and the reader doesn't usually associate war with Christmas. However, the poem wasn't executed consistently enough to reach its full potential unfortunately, but I would encourage the poet to rewrite the poem basing it around the image of the child and tinsel, and showing rather than telling us the emotions in the piece.

4 - I had to look up what 'Maesse' meant, because I had absolutely no idea. It is 'mass' in Old English if I'm not mistaken from my research. I don't know if this was all that necessary? I feel your title was more confusing this way, which kind of also made the entire poem confusing for me also. Mass would have sufficed. Though I believe this poem was just a representation of Jesus' birth and how many commemorate his birth at midnight mass on Christmas Eve
night, clearly shown towards the end of the poem. I'm a bit
uneducated in religious traditions associated with Christmas, like the midnight mass, but I can see a bit where you're going with this poem, I did like how it was about a different part of Christmas than what the other poems focused on, a nice change of pace. You've done well, perhaps if I knew more about mass I'd understand your poem more.

9 - The message behind this poem is powerful, I actually read it quite a few times because I was so intrigued by the story and each time I'd find more emotion from your words. I liked the rhetorical questions as they give the audience something to think about, something beyond the festivities, the celebrations, the gifts. You used strong description, you set the scene and from this I could see everything you were depicting quite vividly. Well done for having such a strong and engaging tone. In the first stanza 5th line I'd remove the second 'bitter' I didn't feel it was necessary. First stanza seventh line 'dammed' should be 'damned'. I also noticed that after the full stops you didn't capitalize the beginning of each sentence, while this isn't grammatically correct I do the same thing sometimes where I write in order to keep my thoughts flowing, whether you did it for this reason or not is unknown to me but I thought it best I point it out. I loved the ending, what an emotional impact.

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Rudolph The Orphan Reindeer (17+2=19)

4 - This was the most humourous and light-hearted of all the poems and it was refreshing to see Christmas being dealt with from a different angle. In saying that, I was somewhat confused in the poem if the poet was talking about Rudolph all the time, like when he burnt his nose. This is creative and funny description but isnt it Santa, not Rudolph, who goes down the chimney and fills the stockings? Something else I felt as I read was that some lines were a little too long and didn't help the flow, and some words could be taken out and jiggled around in some places, e.g. 'brightly like a fallen fragment of the Northern Sky.' But that is a relatively minor thing. I'm finding it hard to think of critique or praise for this poem to be honest, I think mainly because it I feel quite neutral about it, it isnt one that will live too long in the memory. I think this is a piece to be enjoyed and it is quite well-written for the most part, if a little unclear about who the speaker is.

5 - I liked your little theory of Santa and his Reindeer, especially Rudolph and how Rudolph was the one delivering gifts until he burnt his nose and Santa had to take over. Interesting little poem here, you put an entirely different spin on the traditional story and why Rudolph's nose is said to be so bright. Also thought it was clever how you incorporated how Rudolph was an orphan, for he had no parents since they were far from him, yet Santa took him underneath his wing instead. Some of the images were really lovely and brought forth the spirit of Christmas. Really loved 'dancing candy canes'. I feel as though I'm interpreting this poem entirely different than what you are hoping for, but I thought you did well though.

8 - This was different for a Christmas poem, quite a dark perspective. It took me many reads to gather the deeper meaning behind the poem, in my opinion you wrote in a lot of metaphors and symbolism which was great to see but at times the poem was harder to understand. I liked the metaphor for Rudolph being 'uncared' for, someone who grew up to be something not accepted in society. The other reindeers I came to the conclusion that they were a metaphor for other people and how they began to outshine in the workplace environment. The imagery of dancing candy canes, singing angels and filling stockings by the fire helped portray your concept to the reader, these ideas were very unusual and I can't say I've ever read anything quite like this. As I read the ending I couldn't help but be swept up in emotional impact of this piece. The one thing I can say is that sometimes when you write with a lot of symbolism and metaphors it can be difficult for the audience to comprehend, reading this once wouldn't of had the same impact it had on me after I read it 4-5 times.

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Hallelujah (14)

3 - There was some clever wordplay here where the poet is describing what the boy is singing by quoting titles or parts of the song, e.g. decking the halls, silencing the night (silent night.) This was creative and good to see the poet is thinking outside the box and experimenting a little. I wasn't sure about the 'hums of a siren' reference: 'hum' indicates something soft and calm, whereas sirens imply the opposite, so hums of sirens is a little off-putting. Also, the last stanza confused me and I felt I didn't really get it. I was thrown a bit by reference to the 'saviour.' Did the poet mean Jesus, was the speaker intending to be God or was the speaker a proud parent comparing their son to Jesus because of how perfect he seems? These questions went through my head and by the end were still largely unanswered. Later I came to another possible conclusion that the parent is wondering if their son can be a saviour figure to them, perhaps help them get over depression? It was all a little vague and confusing to be honest and kind of annoyed me a little that I couldn't see what the poet intended. Overall, I think a little experimental but perhaps failed to work fully for me, hard as I tried to interpret it.

1 -
This poem could have been a bit stronger I feel and maybe a bit more original. I did like the incorporation of the different Christmas carols like Deck the Halls, Silent Night, etc.. but perhaps you could have found a more interesting way of doing so rather than just listing them like you have. I really adored the third stanza, it stood out to me the most and was most powerful I felt.

10 - I liked the emotional impact of this poem. The use of the Christmas songs created a sense of familiarity which allowed for the audience to have an instant connection to the piece. The way you incorporated the lyrics was nicely done, it was subtle and rather than looking like the lyrics had just been shoved in they seemed natural in their place. What I liked most was the emotional impact formed when you actually figure out what this poem is about. It took me a couple of reads to connect some of your imagery and once I did I was pleased by your play on words. The snowflakes in the eyes while being symbolic of Christmas they were also symbolic of cold therefore working well with the idea of life fading and the body temperature dropping. At first I didn't see the 'dressed red in green' it was so subtle that I thought it read 'red and green'. The only thing that I noticed with this piece was that the rhyme became lost towards the end, you began with a subtle rhyme, it then became obvious in the second stanza but it seemed to have faded by the end from what I could see. I felt you should have kept the subtle rhyme constant throughout.

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You Call It Christmas, We Call It Yule (15-6+2=11)

7 - This was an interesting angle to take, comparing Yule and the Christian view of Christmas which seems to encompass people of many faiths/beliefs and speak to all of them. The poet seems to be embracing the idea that whatever your beliefs, we are all people and all are equal and in ways very similar. The last two lines suggest highlight this message well. Also the use of 'your celebration' seems to appeal to many readers who have variety of beliefs. I think the rhyme works quite well in many occasions and in general, the rhyme in this round was a little better than in the first round. However in some places the rhyme did seem a little forced, like when the poet uses 'love I do feel' and 'does feed.' These seem a little awkward and amateurish to me. Apart from these instances, this poem flows quite nicely especially the first stanza which I found flowed very well. The second stanza may refer to something I am not sure of but I didn't really get (the goddess on her spinning wheel reference.) Unless it was referring to something in particular, like a Nordic Goddess for example, it didn't really work as it is a little too obscure. The poem may go on a little long and doesn't have the reader on the edge of their seat; there was no twist or complicated metaphors from what I could see. But I think it mainly achieves what it sets out to, it speaks to the reader in a direct, deliberate way and focuses on the message the poet is trying to get across.

6 - I'm sure you could have found a way to eliminate the usage of Christmas, presents, etc, yet aside from that, this is a great poem really. It is indeed interesting how we do all celebrate this time of year, but have our own names for it, varying with different cultures and beliefs. I don't feel like this
is the greatest poem I've read, but definitely lots of potential with this one. It's nice to see the variety of poetry one can come up with with such a topic, you've certainly took your own personal approach to it and I adore that. However, would have maybe liked to see a bit more of the traditions associated with Yule in this poem, like what a Yule log is or something such as that. Nicely done.

2 - Once I read the title of this poem I was intrigued to see what would be in store, it's always a pleasure reading about traditions different from my own. The poem had a nice flow to it; I liked the smooth transition between stanzas. You worked well with a common rhyme scheme which isn't always the easiest to do. While I appreciate the informative nature of this piece I also felt that perhaps it was a little too informative in the way it pushed your own personal connection to Yule in the background. It's one thing to show someone your beliefs/interests/passion whatever it may be but it's another for them to feel it and I think if this was more evident in the poem then it would have had a stronger impact on the audience. I liked the use of symbolism and the idea of the stardust within the last line, hopefully the use of 'Christmas' and 'presents' don't let this poem down with the minus of points!

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Winter Cheer (7)

2 - I felt that this one lacked a creative spark and that possibly the poet maybe struggled to come up with an original poem for this challenge. I know I may keep harping on about rhyme but in some cases here again it damaged the poem, esp. 'twinkling eyes that see' - To be honest this made me cringe a little, it was forced to make the rhyme because of course eyes see, there was no need to explain it to the reader. I was a bit confused by the reference to the town being far below: Was the narrator in the air? I felt the repetition didn't work to a great extent; while it did tie the poem together it didn't really have an impact. I have seen worse poems: the flow isn't bad in many parts and I liked the use of the word 'dabble,' but in this competition it didn't impress me much I'm afraid to say.

2 - Perhaps this could have been a bit more original and more powerful of a cheer. Obviously it's not the easiest thing to write, since there are so many of them, but little bits I felt sounded too much like a few of them already out there.
Especially 'children will wait all
snug in their beds' was too similar in my opinion to 'The Night Before Christmas', if not, exactly the same. Would have just liked something more attention grabbing, and I couldn't quite find that here. I didn't feel as though I was really cheering along with you all that much.

3 - I felt this was one of the more 'festive' poems of the bunch in regards to how the topic was written. While some would consider this to be a Christmas cliche I enjoyed the spirit of the poem, it makes one embrace the holiday season a little more. I liked how this poem reads like a nursery rhyme, again it makes the reader feel more involved with tradition and while I as an adult found joy reading I think children would embrace it as a lovely little story before bed. While I liked the subtle rhyme I also found it to be a little all over the place as the scheme was hard to follow. I wasn't too fond of the repetition formed by repeating certain words and phrases in the last three lines of the poem; I think a different approach to the ending would have formed a stronger punch.

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The Festivity Arrivals (5)

1 - This is the third poem on the list and the third poem that uses both 'soul' and 'December' early in the poem, which I found interesting but a little annoying because as mentioned in a previous comment, I do not particularly like the word soul. To be honest, this poem didn't drag me in as much and didn't have any effect on me as a reader. There are typos that are distractions in the poem, e.g. purpose of this holidays - this should be these. The elves on everyone's home gets to work - This just didn't really make sense to me. It's hard to get into a poem with mistakes in it like these. Perhaps the poem also lacked a certain depth that other poems had in this round. It seems straightforward and a quite literal (without metaphors, deeper meanings, possible ambiguity etc.) that didn't help the provoke thought in the reader. Sorry I can't say much more on this piece as I just didn't captivate me.

3 - This poem started out rather well for me but as it went on, some of the wording was a bit off, some repetition was not needed in my opinion, which was basically the entire last stanza, I didn't feel there was a need for a summary of your entire poem to end the piece. I felt as though towards the second half of the poem, my head was spinning in circles because I could no longer quite grasp what you were saying. This is quite the festive piece, don't get me wrong, but it seemed a bit jumbled towards the end. Also, shoo shoo trains should be choo choo trains. But truly, the beginning really intrigued me, but you lost my attention half way through.

1 - What I liked about this poem was the description, it was vivid in the way you painted story book imagery within the readers mind. This was another poem that had Christmas spirit to it, I was comforted through your warm imagery and I like how you engaged your reader by playing on the senses and developing an environment that felt safe. You had a couple of errors scattered throughout which sadly caused a problem for flow: First stanza fourth like 'aboard' should be 'board' and the third stanza needs to be grammatically altered in order for it to read correctly. "Now everyone gets adorn" would read better as "Now everyone is adorned". A few more grammatical errors can be seen but I believe once these have been edited the poem would have a better flow as one wouldn't have to stop and re-read. I liked the subtle rhyme when used, you write effectively with it however I would of liked to have seen it throughout the entire poem rather than just be chucked in within a couple of stanzas.

TOTAL POINTS:

In Circles / On Departure - 99
Murk and Murder / All Is Bright - 99
Lonely December / Eve's New Moon and the Soul's Dream - 85
Winter Escape to Barryessa / An Old Woman's Christmas - 84
Farm / Maessa - 76
Kofi / Decemeber Comes With You - 76
Succumb / Potpourri - 65
Breezing Along With The Breeze / Rudolph The Orphan Reindeer - 63
Two Pianos / Yuletide Gauntlet - 61
Unconditional Stupidity / You Call It Christmas, We Call It Yule - 61
Panalol / Hallelujah - 55
Mysterious Discrepancy / The Festivity Arrivals - 37
Sharpened Tongue / Winter Cheer - 37

ELIMINATED:

Yuletide Gauntlet
You Call It Christmas, We Call It Yule
Hallelujah
Festivity Arrivals
Winter Cheer

--Please watch for Round 3, posted shortly --

I knew I'd go out this round, it was fun to be a part of, Thanks Britt.
I'd already penned some peices on christmas, and I find rhyme difficult when fitting around a topic chosen for me, I couldn't be more original in this round, what a flop eh?

Wow.....

Nice contest!
Keep up the good work guys.

And to the judges,
thanks for the feed back and I apologize for my grammatical errors.

I thought everyone did great..! I can't write a Christmas or rhyming poem if it makes anyone feel better lol

Maxwell Smart: "Missed it by That Much."

Great Contest Britt

Later I came to another possible conclusion that the parent is wondering if their son can be a saviour figure to them, perhaps help them get over depression?

^ Exactly, judge :)

Thanks Britt for the contest.. and good luck to all who moved to the next round.