Weekly contest winners 1/2/2011

Melpomene and Melissa, unless I have miss-counted it is your 23rd win!
That's an accomplishment XD, and oh yes so well deserved ladies!

Kiko, an awesome poem, I loved it, it truly touched me. Your 7nth win, can't wait to read your 8th!

Thanks judges for everything, and for that Awesome comment on my H'm, appreciated.

Winners and H'ms:

*Kiko (4+10+4)=18
*Melpomene (10+7)=17
*Melissa (10+7)=17

-Jeni (10)
-Ms Sunshine (10)
-Karla (7)
-Maple tree (7)
-Mario Vitale (7)
-colm (4)
-Everlasting (4)
-Snickerpie (4)

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Silver sleigh
by Kiko (4+10+4)=18

The most heart-warming poem that I have read in the past 2 weeks, one of an unknown child laid to rest beneath a cross, on a hiking trail, under a
Christmas tree. Reminds me of the tomb of the unknown soldier in D.C., where many of us, even those who have a hardened heart, break down....
I know I did, and I was only a foreign visitor then.
The story here is so heartwarming, something that can only come from a poet's pen:

I think of how you'll not grow old
like other little boys.
I think of all the pain, untold,
from still unopened toys.

Painful, and very thoughtfully crafted words, which will echo in many a parent's hearts, who have lost a little one, to an untimely death.

I long to see your silver sleigh
come gliding down this path,
Whose tiny frame, in pieces, lay
beneath your cross of lath.

This ending stanza, is a deep and somber Christmas tribute to a lost young child that will fill many a sad hearts, even those who are non-believers, with solemn belief at this magical time of the year. (4)

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I immediately gathered this was not simply about the time of year, but about missing a loved one who has passed at Christmas, especially a child. Since the
opening really set the emotion, and it was strong throughout, and the tone was more of miss fortune and sadness than anger and pain, which I thought was a lovely way to write this piece. I loved the gentleness of this, how it flowed smoothly but had that tone of sadness and longing through each stanza. The rhymes
for subtle and not wholly noticeable, which added to the greatness of the write.
In total, the best I have read this week. (10)

--

This is the perfect example of the fact that one does not need fancy words to capture the readers interest,that one does not need to sugarcoat everything to evoke emotions...In 4 tiny stanza's the writer summed up more sadness than
what my heart could take..

"Although I do not know your name,
and, doubtless, never shall,
I feel a small amount of shame,
when hiking on this trail"

I think,I say I think..I'm not sure but I believe the writer is speaking about Jesus and that he feels shame that he had to die for us like the guilt.
I also loved the use of "doubtless" when it could have been anything else here...it felt good on the tongue.

aaaah, this poem felt like, how to explain this.. you know when you are dieting ..and you have a bite of chocolate? and you go like..."I know I shouldn't,
but it feels so good" because,the write makes me sad...like really sad.
But,I just keep coming back to re-read because its is so..amazingly good.

Kiko,kudos.Excellent Job on this write and so fitting for December.(4)

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Remedy
By Melpomene (10+7)=17

My Favourite line here must be

"I once loved words
More than time
Detests the body",

Because it holds so much here, time is harsh on the skin as we grow older, which seemed to be the ideal behind this piece, how we wait so long for something we almost forget to live, as time passes quickly, and the contrast between loving and detesting
somebody really works well.

The image of dimples and robbers struck me as being well crafted as our innocence and childhood flies in a heartbeat, as time moves.The image was the best part of this, the structure of words, for the craft of this was utterly outstanding, Plus the emotion was strong and powerful, I felt very sad when reading this I felt everything I read, Awesome (7)

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this poet and her endless creativity, swept me off my feet this week and had me more melted than a burned marshmallow.where should I start,
when all I have to say about this piece will probably still fail to capture all its beauty..

"There seems to be
no remedy; "

perfect intro,for the first thing that came to mind was.."no remedy for what?"..so it really pulled me in and made me get interested. I wanted to find out
immediately what seem to be the problem.

"I once loved words
more than time
detests the body"

of course we all know what time does to the body,we all know time eats it up slowly till there is nothing left of it..yet the writer puts the words in such position that the meaning doesn't strike you instantly,its almost.. like she is telling the reader
"oh,I know you know it..dig deeper"

"The hunger I feel
is a heart plagued
with playgrounds,
missing dimples and
I haven't caught
the robber."

here she does the same thing I mentioned above..though hunger here can be seen as either..the longing for something..or emptiness..she is not giving it away. it adds to the mystery in the piece, while playgrounds and dimples all backfires to innocence well,stolen innocence...the words are so cleverly chosen..god.

"After you I learnt
to speak no evil and
my pen taped her mouth like
a prisoner of war"

Here the pen is taping the mouth of someone else...so she is either speaking of two people throughout the whole piece or she is writing from a third person's point of view. Although something tells me the writer is speaking about herself there is room for doubt...thus more mystery..now,we all know what a prisoner of war wants right?..its peace, its freedom..

here the writer made me dig deeper,and made go back to the top of the poem and link.. "I once loved words" ...with "taped her mouth" so I gather
someone is feeling trapped..and yet,at the end there is a little ray of hope,because although she says
there is no remedy for waiting..she leaves the ...
"but I'm still waiting anyways." hanging in the air..

the emotion in this piece is heart-shaking..
from beginning to end...the flow was flawless what an amazing piece of art..and I am hopelessly in love with this write.(10)

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Strange Fruit
by Melissa -- (7+10)=17

Another amazing nature poem, with a hidden tone of a love poem, that needs another "master" in this art to craft. The strange oblong fruit,
my best guess is the purple core passion fruit, native to New Zealand.
It is indeed "fuzzy" with a "purple" belly, as against the yellow bellies of its Hawaiian cousin. What makes this poem stand out is the personification and symbolism given to the "fruit" with purple insides:

a beating heart at your core
I heard it thump once
and the rest of nature fell into the soft repose
of Winter (repose = peaceful, calm, tranquil.....so wonderfully used here with "Winter"!)

and then the equally beautiful choice of words that follow in its flow, enticing it to leave its "limping stem"/ mother branch, to be caught in another's loving hands to explore love, is so heart-melting and emotive:

but you cling on to that half limp stem
as though it held a map of every possible dream
in the palm of its branch

Let go, dear, feel the uncertainty of air
just fall,
for my love has so many hands
and I won't let you bruise, darling

In my opinion it is a winner. Perhaps, the poem belongs more appropriatel in the "nature" section than "miscellaneous". It is indeed a tender,touching piece of art written with a loving symbolism given to an
otherwise odd looking fruit, which will touch the heart of any
passion fruit grower or lover.(7)

--

There is such subtlety here, are you describing a fruit or is there something hiddenwithin your words and the uncertainty of air The more i delve into this poem the
more i wonder. Yet there is one thing for sure, its captivating, simple yet contains so much depth as the soft repose of winter (10)

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And I pull away
by Ms. Sunshine

Yet another very touching piece by a "master poetess" of sad poetry,Ms. Sunshine (a more appropriate screen name could be "your eclipsed sunshine"). The poem has a certain feel to it that pulls the reader in to the projected
sadness in this break-up, when leaving someone once dearly loved. The metaphorical depiction of planting a garden of evergreen fruit bearing trees to project the love once held, is so emotive.
Each stanza reverberated with touching emotions. These were in particular, deep:

but I fell for you (did you mean fell "of you"?)
like a yellow leaf,
with an autumn heart
that passes by
only to leave.

The use of words in here to bury the spring revolution (love), with a heartfelt apology conveyed to the lover for the break up, was so different from most
others who experience a heartbreak, and blame their lover for the break-up, brings home the point that there are still a breed of humble people
(I know one other, another master poetess of PnQ) who do have the ability to take self blame (even when it may not have been their fault)
...so well penned here:

And if I love, I walk away
so forgive me when the spring
revolution I provoked in your
heart finds a grave, or try to
forgive me after today.

The use of the phrase "wintry legend" inventively projects the emotional ambivalence/indecision as the reason to walk away from a relationship,
was very thought provoking. But, it seems the last line left a ray of hope to this "frozen" relationship, a chance to thaw, perhaps in the Arab spring :)

For I'm freezing into
a wintry legend
that comes with a season
that doesn't have to end.

Perhaps then, I (will) stop pulling away.(10)

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Train Ride to?
by Jenni

Let me say that this is one of the nicest little poems I have ever had the pleasure of reading. The title is great - it holds all of the meaning of the poem and yet
gives nothing away. It may seem obvious but I feel that it's important to point out how the simplicity of the structure of this poem is just as important as each
word - it holds the confused feeling of the narrator together with just enough room to breathe. The flow and line breaks match up with the word choice in a very perfect way. At no point did I feel worry or panic while reading this but rather the sad confusion described so well in the last 3 line stanza. I really hope that this sees the front page because it certainly deserves to be there (10)

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Heather Smiles She Lights Up A Room
by Mario Vitale

This is definitely one of the strongest pieces this week. It's very straightforward to me, so I won't get into imagery or anything. There are a few minor things that I would change here and there (punctuation, spelling errors, etc.) but this is all
redeemed by word choice and the excellent rhyme and rhythm. Especially the rhyming...it is perfect from the stance of not only a judge but a fellow writer.

As a side note: if there is to be any editing done, I suggest removing the final line - it's sort of unnecessary.

Excellent work this week! (7)

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Origami
by Karla

I've had my eyes on this little jewel the whole week, as I gathered my thoughts about it..all I can say is that those few little words probably touched
me more than any long poem ever would..I appreciate the explanation the writer left behind as well,it only adds more to the purity of the poem.

when I finished reading I too,
felt a sense of peace inside..

"When the bird was completely folded,
it was her who could finally fly"

I can't even grasp onto the depth of that phrase,it could be so many things...huge creativity in here,like major.What a dazzling heartfelt poem, I think it could even be used as some slogan for an origami campaign or so..

such beauty,such sincerity
I'm speechless really.(7)

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I am a snowflake
By Maple tree

A lovely poem, where you have managed to capture the freshness of the snowflake and its delicate newness. Inhaling its beauty helped give the first stanza impact leading us on to I whisper to finish on a high and what we would expect from a snowflake.
Well done (7)

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New Mexico
by Colm

This poem is cool. I'm not sure what it's about, but there's something about the imagery that struck a nerve in me. A good nerve, that is!

I had to read it 5 or 6 times and mull it over to really come to my decision here. The description of the setting is great and the ending leaves just enough to the imagination that I wanted more as a reader. It seems like part of a story.
I really think you should write more about this Palomino in New Mexico! (4)

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A Trance Of Serendipity?
By Everlasting

When I read this, I felt a sweetness, a gentle warmth in the air, for although the tone was almost sad, there was a hint of love and longing, It stuck in me,
so was definitely a winner for me from the off.
The length struck me for its shortness and immediate strength to capture me,and make me feel warm and calm, for The use of serendipity gave a feeling of
pleasure right when it was needed, and throughout I was captivated by the the descriptions and suppleness of the wording. A very cute piece. (4)

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Love your baby girl
By Snickerpie

Few rhyming poems win these days, but i really enjoyed the journey you took me on.
The topic is clearly an emotive one told in simple terms. The Rhyme is not forced adding to meter and flow. A very enjoyable read thank you descriptions and suppleness of the wording. A very cute piece. (4)

Ms Sunshine
**JUDGES, if I missed anything please let me know.

Congratulations, the first WINNERS and HM's of 2012. Superb poems.

Congrats to all!

Congratulations to winners and HM's, a perfect way to start the year :)

WHAT A WAY TO KICKOFF THE YEAR 8D

Very well written poems. Perhaps the lack of a tie bodes well for the New Year?

Good work, judges, thank you. Thanks, Nana, as well.

Congratulations to all winners and HMs.

Congratulations all.

"I think it could even be used as some slogan for an origami campaign or so.."

Never thought of a poem for a campaing. Poetry is supposed to be written for some other purpose.

Congratulations to everyone, excellent poems.... thank you judges for all your hard work putting this together each week and I thank you very much for the honorable mention... :-)

Congratulations to everyone and thanks for the HM! :)

Congrats all!

Nana you did what I've already done... Put 2011 still :) lol

Well done to all involved, adn thanks for the hm :)

LMAO..lol britt, you know I only noticed when you said so..I even printed out my research today and had the wrong dated typed out, not used to it yet i guess :P

It's a weird adjustment!

Congratulations winners and HMs!

Congratulations To the Winners and HM's!!!

A beautiful start to the year!

x

Nana you're awesome!

Congratulations.. thanks God, there are no ties lol

Awesome poetry!

Congrats to all!

Congrats everyone! Great work :)

Sir Larry & Abed: Ties are still there, though a little less obvious. The first place poem (18), edged the second place ties (17 each), and knocked out what would have been otherwise 3rd place ties (10 each), if the judges did not have some consensus in their varied brains. :) But, yes you are both right, as we just got a little lucky with the 3rd judge who contributed his/her 4 to the 18 (1st place winner), and help avoid ties for both the 2nd and 3rd place,that would have been really interesting to sort! So, I think PnQ members will be happier with 5 winners each week, that will make for less ties, and more smiley faces! How about a vote for 5 winners each week Sibyllene, before .&. gags my mouth with sour chocolate candies?

Nevermind.

..

The only tie that would matter is one that forces a tie breaker. Ties among clear winners are irrelevant - they all go on the front page.

I think more smiley faces make up for less sour candies, ask any kid!

Thanks!! and congrats to the other winners and HM's and the judges for their hard work!!

Thank you all! & a thank you to the judges, I appreciate your kind words.

Congrats to Melissa & Kiko, very deserving of the front page.

Congrats to the HM's, some great pieces this week.