Winners 1/23/2012 Hallelujahsss

Congratulations guys, about time Jane and Sib wrote new poems again! :) Great work Ladies, Abed that was a front page worthy poem!
Hats off for Slighte as well!

Well done for the rest of the H'Ms, thanks for the kind judge who left me that sweet comment.
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Votes:

Silvershoes: 30
sib: 17
LP "Abed" : 11

Slighte: 10

Yaki: 7
Lu: 7
Larry: 7

Slighte: 4
Ms Sunshine: 4
Princess: 4
ronelMcCarthy : 4

His Wooden Girl
by Silvershoes (10+10+10)= 30

This piece is so well written that while reading it, I didn't even pay attention to what it was about. There is an air of confidence here that makes the story you're telling very believable and therefore more enjoyable to read. I didn't, however, like the quote at the end. It feels like a bit of an unfinished phrase to me. I sort of overlooked that, though. Overall,
this was a very solid piece. (10)

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The way I saw this piece to begin with was just a simple correlation between a country man and his wooden guitar, but then I began to question the real
meaning and came up with my own interpretation that, the wooden girl is in fact someone he craves and cares for but is unsure as to the feelings of she.
I like the use of the guitar as a metaphor for a girl/woman, and the personification works a treat here, I love the way this was worded, and the
gentleness and musicality of the piece, with a great rhythm and flow throughout. It is beyond my belief how a piece of poetry can really inspire and touch the
lives of others in this way. Totally beautifully exquisite poetry. (10)

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Easily the top poem of the week, to my read. This one comes out as a very deep and a sad, heart ripping write, from the view point of one who is betrayed.
The poet so calmly reflects on the jilted characters disbelief on the sudden chain of events, that it draws a most heartfelt sympathy from the reader.
The poets choice of words and simile's using the term "hawk faced" to depict the betrayer not only as a hawk-eyed with mesmerizing golden-eyes (eyes more
golden than summer wheat and dandelions) but also a matching hawkish character, shrude (cunning), when devouring its prey, at its most vulnerable time,
is skillfully displayed and draws in the readers imagination and sympathy. The inner feeling (it's no hardship to grasp the heat that flows between them,
reverberating in perfect harmony) seems so well portrayed here, with more than subliminal candid frankness, using a creative imagination:

I do not know if while resting in the canopy of his arms, gazing up at his winded cheeks like
tall drinks of cool whisky on a swollen day,
she falls drunk as a fool in spells of her own acoustic chords.

The simile using a spell binding captivating acoustic stringing to depict the drunken stupor of a gal in love, depicted here is unique, but I would have imagined "her" to be "him" in the last line above.
The last stanza is a metaphorical masterpiece, and is what motivated me to select this one as my week's winner. Since, I cannot outshine A Lonely Soul's
interpretation here (Goddamn him! He plagiarized my thoughts), I am forced to re-quote part of his comment (these were supposed to be mine):
"He the hawk" = a preying bird, that you perceive in this "incoherent blindness"
(=confused disbelief) and she "his wooden girl" (= peasant, simple girl, a metaphor from the matryoshka doll, a Russian wooden nesting doll) who is mesmerized by his "strumming"
(= guitar playing or sweetness), who dies in his absence, but feels like she is amongst the stars (pieces of stardust), when he is around, sweet talking to her.

It is indeed a Jane classic, loaded with her "strummings" and reverberating sad acoustics in a master play of emotions. But, I have hope for the character in this beautiful verse, mauled by a hawk and left for dead, to find a true love some day, for as long as she has some love left in the heart, she should be one day, be able to find a better string player to heal and play her cardiac chords, with truer and more skillful "strummings." (10)

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Ghosts are Empty Things
by Sibyllene (10+7)=17

I love how the title covers the whole content of the poem, I love how the words seems to be all scattered around the page but the punctuation was good so it still reads smoothly, I think the use of "extra chair" here was clever. because it could be so many things,when I think of extra chair I often
think of visitors,anticipating someone..

I love how the writer took "ghost" to another dimension, not talking about something haunting nor creepy, (although the poem was a little bit creepy) she did not speak as to how people react to ghost,
or about a ghost causing trouble, or the usual clich of ghost haunting things she just spoke about ghosts,in themselves with no strings what they are.. and when I think back on the title and think about the "silent "
in the end...of the poem I conclude indeed that they are empty things, no wait, the writer almost made me believe that they do not exist at all..

Clever bee! (10)

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I think there were in excess of 46 poems this week, and whittling these down to a final three hasn't been an easy task and I would have been happy with my top three being in any order. This is a short poem but beautifully constructed and structured. From the interspacing of the lines to the excellent finish "all the way down" Who wouldn't be caught up in the
imagery this poem creates, to leave you cold and spine tingling. Exceedingly effective (7)
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Water for Elephants
By Lebanese Phoenix (7+4)= 11

The opening stanza drew me in here. The follow up to the writer's previous is in someways the best piece of poetry I have read for a while, simply for the meaning behind this and the way it was incorporated into the piece so effectively. Woman are made for many things but to have children is one of the greatest gifts given to the female, and to be unable to give birth and have that bond between themselves and a baby is heartbreakingly sad, to write about this in a way that this poet did is beyond my imaginable knowledge,
I love the use of elephants in here, a great metaphor to use, and the ending was so strong and saddening, this is really one of the great pieces. (4)

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An eye catching title that seems to have been borrowed (probably unknowingly) from the award winning novel/film namesake by Sara Gruen. I watched the film last year and loved it. The story in the novel/film is much different, that of a Vet student who becomes a circus hire purely by accident, falls in love with the circus owner's wife, and then the spin
from their on. The film version won the People choice award (People choice Oscar) for Favorite Drama Movie in 2011.

Here are a few of my cents:
LP's version of Water for Elephants, does not relate at all to the novel/movie, is one of his classiest, enchanting, and superbly worded poems. Classified as a misc. poem understandably, as it is a sequel to his earlier sad poem Elephants based
on Kris Allen' song the Truth. It is really a love poem, as the amorous words in here are an attempt by the male character of the poem to revive the love he
has for his loved one, in his own Mot pour amoureux (=words for those in love),
laden with LP style superlatives. Here is one:

Darling...

if it weren't for your
lime heavens (never thought I would see these 2 words together) canoeing my skies, (aha! so serene, equating skies to an ocean, a metaphorical beauty)
I wouldn't have
found the fountain
of youth, (sure, I would like one too, just show me the way to your lime heaven...)

I only have one suggestion:

The flower symbolism in this stanza could have been more powerful, in my opinion,
by rewording it as below (trading irises for jasmine):

For iris's and dandelions
only bloom wider
'midst those
lovely jasmines...

My justification: Irises and dandelions can be masculine. Iris's depict valor, hope, promise in love and wisdom. Dandelions represent desire, faithfulness and love me, amongst other meanings. But, Jasmine is typically feminine depicting sensuality,
modesty, grace and elegance.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and to me this poem is pure beauty, written from the point of view of a sad lover trying to appease his loved one and revive
the love between them. I now see a new name for our LP here (Love Prince) with this poem. So any Jasmine type, if you are saddened and jilted, and need a little healing therapy, just pm him (or join his new club), and I will guarantee you that you would not be disappointed. (7 points)

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The Malcontent
By Slighte

This poem has a lovely depth and is well rounded. Though it seems quite simplistic in its approach, it is very effective and works exceptionally well. Thieve in the first line is impacting and a great start "I thieve my self" should my self be one word? I found this
poem quite addictive and refreshing and although I question the use of the word catharsis which I think doesn't quite fit, though understand why it was used, but all in all an excellent piece. Well done (10)

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Sunshines Moon
By Larry chamberlin the godfather

I love the use of the words here, it fits the persona of the piece whom its written.
It was a simple yet well written piece, with a tone of inspiration and love, a gentle
lullaby to warm the heart. Such a sweet piece of poetry written with care. (7)

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Humble
by Yaki

I found this to be very touching. I like how the writer spends her time not only
speaking of strengths in the subject of the poem but weaknesses and flaws, too.
There is a calm peacefulness that surrounds each stanza and I thought that the
final two lines wrapped up the poem very nicely and still maintained the main
theme perfectly. (7)

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Lonely December
by Lu

the metaphors this writer used in this write are probably what created such an impact
on me.the poem starts with a vivid intro that really pulls you in..
"Today I sat with the past"
such an unique phrase, I often perceive the past as something to get lost in,
to think about..but never sitting with it,I thought it was a great personification

"and time with all its
power to pull forward
flew backwards"

I love this! I love it,its like the writer is saying that even time gave in to the past,
when it had all power to go the future.

"Yet with a palm full
of loneliness and a pen
in hand I mended
a relationship
between feelings and thoughts"

the way these phrases are worded are beyond clever, here the writer explains what every writer does when broken, take that pen and mend things, or maybe not mend but ease.. although it is coated with a metaphor you can still pull out of it that the writer is grateful for having the pen, thus for writing..further,I just have to say that this
poem is as sad as its title the atmosphere the writer created is as gloomy as the images through out the poem, what a beautiful write..(7)

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Front Line
by Slighte

"There is nothing beautiful
about the ocean."

This is a very powerful opening statement. The poem immediately challenges the reader in straightforward manner. I think that there is a lot to be
said about this topic and you summed it up very nicely in this poem. The title is very nice, too. It sort of threw me off when I started reading the poem but I quickly realized the point and found it to be very fitting. Nice work here. (4)

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A Message; Without the Poem
by Ms Sunshine

I love how the title says "without" the poem, yet it reads very "poem-like" (okay,I made that word) this is so raw and true,and although it does not contain metaphor the writer did a great job getting her point across in a brutally honest, .. yet beautiful way.
I was hooked,and I just kept re-reading because write such as these are just so relatable, it gives you that sense of assurance that you're not alone in the world that some people feel the same way you do towards certain things.. I also loved the "oh,no you don't" in the
ending it gave it more power. sometimes, you just want to read something refreshing, something that impacts the mind yet does not confuse it..AND THIS WAS IT.
I love,I love,I love . (4)

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In circles
by The Princess 4

Another beautiful but sad love poem, I believe miscategorized in the misc. category, crafted
with unique vocabulary, by a Poetess who is known to publish masterpeices. I guess, to you, I'll always harbor shadows of kohl and light trails For a moment I wondered what the heck is kohl, but a little search led me to what I had suspected, it is Arabic for Surma or Kajal (used as a dark eyeliner by Egyptian and Indian/Eastern women for ages immemorial, dating back to 3100 B.C). It carries different significance in different cultures on different occasions, but is largely used as a cosmetic today, to enhance the beauty
of the eyes. So to me the author is projecting that she will always try to be beautiful to her loved one. A lovely thought, and noble, very traditional as well.

You'll see me, every autumn, on beds
of reddening leaves, with light seeping into
the darkness of my hair and the sun
in my eyes. Burning,
the same ambers and browns
of your eyes, in my eyes.

What can I say about this stanza.... Autumn...reddening leaves....sunlight seeping in hair
and eyes..... bringing reminisces of amber brown to the lovers eyes.....a lovely and pristine
way to describe the expectancy of another season of love, if he returns.

I guess, to me, you'll always harbor
choppy seas of ink and circles
of Zen. I'll hear you everytime
flutes of champagne sing
against my fingers and brushes
whisper - a one-stroke Enso,
staring sightlessly- against
my palm. Locks
of your dark glossy
hair in my palm.
This last stanza, was the most difficult to interpret. Using the symbolism of Enso or circles
of Zen (from Zen Buddhism), in what seems to be a love poem, is crafty and speaks volumes
about the poet's imagination. To use "flutes of champagne" (toasting wine cups) and relate them
to enso ( a Zen circle) was interesting, but not very clear in its conveyed meaning at the end.
I would suggest breaking this biggish stanza in to 2 pieces and rearranging the lines to better
convey the implied meaning. Nevertheless, the overall appeal that this poem carried seems
deserving to its nomination and possible win, to this reader. (4)

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Could have loved me? (4)
by ronel mccarthy

Although this poem is only five lines I couldn't go past it. For such a short piece it is very expressive and impacting and a great example of what poetry is all about. It conveys so much, desire, hope, lose, regret and that's just scratching the surface. Although the
first four lines are strong on their own, it's the last line that gives this poem so much punch....I admit to staring at those five lines for quite some time.

Love and Light;
NaaaaaNaaaaa

Note: if anything is missing, judges, please send me a pm. thanks :]

Congrats to all the winners and HM's :)

Congratulations winners & HMs & thanks to the judges. & Nana.
Thanks, too, for the HM.

Half of the sexy mods won this week!

^ hahaha

The wins were too predictable. Wonderful writes, meaningful content and lovely poems. Great job all.

Congratulations to all the winners and HM's!!!

Of course well deserved!!!

Awesome job judges and Nana!!!

x

Hahah those judges are fascinatingly awesome, I can never read such insightful comments without grinning :)

Congrats all and thank you, too.

Congrats to the winners and HMs :)

Omg, Miss shimmy lipgloss barbie whoop herself 3 10's :O :O :O ! waaay to goooooooo!

congratz everybody!

Congrats winners and Hm's :)

Congrats to all 3 winners, it was a pleasure reading these poems over and over this week!

Thanks Sunshine Flower & Judges for all the hard work & well done to the HM's.

I'm honored to have received such wonderfully rich comments on my poem, so thanks for that judges! What you wrote was a joy for me to read.

Congratulations other winners and honorable mentions. Well done.

Thanks for posing, Nana ;) as always!

Well done winners and all involved!

Congrats everyone. Good job all

Grazie to all winners and HMs! Way to rep TC, Sibbers and Jane! :D:D:D

Congrats winners & HMs! Great poems this week!