Winners 1/30/2012 CONG RA tshuooo.... LAY..shenz

:) Congrats for our 3 winners and plenty H'Ms!

Abed, your taking a spot dude! Well done!
Dixiedaisy and Narphi, amazing writes, well deserved.
Keep the talent.

Note: There will be 3 poems as "H'Ms" without comments, they belong to a judge who needs a bit of time for "family" reasons and will send the comments soon, so keep an eye; I'll update it with the comments once i receive.

VOTES:

Dixiedaisy (7+10)=17
Narphangu (10+4)=14
Lebanese Phoenix (4+7)=11

Kiko (10)
Britt (10)
Screamin demon (10)

Lioness (7)
Yaki (7)
sib (7)

Blissful (4)
William (4)
Diixiedaisy (4)

COMMENTS:

Beyond the Rainbow
by: Dixiedaisy (10+7)=17

This poem is indeed the most pristine and immaculate piece of virginal art this entier month that I have encountered, in my opinion, written by someone who really knows how to pen the subtleties of lost opportunities in love, their fading memories, and the attempt to hold on to them, in all their magnificence and splendor. I think I will not do justice if I did not re-quote some of the lines/stanza's here with my simple interpretation next to some of these beautiful lines in parentheses:
Autumn always found me
in pigtails, behind the moon, (depicting childhood innocence)
beyond the rain, (as in beyond the rainbow)
with dreams...
that I dared to dream.
Hoping there was more
than gray skies, (more in life than just dark memories)
weathered paint (eroded wishes/desires)
and locked cellars. (opportunities denied)

Searching for emeralds (emeralds are symbolic for love)
in sapphire skies. (sapphire blue color depicts the color of sadness here)
Without guidance
of saffron paths (perhaps fiery, lit or elegant)
nor ruby shoes. (passion filled love)
I found it...
the golden side of the rainbow. (where the pot of gold lies hidden according to ancient Irish mythology)

Sands of youth
filtered through
the hour glass

^An elegant poetic way to say how my youth slipped away ever so slowly, like sand particles dripping through an houglass, one by one.

And the last stanza, was just superb, poignant and perhaps penned with perfection, in the way it projects to the readers mind that only fragments of those lovely memories remain, to which I clutch on, like poppies (delicate/thin) between fingers and palm....omg so beautiful! Followed by the amazingly beautiful ending lines stating the symbolism of the color green using pines, Bermuda grass and a mossy pond, in autumn/august to the green color of an emerald (=love) that I once sought....... were simply a treat to read.

I could not find a better poem this week to top my charts, perhaps this entire judging season. Simply elegant, brilliant and sublime in many ways and more.... much more deserving than these 3 adjectives, that I could find in my vocabulary today to describe how wonderful it was, as I read this piece of haunting art. (10 points).
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"Autumn always found me
in pigtails"

I think we all know pigtails symbolyse childhood most of the time.. (little girls) I like the imaginary here,I think the "always" indicates a certain emotion.
perhaps careless ness because something that is "always" finding you at some point doesn't take you by surprise anymore.there is so much to pull out
from one simple phrase..

"Searching for emeralds
in sapphire skies.
Without guidance
of saffron paths
nor ruby shoes.
I found it."

I think this is brilliant,this could be seen from some many point of views not to mention that the "sapphire skies" created the most beautiful image in my mind
I LOVE how the writer kept the stones through out the whole stanza. To me this stands here as a way of saying that childhood was hard, I even believe the writer is speaking about money problems too.
the stanza in itself is already very elegant and I love the positivity of "I found it" it indicates perseverance and how she managed to even without guidance
find something she thought was impossible.

"I awaken,
in my own backyard
full of pine trees,
bermuda grass
and the little pond.
Each of us
-green- "

I think this is too beautiful.from what I know, people always say that green is the color of hope,and I don't know if the writer did this on purpose here
but what it did to me was so uplifting.. although this write does contain the melancholy of growing and finding our own place somewhere I do believe it also packed with beauty and hope and lessons..
Amazing Job, Gorgeous poetry. (7)

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Deer in the Woods
by Narphangu (10+4)=14

I found it best to envision this wrap around word salad :) (Narph style), by breaking it up in stanza's. The concept of wrap around lines is crafty, and perhaps stylish in free verse, but to me is like "spaghetti", as against "waffles" (compartmentalized). I think this poem deserves to have a HM or win, not because some heavy hitters nominated it, but because it exemplifies a certain skill to create wrap around line arrangements, and the challenge
it poses to the nimble reader's deciphering brain. So here goes an attempt to interpret from a naïve reader's brain:

The initial 4 lines seem to project the writer's despondent mood, and "helter-skelter" thoughts as hinted by the metaphorical use of dank(=damp)
forest with mussed (=messy/rumpled) trees and fussed branches cast askew (=awry) here:

Lately, the forest is dank
with mussed trees,
leaves fussed and branches
cast askew for better air.

I've been tiptoeing here:
hoof stumping a
crunch into stiffening
snow, rutted in
a gangling pattern: homeless
seeking home.

^An expression, stating that I have been hoof stumping (=walking like a deer) in a rutted (=fixed, boring pattern) and gangling (=awkward) pattern, homeless (=without a moral support) seeking a home.

Perhaps it's the sighing
wet (? way) of this world
that's caught my nose,
tempted my tongue towards
the bitterer brambles--

Complexly worded, leading the reader to interpret that the author's sensitive nose and tongue (figurative for thoughts), are being tempted to experience the bitter brambles (Norwegian for "haggle" or "quarrel") of this world. Bramble
is also a prickly shrub/thorny bush, like the raspberry or blackberry, but then it would not fit the thought here, with the use of "bitterer" as an adjective.

though the wind is high
in the old oak trees and
the fur of my
neck still stands thick
in the breeze,
I find it harder now,
harder to sink my snout
into something real,

^Seems to imply that it is hard for the author to find something meaningful to interest her (sink my snout), though the wind is high (thoughts blowing
crazy in her mind, like the wind)

harder to differentiate
in the substantial smog
where my thoughts awoke.
I breathe in fog.
Or is it smoke?

^Suggesting, it is difficult to differentiate whether the awakened thoughts are truly worthy or just smoke (confused), as there is still substantial smog
(pollutants suspended in fog) around. I will attempt a rewording of the above lines to see if it makes the writers thoughts stand out better:

I find it still hard to breathe
in the smog
that arrests my thoughts
as smoke suffocates
my awakened thoughts
suspended in a fog

The overall impact of the poetic thoughts presented here was "average" to this reader, but the composer's skill was definitely evident here. So I cannot deny
that this poem certainly stands out and is stylish and unique, amidst a forest of many good writes this week. (4)

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I don't think I have ever read a poem from a deer's point of view, this writer always stands out to me because of her originality I'm also fond of her structure as she mostly does not divide her poetry into stanza's and makes up for that with her witty punctuation.

I loved how she used "deer in the woods" as a metaphor for feeling out of place

"Lately, the forest is dank
with mussed trees,
leaves fussed and branches
cast askew for better air."

with this she paints the forest and the atmosphere perfectly in ones mind making room for imagination to go wild, and with the forest image already painted, she sets the mind ready to incorporate the deer as she follows with "I've been tiptoeing here:"
its so vivid.

"though the wind is high
in the old oak trees and
the fur of my
neck still stands thick
in the breeze,
I find it harder now"

here is the usual cliche of life, some things remain the same, but somehow we change and start looking at them differently she ends this beauty with ;
"I breathe in fog. Or is it smoke?" to illustrate cluelessness or more like doubt..all in all this was beyond original, and beyond amazing, I can't help but re-read and notice something more to love each time
though the playfulness of the words may distract you a little bit if you dig deeper and look beyond an animal tiptoeing in a forest you'll find that this is a really vulnerable , heartfelt write.. one just has to strip it off the metaphors and see what lays beyond.
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Tails
By Lebanese Phoenix (4+7)=11

I just had to vote for this one this week, it was short yet not at all simple and I just loved the uniqueness and brilliance of the wording and message, that we are all demons in our own ways and carry them with us, but sometimes some of us have more to fight for and more demons to kill(4)

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Another superb figurative piece of art by LP, using his creative imagination, that again impressed me this week, both by its content and form. I interpret
tails and horns in this poem, as being metaphorical for "display of wealth (or knowledge)" and "arrogance", eking from both ends. It seems to me that his expression "tails dragging behind them" is representative of the ugliness of character or form, by the public display of wealth (or knowledge),
an act of showmanship, which I agree would irk many. The concluding stanzas:

There was a time
when I used to imagine
that people would only
develop tails
and drag them behind,

but lately,
they've been growing
horns, too...
impress upon the reader, that not only some people love to display their fortunes/knowledge as "tails dragging behind them", but are displaying their
"horns" (= arrogance of wealth/knowledge up front), as an act of intimidation towards others. And, I agree with LP, it is sometimes "sickening." This scenario,
of showmanship, is perhaps more evident in the developing and the Arab world perhaps, than in the developed world (Western world) today. The use of tails and horns here in the context used, reminds me of the use of adynation (= Greek origin word,
depicting powerful hyperbole in which the exaggeration is so great that it refers to an impossibility). But, as LP has proved time and again, impossibility of expressions is not in his dictionary. (7)

**************Honorable Mentions

Lonely December
by Screamin demon (10)

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Ipad
by Kiko(10)

This poem feels like prose to me, but the form detracts from that a bit so that it doesn't feel too much like a story. The imagery is simple but
it is very grounding. It invokes a feeling of pity but also shameful thankfulness. As usual, Kiko, your work is very powerful. Bravo bravo and bravo! (10)

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Mosaic By Britt

This poetess rocks short poetry! And this piece was no exception, I loved how the title holds no clue to the content, really intriguing way to title a poem. I also love the use of Mosaic and the favourite line from a previous poem that was added in there.
It was really well penned with a great flow and emotion, not overly sad but just enough to get the thoughts rolling (10)

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Hidden stage of grief
By Lioness

I don't often get teary in poems but this reminded me of my nan, when she passed away, and the ways I felt and how I felt about myself and my life, Not only that it had a flow that was flawless and gentle with that tone of sadness and grief that really made the poem (7)

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Young love
by Yaki (7)

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Bud, Bloom and Bury
by sibyllene (7)

Stanza 1 had me hooked. Stanza 2 was a little bit lofty but well put together. I especially liked line 4: how you began with a preposition.

It just sounds so nice for some reason.
What I really enjoy though, is how the final two stanzas are parallel and although they end the poem very well, they don't fully close the thought off. It's as
though the piece could go on a bit longer but doesn't have to. (7)

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If only I would've listened
by Bliss (4)

"As dawn's whisper
plants a kiss"

I tend to have something for poems that start with a certain part of the day it kind of sets a certain emotion to match that specific time, and sets the atmosphere.

"our last embrace lingers
a crippled record
we forgot to foster"

I adored the use of "foster" here, I like this stanza best out of the whole poem simply because its so cleverly worded.. this had me thinking of being cut short. how the embrace should've been, could've been, so much more but the lovers didn't work at it and left unfinished business lingering somewhere.

"Chances deemed as aloof"
^
genius.
I can't find much to say, this like most poetry explains a situation that happens atleast once in every
ones life, and although this seem to be about two lovers, well almost lovers. you could just sip the meaning from behind it and understand that it is about
missing chances and then accepting that there is no use in torturing yourself....

the diction wasn't heavy,but it wasn't simple either
there were some words here and there that you don't see everywhere the impact of this poem was huge, and that ending just keeps echoing in my mind.
well done!(4)
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Water
by William (4)

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Spring Cleaning
by Dixiedais (4)

I think what struck me about this poem was the perfect portrayal of bitter resentment that a person can feel toward another. The voice of this poem is unmistakable and that makes it powerful - the confidence and clarity of each line is impressive in my eyes.

Something else that caught my eye after a few reading was the schizophrenic theme. The narrator spends her time making this other woman seem untouchable - a cheerful, creative person who likes colors and spices that are too bright and exotic for
the narrators tastes. In the end, however, she shines through with her poetic skill, something that is at times completely incomprehensible by people.
I liked that a lot. Nice write! (4)

Thanks for reading;
NaaaaNaaaaaaaaaa

Congrats winners/HMs and thank you for the HM! :)

Congratulations to all the winners and HM's this week!!!

Congrats to the winners and HM's :)

Congratulations & thank you, judges.
though people don't see the behind-the-scenes hair pulling, they should know how much they owe to Nana for making this contest look like it runs so smoothly. Thanks!

Congrats all!

Wow! all 3 of my favorite reads topped the charts this week. I should have played the lotto this week, as the judges seem to have read my mind.

So many great writes again this week. Congratulations to all the winners, HM's and all the nominees for the Poetic Oscars.

Though people don't see the behind-the-scenes hair pulling, they should know how much they owe to Nana for making this contest look like it runs so smoothly. Thanks!

^^

haha, Lol "hair pulling"..true :P

Congrats to all the winners and the Hm's..

Thank you I am very suprised.

Congratulations Narph and LP. Each deserving, I feel very honored to share the front page with both of you.

I do have a question I hope the mods and Janis could help me out on.
The comments from the judges are lost to the pages of the members forum once they are judged. I would hate to lose these wonderful comments and though I know the judges are to remain anonymous, is there something that could be done to place the comments on our accounts without revealing the judge. Not trying to get the mods anymore work but perhaps have the mod account paste the comments on our poems. I know I could go back in and put it on under my own name under comments but I think it would be better to have it under the mod account or something. Even if it says like posted for a judge, judge # 2 or whatever. I really wish I could praise these comments, though I don't know quite how that would work either.

any help would be great. Thanks

Judges can post their comments after their terms are over, I heard.

I understand that but not all do and not all want to be recognized at the end of their term and quite frankly not all remember to go back and post their comments after their term. I was a judge and never thought to go back and post my comments once my term was over. I just think it would be nice to still reflect over the comments of what the judges thought. But it's certainly not a big issue, there are bigger fish to fry for sure.

Congratulations to all the winners and HM's!!!

Also to the judges for your kind words!

and of course Nana x :)

Well done all!

x

Kudos to you, second judge for being the only person who approached the real meaning behind TAILS. I wasn't sure anyone would.... I'm overwhelmed with your analysis.

And thanks also first judge for your comment :)

-

Congrats fellow winners and every other HM.

And... Nana, girl you're amazing even when your hair is pulled!!<3

Haha, thank you 3aboudie :$

Congrats everyone

'Grats to all winners and HMs!

What Jordan said! Thanks, judges.

The judge who voted for me (thanks, by the way!) might be interested to see how I edited my poem since they've voted. I think it feels more complete, now.

Congratulation Winners and HM

Congrats to the winners & HMs this week, very deserving!

Thanks Judges & Sunshine flower!

Update:
the following comments were added; the judge sent them before, but I only found the pm today XD sorry about that :]

Andromache
by Garrick Allan 10 points

I was drawn to this poem on first read. at times I find Greek mythology hard to follow, so I liked the way you related this part of the tale, which I found easy to understand. This poem was fluid mature and well worded, with the last stanza finished strongly, capping off a strong poem, if I have one criticism it maybe the over use of "So long ago" otherwise well done. And apologies for taking so long to post this

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Young love
by Yaki 7 points

A lovely poem and one I couldn't go past this week, which wasn't an easy task with 46 poems to select from I can tell you. I loved the message which was simply conveyed but very effective. It wasn't overly sugar coated with metaphors or flowers and moons and stuff, yet struck a chord that was heartfelt and real... the last two lines were delivered beautifully and were the crux of the piece, well done. Apologies for not being able to post this comment sooner

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Water
by William J 4 points

A creative write that is very open to interpretation from a poet I'm not that familiar with. The piece flows beautifully from beginning to end. It gives the reader a gist that echo's of what's within, and for me that was just enough. I'm not into long winded critiques dissecting and interpreting this and that, and with this poem that's not necessary, I just like it, well done Apologies for not being able to post this comment sooner

Thanks for the win. :)
Good job everyone.