The ex..

With your exes,
Do you regret ever being with them, or wish things had happened differently?

Or do they seem to keep coming back into your life no matter how much you say leave me alone?

^^^
I have that problem. My ex won't stay out of my life, lies saying I broke up with my gf when he didn't, and trying to see me despite me having a boyfriend. I hate it when they can't let go and you tell them to back off yet they never do!

First off. Every experience in life makes you who you are today. That's why I never regret anything. Second, this scenerio can be hard. There's an extraordinary story behind this, but I'm actually friends with my ex. He still, however, has strong feeling for me, seeing how I was the one who broke up with him. It can be awkward and tense at times. And then the guy before my ex seems a lot like your guy, which I completely understand your frustration in this scenario.

I think in the end you need to set clear limits. He probably comes back because he believes that he will be able to convince you time and time again that what he is saying is true. I don't know the whole story, but you need to be explicitly clear what you want.Perhaps he keeps coming back because he sees your not sure what you want. Ask yourself what you want, and then ask what's best for you. If you do that, you might end up answering your own question.

I was just saying what happens with my ex.

& just asking what other people have experienced with their exes & etc...

I've made it clear to my ex I don't want him. I have an amazing boyfriend and he is aware of that. Just some people never get the hint & keep trying. I have set clear limits, hes just a persistent one. Realized what he did, but has yet to see he won't get me back. Like i said, some people just never learn u know? I ignore him now, I just hope he stops because if he doesn't I'm changing my number haha.

I'm friends with some of my exes. But like you said it can be awkward especially when they still have feelings for you.

I think if these guys did something to you, for you to break up with them then i think they deserve it and keeping in touch with them does not help your cause if your trying to move on.

yes sometimes its difficult to let go, but if they had at least one cell in there brains they should of known what they or he was doing. in my opinion i think its not worth looking a the face that betrayed you.

I agree with you completely!

I don't even have his cell number. He calls me off blocked and we were just friends, which I was fine with at first. But then he kept calling me saying i love you and i miss you and i messed up. & he actually realized he messed up. But if hes gonna start lying to me about breaking up with his gf and trying to see me when he knows I have a boyfriend... he really needs to leave me alone.

Nope, anybody that broke your heart will do it again & anybody who leaves an amazing person for a person who broke their heart... its a huge mistake.

I agree with both of you completely! The biggest issue with my ex is that he was eight and a half years older. I realized in the end we would both not give each other what we needed so I broke it off instead of investing more years of my life to something that wouldn't last.

^^And changing your number sounds like a good idea. You know you have someone who you love and is good for you. If he doesn't get that yet, he's a lost case.

Lol i didn't mean if he had your cell number, what i was implying is the fact that did he even have a one brain cell in his head to notice or acknowledge what he was doing, in terms of cheating on you etc.

he called you off a blocked number and he still had a girlfriend as well O_o, wow who is this Shakespeare i'd like to meet him lol, you wouldn't want to keep any ex numbers if they hurt you in the past as its just a waste of time.

..............But in saying that would you still keep the number of an ex if you both ended the relationship on mutual terms, i don't think it would be awkward

Exactly! Like let me go already haha
He knows I have a boyfriend yet he continues to call.

I don't know his number, I deleted it a long time ago. But yeah... He doesn't really love her. He just hates being single & likes to have someone who he can control which wasn't me.

He never cheated on me actually. But hes an idiot if he thinks I'd ever take him back haha.

Mutual terms.. Not really. But when I've made it clear and clear I want nothing to do with him and he continues on... hes to persistent for something that will never happen again.

Weird that this went all about my ex, when that wasn't my intention lol I don't answer the phones calls anymore, and if he keeps calling or calls one more time I'm changing my number haha :)

& at last hope. Yeah thats understanding and hopefully he understand that

Mutual terms in regards to you both ending the relationship because you wanted to focus on your careers or you get a job and a long distance relationship wouldn't work out but you still love and care for each other.

even when you know that you might not get back together but in some way you would want to know if that person was still doing alright as your slowly moving on.

yeah i'd say change your number A-SAP, and i do have to say he sounds like a loser with a capital L hehe lol

I know what mutual terms means lol I was saying mutual terms yeah you can be friends wout it fully awkward; but if it was a bad term not so much.

And yeah that's understandable and I always wanted to see if he was okay. But if he's gonna keep lying to me even when we're just friends? I don't want a friend like that. Im bein nice and I shouldn't for what he did to me and he should be glad I'm not bein mean. I don't deserve to be lied to for no reason especially tryin to get in between of my boyf by tryin to see me. NO thanks haha

And oh I want to! And he is lmao
But my boyfriend is on sea and wouldn't be able to know I changed it, so can't change it till he gets on land haha

Hehe i think a guy or girl shouldn't have the need to lie to the other as it just makes things more difficult in the long run and in the relationship in general.

yeah you might have to wait a little longer for your bf to get back on land then change your number but would that not make your new bf suspicious into why your changing your number or would he more or less understand why?

Relationship should be all about honesty. Lying is just plain stupid lol Lying makes you not trust your partner, and if yall dont trust eachother. The relationship has no hope.

Oh no. He trusts me completely :).
When he called me,(my bf) It came up as unknown since he was on ship. And when my ex calls it always comes up blocked, but i wasn't sure if it just came up differently this time. BUt i answered and yay it was my boyfriend! and I was like i thought you were my ex, and he was like he better not be calling you, and I was like i hope he stops and if not Im changing my number and he understood.

But idk... Itd be funnier having my ex call and call and me ignore each one. lol

Yes, its all about honesty and also communicating with each other as well in terms of knowing how you feel about each other and if there's anything on your mind that you want to discuss with your partner...etc

do you know what would be even more embarrassing for your ex, if you told him to stop calling you in front of his gf o_O lol

Yup I agree 100% and if you don't then it won't work.

And ha yeah but he lives in a different state. I did email him and I'm sure his girlfriend will see it :). She's a child and naive and he controls her. It's hilarious. I dont like her, she talks to much crap when she doesnt know he stillcalls me. But hey I'd be jealous/insecure if my boyfriend still loved someone else too hahaha

But if I lived there I so would :). Lol.
I want nothing to do with him or her tho. He wants to date someone who Is just old enough to get her license when he's turnin 23, go for it. Just as long as he leaves me alone :)

O_o wait hold on he lives in a different state, have you ever seen this guy in person or did you live in the same area at the time etc

NOTE: if your with a guy and you know he still loves someone else, i don't think you should be in a relationship with this person any more lol

oh.......is that why you guys broke because you weren't old enough to get your license hehe lmao i'm sorry can't but help say that lol, i really don't see what you actually seen in this guy, what your telling me about him makes me laugh and think he must be a comedian and all the jokes are on him hehe =)

Lol I knew him.
How I met him was my best friend since kindergarten lives in the same town as him. I went up there for her 18th bday and met him and it was love at first sight. Man I should have taken a serious 2nd look lmao but I ended up moving there. Moving back home was my best choice ever lol

That wasnt about me haha I would never get involved w someone who loves someone else. Ur just asking to get hurt.
I meant my ex still loves me and I understand his gf being insecure bcuz if he was happy w her he wouldn't be callin me and be back on drugs. My boyfriend loves me :) so I got lucky this time lol

And haha oh shut up im 20 this year.
My exs new gf is a child. He can control her which is what he tried to do with me but failed. And idk either hah but he was the first person that I let into my heart in the 5 years after my mom died. He has some good to him, but bad overpowers it

Hint why he's an EX lol and my boyfriend is nothing like him :)

Yeah, you don't have to worry about him any more so its ok or that bitch he's with hehe lmao, that had to be said to sum everything up

oh your turning 20 this year, when is your bday and what are you going to do or expecting?

Hahaha yeah. He wants me but never again, so why not w stay w someone he can control? Haha

And oct. and nothing much, ive never been into celebrating. Just wanna be with my boyfriend and best friend and I'm good :)

Someone he can control?......hmm maybe so he can make her do things for him or buy him stuff, i think it could be a sexual preference as well (more of a booty call maybe o_O).

oh October, 2 months before mine. yeah as long as your spending it with the people or person most important to you then you will have a colorful day lol :)

I regret being with my latest cause he ruined alot of my friendships but the rest am still friends with so ya

No, I don't mean sexual stuff. More as of,
he likes to control, who you text, who you are friends with. Doesn't want you to have any guy friends. Hates if you dress down sometimes. Tries to control your every move. Crap like that. With me, I wouldn't let it happen :). But I really could care less about my ex.

I don't like talking about him haha

And yeah i understand you there girl! The way some guys treat girls... but yes same goes for the way girls treat guys lol

Ok enough about the ex, i'm getting tired talking about him and i don't even know him as well O_o hehe

here is a intriguing question, do you know any girl who has broken a guys heart by cheating on him?

...

Honestly....much as I still cringe and am still trying to forget some of the relationships I've been in...no, I can't honestly say I regret any of them, bad as most of them were. They all taught me things about people, life, myself and helped me grow.

Sometimes, yeah, I wish I could go back and change it so I never met some of them or did something different but if I did then I wouldn't be who I am today or have the man I do in my life because my past relationships and all the crap they put me through turned me into the woman he needs and loves.

I wouldn't take back a moment of the lying, cheating, tears, pain, harshness, fear, scarring or laughter even if I could, they all made me a much stronger person. There's never a mistake in life, simply a new lesson and another chance to grow.

And do they keep coming back?....hahaha Yes they sure do. Took me 4 years to finally get one to see I was never going to date him again (especially since I was with someone else those whole 4 years the ex wouldn't get the clue), ex's are like a virus, they just keep coming back and making you sick lol

^^^
hahahaha i completely agree!!
Thats how my ex is, he keeps coming back. Lately he hasn't called, but its only a matter of time till my phone rings.

And I agree with you about not changing anything because it made you who you are today.

What I've been through with my exes, made me not deal with anything anymore and not give 2nd chances. Kinda changed me for the worse lol

Life is full of experiences not all of them pleasant or enjoyable. But more often then not there's some sort of lesson that a person can bring to our lives. It can often highlight character strengths and weaknesses. Be it if you're too trusting, or an amazingly caring and supportive person.

My past ex's all helped me achieve where I wanted to go in life and help me understand who it was exactly that I wanted to be with. What my ideal partner was and what things I was willing to budge on and what things were truly not ok in my life. The pain was bad at times, in the moment it always is. BUt it makes us who we are and helps us to grow in various ways.

We also all have control who we let back in our lives and who we don't. I find we often at times make excuses for why someone won't 'leave' us alone or be 100 % out of our lives. I find that people make it far more complicated then it has to be and often at times are their own worst enemy in the moving on part of break ups. "Oh we can be friends." Let me tell you, you can never go back to being friends. Its a phesod that ex's put up so that they truly don't have to let go of the possibility of a 'future' get together. Being 'just friends' is cruel and can often lead to even more heartach and possibly leading a person on. It rarely ends well. The ability to let go while hard is probably one of the most rewarding experiences you'll ever do for yourself. Completely let go.....

If someone won't move on from you, well there's nothing you can do about that. You can't control someone elses emotions or their inability to stop making it more complicated then it really is. All you can do is continue to cease all contact. If you get a call from a strange number don't pick up. If this person calls from your friends phone then express how upset you are that your friend would do that and proceed to delete that number as well. YOu should never pick up a call to a phone number you don't know or don't already have programmed into your phone. By picking up part of you already knows who it is, or part of you knows there's a chance. To eliminate this you have to ensure you know who's calling you. If this person continues to try and find creative ways to 'contact' you, then I'd start possibly seeking a restraining order as that is considered stalking. (Provided you've on numerous occasions asked that this person stop contacting you.) if they make you feel uncomfortable then you need to voice this and if it's persistent then I think it's time to talk with your parents, or contact the local police to file a restraining order.

I agree with you on that.

My ex wanted me in his life, but I just couldn't do it. And once I agreed to it, he still kept lying to me and I don't want a "friend" like that.

My ex finally stopped calling, At least hasnt in a while. I only answer unknown calls bcuz it's my boyfriend who is in the marines. But when it's blocked or my exes area code I now ignore it. Makes me laugh he still calls.

Letting go is truly one of the hardest things to do but like you said it can be the best thing you've ever done. But some people just keep holding on, I understand they might still love you but when you've made it clear your in a relationship, and they still continue to call it's aggravating. I'm debating changing my number if my ex calls me again.

Love sure does make you nuts lol

Do you regret ever being with them, or wish things had happened differently?

There were two guys one when I was 18 and the other when I was 19 who I regert. Neither of them were boyfriends but I did things with both boys that I regert (not as far as sex). I have my regerts because I let my low self-esteem get in the way I was falttered by their attention but looking back the attention they gave me wasn't because they really liked me it was because I was willing to let them walk all over me. Deep down I knew they were taking advantage of me and I wasn't strong enough to stand up for myself and put them in their place.

Now things are very different and I would never let anyone treat me like those boys did. I have regerts but I can be ok with them because I learned from them.

Ruby Red Memories, right there with you. The one guy in my past I regret, even though I still walked away from the situation with him wiser and having grown, told me he loved me but I knew I never should've crossed that line. He used me, hurt me both emotionally and physically and took advantage of me. You make mistakes when you don't think you deserve better. We managed to get our friendship back to a point and although I never dated him we went to far and he's the one guy I do regret not being strong enough to walk away and say I deserved better. I learned a lot about myself from him though

/es i agree! its like the more u tell them to go away the more they stay lol and they dont understand :/ just ignore him im sure he'll get the hint

I still think about my ex from time to time..i dont htink love genuily dies coz the flame is always there in your heart, you just need a spark thats all...

Aww very true :]

Not all guys if you ignore them get the hint sadly. My ex is one of those guys. I can tell him your dead to me and he still calls later on lmao

I think when its your first love, you will always love them. But not be IN love with them.