Weekly Winners 3/13/2012

The first week, for the new team of judges! Keep your energy guys, and your commitment! Thanks for everyone's effort :)

note: one of the judges, couldn't make it so you'll see 3 missing comments.

Votes:

For you and I Lonely Rider 10+4
Lonely Mountain Silvershoes 7+4
Invisible Woman Ana Stephens 4+10

Simple Reverie by The Poetess (10)-no comment
I'll Date You With A Butterfly The Poetess (10)
Inspired by Yaki (10)

Battlefield Tara Kay (7)
Artlessly by Mera Luna (7)-no comment
Unsheltered-Jenni (7)
My Africa by Paul Gondwe (7)

Alone -kiko (4)
If Only Beneath My Burka Yaki (4)

Comments:

Lonely Mountain, silvershoes (7)
Amazing poem of despondency seamlessly described. The poet has reached her limit, can move neither up the mountain nor back. Above her lay the challenges of life, behind her the experiences thus far, and within her the accumulated disappointments that weigh her down. It might be a snowball that has rolled down the heights, gathering mass until it has, for her, become an unyielding force. It appears to bring her to the brink of absolute despair, yet the fact she is able to articulate the feeling indicates that she has the capacity to place that first step on the upward slope and, like Sisyphus, carry on through the absurdity.
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4 points, no comment.

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Invisible woman
by Anna Stephens(10)

This poem is loaded with underlying emotion camouflaged by humor. The constant rhyme,reversal of word order (no longer whistles do I hear/ invisible am I when out and about),and meter bring out the musical element. The speaker claims she does not miss the attention she received in her youth ,but I'm not convinced. She 'owns' the title of a wise woman who is marginalized yet she wears a t-shirt (emblazed) that attract great publicity and this poem immortalizes her Visibility. The speaker is visible hence she needs to realise and own the title, Visible Woman.

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Anyone who has doubts as to wisdom and humor each accumulating in elders need only peruse this work to have all uncertainty dispelled. The sheer joy of having left the drama behind is value enough for this poem; but the tongue-in-cheek delivery sends it over the edge as a superlative paean to the triumph of survival. (7)
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For you and I
by Lonely Rider

One of the prettiest and best rhyming poems I've read in some time- This elegant piece is filled with romance, enchanting nature tones and fun, exciting words that dance within each line. Such a flow and rhythm, like a song. I love your word usage as well.

"of smiles dripping with blueberry"
^^^^ love this line!

I can picture two lovers sitting at the piano, with their hearts filled with love, singing along with each other, all goggle-eyed with warm smiles.

I find this really captivating and think it's wonderful how the author got inspired by the beautiful paper piano that she created. What a precious and sweet poem. Well done Lonely Rider (4)

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Thoughts not so random, as they blend into a reverie of nature from the eyes of one whose love opens wonders for others to see and appreciate. The poem takes the reader on a journey down from the sky, to broad views and then to the focus of a single person, reveling in the simple joy of blueberries on a warm afternoon. Finally, the journey continues inward to the comfort of loving memories shared with a confidante. (10)

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Battlefield
Tara Kay

I loved how well it made me feel and honestly I couldn't find anything wrong with it. It had many instances that I could relate to. It was beautiful.

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If Only Beneath My Burka
by Yaki

I loved what this poem was about. I love awareness poems. I believe that although it was about something that should bring attention to us it just doesn't seem to bring me into the poem fully. I dont quite feel captured in it.

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I'll Date You With A Butterfly
by The Poetess

This poem, by far, is my favorite. The way you displayed your imagery, the way you told the story. Breath taking. I feel drawn in, I feel lost in it, then i know exactly where i am in this poem. Beautiful.

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Inspired
by Yaki

I do love inspiration. What is really unique about this poem, is the author is inspired by the mere look of her eye, she then creates this enchanting piece, that allowed me to visualize her dazzling eyes, dancing within a meadow of dandelions. How beautiful is this poem?!?!?! I was swept away by her imagination, and very pretty ways of expression. This poem to me goes even deeper than her eyes. At first I felt as if she only saw gloom, eager for spring and wishing for it, and the sun starts to shine and she is describing her eyes as a dull wooden floor, full of pain and sadness, and as I continued reading ( and I read this several times, because I really was hypnotized by this piece) it continues on, describing the tears ( in a very elegant way I might add) as a symbol. So at first I felt such sadness, but then she twists me in another direction, full of optimism;

"I discovered that
wooden floors
were made to be danced on..
and that tears
were there to polish them.."

Love the positive form of expression within this stanza! At this point I'm saying out loud, "You go girl"
And then the poem starts to dance within a beautiful field of dandelions. Even though she did not see a dandelion, she saw so much more through her beautiful eyes and brilliant imagination. Outstanding poem- Well done Yaki (10)

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My Africa
by Paul Gondwe

I really admire this poem. When I started reading this piece, at first I was inspired by his love for Africa and felt like it should have been placed in life poems, and as I continued reading, I was applauding his decision to place it in the love poem section.
Paul- Your love for Africa and devotion is felt within each line. I have never been to Africa, but you took me there while I was reading this piece, Beautiful and descriptive images danced in my head. This poem brought tears to my eyes, the love you have for Africa touched me deeply.

"I stroke your green crops"
^^^

This line brought me to a time as a child when I would touch the corn stalks within a corn field, feeling the texture of the leaves, and feeling the love I have for where I was raised.
You captivated me, and at the end of this piece, I felt like standing up and applauding! Well done Paul (7)

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Unsheltered
by Jenni (7)

writer 'paints' a vivid picture of the plight of street children throughout the poem. The title echoes throughout the poem through the use of strong adjectives(chapped/lost/devouring) to appeal to our senses . The children are 'unsheltered' and exposed to bad weather,pollution,abuse and disease. The poet intentionally uses short lines interrupted for emphasis to highlight the urgency/serious situation depicted in the poem.

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Alone
by kiko (4)

The poet gives clear picture of the context in which this emotion(title) is experienced. It's probably the loss of a loved one which leaves the man 'alone' and grieve-stricken since he 'has no more tears. The imagery(personification/metaphors) focuses on the funeral and physical surroundings and does not always blend well with the title.

I feel very unworthy this week, but thank you for the win. It is appreciated.

Congratulations winners and honorable mentions (you're all winners in my book). Some amazing poetry to choose from this week! Well done, as always.

Big thanks to Nana for managing this thing. It's a lot of work, especially since people are subject to inconsistency :)

I'm a little confused about the judge who is not feeling the poem, then why on earth would you vote for it?...

but thank you anyways, it was a very hard week indeed.. I was going through the nominations..

And was like PHEW! (Okay,joke..I said something worse...but its too xtreme for the main board :X..)

thank god, I'm not a judge.

Congratulations everybody! nice job!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

To all the winners and HM's!!!

Thanks lovely Nana :)

x well deserved all.

Congrats everyone ! Well done

Will the judge who hasn't commented so far be adding their comments later?

Congrats all BTW!

Congratulations to the winners and HMs. These were awesome poems, a heck of an introduction to the process for new judges. Hope you keep up the intensity.

Thanks, Nana, for your consistent energy!

Oh lala thanks guys, :) it's my pleasure.

Jane, stop being humble, the poem is amazing!

As for Hellon, I am not sure, however if the judge ever send the comments, I will update the thread.

Congrats again everyone, keep the good work coming

Umm..week one...that is the first week of the new panel and one judge has already absconded....surely everyone will be calling this one out...besides me...I hope?

Already replaced

Good...and I hope it's a permanent judge and not one of those stand ins that we ended up having when Yaki left before her judging term was over....if you get my drift?

Congrats winners and thanks for the HM :)

Hellon: It's a new permanent judge. We also have a new system of dedicated sub judges, so mods shouldn't have to vote unless that falls through at the last minute as well.

Thank you very much for the HM.

Congrats to all the winners and other HM's
xxxx

Thank you, thank you, thank you and congratulations to the other winners and HM's.

Wtg everyone

Hugs Anna, loved your poem

Congrats to all!

Thank you all and congratulations!

Thanks a lot :) and congratulations :)