Winners 3/20/2012

Congratulations everyone!

Votes:

I am not a poet
by Natusha (10+10)

You are Everything I write
by Melpomene (10+4)

An Honest Assessment
by Silvershoes (7+7)

Spring in my Pocket
By Tara Kay (10)

My hands
by Hellon (10)

Virgin
By TJ BECKER Arizona Eagle (7)

Virgo:The Sardonyx Jewel
by Holly Armer(7)

Wine and Everything else
by Sib (7)

Ich bin ein Auschlander
by Mr. Jordan (4)

Back Then
By Lostlove1 (4)

Ignite the flame
by Acoustic Odyssey(4)

If only beneath my burka.
by Yaki (4)

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Comments:

I am not a poet
by Natusha

What a gem came out of the slang section this week. Of all the poems submitted this week, I gave first place points to I am not a poet, by Natusha. The imagery she creates when she describes dancing with words is FANTASTIC but the universal message that lies within the poem, ever greater. The flow was right on, starting off slow then grabbing my attention refusing to let go. I am looking forward to many more great poems from this new member.

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I loved this poem, I was captured by the pure imagery you put in it. I could feel everything and understand that...
You may not be a Poet, but your by darn the best dancer i've ever seen.

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You are everything I write

I really love this poem. Acrostics are often very choppy and have poor flow, but I was extremely impressed by how the poet crafted the lines such that they matched the form without compromising the meaning and flow of the poem. I also loved the title... the gravity of meaning behind being "everything I write" is truly beautiful to me (it is neither good nor bad, it is all emotion and all experience). Although I'm still confused by the first stanza (particularly the "twin to the universe we saw at that very moment"... what universe? What was the meaning of the moment?) the rest of the poem carried very well, and the intertwining of map symbolism and star symbolism was unexpected but very beautiful. You spoke not only to your life here in the moment and grounded those thoughts with references to real places (Sydney, for example) but you also extended your range to the universe and Venus. The subtle sadness in this piece speaks most to me, though... there's a creeping sadness behind your imagery, such that the pictures you define lead to multiple emotional impressions for the reader, and I think that's probably what caught me most about this piece. What does it mean to have roadmaps on your skin? What does it mean for your words to rust? I love these lines in particular and I know this piece will enchant and inspire me for a long time coming.

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I wasn't expecting such a well written acrostic when they seem to be the hardest poem ever to nail down the flow, structure (in terms of how it looks, short and long lines), and feeling.
I am impressed

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An Honest Assessment
by Silvershoes

I am always excited to see a new poem from this poetess. I gave my second place point to Silvershoes for her poem An Honest Assessment. Love poetry is really tricky to write without sounding cliche and sappy. I like the way she begins her poem by telling of what he is NOT (instead of "he is the sun and the moon kind of thing") with such details that I can see him too. She continues and shows us what he is like physically (stretch marks and sleepy eyes) and finishes with what he is INSIDE which is beautiful in itself. Jane wrote a down to earth piece of love poetry that I thoroughly enjoyed!

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This was an adorable poem, it was one of those poems where i went awe and thought it was very adorable. The way you described him I could tell how much you cared and i could get that feeling from it.
I almost felt like I was dating him and that it was a love poem written for him by me. I loved it

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Spring in my Pocket
by Tara Kay

I fainted when I read this nature gem! I really love the descriptive and visual display within this poem. It made me feel like getting lost, under the sun, as if all of it's glory and beauty are right within the safety of a pocket. Holding on to all of its elegance. This title is so creative, unique, soft and sweet- The ending stanza allowed me to feel the optimism of nature- and the unique way she describes the ending stanza just made me want to gobble up spring! What a delightful piece- I could actually see the stars falling into springs pocket. The title is so precious, love the title! Beautiful poem. Well done Tara Kay- (10)

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My hands-Hellon (10)

My interpretation of this poem suggests it to be a journey of discovery. It is an expression of the speaker's personality since 'hands' are 'close' to the brain. In stanza 1 she refers to the physical expectation of having small delicate fingers 'to wear rings'. Her fingers are not thin and long 'they never grew with me' , so not ideal for playing piano ,'yet I bought a piano'( The poet defies the physical expectation of gender stereotyping ) perhaps her hands are not proportional to the rest of her body and similarly her life is not balanced completely as she journeys through life. In stanza 5 she realizes the practical side of her life and significance of her hands for physically manipulating the environment "I squeezed the pulp ........tomato.....". She discovers and experiments as she 'shovels' through life . In the end she discovers and embraces her connectedness / relationship with mother earth-her purpose in life

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Virgin
by TJ BECKER Arizona Eagle

What a nature beauty! The author describes what nature Is: beautiful, innocent, and untouched- Love the title! This piece is elegant, soft and just breathtaking. What is more pure than a waterfall? I can visualize the water fall flowing and ending in an enchanting pond. The mixture of stars and lilies dancing made ME feel like dancing... the entire nature scene is right in front of my eyes as I'm reading. The Poet simply dazzled me... and left me feeling peaceful. I truly felt like I was in paradise, well done TJ- (7)

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Wine and Everything Else

I had to read this poem a good three of four times before I understood it, and I'm really glad I did. I don't think it's any fault of the poet that I was confused, but I do think that this poem pushes a lot of inferred meaning into not so many words, and for someone who reads poems quickly, the lack of full description can leave the reader a bit confused. That said, I really love the sparseness of this piece. The overall feel of this piece is so true to anyone who has experienced that sort of quiet unknowing love... and the inclusion of wine in this piece, with all the frailty it brings on the drinker was truly lovely. Another beautiful piece by this poet... very nicely done.
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Virgo:The Sardonyx Jewel -Holly Armer(7)

The poet uses short lines and choice of words to ensure a smooth flow throughout the poem. Virgo traits are outlined in each stanza and elaborates on the title. Considered a' shy lady' the word 'modesty' is quite apt and the simile is very effective in emphasizing this trait. The 'sardonyx jewel' promotes this image. Overall the poem combines the practical and intellectual in Virgo .

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Back Then
by Lostlove1

What a wonderful poem!
The author of this magnificent piece, took me back to a time within my own life...back to the early days when poetry was written In the dark... getting drunk off of the pure innocence of poetry. I really like how she gets to the core of true poetry... the "In Your face" stanzas... Oh how I love each and every line of this poem.. This poem is much more than reminiscing the simplicity and purity of poetry... Its deep- She took me back to why a person writes and how poetry can be tainted and sold, manufactured as art, making it feel cheap- I may be reading more into this, but this is how I interpret this poem. I'm in awe and the ending stanza says it all-

"Back then-
when we could still feel...
it was so much easier to write. "

^^^ It doesn't get any better than this!
Well done Lostlove1- (4)

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Ignite the flame-Acoustic Odyssey(4)

Poem in general adheres to form of kyrielle and flows well with the repetition and rhyme scheme.( I'm not sure whether 'faux pas' rhymes well with 'flaws') The first line is powerful beginning to address a human being ' charming creature of mortal skin' and carries a profound message in the repetitive' don't deny the beauty within' -----the essence of being is to find the beauty within.

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If only beneath my burka
by Yaki

Third place points went to Yaki for her poem If only beneath my burka. If this poem doesn't open your eyes to the injustice of women over there, nothing will. It was a really strong piece that brought out almost every emotion I have. Yakis poem gave the women of that country a voice-
well done Yaki!!!

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Ich bin ein Auschlander
by Jordan

Well, I don't speak German, so this threw me for a loop? I suppose that confusion only contributed to the piece. To be honest, it is a confusing piece, but as a piece of surrealist poetry, it works quite well. I enjoy how this piece starts directly in as a story being told, and then gets straight to the action. You gave the reader no way of comprehending what was going on to influence stabbing yourself, you only gave us the facts of what happened as and after you did it. The rest of the poem continues in such a way... there is little to no emotional connection, but the interest of the story and the imagery you produce kept me intrigued and curious. I think I love this poem because it played most vividly in my head and didn't end remotely how I would have expected. Nice work.

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If there's anything that's missed, please do notify me. Thanks, congrats again winners and H'ms, splendid!

The poem with the highest score has... the shortest comment.

Can't we comment on judges' comments this round?

honestly, I think I'm finding them so very poor and unworthy of being read (compared to the previous batch of judges) because all what they say (I'm pointing at the poem with the highest score) is: beautiful imagery... I loved this poem.... it's great....

I mean if judges' comments are like this. Why would anyone get annoyed if someone comments on their pieces by: 10/10!! Lof it!

Never thought I'd say this... but I agree with mister above me right here.

Congrats to every one regardless of anything,
great poetry people!

I know Natusha personally and believe me... you people better watch out :)

and thank you for the HM :* :* :*

Congrats winners, I loved them all

and thanks for the hm that is so cool :)

Congratulations, winners & HMs. Thank you judges and the ever capable Nana.

No poems were harmed in the making of this weeks contest: No tie breakers or subs.

Congratulations Winners!

Congrats to all and thanks for the HM! I know my piece was a bit out there...actually, I didn't expect it to get points because of that. :P

I did a break down, specifically for the judge who voted. We should all try this, I think!

Ich bin ein Aushlander (Trans. "I am a foreigner.")

"Some days ago,
I stuck a saw-toothed knife
straight into my mid section.
What sprang forth was
not a fountain of blood,"

This poem is a narrative about suicide, but it's sort of portrayed as a lucid dream. It's more meant to be a suicide of my mental self rather than physical suicide, so surrealism was chosen.
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"no, the dragon king
wouldn't titter watching me die."

The dragon king is another name for Vlad Dracula, aka Vlad the Impaler, who allegedly got much enjoyment out of watching his adversaries die while being impaled on large spikes.
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"Beams of light
of the most peculiar color;
not black,
nor white,
and most certainly
nothing in between."

It wasn't blood that poured from me, but light. This points to the fact that I'm inhuman...something else. The color that cannot be identified furthers this notion.
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"I stumbled out into the garden,
my love was pulling weeds.
She sheathed her spade
and assessed my body,
bathed in what appeared to be
an alien substance, the light
from my body
painted her."

Again, 'alien' light.

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"Staggering back, she smiled;
I reached out to her
but she simply pointed.
"Auschlander," she said."

Funny...
I don't speak German."

She smiled, but pointed and called me a foreigner. this confirms my suspicions that I am something other than human...that I don't belong. The fact that she spoke in German even though I don't was sort of strange even to me, showing that it didn't seem natural and the dreamlike environment was becoming lucid, more realistic.
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"I killed myself that day.
Somehow it was inspiring,"

I've always viewed suicide as a very courageous act, albeit selfish and stupid.
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"although after passing,
I came to realize
there was nobody in the garden."

My body wasn't dead, just my mind (or perhaps it was only a dream?). When I awoke/came to/was reborn/etc., I realized that there was nobody there with me when it happened...and that human contact was simply a figment of my imagination, or that it was simply a dream and that nothing really happened.

Hope you like!

Congrats guys!

Jordan, I really like the idea of having the winners/honorable mentions say something about their work when they get points... A lot of people try to interpret poems (don't get me wrong, this is great) but having the poet describe their own impressions of their work is an entirely different and interesting thing.
I think it'd be awesome if everyone did it. Just sayin'.

:)

Here's a breakdown of my poem:

It's about my boyfriend.

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Thanks for the nominations and votes. Much appreciated. I pulled this poem out of a pile of rubble that was sitting at the wayside for several months. I read it and was struck by my own ability to capture my feelings for Khush. Brushed it up a bit, posted it, and looks like others were pleased like I was with the result.

He really is a wonderful man. Maybe I'll show him the poem, though "he is no Poet," and may not get it like you guys do ;)

Congrats all winners and HM 's ................:)

Congrats all winners and HM's!!!

Nana you legend as usual!!!

x

Thanks all!

Congrats Natusha & Jane! Pleasure sharing the front page with the two of you.

Also a well done to our HMs & thanks to the judges and Nana for your contributions and efforts.

Thanks to Larry and Hellon for pushing me to write an acrostic ;)

Congrats to the Winners

THANK YOU FOR MY HM, and congrats to all the other HM's.

Khush is such a cool name, I had a thing for this Indian guy once.. his name is Paresh..he is stunning omg...

anywhoo, just saying..x0x0