Weekly Winners April 02, 2012

Congrats everybody :] Well done.
Some votes and comments will be added in a short while.

Votes:

Paris
by Melpomene 10+10+7

The Claws Come Out
by Maple Tree 10

Sharp Edges
by TJ BECKER Arizona Eagle 10+4+7

Fistful of Glitter
by Lebanese Phoenix 10

The Scandal
by Karla 7

Imagation
by The Poetess 7

For You
by E Dacaf 4

You Tucked The Lantern
by Lebanese Phoenix 4

Tree Spirit
by Maple Tree 4

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COMMENTS:

Paris by Melpomene - 10 points

This poem caught my eye in part because it's so very different than what I'm used to reading from this poet. It reads like a story, and the lines bleed together almost into a narrative format. I love all of the references. To me, he inclusion of things like Navagio Bay or Narcissus... in a way, the poet asks that the reader educate themselves in order to comprehend the poem, and that sort of work only ever leads to an increased appreciation. I love the start of this poem, "I've heard whispers of Paris lately,
the city of love and some place foreign to me
where a man designed beauty with a tower
and called it art."
This is so striking, a man designing beauty with a tower.... It makes me want to rethink how I view the world and its monuments. Another line I loved: "I guess I thought I was a princess but
Paris fell more remarkably than the London Bridge.
Towers burnt and I haven't been back there since."
There really are no words to describe how lovely this is... how potent it is to the imagination and the emotion of the piece.
All in all, this is one poem that seems to get better each time I read it. Lovely work.
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It's rare to see Melpomene post poetry and not see it up on the front page, and this poem is no exception. Her first few lines draw a reader in, making you wonder where exactly she will go. Does she not think the Eiffel Tower is beautiful? It sounds bitter, like someone has taken her ability to see beauty away. The end of the first stanza proves that indeed it's too beautiful, and brings you into a whirlwind of emotions open to interpretation. She hasn't been to Paris, yet her lover or this man is like Paris to her... the ultimate feeling in love lost. I love the way she writes so highly and then lowly of her characters, as proof she felt like a fool, or was fooled, by someone who promised her fairytales and happy endings, only leaving her to suffer the pieces. I'm a strong believe in "all you need is love" being false, and here

"My reflection is a reminder that a heart is never
enough in the city of love. "

she rings how I've been feeling so true. The way her repetition within her own lines work is beautiful to me, she crafts her words in a way no other than a true artist can. I could go on for days about how gorgeous this piece of poetry is and how easily it can tug on the heartstrings. This poem is absolute perfection."

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Sighs- the author of this piece really has talent beyond the stars and moon in my opinion. She has taken sorrow and sadness and created a poem that can make a rock cry!

The title got me, at first I felt like it was going to be something sorrowful and tragic that happened but as I started reading the poem... I instantly new "Paris" the title itself was a powerful and elegant metaphor... or how I interpreted it to be... awesome title!!

First stanza: Mercy! That first stanza just plummeted me into another dimension... You have a talented way of expressing your feelings towards this person you write about.

"but I will call you
Paris anyway because you are far
too beautiful to be anything else."

^^^ these three line are just wow.....

second stanza: "Paris" city of love and also heart break... within this stanza you make the reader feel your pain and how this person hurt you, within so many ways ....... it's elegance within your words that captivates the reader and allows them to feel the sadness.

"I think I was born to write dreams -
the kind that makes you sleep for hours. "

these two lines, are the heart of the poem in my opinion, and I now think back to those in depth dreams that i have wished for at one point in time.

third stanza: Narcissus: poisonous flower; you are the "rose and he is the weed"( I had to toss my odd analogy in there) ... love the usage of that word... the reader feels the pain, and can feel the loneliness without this person however you also allow the reader to reflect on the negativity of this person and how it will fade in time... but that is difficult to do.

Ending comment: sometimes, written words are the voice of our heart; don't stop writing, for you have mesmerized me with this heartfelt write! - Well done Melpomene (7)
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The Claws Come Out by Maple Tree

Amazing! When we write, each one of our poems holds a piece of our souls and when that poem is stolen, a piece of our soul goes with it. It is as if this thief is trespassing on our innermost thoughts and feelings. You expressed that wonderfully in your poem. I loved the fast pace in the beginning with the buildup and it came to a halt with the word "soul." It allows the reader to stop and try to catch their breath and then continue with the piece. I loved that you didn't write cat and used "feline" instead; sounds so much better and much more creative. There was some lovely alliteration with "demonic dungeon," "scratch, stolen, soul," and your title; that really added a nice touch to the overall poem. I could feel the resentment you felt for you wove it into your words flawlessly. This was wonderfully crafted. (10)

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Sharp Edges by TJ BECKER Arizona Eagle

There was so much power and emotion packed into this compact piece. It was clothed with an ample amount of metaphors which was great! You used each word nicely here without having any fillers. Every word held an important part of your overall poem without anything being wasted or overused. Sometimes people go overboard with fancy words and whatnot, but I love that this poem was raw and stripped of all of that leaving the sheer sense of pure emotion. I LOVE how you branded blood with the color of distrust. How wonderful! Very creative indeed. Doubt and distrust usually go hand in hand. This poem left me with so many questions at the end and left me wondering. What was doubted? What brought on the distrust? Was it all just a misconception? I can go on and on. I like that this poem left it open for interpretation. Great job. (7)

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What a metaphoric delight this poem is! This poem is a sad, metaphoric firecracker that just pops!!

The title says it all and more, and I knew this was going to be a sad and touching piece.

First stanza: the mind is a crazy time bomb that can go off at any moment, hence my reasons for calling this poem a fire cracker. Doubt can harm an imagination, leaving it stagnant and empty. Powerful emotions filled within this first stanza!

Second stanza: Band aids are only temporary... Oh don't you just wish life had a huge permanent band aid that cured all? This stanza was so thought provoking!!

Third stanza: Oh this ending stanza left me with emptiness... distrust and misconception can rip at the heart, leaving the inner "flesh" exposed, for sadness.

Ending comment: I was so drawn to this poem for many reasons, but the main reason is when the author can say so much in so little, it has to be highlighted in my opinion... I loved this piece from start to finish! - well done TJ (4)

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Fistful of Glitter
by Lebanese Phoenix

This poem is mouth dropping! From title to ending line, is so powerful I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to express how this poem affected me, but here goes for trying.

The title: the title alone can make the reader emotional, now that's powerful because it so clearly sums up the poem and oozes creativity-

First stanza: I immediately dropped my mouth. I vision a woman in a dressing room, liquor fumes throughout the room and looking in the mirror she sees all her insecurities. All she sees is darkness.

"the room was lazy" < ----- I vision a cluttered room... love the word usage!

Second stanza: this poor woman grips the readers heart, for she is covered in a smoky room and her past is haunting her.

"In fact, it was bottled in
fancy fragrances on the comptoir. " < -------- to me these two lines captured her tears within bottled perfume... elegant two lines here.

Third stanza: At this point I'm feeling like he is writing about an entertainer, and how she is guarded by her obsessed fans.

Fourth stanza- I think at this point she is realizing with fame comes a price, whereas before she didn't realize what she was bargaining for.

Following stanzas: I'm going to group the following stanzas for I have a lot to say... She's realizing she has given up her true self for fame and the emptiness can be felt within each of the following stanzas.

To sum up my comment: The author of this powerful piece left me speechless and now I get to express my feelings on this piece and why I chose it as my number 10 choice. I felt like he was writing about the rise and fall of Whitney Houston, or many others who have fallen at the hands of fame "Fistful of Glitter" . To have fame, so sparkly and shiny within your grasp can be more than bargained for, and he wrote it in a powerful way. I also feel like he touched on many within this world, who may not have experienced "fame" but at times in their lives where life can be more than they can handle at that moment of time, and that is what amazed me with this poem. I also drifted off to a dark time in my life and could relate to the feelings within this poem. This poem just rocked in my opinion! - Well done Lebanese Phoenix (10)
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Imagation by The Poetess

"Oh the repetition. It seems to be a theme amongst my votes this week, but this was my favorite about 'Imagination'.. it left SO much to your imagination. The way she wrote the same lines with different perspectives and criss crossed wording just made the poem, with such a significant impact in the 'lasting' factor. I particularly liked how there were different stanzas creating so much imagery, where they seemingly seemed polar opposites, and brought them together in a creative and beautiful way. This poem definitely played to many senses, and it's one I've read multiple times. I was torn between this and her Pirating Perfection poem, but the details in the imagery won out here. Wonderfully written!"

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The Scandal by Karla - 7 points

This poem was awesome. The flow of the story in this piece jumps from place to place, but it's such a great snapshot of experience. From the start, the snippet of sensuality followed by this in the second stanza: "She gave her mattress,
her weirdnesses and unconditional love
without thinking.
She put that body in her cot,
lulling, cuddling, warming even
the black stars."
This is so disconnected... She gave her mattress her weirdness, and suddenly we understand the emotional conflict of the individual. The warmth sent to the black stars... all of this is jaw-droppingly lovely. But then the poem turns on the spot and suddenly it becomes oddly specific, there's a date, and then the structure changes.
The poet has played with how she represents to content, deleting spaces and elongated words. In particular, I really love the "I am leeeeeeesbian" phrasing. It's an eye catcher and it makes me want to laugh and applaud all at once, despite how difficult a statement that is to make. Nice work. :)

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Tree Spirit by Maple Tree

What a wonderful nature piece! It was so relaxing and refreshing to read. I just wanted to go sit under a tree and admire its beauty after reading this poem. You described a tree's spirit flawlessly with a breathy use of vocabulary. It just flowed together so nicely and I was just left wanting more of this serene scene. Trees are such majestic parts of nature that people can write books about it and it still wouldn't be enough. You packed it all in a nicely written poem that made me appreciate trees so much more. Loved it!

"breathing a wind chime song
tousled about within a breeze."

^Wow. If I had to pick a favorite part, which would be difficult, this would be it. I could hear the wind chimes in my mind so clearly and I ADORED your use of "tousled." (4)

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4 pts - You Tucked The Lantern by Lebanese Phoenix.

"I've read this a few times now, and each time I get a new feeling of sadness, a new wave of nausea over the heartache brought by this poem. Growing up without the love and affection of a mother is a difficult thing, and growing up you definitely don't know what to do more than to resent them. The metaphors and imagery throughout LP's piece were very strong and they did a very good job at conveying the sheer disappointment he feels towards this woman. I see so many pieces of an attempt at attention, an attempt at once trying to have made things right as normal children try, but to have it shot down amongst self centeredness, it absolutely brought my heart. One of the most heartfelt pieces I've read in a long time, touching and beautifully sad."

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For You by E Dacaf - 4 points

I chose this poem because it surprised me. To be honest, I feel that there isn't much to analyze in this poem, but I love that it's a single sentence, and I also love that each line is an alliteration... I read it almost like a riddle, wondering what the answer is the whole time. At first, I thought the "plagiarize poets" line was a comment on the current PnQ goings-ons, but the addition of "slander suitors" and "mangle men" makes me wonder if there's more. This piece is simple, but it caught my eye and there's no denying that it's definitely a breath of fresh air compositionally.

Ms Sunshine,
please do send me a pm, if I've missed anything.

Thanks everybody. Judges, thanks for everything, keep the commitment, dedication, honesty and organization all in one package ;) please. Without you, this is not possible. Good luck, till "Friday".

Andrea should've won, too.
TJ you the man.

And I can see a big difference from the first week of judging till now in the quality of judges' comments. Awesome depth.

------ The judge who commented on my Fistful of Glitter made me realize things I never did while writing that theme. At first, I started writing about THE BLACK SWAN movie.. but then, I heard a Whitney Houston song on the TV, so unconsciously, the topic changed completely to suit the theme of Untrue Fame.

I am glad you like this, judge, and glad you related that also to not becoming one's self, not just to the diva-themed storyboard.
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* For the second judge also, I'm glad You Tucked The Lantern touched you. It did to me, lol.. I had teary eyes, for I was upset of my own mother. 50 % of that piece is true. It is basically about my greed to thrive and prosper vs. my mother's satisfaction.

Congrats all.
I advise you to read THE SCANDAL by Karla. I think it is invincible this week.

Hey, actually we had a substitute judge come in and cast a tie breaker between the poems tied for third place.
Abed's poem was given additional points by our sub judge.

Congratulations to all!
Comments from sub judge should be coming soon.

Congratulations all!!!

Well deserved wins and HM's!!!

Awesome job Judges and Nana!!!

x

That is a ton of long comments.. oi! Awesome job everyone, congrats winners & hms!

Congratulations Mel, TJ, and Abed!!!! Awesome poems, and congratulations to all Hm's and I also want to say thank you for my two Hms... much appreciated and the comments made me smile... thank you :-)

Congrats everyone. Kite Runners...I am so proud of you guys!TJ and Abed...you are great!

Those were incredible poems you guys! Congrats to all!

Thanks all!

Congrats to Abed & TJ! Also to the HM's & much thanks to the judges for your wonderful comments and all the effort.

Congratulations Mel, TJ & Abed, and to Andrea & the other HMs.
Thanks judges & Nana.

Congrats to all the winners and HM's,

Nana, you do an awesome job compiling all the comments and making the contest run smoothly.
Thanks judges, great comments.

Thank you :) :$

ABED:

This particular poem left so much for the reader to envision. In the beginning I could see a dancer, bartender, club goer, just about anybody falling into these lines.

Abed penned all these lines from beginning to end with precision and elegance.

As we reach the middle where he talks about a diva you realize that he has turned your attention to a certain type of "person of interest" without any force. This part is tricky and can often fell forced. Abed has done wonderful job mastering this turn around without any force or pressure on the reader.

I only gave 4 points to this piece simply because I was a tie breaker; however, I felt as though it deserved more than that.

The writer done a wonder job creating a complex piece; yet making it simple for the reader.

Aww thanks, tie breaker.

And Nana, bless you.

Congrats to all the winners and Hm's..

Congrats all, KR rule! Wtg, guys!

Nana, I adore you! Thanks, mods and judges and tie breakers and nominators and winners and everyone!

Thanks, mods and judges and tie breakers and nominators and winners and everyone!
^

haha that was funny lol

Not meant to be, I swear! What's the funny in it. Silly billy, haha. :P

^ and that was funnier :P lol

LOL