Weekly Winners April, 10, 20122

Thanks for everyone who participated in getting this done, judges, and Mods, your efforts are appreciated. <3

Congratulations winners and H'Ms, great work poets and poetesses.

Two ties were broken this week.

Votes:

I'll sleep when I'm dead
by !!~~!!~!~~1 CHELSEY'S LITTLE BABY!!~~!!~~!~~10+4

River Bed
by Everlasting 10

The Day The Sun Didn't Shine
by Maple Tree 10

Iced Tea
by Maple Tree 10 (+ 7 from the tiebreaker)

Buried Treasure
by E Dacaf 10 (+ 4 from the tiebreaker)

Wooden Spoon
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather 7

Even a crooked smile shines
by Blissful 7

If I Were Thunder
by Poet On The Piano 7

Pretty Illusion
by Timothy 7

Piercing Flesh
by Lioness 7

Play-Dough
by Lioness 4

How To Pirate Perfection
by The Poetess 4

Bricks
by Kuro 4

Times Foreseen (ABC poem)
by Ice Crystals 4

COMMENTS

ANDDDD onnn the TOP list we have

I'll sleep when I'm dead (acrostic)
by CCCCCChhhhhelseyyyyyyyyyy

This poem is intense! What a powerful and in depth Acrostic- the author of this piece has a raw and in your face approach about this subject and I love it! From start to finish, it drew me in and held me captivated.

Title: I like that she chose this saying as a title... Because she brings the saying to life and gives it reality... So many people say this in a sarcastic tone... but the truth of it is, lack of sleep can lead to death and it's not so funny when reality smacks you in the face.

First stanza: I adore this stanza, it confirms the value of sleep, the need to nurture the body, and her ending line "Like stars do when they're not shining" Oh how cute is that saying!!! I sat there and actually said out loud, aw they do sleep, during the day of course, ha ha, but loved this closing line!

Second Stanza: Now the author has explained to me how the insomniac is feeling, very descriptive and allows me a wonderful visual. There is so many distractions that are blocking sleep, and again the ending line just snaps! "Pills on a nightstand stretching out their helpful hands" <- excellent metaphor- I pictured a bottle of sleeping pills whispering "I'm here to help you silly, take me"- and seeing these little hands waving from each side of the bottle...

Third Stanza: Guilt and turmoil can eat away at the mind and within this stanza it sings true... excellent display of word usage here, using whispers again is the mind playing tricks and wearing down the body's natural desire to sleep.

Fourth Stanza: These two lines are powerful... awesome visual display!

Fifth Stanza: Applauds!!! Excellent ending here- I can hear the heart beating fast, see the sweat pouring from the face and feel the turmoil, almost inviting death- Wonderful ending stanza!

Ending Comment: I love acrostics that flow, and hold you on the edge of your seat, and this poem did that and more. I felt like I was actually watching the person fight the demons within and trying to sleep. Now that is powerful word usage right there folks!!!!!!!!!!! - Well Done Chelsey (10)

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I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (Acrostic) by Chelsey - 4 points
As acrostics go, this one's pretty great. As I started to read it, based on the title, I thought it was going to be a deep and torturous look at emotions that could only be quelled with sleep. Instead, I thought it had a subtle cynical humor highlighted by the creeping of more and more disruptive sounds and descriptions. I appreciated that the first part of the acrostic (I'll Sleep) was written essentially without these distractions, the poem was lulling me into a calm stupor as the section of the acrostic would represent. In particular, the imagery of pills stretching their hands to the sleeper was great. I think the third stanza is beautiful. "Whispers tortuously dancing on the inside of the eardrum/Hoping they'll realize soon, it isn't an instrument" was great, too. I think my favorite part of this piece the train engine rattling though the neighborhood. It added such a sensory feeling to the piece and really placed the poem.

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Buried Treasure
by E Dacaf

Once held dear, I dazzled brightly.
Over many hands I slowly faded.
Even brightest jewels wont shine,
With dirt upon their hides.
Forget me in the sand,
bury me in empathy.
Im buried treasure.

This is indeed a buried treasure among many treasures and I just happened to relate to this neat little package of wisdom (10)

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Iced Tea by Maple Tree - 10 points
This poem is awesome. I read it once and had to read it through a few more times because it was so heartfelt and captivating. There are a few things in it that could probably use some editing (something far more deeper than darkness, for instance, or the tone from time to time), but I found that despite those things this poem stuck in my mind more than any other piece this week. It started in a way that didn't tell me anything about the end, but by the end, especially after "So love please tell me, how am I supposed to swallow/the fact that your cancer has ignited like fire once again,/and will soon take the one person that truly believes in me?" This is the heart of the poem, and the fact that the rest of it sort of just flows around it makes it stick out like a rock in a stream. The emotion and the information of this one stanza grounds the rest of the poem and while I think it's the most important part, it wouldn't be nearly as powerful if it tried to stand on its own.

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River Bed
by Everlasting

I LOVED how you opened it. As if you were writing a letter to someone or merely telling them your hopes and dreams. Perfect. I loved the structure of your poem; how you were telling this new love all you want them to do for you such as promise to be by your side through everything and grant you children and later grow old with you. It is something we all wish for, don't we? Having that special one by our side for eternity. You expressed that wonderfully here. Great choice of words in "allude, succumb, and plant;" it adds an alluring vibe to your poem and I loved how you tied them all together in your fourth stanza.

"...until we have
seen the fruits of our own grown and
watched them have fruits of their very own"
^Perfect. That is the true manifestation of love...bringing children into the world who soon bring children of their own. Such a creative way of expressing this.

I really enjoyed the subtle rhyme at the end of your poem because it didn't take anything away from the poem or feel forced in any way. It all just flowed so perfectly. I like how you incorporated the idea of a river and intertwined it with love. Great ending and wonderful piece overall! (10)

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The Day The Sun Didn't Shine
by Maple Tree

What a heartbreaking poem. That's the best way I can sum it up. This write took us on an emotional rollercoaster of her pain, but then a highlight is the ending, where she faces her demons. It's then that you're able to move on, when you acknowledge that they are still this festering bubble within your mind. Face them and they will someday vanish. Avoid them and they follow you like the plague. She wrote of this is a beautifully touching and sad way, and it's something I truly feel everyone can relate to. She did, however, have 1 typo "within the the very near future." ... two the's. I also appreciate the straightforwardness within this piece as well. The idea of a heart erasing the letters touched me, as our brains and hearts don't always connect in the things we feel and decisions we want to make. The idea of this being in winter is of course perfect, even if a little cliche, but the coldness just brings the sincerity a little more. This poem really touched me.

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Pretty Illusion
by Timothy

The title is really interesting because I have never heard of an illusion being described as pretty therefore I was really intrigued and wanted to read more. Every talented poet tempts with a wonderful title...in my opinion at least.

"perched under a dusty crescent grin."
^I took this as the moon...so clever! Overall, your poem was nicely drizzled with imagery and I had the scene perfectly set in my mind. It was as if I was there frolicking with these people endured in happiness. I liked how each one of your words held a specific purpose and there were no fillers or "cutesy" paint smeared across it. It was compact in diction but ample in meaning. This is where I captured the meaning of the title. Even an illusion can be deemed as pretty.

"not even the pocket watch can liberate
the human torches that stay alight."
^I can see people, years from now, quoting this and sinking in this phrase in awe. It was so profound and so wonderfully crafted that it is a poem in itself. (7)

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Even a Crooked Smile Shines by Blissful - 7 points
This was such an adorable piece. I really liked the simplicity of it and the image of balloons floating from the corners of one's lips. Then that imagery reappeared for me at the end when the poet mentioned having lost their smile while longing to see someone else's. I related the loss of their smile to the loss of a balloon floating off into the sky

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Piercing Flesh
by Lioness

There are as many ways to surrender a life as there is to take one The depth and thought behind this poem touched me on a higher level than the poet may have intended 7

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Wooden Spoon
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

This poem grabbed my heart and allowed me to feel the beauty and unconditional love a parent has for a child. This poem left me teary and made my heart feel warm and fuzzy- Loved the Metaphor!!!

Title: The title is perfect- This is the heart of the poem and it drew me in-

First stanza: Excellent description of the wooden spoon. Allowing me to see this spoon that the author writes of... A great start to this piece-

Second Stanza: I find it interesting how the author says "nothing unique" because this allows the reader to know, that its priceless and a special spoon.

Third Stanza: Ok now I cried- When a child makes something for their parents- Its worth more than gold!!!! And I could actually visualize the child handing the parent that precious spoon, with smiles on both of their faces- Love this stanza!!

Fourth Stanza: Oh be still my heart! Children are precious! And I could see the radiance within this stanza- the excitement of the parent using the spoon for the first time!!! So so so cute- I adored this stanza-

Fifth Stanza: That spoon is far more than a spoon and the author explains that in his closing stanza and as I read this, I had tears of joy streaming down my face-

Ending Comment: There is nothing more special or priceless than a child's love and the author captivated me with this poetic display of beauty. That spoon is a gift that not only touched the heart of the author but now for all of us who read this wonderful poem!! -Well done Larry Chamberlin the Godfather (7)
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If I Were Thunder
by Poet On The Piano

This is the ultimate test of personhood I feel.... if I were more (insert adjective here), I would do this, but you'll still do this anyway. I know what you'll do, so I don't have to really do it. But what you don't know is how much you truly hold back if you don't do what you feel is the right thing to do. The idea of being thunder is a gorgeous metaphor, as it can be so many things to so many people. For me, I personally love storms, so I instantly felt a connection to being "strong" or "bold" when it comes to being thunder.. and that's really what I felt through a lot of this. A constant loud reminder of what's lost or left behind. Another beautifully written sad poem for this week...I really believe this had great imagery and just nailed it. Well done
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How To Pirate Perfection
by The Poetess

I wanted to vote on this one last week, so I am glad it rolled over to this week. Poetess in all of her charms never ceases to add attitude in a sweet way, and this is one of those times. A lot of us on pnq are hurt or frustrated by the recent plagiarism going on by someone who was a "friend" to some. It's discouraging to see nothing being done about it, but Poetess' poem to flat call him out is something that should be seen on the front page, especially since our little stealer likes to take front page poems. She questions so much in the poem that makes you delve into the idea of a poem a little more, ringing true how personal a poem really is to a person, so that when someone steals it, it's a violation into our minds. I love the in your face boldness of this poem as well.. the metaphors are chilling, and I would hate to have such written of me. Hopefully this person can be stopped.
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Play-Dough
by Lioness

Too many times people try to change others to be more like what they want and don't take the time to appreciate this person how they truly are. You expressed that wonderfully here! I have to be honest, when I first saw the title I was hoping that the piece wouldn't be cliche' or overdone because the concept of "play-dough" is worked into poetry many times but man oh man you blew me away!

"You're kneading me,
though it's not
the same way
that I NEED
you."
^What a wonderful play on words! That is what poetry is all about, I loved it! I just wanted to read it again and again...so witty! I had the image perfectly in my mind of a person molding and kneading another to be exactly how they pictured when all this person wants is to be loved. Such a sad realization but something many people experience. You made this piece easy to relate to but also made it unique and your own. Wonderfully written! (4)

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Bricks
by Kuro

I'm a huge fan of short and powerful poems and here you go folks- This poem says so much within 9 lines- I had to highlight this wonderful gem!

Title: The title is very powerful- when I read the title I thought to myself "this is going to be deep"- and I was not disappointed, and then when I saw it was a short poem, I was even more curious!

The first line says so much- Life does have an intimidation and it does seem to be a brick wall.

The second line is a wonderful metaphoric viewpoint: Describing the brick wall and comparing it to life- Wonderful line here and the use of "stubborn" is outstanding-

The third and fourth line really made me think and allowed me to see the authors view- what a creative way of thinking here, it's like we as society have built the brick wall- awesome view point here and very thought provoking- It left me sitting here thinking...

The fifth and sixth line left me
speechless- Yes we all are unique, but yet we as a society still shun others who are unique-

The ending two lines made my mouth drop- being worn down by weather and climate, only to be brought down in the end, left to crumble into dust.... It brings light to the saying "out with the old and in with the new" almost making me feel like as you get older, you have lost your strength per say.... WOW WOW WOW!

Ending Comment: All I have to say is "AWESOME" the author created a powerful, inspirational, raw, in depth, smack it to ya poem, and I absolutely loved this explosive piece!!! Well done Kuro (4)

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Times Foreseen (ABC poem)
by Ice Crystals

There is something about the way the poet rose to this difficult challenge that really impressed me The theme was on spot for my taste (4)

Thank you; Ms sunsshineeeeeeeeeee

Congrats to the winners and multiple HM's,
such a great week for outstanding poetry.

Thanks Nana for your hard work and all the judges once again, although NANA it is only the 9th today LOL! :)

Ohhhhh I have been freaking out all day!! I have been on this site since i've ben 12 yrs old..have grown sooooo much as a poet. When I wrote this poem I was really hoping someone would nominate this, i was actually really proud of it! And sure enough someone did and I won!! This is my first win ever on this site and I'm sooo excited!!!!

Thank you guys so much I appreciate everything!!!

Congrats to the other winners as well!

Well done Chelsey, it totally deserved it, I have had one win last year and have been on this site since 2005, and I was really pleased and grateful, so I know how you feel, well done again! x

Thank you Tara! I was flattered you said I was going to win and then you were right! Its awesome!!!! :) Makes me want to be a better poet and keep doing what I'm doing, learn to get better and better! I love poetry and it took me 8 years to come this far, but I know I can go farther.

^ I'm so happy for you Chels<3 *HIGH FIVE*

-- Congrats to everyone, and nice to see two new faces on the front-page.

Chelsey
Andrea
Lucero
Timothy
Liz
Noura

^ What a way to represent Kite Runners! Love you guys.

Congratulations to the well deserved wins this week!!! The poems were awesome!!!

Also congrats to the other HM's!!! Well done

Thank you judges for the awesome comments on my poem!!! Your words are too kind!!!

Thanks Nana :)

x

Congrats winners :) Thanks to the judges for your effort and thanks Nana for bringing all this together :)

Congrats everyone!!

Specially Chelsey and Andrea!!
This time I wont' make confetti with the whole puncher. lol

Thanks for the comments and for the lovely comment on my poem :D

Thanks, Ms. Sunshine too.

Lol Luce, youre poor hard working homemade confetti! Thats too funny.

Gosh, I just appreciate this soooo much!! I don't know who had a hand in helping me win or deciding or commenting, but man this means so much! Im so excited!!! :)

You are all welcome... :D anytttime

and LOOL!! man I am in future, just not that much, this is the 3rd time I say it's April 10! Even on my assignment. sorry :O

CHELSEY : since you're that much happy I'm going to edit that list

Hahaha... I liked the decoration in chelsey's name

Haha, I did not even realize that you put the wrong date lol

Haha JEnni..everytime i make a title mistake someone has to say it, for myself to realize..so i dont blame you :P

and ya nice decoration ya? :P haha just to give her more applause :P

Lol me too.. I just see the word 'weekly' to know Nana has finally posted what was compiled... Nana, you rock always :)

Haha i rock and youuuu? play piano :) nice pic!

Sorry for pointing that out Nana, I'm too observant sometimes for my own good,
feel free to give me a good kick won't you. ;)

Awwwwww nana!! hahahha I love it even more omg I feel like its my birthday! This is so much more awesome!!...alllll day long I've been on pnq celebrating with my club!! :)

Hahahaha chelsey lool :) glad you liked it :P

and haha Tara <3 noooo, I'm glad you did, I don't want to end up with the wrong date in few minutes when I finish this essay too LOL.

LOL with the piano part, I thought you mean I was a donkey.

I forgot about the picture :p

Congratulations E dacaf and Chelsey :-) and to all the HM's...well done everyone- I also want to thank you for my win and Hm- much appreciated~

I want to say a special thank you to the judge on "Iced Tea" I actually new the two grammatical issues, but felt within the way I wrote it, it meant something for me personally to say it in that fashion, I'm an odd bird ha ha and I say certain things in funny odd ways, and it shows in my poetry. I thank you for the awesome comment, it made my day-

Also to the judge that chose "The day the sun didn't shine" poem- THANK YOU so much for catching my "the" typo.... ha ha ha My eyes are getting old... ha ha much appreciated-

Thank you to Nana for all of her hard work and effort that she puts in each week and thank you to the mods as well-

I see 2 of the judges comments for my poem are still not on here. Still wanna hear what they said...

^^^E,
One comment is up there. Looks like 1 is still missing yet,

I thought winning poems got the judges comments automatically added, not sure.

best to pm one of the awesome mods, maybe they can answer your ?

Belated congrats :)
Lostlove1

Congratulations everyone! And thank you for the comment and HM :)