Fight and love

Do you sometimes also have the feeling that even when you have a fight with your boy or girlfriend he / she looks angry at you, behind those angry eyes you still can see a sparkle in his / her eyes of '' I do still love you '' ?

And do you think he / she still really loves you?

Cause its making me scared he will just leave some day.. He is my first love thats ever been longer than 3 months, We have been together for 7 months, And I dont know how deep love than can be after 7 months, to just not wanna leave because of a fight? Its all new for me. Cause with other relationships they always left after one fight.. But I just have the feeling that he and I fight more than it needs to be.. Its always about small things, irritation that sort of things.. Its like when he is irritated he just shows it.. Without thinking about the consequences, I dont think he sometimes realizes how much he can hurt me, Cause when he and I fights he just is angry for a few minutes, and after that he just let it come over him and doesnt think about it anymore..

Honey I didnt even finish reading it after I got to the part about them leaving after the first fight... Honey if he has stayed this long and after more than one fight then he cares enough about you to stick around! Cant you see that? :)

Maybe he is having some deep internal conflict and just kinda blows up on accident... it's unexcusable but it... it happens sometimes. If it's the small things that irritate him then there is some bigger problem

Well or I will just let it be, or help him if I knew wat big problem he has..

Ask him... confront him... there's not much to lose

I agree with Katelyn.

I can relate to the situation you'e in. My first love, always fought with me, literally everyday. But I loved him so much I put up with it. When it comes to love and relationships, You will fight. Its human nature, But if a guy instantly gives up and leaves you after one, he doesn't truly care. No guy will ever give up on the girl he really loves because of one bad fight.

He needs to stop taking his anger out on you, you don't deserve it. Tell him you guys need to talk, tell him you love him but fighting all the time will make this relationship fail. I finally had to leave my ex because I couldn't handle the fighting. it tears you apart inside.

Instead of him not talking to you about it, he has to. He can't hold it inside or pretend it didnt happen, because it might be brought up way later.

You can love someone deeply in 7 months, It doesn't matter about the time. Its the way you feel about them and the chemistry. I know you'e scared to lose him, My boyfriend and I are currently fighting and may break up. It hurts but you need to stand your ground. and when he starts fighting with you say stop if you love me, you will stop fighting and just talk to me.

relationships will never be easy hun, they are hard work. but when the guy is worth it, you will try until you can't anymore.

-- I'm in the same exact boat with the boyfriend not opening up, he needs to in order for you guys to work out --

Well at least most of the times after a few minutes, he looks at me with a sad face and wanna hug me. But sometimes its so hard. Its like he doesnt even want to try to be the one that says: Im sorry. He says sorry a lot of times, but the kind of sorry he always says is not meaningful, its in a angry and pissed of way. Like everytime I need to say sorry to make it all okay... I have never had a moment when I needed to go out of it that he would run after me. He just patiently wait till I come back. Its hard to understand the reason why he never wants to try so hard to make it okay. Its like he wants to let it come all over him. Like waiting till the storm is over.

That's not a good thing. In a relationship it takes 2 to make it work. And if only one is trying... eventually you will stop and not want to anymore.

You need to be upfront and talk to him and tell him how you feel. and if he truly cares he will not get mad, he will understand and TRY for once. I think you need to stop trying, and push yourself away. DONT talk to him for a couple days, don't see him. and if he texts or calls or comes over, dont answer and pretend you're not home.

doing that is the hardest thing with someone you love. but it will show you the truth.

- if he keeps texting and calling and say im sorry i love you and it drives him insane it shows he cares

but if he doesn't text u once, doesnt call you he doesnt really care.

with my current boyfriend; I didnt talk to him for an entire day. I was waiting for him to text me. and I guess somehow his or my phone didn't send/receive the messages. I woke up with 4 new messages saying baby, baby, i love you i miss you. and when i texted him he thought he had done something wrong or that he pissed me off. he sent 9 messages and was worried I was gone. that showed me he cared.

maybe if you do that; than you'll get your answer

He texted me yesterday and said that he had fun and that he missed me, but after that he didnt text anymore, and I havent heart anything of him today.. Im scared that he will take the to text me when he is back. Like Im not important enough to text while he is away..

I texted a friend of his of they were having fun, and he texted back and said that they were, and when I asked if my boyfriend is okay, he didnt text back.. I hate this so much! It feels so much better to just hear something of him. Not hearing from him while I wanted to be there to, makes me only being more angry at him..

I understand how you feel girl.

My boyfriend has been away for 6 months on deployment. He's now back and never told me; I found out via his friends fb.

When you're out with friends do you text him?
If so don't text him. He isn't seeing that it bothers u and he needs to.

I agree ^

You gotta let him know that it bothers you without actually saying it. He'll begin to expect it if you just tell him which is never a good thing

Yeah and I feel like he has forgotten when he is with friends..

Maybe he is just trying to clear his mind of things. Having a girlfriend that is upset with you has to be harsh for guys and yeah... it's terrible

I dont know if thats the thing that he has on his mind, school doenst go well and parents are trying to force him to focus more on school. Its hard, cause everytime when he is upset he is not happy and he screams at me etc etc..

Hmmm so the school thing might be getting to him and everything... just explain to him that it bothers you when he yells at you. If you have told him and he still acts like that, you have 2 options: yell back or break up

Ive said it so many times, and he always say back at a irritated and not listening way: like okay sorry.... But he doesnt change. Maybe its me, cause I find him very enoying this week. Maybe I need some time without him. But he doesnt realize that. He thinks that I want to do and share everything with him. All I want to do is be with him. But not if he acts like sh*t..

I understand girl.

My boyfriend is doing the same crap to me. He just got back from deployment and was supposed to come to my house today, but now he can't and its bull crap.

Your bf is one of those guys who takes his anger on you and doesn't listen or open up to you. I'm in the same situation. Its definitely not easy.

Try it girl. Don't talk to him for as long as you can, and don't see him. IF he truly cares about you it will bug him. No guy can go long without talking to his girl if she means alot to him.

Im gonna try cause I also need some time alone, Cause for school I need to make a big dicision, and I really dont know what I want to do for four years.. And after that. I only cant find the time to think about it. Its like all my time goes about him,.

But what if he never says 'I love you' face to face? He always say it on the end of a text when he texts me on my phone. But that doesnt feel personal. Ive asked him so many times.. But he doesnt see the problem. He say if I dont love you I wouldnt be with you... But I just love to hear it sometimes. Is that so strange?

Girl, no not at all. My boyfriend has said i love you first twice in almost a week. We want to feel like they want us, and that they love us.You can ask why is it so difficult for you to say i love you to me in person? Be like you say you do, but I don't feel it. I hate when guys are this way.

Yeah and your main focus needs to be school. My ex boyfriend delayed me with school too. When he says i love you, don't say it back. just send a heart or a smile or completely change the subject.

You just want to know you're loved and nothing less. Some guys can't grasp that subject. He seems very hard headed and that nothing may get through to him. Maybe if he thinks hes gonna lose you it will help.

My boyfriend is similar to this also. and usually when I ignore him for a couple days it really bothers him.

Yeahh, he got angry when I asked why he doesnt say 'I love you' He feels like he shows it enough how he feels, but Im always the one who is claiming, so I think he has the feeling not to pay attention to it, cause I ask enough attention.

Maybe I need to be hars now, not let him show what I feel, be so cold as I can, not give that much attention, like I dont care what he does and what he says..

Hm, when I ignore him for a few days he get angry and confused, like he cant find a reason so he finds it ridiculous..

But he has a sweet side somewhere deep, cause now I have cystitis, and I have a fever. He is taking care of me, he says that I need to stay in bed. And he is on his way buying things that I need. And making food for me some things like that. Always when Im sick he is taking care of the things that I need. So the sickness will fade soon. I hope so much !! Having a fever is not fine at all xd

He didnt even bring me what I really need, *sshole!

He shouldn't get angry. Thats just stupid.

Do it girl. Don't show him anything. Be like a statue of emotions to him. I havent talked to my boyfriend in almost 2 days on purpose and he keeps texting me and texting me hearts and i love you and i miss you. But i refuse to reply.

Honestly.. It kinda seems like he doesn't really care that much. Usually when a girl pulls away from a guy, he always pulls her back bcuz he doesn't wanna lose you. But than again, he can be completely opposite and not like to show affection.

Aww. I hope you feel better girl<3.
Don't let him come over maybe? just tell him no i don't need you or want you here. and hope it hurts him. he needs to change and start showing his feelings towards you.

Yeah indeed !

I hope that really works..

I think thats the way he is. But still some more emotion would be nice in a relationship..

Now Im just pissed cause I wanted to sit next to him and hug him, and every little touch that irritates him is like back of.. Than I feel like okay Im not gonna sit next to you, and his first reaction is. Why do you leave with a sad face. And I feel like F*CK YOU!

I hope it works to girl. I understand. I'm a really affectionate person too and couldnt be with someone who isn't.

Wtf? He is sending you mixed signals. When you sit next to him it's like he doesn't care but as soon as u move it's different: I know when I see my bf I'ma be like connected to his hip.

It's obvious how much u love him and I really hope he steps up before he loses you

No,

I feel sick.. Like now he only says: I like you, and doesnt say a thing about loving me or something like that..

Its his shame when he lose me.

And hes about to lose you. He isn't treating you the way that you should be treated.

I'm sorry girl. I know how bad that feels. It tears you apart even thinking about it. Do the same stuff back to him. or flat out ask him what do you want and if he says he doesn't know than screw him

Ive talked to him today, Ive told him that people see that the flame between him and me is fading away. And he finally told the truth, he doesnt have a strong feeling for me like he did before. Now he just wants to try to.. Maybe our relation will break. But he is soo cold! Like he is not breaking the relation apart, but he is breaking me apart.

Honestly, He is going to break your heart. He said it himself his feelings aren't the same.

Ill be honest... with some guys when they say that, they really don't want to be with you.. they just dont want to hurt you. You can try all you want, but unless HE does 100% it will fail. I don't want you to get hurt, you don't deserve it. But you will get more hurt if you continue a relationship with a guy whos feeling have changed alot.

If your gut feeling says to end it, than end it. But if it says to try than try. Do what you feel is right, but it seems like hes looking for a way out, maybe trying to get you to end the relationship. he isnt the same person and I don't think he ever will be. I've gone through a similiar thing and it hurts alot

If he told you that he doesn't have strong feelings for you anymore, he is just hinting around that it needs to end. He just doesn't want to be the one to do it. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he is treating you like shit so you will get fed up with him and end it first.

Maybe you guys just need a break... take some time apart... like the saying goes if you love something, let it go... if it's meant to be, it will come back. So, maybe if you guys have some time apart and he has a chance to miss you... he might realize what a douche he's being.

Good luck, hope everything works out for the best.

Well my boyfriend and I did go out for the weekend with my parents, it was planned way before this happened, and we talked with my mom, and he told me that he just wanted some things to be different, so we still can find something in between .. its hard cause before that is gonna happen there needs to be a lot of changes, he said he wanted to try, and that he still like me, and he told me that he meant with: I like you less than before, was just a little bit less, cause of the situation we are in now, school life that doesnt work and money that we dont have etc etc.. I dont know what I really want to do, I feel like I shall see what happens. Cause he still didnt say that he loved me, just that he likes me.. for the whole weekend he didnt even say it.

I guess I am wondering why you are stringing yourself along. I know you have feelings for this guy, but wouldn't you want to be with someone who is psyched to see you? Who goes out of his way to meet up? Who would never dream of telling you that he liked you less than before?

Rough patches in relationships can be gotten through, but there needs to be an effort and desire by both parties (is there?). It makes it worse that, the problem isn't school or finances, its his feelings for you: the thing that should be steady in spite of everything else.

I hardly think the situation is salvageable, but I am just wondering why you want to save it in the first place? I hope that doesn't come across as rude - I'm just honestly wondering if there is an aspect that I'm not seeing. What makes this guy worth such an effort?

From several years of personal experience, I can say: it sucks and it hurts for someone to have waning feelings for you. It sucks to be left, dumped, abandoned. But it feels way worse to try and keep thing together when they shouldn't be. It means you're living with a quiet, steady rejection day after day. Better to just get it over with and move on.

He told me that I hurt him, when I think that he doesnt love me, he told me that the reason why he doesnt say it much, is because I asked to much about it, the idea of me not believing that he loves me hurts him, he wants it to take it to the next level, to have a real relationship, one that you know from each other that you love each other and want to be together, without doubting about it.