R U THINKING ABPUT SUICIDE?

You do know half of the people who say they're doing it arent? They just want attention.

They want help, but why don't they ask for it? Soon we won't take suicide seriously if some keep fake'ing it.

Yup I'm thinkin of suicide

yep me to last night i was gunna get da nife go up stairs then slash den i had images of ma mom cryrin so decided not 2 but dtas beside da point! yes it is gettin out of hand , its stupid y would u cum on here 2 say bye uneless u now peps well! but most of its coz peps bored , but if any1 reads this and has postest a true post im sorry 2 affendyou! luv lidxx

Sweetblood,

If you'd prefer not to hear about Depression/Self-harm/Suicide .. Don't read this section of the forum/poetry section.

Simple as.

-Laura.

Well that's a pretty cold answer, Ironic.

You see most of us would like to help and we know that suicide threats don't help anyone. So would you rather I drop all contact with the three kids I'm trying to help or continue reading and getting pissed off with one aspect of the forum?

No, that's not what I'm saying.

But just as many people are getting annoyed with the fact they are continuously reading posts about suicide, others are getting annoyed with the fact that people complain about it.

For the majoirty of those who are depressed/self-harming/suicidal, they cannot help it. They turn to this site for refuge, however pitiful it may seem to others. It's not something they can get rid of or ignore.

It's a little easier for those who don't like to read about it, to not.

-Laura.

There's a world of difference in saying "Hey, Im really down I'm feeling suicidal and I need to talk." and "I have a gun, I'm gone, goodbye."

That's my gripe. If you are suicidal say so, don't make threats or promises.

Subtulty (Sp?) Isn't something alot of people can pick up on.

I understand and agree with what you said, but sometimes people only understand when they're being shouted at, or shocked by something.

-Laura.

(Subtlety)

I know what you're saying by being shouted at for someone else's problem isn't going to help.

I'd be far more concerned if someone quitely stated their thoughts on suicide.

With all respect though, you're just one person.

People who have turned to forwardly expressing their suicidal thoughts, may be their last resort to ever getting people who mattered to them to actually realise.

Although I have to say, I'd resent them for not noticing and me having to go so far before they realised how I felt.
But that's just a personal feeling, not a general one.

-Laura.

If I was gonna commit suicide, I wouldnt put it up on a frigging internet forum.

I understand you, my friend told me he was going to kill himself.. more than once.. I spilled my heart out and it didn't seem like he cared, you just have to be there for them, I think he's slowly getting better now. Please anyone, don't commit suicide, it kills the people around you. xxx

"People who have turned to forwardly expressing their suicidal thoughts maybe their last resort to ever getting people who mattered to them, to actually realise."

You're dead right (no pun intended), but we're not the people who matter to them... are we?

No, but we're clearly the only people who will try to help that they're willing to speak to.

Some people just aren't ready for Therapy.

-Laura.

I am actually considering suicide at the moment. NO I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO FLOCK TELLING ME NOT TOO, I dont meen like this second but who knows

Some people just aren't ready for Therapy.

They're ready for something if they're willing to force feed problems onto already messed up kids.

I see kids here admitting to doing hard drugs, having pre-teen sex and God knows what else. The lack of respect kids have for anything now days is enough to depress even me.

Maybe it's better to let you all go... wipe the slate clean and start with the next generation of kids, ones with more than an ounce of self restraint and respect.

Y'all obviously know better because you're already grown up and ready for everything, right?

Now hang on, that's a little unfair don't you think?

If people aren't capable of swimming, you teach them with arm-bands, right? The same stragedy applies here. You ease people into the full thing, instead of launching them into something they clearly aren't ready for.

Nobody is suggesting they knoe EVERYTHING, they're just admitting to not being able to cope with the life they're leading at the moment.

Maybe it is better to let us all go, but at the same time, what's happened to those in our generation doesn't mean that It's not happening to those younger.

At the end of the day, It shouldn't highlight the fact that there are so many teenagers suffering from anxiety, but more so the fact that It HAS happened to so many.

-Laura.

Exactly the reaction I was looking for. A little push here, a prod there. I was being an arse, totally on purpose to get the cogs warmed up.

Easing people in... a good point that goes both ways. This applies to suicidal tendancies. My mate, let's call him Derek, used to walk home with me every day from school and every week or so we'd discuss his suicide on his 21st birthday. He couldn't see the point of life. My argument was always A: if it's pointless why didn't you do it last night? and B: It's a boring subject, shut up and help me with my homework. It would come up every now and then and then on his 18th we're all getting drunked when he gets a knife out. Says he's not waiting. Naturally I knocked him out and threw his knife away. The point of this, you ask?

He'd tell you right now, it's right. suicide is a boring subject, he realised how selfish he was and how it affected all of us (We're still all mates now, 5 of us in total ever since 1988) having to keep our eye on him, making sure he didn't go and do anything stupid. Now? Well, he's psychologist specialising in kids with depression... a bloody good one at that.

I've also had another friend (not so close) commit suicide too. I'll never forgive him for what he did to his family. He crushed the very life from them. None of us knew until he was found in his room with a essay of his problems and how he couldn't talk about them.

So yeah, Im opinionated, but I have reasons. I'm not just talking because it annoys me, I have experience with this. A hard line and caring attitude (even punching in the face) is what kept Derek going. I'm not about to change my way of thinking now.

My question to you is this:

Why are teenagers suffering from anxiety and depression today. And considering you all know this why isn't anything being done about it?

I wasn't suggesting you didn't know what you are talking about, neither was I asking you to change your view. I was just stating mine, which happened to challenge yours. Each to their own :)

The majority of teenagers are suffering from depression because of childhood inadequacies/unresolved issues.

Persons whom I've spoken to, left annonomous, have had the majority of problems arise from their parents. From as little as the age of 4, they can remember memories from arguments, violence, cursing - Not just towards their partner but to the child themselves.
One person in particular was thrown out of her house at the age of 7 with her brother, 9, for a whole night sleeping rough. It then became a pattern after their parents marriage broke up. Of course, they were blamed for the divorce and forced to live with either A self-obsessed, violent, alcoholic Mother or a violent Father, frequently 'touching' his children.
Naturally, it reflected on their schoollife. This only caused more problems from teachers wondering why they weren't so as 'up beat' as the rest of the class. Teachers then speak to the head of the school, taking the child out of classes to ask 'What's wrong?' A panic-stricken, vulnerable 7 year old isn't about to open up to a teacher. Least of all because they do still care for their parents and don't want them to get into trouble.

Years pass, more violence, abuse, arguments but more than anything, cursing begins to escalate, Phrases such as 'It's you, all your fault.' 'I can't believe you'd do this, It's all your fault.' 'You're selfish, you've ruined my life.' 'You're a mistake, get out of my sight.' ..Being said to a child of no more than 9-12 is obviously going to have some sort of adverse affect on them, right?

You try and comfort a hysterical 7 year old, most probably passed the point of consolation. Every night having to make their own dinner, having to sit and soak up every evil word said by their parent about them. People sitting there the next day saying, 'I'm sure your parents were just angry, It'll all blow over by tonight' Is NOT going to make things better for them. More often than not, the child won't even open up and reveal what it is that's bothering them. So yeah, maybe that's the reason they can't be helped but at the same time, It's a little harder to actually repeat the words been said, takes alot more courage, than to sit there and just believe it. Especially when it comes from brothers, sisters, Mothers, Fathers etc.

Problems then arise with school in alter life; behaviour, shoolwork, absences. Then possibly being introduced to things such as drugs will just add to it, however, their youth prevents them from realising that. Perhaps people should be taught the dangers of drugs from an earlier age. Then again, if aquiring drugs weren't so easy children wouldn't be quite as inclined to take them. I don't know.

Other bad situations such as rape, either from a family member or a complete stranger is still a nightmare in itself. I think you can udnerstand that, I don't need to explain.

'Love,' as it's known, is another part to play in teenage angst.

Friendships, or lack of for that matter.

Death of family members, close friends.

Then there's things that are a result of an accumulation of everything mentioned, such as annorexia, bulimia, self-harm and suicidal tendencies.

I'm not condoning these actions, nor am I condeming them, I'm simply saying that I can understand why people get caught up in it, but just how serious it actually is. The repercutions are phenominal, but so too are those memories from childhood.

Hearing your parents repeatedly say to you, 'I hate you' 'I wish you were never born' 'You're a total mistake, you've F*cked up my whole life, It's all your fault' ..Do you not think that's a reason in itself to hate yourself? As a vulnerable, innocent child being told that you're worthless and to blame for your parents splitting up, do you not think that would give reason to hate yourself?

There's a million more things I could go into depth about here, but the fact is that children don't understand, comprehend it or even realise the depth of the situation.

As for your second question..

The reason things aren't being done about it is because there isn't much help around. I know where I live, there is very little variety of help for people of my age group to turn to. THat is, if they want it.

I think we both know the reason there is very little done is because people don't want it. Or do want it, but don't know how to get it.

'Don't know how to get it' meaning, don't know how to open up. Are afraid of become a burden. Are afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being judged, condemned, frowned upon for what they do.

Yes, they should be sternly told about the seriousness of what they do, but not to the extent where they're telling them they're being pathetic and stupid. They're not.

Technically, It's a way of ridding the problem temporarily for themselves.

When people try to express themselves, sometimes they do it in a different way. That doesn't mean it's the wrong way, that just means it's not the preferred way to handle such a difficult situation. People turning and hurling abuse at them isn't going to make the situation any easier, however much you may disbelieve the person in question.

Now I'm sorry for the length of this, but It had to be said. I'm sorry for offence, or anything left unanswered. I've tried the best I could to remember everything so sorry if anything's left out.

-Laura.

Firstly, you need never apologise, Laura, never. I think by now you know I respect your opinion as a teenager of today and that even the most scathing comment about me is going bounce of me without effect.

Secondly, an apology of my own. I should have just flat out asked instead of provoking you into any response (although I hope I got you in the right frame of mind).

The idea was to get a well thought and considered answer not just for me, but for others too.

ok,

Now we have a quite clear and precise answer, how would you go about remedying it? (open question to all, not just our resident teenage psychology major) How can society change a/ to solve the current students of self harm and b/ how do we prevent future generations from cutting in the first place?

I self-harm and I always have thoughts about suiside. My mom is really mean to me. Like she doesn't abuse me or anything, but she yells and curses at me and blames me for everything and I'm afrid to tell anyone anything because if it gets back to her then she will get mad at me. She has grounded me from everything.. even from calling my dad. He is trying to help me through all or everything but I can't tell him everything bacuse he will get upset.
My mom curses at me and gets in my face and yells and she blames me for everything and she calls me heartless and a little shit. I don't really know if I'm depressed or not because I haven't ever been different.
I read your guys conversation and you both have good points and Brett, sorry about your 'aquantence' (sorry i can't spell really good) I guess you can call him.
I don't really know what else to say so.. yea talk to you guys later I hope.

~ShAtTeReD*HeArT~

'Resident teenage psychology major?' .. Been called manyer things before, think that's the first time I've been called that though.

And just so my mind is put to rest, Bullying is another reason for self-harm. [Been up all night annoyed at myself for not remembering that..grrrr]

Trying to deter teenagers away from self-harm doesn't have a straight forward remedy, neither is there a simple solution to prevent it continuing.

As you have stated in the past, self-harm is a choice, made purely by the person themselves. Others can contribute and give reasoning as to why they should or shouldn't, but the actual choice is for the person alone.
We can't stop them from doing it. Instead, I think It's more a case of preventing them from having reason to do it.

Now as much as I think I know about the cause and affect of self-harm, or suicide, I don't actually think there is a straight forward solution, if there is one at all.

There isn't a situation mentioned, besides maybe bullying, that is able to be controlled properly.

Nothing can change how a parent acts within their home toward a child unless the child is willing to openly admit what's going on, which I seriously doubt they would in most cases.

When you think about it, children living within an abusive, violent environment, It's going to affect their behaviour either as a child too or as an adolescent.

Their temper won't be as lenient as others and neither would it be able to be controlled as affectively. That's not necessarily entirely the child's fault. That's the way they've been brought up - Blunt, Honest, Inconsiderate toward other peoples feelings etc.. Hence why, possibly, people post on here about their suicidal 'tendencies' thinking that by bluntly saying it they could get through to someone who would actually have the time for them. I don't know, maybe that's a little far-fetched.

I myself, think the real reason why children are becoming more and more inclined to self-harm is because they bottle their problems up. They give no reason to suspect anything's wrong and hide everything far too well, usually being an agony-aunt to other people's problems so as to not have to talk about their own. Alot of them don't like to talk about their feelings, others simply don't know how. They don't know whether it's good or bad; If It's to do with abuse in the home environment, the child will be scared to either admit it, or to get their parents in trouble because despite them being abusive, they're their parents after all. I think you can understand that.
Other reasons for younger children is the names and stories associated with Psychologists, Therapists, Workers Etc.. Whether you believe it or not, names are extremely intimidating.

There isn't a way of totally ridding the problem for future generations, if we can't rid it for the adolescents of today.

I would just like to add though, Self-harm is NOT a fad, neither is a culture. Self-harm is just a coping mechanism, however extreme or wrong it may seem to others.

-Laura.

Shattered Heart. You have a right to speak to your father and he has a right to see you. Being prevented from doing so is illegal.

And you can him everything. This is exactly the kind of things that parents are here for. Sure he'll be upset, it's natural, he loves you and cares for you. But he'll also be there for you and try to help.

I don't feel sorry for people who commit suicide. I feel angry that they
a/ don't have the courage to see things through and sort their problems out.
and b/ realise the impact it will have on those around them and go do it anyway.

Nicely put, Laura.

I don't agree that teenagers are honest. Most of the time (in general in a broad appraisal) they are farthest from honest.

the fact they are self harming is proof enough of not being honest. if they were then the problems they have would not be kept secret, hidden away.

"I'm feeling suicidal, please help" is blunt.
"I'm killing myself right now... goodbye." is selfish.

I like blunt, blunt is good.

As for self harm not being a culture but a coping mechanism... If that is the case why has it boomed in the last five years or so?

(In another thread I think the fad side has been proved by some of the teenagers here who agreed with me and stated cases for it.)

Okay then, It may be in different parts of the world but just because it is happening there doesn't mean It's global.

Maybe It's boomed because of the lack of help for teenagers today, or the lack of belief in them.

I agree with the statements differenciating blunt and selfishness.

Self-harm isn't proving they're dishonest, It's proving they're helpless or incapable of revealing/proving that they are a great deal of pain. In my opinion anyway.

-Laura.

Just to add ..

Cases are unique. Just because It's happened in one circumstance, does not mean that It's also the same in the majority of others. Some, maybe, but not majority.

-Laura.

Hey lots of you have the right idea on suicide...
but well i've been reaserching the topic lately...and most people who want to commit suicide are just unable to handle anything thats happening at that moment...about 298 teens died last year....most suicidal people want to live but see no other way out of their problems...theres so many diffrent reasons why people want to commit suicide...and when people say "i want to kill myself" or "good-bye, i love you. i don't think i'll be here tommorow" its a cry for help...an i know you're all getting tired of how they keep wanting to do it...how they keep saying good-bye...but knowing you care could save their lives and can help build your freindships stronger...im suicidal and i think i know alot of people who might be getting sick of how much i want to kill myself even now...but there are so many signs...clues...nobody notices...i usuallly tell my freinds i trust alot...and even then its so hard...i know i need help...but to get it from some1 you don't trust...thats imposible and the too get it from some1 you trust..care fore...even love with all your heart...thats hard becuz you don't want to hurt them...and most teens who see no way out...or don't care anymore...are most likely to be going through deppresion...they should see a docter...thats what i need too do...but i gues my main point is showing you care...helps so much...it saves lifes...who knows mby tommorow you might feel this way...they might save your life just by saying they care...
*kathleen*

I think self harming is becoming more prevalent in teenagers, not as a culture, but because of the stresses that society puts upon us now. (In England) We have exams from when we are 9, even younger in some schools. We are forced into making plans about future jobs when we are 13. Now we have AS levels as well as GCSE'S and A levels, we are being pressured to take more and more GCSE'S. Some of my friends took 14 GCSE'S. They're even thinking of making A levels harder now. And they wonder why there's so many screwed up kids?

Too many families split up, leaving the kids in an absolute mess. Divorce is just too easy and is becoming a type of culture. No one thinks about what the effects are on the children, until they end up in therapy.

My Sister is 25 and she hadn't even heard of self harming before she saw me doing it. There is too much pressure on us today, its a simple fact your brain can only take so much pressure.

On top of all of this, there is still a stupid stigma about mental health, so any teenagers experiencing problems are afraid to share their problems for fear of being judged, not only by their friends, but adults too.

We're no longer allowed to be children, we feel we have to grow up fast. I think society has truly failed us.

omg i totally agree with you toni....
theres too many stresses..
im 14...
i got a job...
but im already thinking of moving out....
an i want to by the end of the skool year....
i've been making financhial plans...
everything...
its tuff...
well good luck...

Harald you fruitcake.

-Laura.

Toni I agree with u 100% about all that the suiside and that there is too much pressure on all of us kids today.
I am suisidal and I do self injure. Families spliting up (I know from expirence) fucks up the kids life and the adults don't think about it untill the kids kills themselve, tried, do drugs, ect.
My family never thought about me self harming untill my dad got a call from the school that I was doing it. There has alway...always benn alot of pressure on me (about like everything) and I just can't handle it anymore.
I have only told 2 people about my self harming but no one about my suiside thoughts. I too afraid that i will be jugded my everyone (and the people -like my mom and her side of the family- that knows about my self harming even judge me. So I might be a little scared to get help or tell anyone about all this stuff)
I don't know what else to really say .. so bye

~ShAtTeReD*HeArT~

Also, that is just my story and how I agree with Toni.

hey shatered heart...
i know from the fact many of my freinds have had they're parents divorse an they think its hell...but for me at this point in my life...i want and i pray for my parents to just get it over with...it would only be my moms second husband...i donknow wat id to do if people at my skool found out about my self abuse...i knew my dad would hit me...and when it did i knew i probly wouldnt make a year...hopefully i can get out...i'll probly still stressed...being 14 having a job and working all the time...i'd lose lots of contact with alot of my freinds...but it would be worth it...well i dont see really how this comes to conect with wat you said...but well...i guess i just agree with you and toni...theres too much stress...no time to be a kid...
*kathleen*

Didn't realise there were so many ppl that agreed with me, thought it was just me! lol

I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through with your family problems...sometimes adults aren't really all they're cracked up to be are they..

xxxx

OK, well just to set your minds at ease...

My parents split when I was ten, the divorce finalised and set just in time for me starting grammar school, where we were set for a record 10 GCSEs. (I was so buggered up by 17 I dropped out of school and went to work.)

What does that mean? Well not much really other than I understand the stresses of divorce, the stresses of being faced with an unheard of number of exams mixed with a boy's only school that still used the cane.

If it hadn't been for illness I'd probably be well on the way to earning my sergeant's stripe or more. So yes, it's hard, but it's always been hard. The standards are always being raised in every field.

Granted some people cope better with stress. I think that because of my youth I suffer very little with stress, I take it in my stride. If I can't control something, I won't let it worry me, simple as that.

When I spoke of the lack of honesty it is in relation to keeping feelings inside and secret. "Anyone have any questions? No? OK, off you go..." I bet you've had a teacher ask that plenty of times. Don't waste this outlet. Good teachers are hard to come by, granted, but if you have a favourite one, regardless of whether they teach you now or not, go and see them.

The only thing different today is the methods used to escape. Crystal meth (among other drugs), sex, self harm, bullying are just a few examples of escapes today.

Back when I was a kid.. only 15 years ago it was beer and bullying (remember I went to a boy's school) and that was it. A few kids were starting to dabble with all kinds of drugs but they were frowned upon by everyone (and rightly so).

So you have a few more outlets nowadays. You also have more access to proper councelling too. Don't say it isn't there, I know it is. I play a big part in my little sister's education.

Honesty, integrity and and good dose of youthful exuberance my friends.

Maybe the reason we keep things bottled up is because we have the option to.

-Laura.

I still think we're not allowed to be children for long enough. We seem to be suddenly thrown into this pressured environment when we are 12/13.... we're suddenly expected to grow up so fast.

I also think the reason theres so much bullying today is not only due to poor parenting, but also, these children see their parents behaving this way towards one another, maybe also with domestic violence, and they think its ok.

The sex and drugs has always been there - the 60s and 70s.

My opinions are probably just my own, I guess its because of what I have personally been through

There's only thing stopping kids from being kids...

Kids.

You're not told to be adults, you're actively discouraged from having sex, taking drugs, drinking alcohol etc. and the only thing you have to think seriously about is your education.

I'd agree somewhat on the bullying but I wouldn't limit it to parenting alone.