WINNERS !!! SEVEN SLASH TWENTY THREE SLASH 2012!!

Congrats everyone! Well done for those who have made it to the front page, great for H'Mers...

One judge couldn't make it this week, a Sub had to cast a vote for Silvershoes "4" comment was added along with it. *edit* BUT

poet on on the piano, something went wrong, one of the votes given to you did not show up, and hence the tie had to be broken between Silvershoes and the the others with similar votes, Sorry about the inconvenience, consider yourself a winner though :) since you are.

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VOTES
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Fukushima 2011
by Hellon 10+7

Crabs
by Silvershoes
10 + 4

No matter
by Poet on the Piano 10 +4

Parched
by Melissa 10+4

Circadian
by Xanthe 10

Colors of London
by Ms. Rhyme 7

Amaurosis. 7
by Novalyn Grace RR

The Kiss of Fingers
by Everlasting 4

5:30 am
by Hellon 4

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COMMENTS
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Crabs
by Silvershoes

It is with great pleasure that I found this poem among this week's nominees. The great Silvershoes strikes again with her unmatched storytelling abilities!

This poem is a fantastic example of prose written in a poetic manner. As far as the structure goes, it doesn't necessarily scream poetry, but with your poetic vocabulary and extensive use of metaphor, you detract from the prose-ish feel and give us lovers of poetry something to drool over.

The topic is very accessible. We've all most certainly experienced social fallout (and those of us who haven't probably will). What makes it even better is that you used a specific personal experience to embellish the overall accessibility of the event. The entire poem, while at times having lofty poetic imagery, was very believable.

highlights:

"Our buckets were filled with miserable red pincers
and cracking shells,
staying alive to suffer ten more minutes.
We spilled their death into baskets of beach bicycles
and clattering bells - soft, hairy legs pumping
ferociously down the broken alley roads.
Our pedal brakes did not work."

This whole stanza is akin to gold.
The crabs staying alive to suffer 10 more minutes...just as you say your friendship stayed alive to suffer 10 years.

The juxtaposition of soft, hairy legs pumping the bike petals versus the crabs legs flailing in the beach baskets. A very violent image that adds to the hostile environment.

The fact that you bothered to mention the pedal brakes is interesting. It seems to have no sense metaphorically, but it is one of those little prose-ish moments that I mentioned before. Which helps maintain the hybrid-poetry feel that makes this piece so special.

"We fed on fresh crab that night, slurping
meaty flesh from softened shells, cackling
with ancient savagery, wild eyes
dancing in candlelight or drowning in wine.
I loved you then, decidedly;
I loved you as my dearest friend,
but also as my nemesis."

The savage ritual of eating the crab was an interesting point in the poem. Coupling the feast with the idea of loving someone but simultaneously despising them - great choice. The biggest but most interesting problem with being human is how we have come so far as civilized beings but can allow our civilized brains to give way to feral instinct at times.

"It was a decade later that your jealousy came to a
staggering boil, blubbering over the top of
the pot. Finally, I thought I heard the crabs scream,
but it was not your uncle's doing.
It was always you. You.
You."

This sort of blew me away. I find it staggering that you could keep everything together so well and make the crab-eating experience into such a grand metaphor. Seriously, I would bow and clap for you were I in your vicinity.

So, I guess by now you gather that I truly loved this poem. It is, in my honest opinion, the most deserving of a front page this week. I hope these 10 points contribute to a win. Bravo!

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This poem works exquisitely on two levels: the simple narration of a childhood event, and the deeper implications foreshadowed, but which found their fruition years later.
The winter beach joys are brought lividly to life as the children delve into the shallows to capture their luscious prey: the cold of the water, the miserable wind, the little-girl runny noses, the uncertain footing, the shared trepidation; all these experiences are brought to life clearly. So are the contrasting images of the kitchen with boiling water and benevolent uncle and the stoned aunt dancing in the parlor.
The relationship between our hunters, however, is complex, even while turning out to be negative ultimately on the part of one of them. The petty jealousy that the second child evidences shows up in the pleasure taken by the pain of the speaker when her bike spills. We do not see the continuing insidious barbs nor do we know by what the ultimate break was occasioned. Nonetheless, the stark pain of betrayal is depicted in earnest and the final cauterization is unmistakable: the poisoned claw must be exorcized.
Both the joy and the sorrow are set forth in rare beauty.

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Fukushima 2011
by Hellon

First things first. Welcome back, Hellon! It's wonderful to see your contributions to our vast library of poetry once again. :)

The atmosphere of this piece is haunting in a delightful sort of way. It feels cast in black and white and it's very somber. It's really interesting that you chose the title 'fukushima 2011,' an event which was caused by natural disaster, while making reference to the Chernobyl disaster (caused by human error) and finally the bombing at Hiroshima (purposely caused by humans).

As with all of your works that point out the sadness of human folly, you hit the nail on the head. It's all-encompassing and wrapped in a neat little package which packs a serious punch. You always set yourself apart from other poets on this site because of pieces like this. Great work!

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I was stunned when I read this piece... and then I read it again... each time I took something so powerful, that I found myself simply in awe-

The opening stanza, grabs the reader... and left me feeling emptiness and horror... I could hear the rain and the looks of a shattered umbrella...

this piece is shocking, and leaves the reader feeling a heavy sadness... Beautifully written!!
Well Done Hellon

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5:30 am
by Hellon

Of all the poems in this contest, there were 4...maybe 5 haiku/senryu/whatever.

This one stood out the most. You used this form to the fullest of its potential, capturing a single, still moment in time while incorporating a MUCH larger idea.

The inherent weight of the newspaper plus the weight of the words it carries is a very serious image indeed. The fact that you chose to place a dog next to it was perfect. The dog - man's best friend - who doesn't have the heavy knowledge that humans must bear. This poem could certainly stir up some chatter among philosophers. I'm seriously impressed with your ability to say so much in so few words.

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Parched
by Melissa

Melissa, I was so taken back when I first read this poem. I got completely lost in the imagery of your words. Your first stanza screamed "winner" . Comparing yourself to cracked clay, and the words to described about waiting to be molded, were just breathtaking. I feel like this is the type of poem that needs to be seen on the front page weekly. An analogy so simple, yet wrapped in metaphors that make the readers jaws drop. I give you so much credit for this piece. It truly was beauty in every shape and form.

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I was swept away by this elegant and quite touching piece..
The yearning for a love is what I took from this piece.

The author created a whirl wind of beautiful word display,
and I was left speechless at the end.
Her creative usage of the words was very captivating:

"I want to drink love like water,
slosh it about in the belly of my soul,"

^^ Unique and Beautiful....

Well done Melissa

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Colors of London
by Ms. Rhyme

This poem, it made a smile slowly creep upon my face with each stanza. First off, I think everyone knows London is a very beautiful city, so already seeing this title tells the reader this poem is going to be filled with a comparison that's really creative. I loooveddd the comparison! Describing someone to a city, I find is so romantic. I know how people can fall in love with cities and get lost in their beuty, perhaps that's why I loved comparing the loved one and their beauty to this city. All I can picture was London while reading this, and all I could feel was warmth and love. Excellent write.

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No matter
by Poet on the Piano

Usually I find repitition too much in poems, but I loved the use of "no matter" in this poem. I thought it gave it such power, you got your point across more and more each time you used it. I loved the use of sunflowers and sand print notes. Beautiful and creative :) a job well done.

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This is utterly beautiful!
I could just sense the nostalgia stitched throughout this whole piece. The opening was just perfect. I really liked your use of "submissive" because I have never thought the night to be that way until I read it in your poem. Now I can totally see it in the stillness of the night.

"I will not sprawl flat 'cross my bed
until
I have thought and thought"
^What a creative way of saying "go to sleep" !
Brilliant poem. Loved it.

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Circadian
by Xanthe

Love, love, love!

"Everywhere I look, I see nothing but love;
unless it is the mirror I look into.
Everytime I breathe, my lungs drown in bleakness;
unless it is the ocean I confess to."
^Gah, so much emotion here! I honestly don't even know where to start...this stanza is a whole in itself. So much beauty and so much pain. I especially like the first two lines and hit me so hard. I think there has been a moment in all of our lives where we have seen love everywhere but not in ourselves. Although there was a slight typo, every time is not one word, this was just seeping with emotion that couldn't be ignored. Nicely written.

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The Kiss of Fingers
by Everlasting

What really caught my eye was the title, so unique! Such a sweet love poem that I couldn't help but smile throughout.

"Let our hands feel, what our hearts
refuse to accept, that indeed, it is love,"
^So true. Oftentimes our heart refuses to accept what it feels because of certain circumstances. You wrote that beautifully here!

The ending was just great! I took it two ways. The first was literally, that even if these two people were not physically one didn't mean they were going to let go of their love. My other interpretation was maybe there is a distance between them and even that won't make them let go of their love. Either way, it was great!

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Amaurosis.
by Novalyn Grace RR

This piece is filled with heartbreaking sadness..

what is unique about it and that makes it stand out and shine, is the word usage... truly and elegant piece.

I love the vocabulary usage... I felt like I was sitting in a candle lit room, feeling the sorrow, but hearing a symphony of sounds...

"salt meanders a maze of freckles
while she blames the southern rain"

^^^ I adore these lines.....

Powerful, creative and brilliant piece of art-
Well Done Novalyn Grace RR

Congratulations to all.

x

Congrats to the winners and HMs

Congratulations winners and H'Ms. Thanks judges, mods and nominators.

THANK YOU NANA COMMA SPACE I LOVE YOUR PRESENCE ON THE FORUMS EVERY WEEK FULL STOP

Congratulations everyone!!! Thank you judges for the beautiful comments, they were so sweet and hats off to Nana again :]

Hahah comma now you know my new language lol three exclamation marks...

PIANO POET DEAR, you are so sweet :]

Congrats guys :-)
And thanks for the HM,

Off topic, are those your nails, Memeee? I like them.

Congrats.
I love the poems this week !

Guys congrats!!! To all the winner's and HM's!!!

Judges - I don't envy you because the poems were so amazing I don't even know what to say!!! Loved them all.

Nana love you girl!!! :D

Off topic, Yes Noura they are ;-) and thanks, hehe

Thanks for the win, those involved :)

Congratulations winners and honorable mentions.
Great work, judges.

Jane

Hi again, it's Jane :)

I want to clarify that I was not meant to win this week. There was a tie breaker given when one should not have been, and it was an error of communication.
Apologies to all those involved, especially to poet on the piano, the rightful winner of this week's contest.

Congratulations! As per usual, the work produced by you lovely people never ceases to amaze me :) & thanks so much for the HM!

Congrats, gorgeous Winners & HM's. Thanks Nana and judges for the hardwork.

Thank you and...congratulations to Jane and Melissa. Also thanks to the three judges who took time to comment on both poems....really appreciate them. Thanks to Nana for putting this thread together week after week...you all rock!

Jane that is very awesome of you to say that! I must say that I really enjoyed that poem

Also congrats to poem on the piano!!!

x

Thank you, Lioness :)

Also, I meant to say earlier that the comments on my poem are wonderful. You guys took time to reflect and mull over the poem before writing your comments, and it shows. The effort put in by these 2 judges is more of a compliment to me than their comments themselves (though they are extremely flattering too). So thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh these poems are awwwwwwsome !!!!!! well done guys! x

Congratulations to everyone this week, I've enjoyed reading all the poems when I've been on uni breaks.