Winners! Tuesday Semptember 18, 2012

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my time zone :P

Congrats everyone! Well done for those who have made it to the front page!
Well done for the HMS, thanks judges for your hard work.
Thank you for my HM

Fistful of Memories
by Britt 7 + 10 = 17

Quantum Question
by One Man Clan 10 + 7= 17

Tapping Art
Tara Kay 10+4

Camping Indoors
by Ms. Sunshine 7+ 4=11

Undefined
by Novalyn Grace RR 10

Snow-scented Silhouettes
by: Poetess 10 points

Timeless Love
AngelDust 7

Winged mirrors
by Darren Connor 7

April
by Maple Tree 4

Live to Rise Again
by Poet on the Piano 4

Drink&Drive
EmilyAnn 4

COMMENTS:
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Fistful of Memories
by Britt

As a writer, we have the ability to allow the reader to feel our emotions and our pain. The author of this piece shared her darkness with us, in such a way, that I found myself crying at the end, for it shook me up and touched me deeply. This poem can touch many, because it's a painful reality that people can relate to, the survivors of physical abuse. The poem is simplistic enough to get the message across and yet it also has a hint of metaphors to explain the feelings of the author and how she chose to describe her feelings. It's not easy sharing darkness with the world, and I am in awe of the courage of the writer, for facing her darkness and sharing that darkness with us. The poem expresses her fear of hands in such a way; In the title, and throughout the poem that simply left me speechless. Awesome and powerful piece~

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This poem is so raw and so full of hurt and despair that I found I had tears in my eyes by the time I had finished reading.
Whilst the author does not make it clear, the tone of the opening lines suggest this has happened before, only this specific time she/he is talking about things that went much too far.
"you felt my skin was a vacation for your fists" This has to be one of the most devestating and emotional lines I have ever read within poetry. I am assuming from the general content of the poem the author is talking about an ex partner, which I am sure there are far too many domestic violence victims whom can agree with this. However, I also believe so many other people can relate, too, only with another person instead of 'just' specifically a partner/ex partner.
That is partly what makes this poem so tragic-you can clearly feel the author's pain and feel such sympathy for them as well as horror that this happened, but it also makes you realize just how common this problem is, if not always apperant.

The mentioning of tigers on toes was unclear to me upon first reading this poem, after reading a second time however, I believe it may possibly be referring to a nail colour varnish, possibly one with a personal meaning to the author?

The closing is so overwhelmingly heart wrenching-no person should be afraid of something such as this, and yet the author clearly manages to show just how much they are still affected and unable to move forward from their emotions, even if they have moved on from the person that caused this pain. It's true that emotional scars heal much less quickly than the physical ones and the author does an excellent job at showing that within this entire piece.

The only suggestion I would have here is to make the tigers on toes reference a little clearer for the readers. Other than that though, this is truly an incredible piece of poetry.

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Tapping Art
Tara Kay

I love the word choice here, it illustrates so much with such common even bland every day words. You gave them such an extra passion, and extra meaning, and its lovely. Your descriptions are amazing. They are so vivid, its lovely. It's a short piece, but it manages to say so much. The flow was stunning, I love how smooth it was. Excellent job at expressing and showing your voice, its very clear in this piece.

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I admire poetry that is mixed with the subject of a painting. To me art and poetry are the same, only on canvas is paint and paper is words. The author of this elegant poem has created a poetic painting that is breathtaking. I love the format and the wording is very tasteful. To work emotions and intertwine them within is a difficult thing to do in poetry and I find this piece very captivating. From a technical view point this poem is brilliant.
From an emotional view I was caught up in emotions I too have felt while writing.
There were many lines that caught my attention in this poem, but these lines here are what really got to me, and made this piece.

"Brush emotion onto a woman's eyes
and leave the tears to draw their own story"

Allot can be said about the look of an eye, for you can read the emotions in delicate detail, such as a painted line on canvas. The emotions are there in plain sight, and the "tears" will highlight the path to the message.

I can't speak enough about this poem. Beautiful piece indeed!

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Quantum Question

I have not read too much poetry for a long time, but what a poem to come back to and make me realize and remember why I love poetry so much!

The first line of this poem had me instantly intriqued for two reasons:
1) The 'How the bleep' had a slight humorous effect for me and made me smile. It was like the author wanted to clearly state his/her irritation at something yet wished to remain clean whilst doing so.
2) As a Sheldon Cooper fan the reference to quantum physics added a slightly personal touch for me as the reader and again made me smile.

These two reasons made me want to read further on, as it held such a promising start.
The second line was such a contrast from the first! Whilst the opening seemed to be somewhat light hearted, the second line hit me like a slap in the face.

"and as long as we have, we are quiet"
The fact that this is completely true makes these few words simply heart breaking. As a whole, society is incredibly selfish, given a few very rare individual exceptions and these words make me want to weep. It makes me as the reader wonder what hope we have as a nation if we only care for ourselves and not those in need.

Sixth stanza, first two lines: Threw me a little as they did not rhyme while the rest of the poem does and it altered the flow a little. That was the only bad thing I found within this poem.

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The contrast between poverty and playing cards was so unique in its invention and something that I found I really enoyed.

The closing lines, wow. The first two were written with such elegance and meaning and really evoked some deep thoughts for me. Too often, we do blame both parties, without realizing that one may have more oppurtunity to resolve the problem than the other. This is something I have never really considered before and it definitely makes the reader question and think on things.

Aside from the one exception I previously stated, I found this to flow just beautifully and as someone who enjoys reading things that make me really think, question and explore each and every angle, no matter what the situation is, I found this to be extremely thought provoking and moving.

Generally, I am not a fan of rhyming poetry as of late, much preferring free verse or formed. This however, has definitely become of my favourites.

I do not believe I have had the pleasure of reading this author's work before, however I can certainly say that I will be doing so in the future.

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Camping Indoors
by Ms. SunShine

First I must say, congrats because I see this was a club challenge in which you must have done well in. Secondly, this opening stanza got me very excited to read, simply because it made me curious. I was so curious as to where would she go with a camping prompt. Absolutely perfect choice, to use it at as a metaphor for camping in the hills of one's arrogance. I loved the personified use of "arrogance" because the word hills brought life to "camp". Intrigued me from the very beginning. I loved the sad tone to this, the details you used, describing what could really happen while camping, and relating it to a relationship with someone. Very creative. I was pleased to read this because it was a breath of fresh air so to say. An interesting topic which we don't see very often, and it was molded into something brilliant.

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What's too easy to spot within these lines is the writers rebelliousness, how she set a defying tone throughout the journey of camping close to her lovers arrogance, showing us that the 2nd half of this love equation doesn't share the same commitments she does, to end it beautifully the same way she decided to start with, Defiance, as she states the announcement of leaving him by never going camping again, Now, Why I honestly picked this? The uniqueness and remarkable skill that this particular poet possess, She was challenged to write a poem about camping, instead, she delivered a sad love journey
Through the idea of camping, and I'm willing to bet that not a lot of us would be able to do just that
Worthy of a win? In my honest opinion, any day.

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Desires of Dusk
by Poet on the Piano

This author is so talented that she makes my mouth drop! The intensity of this poem is beyond exciting and in my interpretation it made me feel like an evening drive through an open road with a beautiful sunset as a back drop. I really admire the visual display that I got with this poem. Another feeling I got as I read this poem a second time was the sunset drive is a metaphor for the emotions of wanting to be free and yet, not feeling alive. Words such as "windows being closed" but her soul yearns to be a bit more alive than she is. What a beautiful poem this is. Each time I read this I get more out of it than I have the time before. Beautifully crafted and elegant piece!

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Drink&Drive
EmilyAnn

This piece is well written, it has story, voice, and some technical aspects too. The word choice was well used. The structure was wonderfuly executed, especially with the flow. I like how it tells a story, gives warning, and has heart. Those are some hard techniques to have in one single coherent piece. Magnificent job.

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Timeless Love
AngelDust

A sweet well written piece. I really like the simplistic feel to this one, as well as the nice style choice. The words told not only of the emotion but of their own language, soul, heart, whatever you'd like to call it. Whoever this was written for (if anyone) should feel honored. I love how you penned a piece that is so strong yet relatable for so many people. I really enjoyed reading this piece. I think you penned something spectacular.

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Undefined
by Novalyn Grace

This poem was very unique for me to come across. Within it, was not just mere lines to a poem, there was a story. I don't often come across a poem where it sounds like a poetic story, it's usually one or the other. This was well combined! I loved the eerie beginning few stanzas, they raised goose bumps on my arms .
"afternoon light punctures my iris as I lift the blinds"

^ this line did so much for me. I don't know how anyone else could describe this any better, perfect descriptions as one looks out their window when it's too bright. I loved how this wasn't stated simply, where you could have said sun, you used afternoon light, or you could have said shines in my eyes, but you state "punctures my iris", that really is just beautiful wording.

its pages smell of the candy you sent that summer,
melted on my doorstop in their vibrant plastic beds.
the instinct to breathe deeper braids through my ribcage

^ this was my favorite part of all, again just more perfect imagery, just like a good story would do to ones mind, All I could picture was a boy leaving a box of chocolates to melt at the doorstep. Also, "Braid through my ribcage" was such a nice touch, your use of braid really added a lot to that line.
Over all, I was fascinated when reading this, I read it a couple times over to understand the story because at first read, one is so overwhelmed by the perfect use of metaphors. Well done!

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April
by Maple Tree

Maple, what you have done to "April" in this piece is very inspiring. To write of a month is often hard for people, where they'll use it to describe tragedy, which could be found in this piece. However when I read it, I found frustration, and annoyance that this month brings you weather you dislike, and creates an atmosphere you just don't wish to be a part of. Amazing personification. I also would like to add, I loved how you brought in another month, October, to compare seasons, and to compare why won is better than the other, better yet, to say what exactly it is that makes you hate April. Its because it doesn't offer you the comfort other months could do for you. Your ending words were picture perfect, "glorious misfortune", who would of thought those two words put together could be so beautiful and powerful to describe a Month? Well done!
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Snow-scented Silhouettes

Between the distressing tone that is present throughout the entire verse, and all the heartbreaking metaphors this poet have provided, I honestly fell in love with this poem, The introducing lines indicated the presence of snow which only adds sadness to the atmosphere, then, the presence of your father in everything that you do or see entangled in all the rain drops, It was heart aching to read,
Yet I couldn't take my eyes away from it, in the coming lines, you've mentioned Naboko, whom I had to Google out, but I love the creativity in this, the fact that you introduced a well known poet and then mentioned that even someone from his magnitude would be deeply affected by your misfortune
Was very creative and it served your piece well,
This poem is touching, And I loved how you left your readers guessing between the lines of how similar you to your father. May his soul RIP and I hope you continue to pin down this mind-dazzling poetry

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Winged Mirrors

To begin with, I love inspirational poems, ones that start with a shout of desperation and end with
A sigh of gratitude, as if, Darren finally figured out what needs to be done in his life,
The first few lines were truly remarkable; I honestly found the description of rats carrying fast-spreading
Plagues very cleaver, also, the questions asked in the second santanza are mind-blowing and have left me wondering the same way the writer wondered, what's one's purpose? And where do they belong in this world? And then he introduced the presence of his little daughter which have directed him to the right path in life, setting goals, and having a clear destination to reach, overall, it's a very good poem and it Is worthy of praise.

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Live to Rise Again
by Poet on the Piano

This poem honestly confused me upon reading it the first time. When I saw the author's note at the bottom that it was one of the poems written for the recent Hunger Games contest, it made so much more sense!

"they'll make me a militant, mama, but they won't gain my heart..." Honestly, in my opinion, these lines made the entire poem. They were so moving and emotional and whilst the emotion within these words moved me more than I can explain, I found I just loved the last part-it reminded me of someone forced to do something they did not wish to do yet remaining so strong and courageous throughout and refusing to change for anyone. There is not many people with that kind of strength and these lines make me aspire to be one of those people.

The sudden transistion from talking to the mother and then to the father and brother was powerful and emotional. It shows the reader that the author has several close connexions and despite knowing what must be done, they value their family first and foremost, which is not something you often see.

What astounded me the most was the 'unravelling memories for seventeen years.' Upon this, I checked out the authors profile to see if this was indeed their age and was literally awed that they had managed to write such an incredibly powerful piece of poetry!

"Live so I may defy." This is the other line I believe made this poem so intense. Following the words before this was just simply brilliant. Something that really makes as the reader think on these words and once I had turned theem around in my mind a few times it actually made me smile. It brought me back to my earlier definition of refusing to change for anyone but yourself.

Honestly, whilst I liked the closing lines I do not feel they hold as much power as the rest of the poem. It is still very moving and emotional and fits the general context beautifully, but I do believe the previous lines are much more intense. This is what I would think about changing.

Congratulations Winners & HMs.

Thank you, judges!

You're awesome, Nana.

Congrats winners, no confusion this time.

Thanks for my HM

what awesome poetry again all round.

Thank You Judges!!
Nominators and Nana
and congrats to the other winners and all the HM's :)

Well done winners/hms and good to see all the votes counted for and good comments on the poems

Thanks everyone and congrats to the other winners & HMs :)

Seriously, those some of the best comments ever, and I have tears in my eyes reading them.. so thank you.

My poem is about an abusive ex, he was just a digusting person and I believe he brought out the worst in me. I didn't like who I was when I was with him. The tiger toes reference is about my toe nail polish lol.. I don't know how to make it obvious in my poem because there is a bit of a backstory..

My ex didn't let me do anything fun or pretty to myself. I couldn't cut my hair, and my nails/toenails couldn't be painted (because it's drawing attention to myself, and that was a "no-no").

I recently got a pedicure and my toes are orange with black tiger stripes on them, and some sparkly bling to accentuate. I showed my husband and he laughed at me, and said I'm so ferocious now with my tiger toes. It made me realize that my life is so much better and different than it was years ago. I can do simple things like paint my toenails and not worry about being abused over it.. something no human should ever have to think twice about doing.

So the reference shows that I laugh as though I know now I have it 150% better than I had it before.. but I still feel the pain and am still actively trying to heal that wound.

Rambleramble. Sorry ;)

You go girl!!! You're strong and better than what he reduced you to. It took a lot of courage to open up like that.

Congratulations all!!! Poems were well deserved and all awesome.

Nana you beautiful thing :">

x

:( ^ tell him I'm to chop his fingers when I see him.
show him how much attention drawing that would be.
Jerk.

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thanks guys :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NANA! I, thankfully, never see him (crossing fingers I'm not jinxing myself here!) and so I won't be telling him.. but feel free if you ever do lol

Congrats winners!! I've read every one of those poems listed and they are awesommmeee

Congrats everyone!!! Amazing job :)
Thank you kindly to the judges and for the HM's.....they were really constructive comments.

Congrats winners, your poems are fantastic.

As always a massive thanks to our judges and Nana for their dedication.

Congratulations to the Winners!! Beautiful poetry!!
Congrats to the Hm's as well, and thank you for the Hm- really appreciate the lovely comment :-)

Congrulations and thank you for the indepth comments on my poem, Although I honestly believe there were a couple of more deserving poems
great picks everyone

Congratulations guys amaaaazing pieces :-))

Awesome work winners and HMs :) Way to go!

Congratulations all =)

Congrats winners and HMs. There was a slew of great poetry this week. Aweome new judges...a big thank you too.

Let us fnot forget...

Miss Lebanon for all you do!!

Congratulations winners and HMs

'One man clan'

your piece had every right to win and was up there with the best of this week.