Birthday in tears 4.40am :'(

Feeling so lonely and vulnerable . As tears start to roll down my checks and into my pillow as I right this... It hurts because today is my birthday and nobody cares . No calls from anyone not even a special friend. My dad calls me at 3am only to scream at me and telling me when he gets home I will hear him. Geez I thought u were going to call to congratulate me. I don't know if anyone would read this or even care but I'm one step of taking my life away. My life seems so meaning and I'm all alone how I wish I can go back 3years ago I was the happiest girl cause I know I had someone whom I meant everything to. Aww how I wish I had him he always knew what to say. But as for now my birthday sure hasn't been the way I planned it.. What a great way to start my birthday in tears :'(

Hey dear! Let me start by wishing you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. And beg you to forget about the tears of earlier. Well i have had screw ups begin a lot of things for me like birthdays, new years and stuff, like this funny story, i was like 9 on a new years day, i was outside the house with my younger sister, and it was so early in the morning, not really sure what or who started the chase, but all i remember was that i fell so bad, i brused so nastily, and i cried like hell cos i was yelled at for running lol not even sure what i hoped to achive with that story, but you have another 364 days to change whatever happened this morning if you dont like it, and feel really good, achive things, and a lot more. But trust me baby if you take your life away, that would be you quitting, and common, i expect you to be bigger and better than that, and wipe those tears, or cry them all out either way, get up with a dry face, and make the next 364 days count baby. The birthday is not going the way you want it, figure something else out, and make it count.

P.s i hope you have a happy day

Awww thanxs ... && I get scream a lot when I would fall of trip my parents would say its because you don't walk right. Kinda sucks because I am the one who always buy them their cake or give my whole family a gift but when it's my bday it's like the whole world is in a bad mood and kinda ruins my day. Crying again. And I know taking my life away wouldn't change anything my family would probably get mad cause I would bring the house to a lower value or thy would have to pay for funural stuff like that. But would be happy about the money thy would get for my lifeinsurance ... But on all my bdays I can't seem to remember a birthday that was perfect thy we're All a complete mess except now I am single and have no one to cheer me up or a shoulder to cry on...
But thanks for the advice really means a lot :) && I would try to make all my 22nd year a whole better one. Starting tomorrow cause today is pretty much ruin :(

Hey dear.. happy birthday sweets and I and debora are here to cheer u up sweetheart... If u want I cud even sing a song or just anything... And yes, u made a good decision of not quitting up cuz it wouldnt make a difference and u have so many good days to cum hun... Just smile.on stupid things, live crazily, cuz life cums once and Pls smile dear... life is the only place where u can get hurt... isnt it... so just chill hun:)
smile for now... i need your giggles to.be heard in this corner as well...ok:)))

Aww sugar, just cry it all out, and i dont want you calling today ruined, cos we still do have time turn it around, trust me sugar, once you run out of tears you would laugh. And yes wise choice, not making anybody hapier out of your lifeassurance dear. So lets see, what fun stuff can you do today, and anything that rymes with sulking is out of the list i.e ice cream, or alcohol, except is cos you do wanna have fun with them. Welll think of something dear, and take care of yourself. I want your next message to be happy :)

Awww thank you both my birthday was a complete disaster. Nothing went right I was gonna spend it with a friend but last moment he said he couldn't . And the rest of my friends had plans so I didn't do anything :( it kinda really sucks because I only live my life and yet I feel it's just slipping away. Everything in my life is falling apart I am usually pretty good with handling problems but i dont know for reason I am ready to give up and say f-it all and everyone cause I now realize I have NO ONE. And things with my dad aren't go thy are still pretty bad. I really do wish I would sometimes just die so I would stop suffering, having Family yell and scream at me all the time really hurts because if my own family doesn't treat me right or show me they love me who will...

After just talking with a friend two nights ago who was in the hospital because he tried to take his life because he was fired from a job which he was struggling with and had been given another job...I don't think Killing yourself is the answer, it only creates another problem.

ending your life is the worst possible solution to any problem, I think you should sit down with someone a close friend, a shrink, or anyone who is able to help you. I look at a friend who, I had to look at in the same sentence and let them know that he was no longer employee'd (my employees or whatever they are) but then to have a message sent to a girl he likes who has a bf and saying he's going to end it, run to his mother(who works in the same building) and tell her to rush home that her son is most likely going to take his life and leave his son without a father.

I think that you should just calm down and if you need anyone to talk to, You can always inbox me. I'm pretty open to conversation if you have no one to talk to, coming from a really dark place myself I can assure you the world will have it's bad days and it's good days, hopefully you're able to find a good day soon.

Happy Belated birthday!

^^ awww thanks... Never have I been a suicidel person I get a paper cut and I freak out cause it hurts pretty bad. But sometimes I really wish I was just dead it would be easier on my family and me. But I realize no one said life would be easy and sruggle is just part of life. I had some really bad days but I also had some good days.. It's just during those bad day I get really depressed and sad like today. Someone I been kinda dating decided to stop talking to or texting just because I decided not to have sex. Yess I am sad cause I miss him but i see it as it better to find out soon in a relationship then later on to find out he cheated.. I cried cause I miss him I really do cause he made me believe he was different, but I guess he wasn't ...

And as for you friend that kinda really sucks taking your own life away. He must have been going throw a lot to actually go thought it . I personally believe that I can't.. I want to actually live a long healthy happy life . So I need to stop worry about others so much and worry about my happiness...

And thanks for your advice