Can I ask...

Are the majority of muslims still required to have arranged marriages or are you free to choose? Does it depend on the country you live in how much freedom you have etc?

What do you mean by arranged marriages?

Abed; arranged marriages = zawej mdabar, ahel bi5atro 3aros la ebnon etc..

I think it depends on the country 100 %...

Some people from my family proposed as an arrangement, but that wasn't like a Muslim thing as much as they saw we fit, and since they know me well..etc

But that's because we have a more opened culture, in some Islamic countries they have tougher customs and traditions. Girls are not to go out to meet guys in the 1st place, so hence their marriages are arranged with family members mostly ... if you know what I mean ?

But that's not how it is for All Muslims, it depends on the culture/country.

In Syria, in some villages men will have their mothers/ sisters finding good mutuals for their sons, I know more than 3 families who have moved from Syria to Lebanon neighboring my uncle, they hold on to such beliefs and traditions, although on the other hand this is not how all Syrian people live, it mostly depends on the place, I believe.

oh on a side note: in Islam, no matter if arranged or not, girls cannot be forced to marry someone, if they don't say "yes" their won't be a marriage. Bu that doesn't mean that somewhere somehow, some women are not forced to agree. But that's a different subject.

I don't mean to offend anyone....I was totally looking for something else when I came across this website...it was a dating agency for muslims...I just didn;t know if you were allowed to chose your own partner or what?

LMAO

There are porn dating websites too, sex, Christians, Atheist, lol! it did not stop on Muslims...so it wont offend anyone

http://www.cmatch.com/

http://trendlists.com/the-best/atheist-dating-sites.html

you can google anything you are looking for.

arranged marriages aren't just linked to Muslims, as far as I am concerned :P

so as I said, depends on the culture and the country.

Wha does that mean LP...I'm trying to learn a little more of your culture and that's all you have to say LMAO???? Sorry if my question appeared naive..it was still a question and....your LMAO wasn't an adequate answer....

Well somehow I understand Abed's reaction, choosing your partner etc, Islam is not a culture, Hellon, so that's too general, Islam is a religion where men and women are free to choose the partner of their lifetime.

What I said was, every country has it's own culture and traditions, less personal freedom at certain points, but that doesn't mean that they are forced to marry an X person.

I have seen a trend lately, as if Islam is out of the world lol, Muslims don't live in a bottle you know.

Just like Muslims wear veil, Nuns (example) in Christianity do wear a full veiled form as well, so it should be equally accepted and understood.

Also just like for religious Christians and Orthodoxies if that's how it's spelled, having sex before marriage is a sin, Muslims believe so..bla bla I feel a bit of exaggeration in trying to understand some of the Islamic roles and functions, because I see almost same traditions and the not-acceptable-to-do actions in other religions, if not more.

I thought you were joking concerning your 2nd question.

And the shining Nana answered you though I think it doesn't need an answer.

Yes! Lots of exaggeration... And it's kind of funny.

As you said, not only Muslim women wear a veil.

There are the Christian Catholic nuns, Hindus, Muslims, Sabians, and Orthodox Jews.... though each wear it in a different manner.

Well, ya I don't always understand the inquires, in some religions you cannot divorce, you cannot even get married if you want to dedicate your life for God. And in some other cultures you aught to go through some painful trials to see if you're eligible to be a Groom.

Yet, many people have problems with Islam specifically, why do they wear veil, why do they pray 5 times a day :O, how come they fast. bla bla bla

I think Islam, in fact is one of the easiest religions on people. But that depends on how others want to see it.

Nuns don't marry.

Hellon.
I am married to a Muslim man from Lebanon :) He was married before- I will ask him about what you have asked in this thread later this afternoon, I am pretty sure the first one was an arranged marriage...

Yes and ask him if he was forced to marry her, Connie :]

And I am saying forced, because when saying " if you were allowed to chose your own partner or what?"

it sounds like an arranged marriage is when someone is forced to get married to someone who they did not choose, because whoever arranged it, when in fact it's different, and no doubt depends on the country.

just like as I said, someone proposed for me as an arranged married by family members who saw that we fit, and that does not define Muslims, nor Islam, that is called Culture. And in every single country in the world I am sure, there is something called an arranged marriage. XD

Yes Miss Lebanon I shall ask...

but I think there is quite a big difference between a marriage arranged by family and force.

Will let you know what he says :)

Yes ofcourse, but the one thing to be sure of, Islam as a religion does not tolerate marriage by force. Whether people as individuals tolerate it and act upon it, is a different matter. Just my other 2 cents :P

It does depend on country and culture if you have an arranged marriage, there are some who are forced without there will for family sake but that's mostly in some muslim countries. But when your talking about arranged marriage it more or less means your parents look for a suitable girl for there son and vice versa.

In the Quran it does state that when getting married it should be the kids choice on who they get married to within religion (so to another muslim), if its a non muslim then that person would have to convert to Islam before hand, but this is not always the case as it depends if the intentions of converting is primary based on finding peace in a religion and NOT because you want to be with someone as that doesn't make any sense. Just to follow up on that most muslims who are with a non muslim are open minded (especially in the west) for the girl not to convert if she wishes not to so if it leads to marriage they would teach kids about both religions and make them decide for them self's what they want to follow.

Here in the UK, its more or less knowing someone through a friend or just meeting someone when your out for a meal..etc even tho were not allowed to have girlfriend boyfriend relationship it more or less tends to be a close friendship where you know its leading to marriage and when that time comes you both would be happy and then family would get involved then you get married. You would meet someone and get to know them first so you both know what the other person is like and what your intentions are in the long term...etc

I want an Arab husband :(

Wanna meet one of my brothers ? lol hehe :P both are currently single :P

Are they as beautiful as you?? do they have thick arab features? like the big brown eyes gorgeous brows and thick lips?? BRING BOTH OF THEM........ OK

I thought you were the only child, Nana! :p

*raises an eyebrow*

uhmmm.... truee nana...

where did these brotgers ciome from?? he he

no wait, i have heard her say she is her mom
"only daughter" so.....

Hmmmm....... BUSTED! :p

ONLY DAUGHTER you people, one girl TWO boys lmao!! did you forget Abed when I showed you my brothers poem ? Broken Finger :P

And yes they are good looking and have great careers :P

Holrite.........!!

Imma go get them...

I am going to marry someone from a faraway exotic culture and none of ya'll opinions will phaze me .,.,.,!!!

I am a donut!!
shout out to my haterz sorry that you couldn't glaze me! hmm

Hahahahaah..

Hellon, the majority of marriages in the world (by numbers are arranged......laugh out loud if you want), per UNICEF research:
90% in India and 55% in the World.
http://www.statisticbrain.com/arranged-marriage-statistics/

The Muslim World is no different. But as a large number of people live in the Indian subcontinent the statistics are very lopsided for people from over there, Hindu's or Muslims. The culture they inherit makes them shy as youngsters and the segregation too, so if there were no family (or other) matchmakers to introduce them to each other, many would remain unmarried, or the sex crime rate will soar, unbelievably.
However, things are fast changing as children become educated. I bet in <20 years the statistics will be <30%.

More later.....

Lostlove1

did you convert?. .were you asked to convert?

No offense, just curious. One of my distant cousin married into Islam. She was forced to convert. Else the marriage would have been deemed as invalid. Being a vegetarian she has to cook non vegetarian food. Although I blame her for not choosing her partner wisely. But I am building up statistics. Not all individuals face the same situation. And I am not condemning all religious followers for one individuals mistake. Just curious.

I stay in India and we are not too much into wearing a veil and arranged marriages... there are few muslim states in India who emphasize on arrange marriages... Yes we are firm believers of Islam and love our religion but due to our rational and modern lifestyle, We are free to choose our soulmates...
And yes, In Islam, we are never forced to marry anyone... We are always asked for our consent...
And if a person is married to a muslim, we are not forced but it is mandatory to convert... We value the converted individuals... My aunt was a non-muslim and converted to Islam after she got married to my uncle but she follows both....And is always keen to follow our rituals and customs...:)

^ Oh yes, India does not emphasis on covering the face, though many women by choice cover their heads. But no, nobody is forced to cover their face.

we are not forced but it is mandatory to convert.

^ Is it not as good as forcing? . .else the marriage isnt valid?

And if one wasn't loyal to his/her religion. . . no matter what they do, they cannot prove their loyalty to the converted religion. Such accusations can arise in the future family quarrels.

Converting does not change the fact that one was not born into that religion and will always belong to his/her own original religion. Sure on paper they would have converted, but they still were born into their own original religion. I am not religious, just cannot comprehend the logic behind all this.

And is always keen to follow our rituals and customs...:)

^ Nice point. There is an emphasis of arranged marriage into the same caste because the ancestors have been worshiping the gods in a certain fashion. There are some mandatory rituals to be performed by the elders of a family. The responsibilities are passed on from the old generation to the new, like parents to children. having someone familiar with the rituals and customs is advisable. Someone from different religion may or may not participate into the customs and rituals. But certain rituals can be completed as a family only. Thus the chain is broken.

This is what I have observed in general in most religions. At least here in my country.

Edit - Oh and are multiple marriages allowed in India?. . Haven't investigated into it yet. I am aware there are conditions in Islam for having more than one wife. But do Indian Islamic followers implement such idk. .rituals/customs? ..

"did you convert?. .were you asked to convert?"

^Well, in many orthodox religions outside Islam, the church/faith will not recognize/bless the marriage unless they convert. So directly or indirectly they are somehow coaxed to convert in these faiths:

Judaism
Orthodox Christians (Coptic Christians, Greek orthodox church).
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"Being a vegetarian she has to cook non vegetarian food. Although I blame her for not choosing her partner wisely."

^Gaurav: I would only blame her for failing to convince her husband that the Vegetarian lifestyle/food is the healthiest and one of the most delicious (Indian vegetarian) in the world. Ha-ha. No, I would not blame her for choosing a Muslim partner....love does not know religious or cultural boundaries, nor should one impose, but only respect one's decision.
--------------------
"I stay in India and we are not too much into wearing a veil and arranged marriages... there are few muslim states in India who emphasize on arrange marriages... "
^ Amreen, Indian Muslims are different, they are some of the most modern in their thinking, living in India, though I would disagree with your general statement. Most Indian Muslims are descendants of Hindu's who were forcibly converted when the Mughals invaded India, 800 years ago. They too have some form of arranged marriages, though by mutual consent, like most Hindu's.....by a form of "introduction" by family members or friends. But, other than seeing/meeting and sometimes conversing briefly with each other, they do not really have an opportunity to date, Western style, in most instances. Pre-marital sex and kissing are forbidden in both religions and cultures. However, that said, the young people from either faith who grow up in major cities (Delhi in particular) do date, go out and in many instances have essentially adopted the Western culture of dating, love and then marriage........but not so in 95% of the rest of the country, hence the reason for the odd-looking UNICEF researchers statistics.

Re: Arranged vs. love marriages, most people will find it difficult to understand this "In India, marriage is thought to be for life, and the divorce rate is extremely low. Only 1.1% of marriages in India result in a divorce compared with over 45.8% in the United States."
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage_in_the_Indian_subcontinent)
The real reason for this is as stated above..."marriage is thought to be for life" attitude, so divorce in these cultures is often considered an extreme option...a last resort when abuse outstrips decency. 74% (not all) of arranged marriages do find true love, shortly before or after getting married, in their union, a number which is surely less than 100% in a love marriage, but it outlasts the other group, for sure, as shown by the high divorce rates in the Western society.
So each has its pros and cons, people argue. Here in the West, they simply laugh at you (behind your back), when it is revealed you had an arranged marriage. Culture and traditions are hard to understand for Americans/Westerners, isn't it J... ?

^ ALS, you misunderstand. Or may be I did not write it correctly.

I do not mind that she chose an Islamic follower. I am all in for marrying into another religion or same gender. I blame her for choosing a man who would force her to do things she might not be comfortable with. Converting is fine by me. But cutting flesh isnt acceptable. That is all. I havent touched an egg my whole life. It would have been nice if her husband and in laws did not force her to cook non vegetarian.

She cannot go to temples. She has to fast a particular way. Must cook meat. Cows are holy to Hindus and she cooks it. Its like I dont know her anymore. Yes I will agree, love transcends all religions, does not distinguish between gender, accepts humility and compromises mutely. But it should not be one sided. She blindly chose a man. Regardless of his religion.

Gaurav, my sympathies for her enduring what is prohibited in Hinduism....cutting flesh, killing, eating eggs, but din't she give up Hinduism after marriage? If it was unwilling/by coercion, I fully agree with you. Yes, I also know some people who have been through the same, usually when they live in their husband's parental/joint family home. I am not sure why following your own Hindu faith while married to a Muslim is so unacceptable/forbidden in Islam.
However, if the two lived on their own and he was a reformed modern Muslim, this would not have been the case.

She left her home, her parents, her religion, her lifestyle and her relatives for him. Her husband should care more. She went against everyone to be with him. She has no where to go.

Why cant he convert?. .She did not force him, like he did her. Although apostasy in Islam is met with death penalty in many countries. Thus couple must take risks depending on the country.

A few months of romance and a life time of suffering. Choose wisely, live well.

Discussion on my relative might not be appropriate here. I mentioned it to bring forth an example. My posts are about difficulties that one might face after converting to another religion. I am not targeting Islam. Better clear that up. I gave an example based on a personal encounter with one incident, regardless of the religion. So, No offense ^^,

In Islam, if a Muslim man wants to marry a non-Muslim lady, it is allowed and it's not illegal or anything. When the woman is forced into Islam, it means that it's the husband's problem not Islam, Islam allows men to marry non-Muslim women.

On the other hand, Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men because the concept is that the children will carry the husband's name, he won't be a Muslim so the children won't be in return.

About arranged marriage, it exists here in Egypt, but it has nothing to do with the country, rather the traditions and culture of the family itself. My family wouldn't mind me marrying the guy I love, most of my friends are like that, and as long as we're both happy, then be it.
However, yes there exist families that indeed force their daughters/sons to marry someone they don't like. It's pain and it's completely unfair and pathetic though.

I read somewhere that Kahlil Gibran's book Spirits Rebellious had radical notions about women being given the right to chose and attempts were made to ban the book in many countries Gibran was to seek and unite the various religious sects, in a bid to abolish the religious snobbery, persecution and atrocities witnessed at his time.

In Islam, if a Muslim man wants to marry a non-Muslim lady, it is allowed and it's not illegal or anything. When the woman is forced into Islam, it means that it's the husband's problem not Islam, Islam allows men to marry non-Muslim women.
^
Love to agree to this Nema, and I can read your good intentions, as a modern Muslim, but the facts state otherwise in the Q'uran and its interpretations:

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/013-forced-conversion.htm

http://www.interfaithshaadi.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&id=19&Itemid=82

My bad...

My husbands 1st marriage was not an arranged marriage. Their families just knew one another for a long time. Time for this Raven to eat crow :)

I did not convert and neither did he. We respect one anothers religious beliefs. I think when you are in a inter-religious marriage you forget that aspect of one another. We observe each others holidays/holydays as well. When he does Ramadan I go hungry most of the time with him. He cuts our christmas tree and even bought me a sapphire and diamond cross, without even asking. :)
At night when we sleep he is not my muslim husband- just my husband.
Each religion has its own beliefs about God/Allah but something tells me. in the end, we will all stand before the same creator. When we do we will stand alone as a woman or man that lived on this planet, not as a muslim, christian, or Jew.
What is religion anyway except what was taught to us by our parents and g parents and what we were born into? I think it goes so much deeper than that.

I'm done and thanks.
Lostlove~

And that is exactly why 45% of American Muslims go and willingly marry outside their faith....they are reformed, and believe in love over religion, I hope in most instances.

But, that is not the case elsewhere, including my native country of origin unfortunately.

David, when you want an accurate interpretations for the Quraan, make sure you have the right copy in the 1st place, LOL. That link is so disappointingly funny.

So these what you so thought were facts; aren't :)
And

they are reformed, and believe in love over religion

^
I'm sad, that, this is how you see it. Reformed...hmmm it's ironic to see it that way, but I won't go there, it's your personal view.

I'll get it short to this point, Islam teaches you love, not religion over love, just because it gives values that doesn't mean it underestimates the love between one and another, it's silly to think otherwise. with all my respect to others insights, but it's not that tough. Once you have the will to understand, you just will.