Bullying

I have received a few PM's about my latest poem, "Amanda Todd", asking me to make a thread here about the issue... First of all thank you for the support (nominations, comments, Pm's, etc) I thought my poem was crap actually. I heard the story of this young girl, I bawled, I sat up in bed...til 4 a.m. Writing for her. Researching about bullying. I was completely crushed. Mostly because when I was her age, I did similar stupid things. Its my choice. My right to make my own decisions. They should not be made fun of or mocked. They should not lead someone to tell me to take my life. That happened to Amanda. They took it too far...So really, I just wrote not even in poetic form, well I tried to, but basically I was a blubbering mess, not thinking clearly and the feedback I have received here and on facebook has been incredible. So thank you.

I want to know what everyones thoughts are on this topic???

Amanda Todd was a 15 year old girl who killed herself on October 10 due to intense bullying.

Here is her story/final video if you havent heard/watched it yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOHXGNx-E7E

I feel so deeply hurt about this situation I know it happens daily. Bullying is no joke, it should be taken seriously. Those who are parents, teachers, please step in when you see this happening. Be aware of what your kids do online, who they hang out with, what they do in school. There are signs and we can help limit the bullying if we reach out when we see it.

Does anyone know of any organazations I can join to support bullying? I tried researching, but I suck at googling, I want a legit organazation. Or any place I can volunteer to help this issue?? You guys are better at finding facts than I am.

Also, if there is anyone out there who is being bullied, please PM me. Amanda stated in her video "I need someone". I am someone. I can be whatever you need. A friend, a mentor, an ear to let you vent. I don't even mind giving out my email or phone number for those who really need someone to listen to them, someone to help them. I care about human beings regardless of your race, of your weight, of your gender. We all bleed red. We all have feelings and its not fair to pick on people who don't deserve it..

Every one of us are strangers to someone, and although some people don't feel comfortable approaching strangers and interacting with them, I'd hope you'd do so on this situation. It could be a life or death situation. Lend a hand. Advice. A hug. Whatever you can, because EVERY ONE of us represent the future. Especially the younger generation. This world cant afford to lose lives like that. These kids could grow up to be Doctors, Lawyers, Presidents. Lets save them. Lets help.

Chelsey, I said it before that the world needs more like you, it's true. The poem you wrote was so heartfelt and touching...and the story of Amanda Todd is heartbreaking but they're are a lot of stories like this around, like 11 year old Karl Walker, who's story was told on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...

I don't think bullying will ever stop, but they're needs to be more support in schools for the victims, but it's not just children that are bullied, it happens everywhere.

I was bullied, without making this a sob story of my own, but I made it through, after self harm and attempted suicide, maybe the story would have been different if things had happened in other ways...
but the name calling hurts, and you can block stuff out but it's always there...I was teased for being short (I'm 4 foot 11), wearing glasses, being polite, a teachers pet...other stuff happened as well but maybe this isn't the place to talk about that...
I know I feel strongly about bullying, I hate it, and it needs to be addressed more.

I don't know about Organisations in USA apart from "Stand Together" but I'm not sure there exact role...
If I come across any, I'll let you know and share them.

Chelsey, once again, you are a true angel and it's a pleasure to know you.

Google this and you should have lots of sites that regard bullying:

organizations against bullying

This is the link for the National Bullying Prevention

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/nbpm/partners.asp

Tara I love you girl thank you for sharing your story. P.s I'm overly tall and think short people are cute ;)

Sylvia thanks so much, see I didnt see that one come up!

You know Chels my daughter was severely beaten up/ battered by a girl two years ago. She didn't tell me there were a boy and a girl bullying her since June. I only got to know in October
.When my daughter finally decided to tell the coordinator about their attitude, somebody told the girl who was much taller and stronger than my daughter. Needless to say what happened afterwards.
It took more than a month to make my daughter react again. She was numb and refused to go to school. She was afraid and ashamed.It was a very difficult moment in our lives. The girl also posted a lot of things on the internet saying that my daughter was a coward thats why she was afraid of going to school again and face her. Nowadays I understand all the harm that moment caused.She bottled up her feelings and now shes suffering the consequences but shes alive.
I blamed myself for what happened because I brought up her, telling her to be polite, to respect people, to be helpful and etc. I didn't teach her to fight, beat and use force to impose herself. What happened to my daughter was a knife in my heart. I have never felt so stupid in my whole life. Don't like to remember that. We all got hurt.
This month a twelve-year-old boy jumped from 5th floor at school here. Unfortunately He died. He had asked his mother to enrol him in another school because he didnt like the school he was but she didnt pay attention to him and he didn't mention that some boys were bullying him.
I hate bullying. People can't understand we are different and what differs us is what makes us unique and beautiful. People tease if you are thin, fat, tall, short, if you wear glasses or braces, if you shy, if you are not popular, if you are a nerd and etc. Teens are very cruel if they don't have parents who guide them and teach them the meaning of the word respect and acceptance.We don't have to like people, we have to respect them. We all are different and imperfect in so many ways.
Your poem touched me deeply because we have been there and I don't want any mother to feel what I felt. Suddenly my daughter became my victim but then I understood that I had done what was correct.I raised my girl to be a human being and not a caveman.
I don't know about organisations in US but there is bullyingCanada and I always get their newsletters. It is excellent. They have fantastic materials against bullying which can help any teacher or any other person interested in the issue.
Thanks for sharing such a great poem.

You are a beautiful soul, Chels. Caring that much made my love for you even deeper.

I have never been bullied, I don't even know what bullying really means, so if someone explains it more for me, I'd be thankful. I know some people who were, and I admit I'd never be able to be strong and go through it like they did.

Read the poem, liked it.

Aww Karla, bless her and you :( is there no one that befriended her? No one spoke up?...sigh*...in high school I invited new kids to sit with me at lunch, never saw anyone truly get bullied there was 2000 kids in my school too many to follow haha....but I thank you for sharing your story I bet it was tough, I hope it makes you both stronger people for going through it

<3

Thank you Noura I appreciate that...

Bullyig can be a number of things, physical or verbal....beating someone up, pushing them every time you see them, calling them a loser, fat, short, (its usually curse words that hurt worse, (b**ch, c**t, sl*t, etc)....stalking peoples web pages and making nasty comments, spreading rumors......all things that are unkind and disrespectful really.

I'm so glad you decided to run with this topic because I feel it's something that is out of control these days and....it's getting worse, not better.

I think people need to be more aware of what they say/do on these networks and be more aware of possible consequences of their actions both directly and indirectly. When the internet first came on the scene it wasn't facebook...think it was called my space back then? My daughter was 13 at the time and, I thought she was too young to have an account so...I said no to it but, one of her friends was allowed to open one and she posted a group photo of herself and some friends...my daughter was in this picture. It was a school photo so, the shirts had an emblem on the pocket. Easy for a stalker to find a pretty girl from that and...thats what happened. You see how innocent this was and yet it resulted in a lot of hassle that I needn't go into here. Like I say....look at the concequences to yourself and othere before you do anything online.

Not sure how you folks feel about kids learning martial arts as a way to avoid bullying, but this video is a good place to start if you think that works.

I know it does from personal experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7k-QpU6Y64

Hellon i thought my mom was annoying back then. However her horror stories and constant monitoring has scared me to death I was always cautious about giving out my full name and all that, and what I put online ...truthfully now that I'm grown I'm glad she was over protective. Definitely glad. I never had any issues and intend to keep it that way.

Id never agree with fighting HOWEVER in self defense, hell yes i'd love my kid to take martial arts because its the "bullied" that suffers....if my nerdy son was getting picked on for being smart and he got knocked to the ground by a punk, to be honest I'd be proud if he came home and said he whooped their butt when he stood up. Good for you. Defend yourself and what's yours. And they always pick on someone smaller than them. So its kind of awesome to see a bullied student whoop the "tough guys" butt. Thanks for the link!

Your mum was just doing her job Chels, obviously she done a good job of it too.

It worries me to see some members on here listing their email address and facebook acount on their profiles...I know it's not allowed but....still I come across them from time to time...that and a picture is a potential time bomb I fear.

Wonderful thread, Chels

When I grew up (1950s) I was bullied until I fought back - it was a way of life, I guess. I can say, though, that I never bullied anyone else, but got into a lot of fights over it. In fact my entire sense of justice was formed in response to it.

Re emails & Facebook accounts being posted: it is not allowed. Not because we worry about you adults, but because it signals that it is okay for kids.
Please report all instances of personal contact info being posted.

I've just read some of the comments that have been left after the video clip...OMG...there are some really sick people lurking around the internet....Iwanted to throw up.

When I was a lad, I think 9 I took some Karate classes, and I didn't take them because I was getting bullied but it ended up with me fighting more because of the training.

I thought I was Bruce Lee. No one would dare bully me, because I'd start throwing punches and kicks all over the place but some people like to fight and unfortunately I drew the attention of other kids who wanted fisty cuffs.

Ju jitsu isn't like that though, you don't learn punches or kicks. It is all about controlling your opponent and getting them to submit and quit their attacks. All police officers learn basic ju jitsu, they don't learn boxing.

The main point of the video I posted that I took away is that if you tell your child to "stand up" to the bullies, but you don't give them the physical tools to deal with the bully if things get physical, you are making the situation worse.

Your kid tries to verbally stand up for themselves and get beat up even more. Without the physical confidence to back up the words, they aren't going to succeed.

This is the most horrible thing. Never exam how bad the man can be, because he/she is going to excel all your expectations!!
I saw the video few days back, what a little thing under the boots of this ruthless horde of human being, all numb, with no feelings no conscience, no warmth, no sens of sympathy, this crowd of hyenas!!

I just watched the video and... it is heartbreaking.

I know I got used many times, however, was never followed or attacked. Oh my, I'd never stand it up. I had fights in high school, I guess most people did/do, still I never have been depressed because of them, not at all.

In my opinion, it's her parents faults. Her parents should have done something about it... like... really. If I was her mother, I'd go to her school and talk to whoever is responsible there, and if nobody cared or could stop it, I'd simply go and punch those b****es just like they did to my daughter! God...I'm sorry I'm just sad about the whole thing. Like...seriously, some cowards make fun of others thinking that they're only having fun and...I just want to ask them 'does destroying peoples lives make you feel like a boss?!' Jesus.

I, too, wish I were that somebody Amanda could talk to and spend Mondays with. I, too, am ready to help anyone who's being bullied. Man, that's truly disgusting. Kids should learn how to fight. I know mine will.

Chels said:"Aww Karla, bless her and you :( is there no one that befriended her? No one spoke up?...sigh*...in high school I invited new kids to sit with me at lunch, never saw anyone truly get bullied there was 2000 kids in my school too many to follow haha....but I thank you for sharing your story I bet it was tough, I hope it makes you both stronger people for going through it"

My daughter is a shy type. When the girl beat her, it was a group of classmates who saved her. She didn't do anything to defend herself. I guess she didn't know how to attack the girl.
The girl who beat my daughter thought she could do everything because she was rich. In fact, even the principal was afraid of doing something against the girl. I remember he suggested that my daughter should be transfered to another branch.Later I got to know he and the rest of the staff feared the girl's father.You see what happened? Everything changes when people have money. They think they can do whatever they want. They know they won't be punished. Impunity as far as I am concerned is an invitation to further crimes. So in a way I pity that girl for she is the result of an irresponsible father/ mother. Later she got involved in another episode at school again and her father instead of doing what he was supposed to do as a caring parent, he threatened the woman she had disrespected, trying to assert himself through his money and social position.Poor man.

Yeah Hellon do you believe the bullying is going on after she's dead? She can't even rest peacefully without these idiots messing with her.

Kevin I know nothing of martial arts but when i have children I want to become super involved with it....nothing wrong with teaching your kid to defend themselves.

And karla...omg what a douchebag principal I would have been furious. Stand up for what's right don't be afraid of people with money. Ugh!