Winners Monday, November 05, 2012

Congrats guys! Well done for the HM's.
Thanks judges for everything, and Nana ofcourse.

Tie on 3rd place, site broke it, as usuall.

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VOTES:
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Spineless
by Melpomene 10+7= 17 points

Leather
by Twiggy 4+7= 11 points

Franken Scattered
by Maple Tree 10
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HM's

A Glimpse of Life
by Xanthe 10

Lillies of the Nile
by Karla 10

Le Charnier
by Xanthe 10

My Bed's Corner
by Everlasting 7

Sleeping With The Enemy
by Sibyllene 7

Red Riding Hood 7
by Wild flower

The Role of November
by Chelsey 4

Writer's Block 4
by Dreamofolwin

Fleur-de-Lis
by Hellon 4

Anemone Eyes
by Hannah Lizette 4

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COMMENTS
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Spineless
by Melpomene

A true artist with words - she creates a piece of art about art (in a sense). This poem has so much to it.. the images are strong and Mel plays to so many different senses with tastes and scents alike. I love how her poetry is always so original and so personal to her and her surroundings, it makes me feel like I've got a glimpse into another world. The structure was interesting and I love that she plays around with structure with each poem she writes.. she has no restrictions. Reading through this poem, admittedly, has me a little confused as she's thrown so many things into one, but it's done so well. I can't help but rave about this piece.-10

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Mel, your poetry is always unique. You always surprise me with your style. I really liked the combination of food and love here and how you separated your poem into two parts to portray two different people, taking off their romantic masks, revealing them as two common human beings. Your poem made me think of Shakespeare's poem "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Day?" for its anti-romantic ideas:" I stopped thinking you were sweet when I started
savouring your touch like the last banana slice in a
sugar filled yogurt". However, I feel a sad tone as if the two lovers were not able to make things happen: " I am the low fat everything that faded the softness of my curves, an expiry date, spilt milk and the red lights that have kept us from designing an atlas together."
Your poem evokes a lot of sensory experiences: we feel, we see, we smell, we touch, we taste.I felt as if I was inside a film and I must admit it was a lovely experience.Your piece paint pictures for the reader. It is sublime. The language is simple, and concrete and the attitude of the speaker towards the subject is ironic and detached sometimes but sad some others. We feel the disappointment in-between lines and comprehend "the spineless poems". When the seeds of love are not firmly sowed as they have to be so that love can grow stronger, it is spineless. However, I do also feel that spineless here can be a good adjective to define the speaker: somebody too afraid to allow himself/herself to be carried away by the waves of a feeling difficult to accept and understand. Great work Mel.-7

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Leather
by Twiggy

Twiggy what you created here was the shortest most profound masterpieces I don't think I've ever come across before. Your metaphors flowed so nicely together, it all made sense, it all spoke so powerfully.
"My soul's a self indulgent poetess;
a lamb that slaughters
the shepherds" - These lines will forever stick in my heart, they will always be remembered. Excellently stated.

I loved your title, and the unique way of describing ridding someone to spare your pain, but how you still hold onto them (gloves), their memory.. I didn't expect that when reading the title which is why titles are so important because they should intrigue your reader as you have done with yours.
Also, the use of "abortion" made me nervous because that is such a touchy subject with people, I was scared when reading that ending stanza, wasn't sure where you were going with it, but I loved it! Rather than using simple words like "Kill" or "death", aborting pain before you birth it was just addiction to be honest. It made me wish the poem was longer because you kept coming up with phrases that were so interesting. Well done!-7

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I just have to say how much I adored the use of ox heart and lambs that slaughter shepards here. What unique wording and such a twist to the usual, creating astounding visuals.

The closing lines are, in my opinion, one of the best closings I have so far come across.
The metaphors and hidden meanings behind this are phrased in such a unique way and really make the reader sit back and think about it, it did with me at least.

I find it interesting that the author's view throughout this appears to be somewhat pessimistic and yet they manage to capture something I am sure many of us can find relateable.

I don't recall seeing this author's work before, but I will say that this poem makes me want to read more of his/her's. Had the author not used so many unnecessary words repeatedly, such as I, I would have scored higher-4

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Franken Scattered
by Maple Tree

At first glance I was unsure if it was the recent hurricane that inspired this, after seeing other comments I see I am not the only one that thought this. I found that I enjoyed how the author is able to use something so tragic to create such an emotional and moving piece of writing, and I did like the sublte alliteration of puffy palms.

Whilst I enjoyed the thought of a hurriane in ones mind, I'm not too keen on the closing line, I just felt that it wasn't as emotional as the rest of the piece as I found it to border on cliche the way the author phrased his/her thoughts here.
That was the only line I wasn't sure about in this poem, and I think the author did a lovely job at expressing their thoughts throughout this.

Again, I applaud how something so sad can create such a beautiful piece of writing-10

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A Glimpse of Life
by Xanthe

Xanthe, I have read your work often and within your poetry there is usually this abstractness that gets one to turn their head and think about what it is you are trying to get across. In this particular poem, I felt that you didn't wish to dress up your words as much, that you wished to reveal it more clear and simply than previous poems, and I feel that this turned out to be the saddest, and incredible poems yet.
Your opening stanza was just beautiful. The over used tissue metaphor really fitting for the scene and tone of this poem, and I loved how you stated there will be no remedy for this kind of breaking.
This is such a heart aching poem, its clear you are watching someone slowly die which is the worse to go through but you described this moment amazingly.

"Even the sky has vanished
for a moment,
leaving a void
that not even humanity's greed
could fill."
^ this was my favorite stanza. It really describes your emptiness well and your hopelessness for moving forward..

Your last line was an Epic way to end this poem. A lot of times, the clearest images are perceived in the dark, when one hits rock bottom. Beautifully penned my friend.-10

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Sleeping With The Enemy
by Sibyllene

As Sibyllene is one of my favorite writers (of all time), I can't help but salivate over her poetry every time a new piece pops up, and this was no exception. She has an old-time way about her writing with just enough modern(ness) to it that piques everyone's interest. The poem has such an interesting tale to it, that's what she does. She takes stories, happy, sad, anything, and creates soft, gut wrenching pieces, beautiful pictures of words. I couldn't love this poem more.-7

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The Role of November
by Chelsey

One of the most emotional poems I've read in a very long time, I couldn't help but spotlight this piece. I have such a personal connection, a personal heartbreak to this poem that every time I've read these words I can't help but feel tears. The poem itself was incredibly well written, which is something that can be hard to do when there is so much emotion in it. The story of going throughout the year with different ideas and pieces kept it interesting and made you wanting more. I can't help but love "nuzzling against November's chest", what a beautiful thought. I could go more into this poem but I feel it's just too personal to do through a judging comment. :) Beautifully written.-4

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Lillies of the Nile
by Karla

This poem gave me shivers... because the elegance of it was so enchanting and yet at the end I was crying. When a poem can do that, move you to tears, its magical in it's own right. Karla took me to the rooftop with her feelings. She crafted a lost love poem filled with enchanting imagery and beauty.
The ending was breathtaking! Sometimes, the past memories can make a "dead woman" re-treat back to the moments she held so dear.. I'm in awe with this piece.. just beautiful!!-10

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Le Charnier
by Xanthe

Well Xanthe what drew my attention immediately to your poem was the French title: very chic but then I got to know that you were referring to Pablo Picasso's painting. Death is a fascinating subject because it is beyond our understanding. What lies on the other side has always been mysterious and somehow magical for us: poor mortal beings. However "charniers" are tombs for those who die in wars, epidemics, natural catastrophes and etc. A charnier -if I can say so- desacralizes life because it is devoid of religious significance since a fast burial is of utmost importance:
"No one lingered and lamented".
Picasso's Charned House is one of his most famous anti-war painting for he depicts the Nazi Genocide of the Holocaust in it. Painted in grey as Death must be, The Charned House is a symbol of one of the saddest episodes in History: the human incapacity of understanding and accepting others of his own kind. Religious intolerance and the thirst of power will always be two dangerous weapons.
Your poem reaches the reader because it makes him/her think about the real meaning behind the words/a painting. Death is haunting because we don't have answers to explain it yet but what is more haunting is the massacre of innocent people. Your poem brings us right up close to what we most fear. Thanks for carrying me away. Excellent work Poetess. -10

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Red Riding Hood
by Wild flower

Wild Flower created a chilling and twisted take on the entire Red Riding hood theme... She crafted a metaphoric delight here, and I was impressed! She took her thoughts of a perhaps a love gone wrong, and elegantly, and with darkness, made me feel the real "wolf" was the one wearing the red hood... I love the shape and form of the poem itself, and it held me captivated from start to finish.
When one is in love and then to see the true nature of the person, it can be a haunting experience and once again I have to say... this was a creative and brilliant poem!-7

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My Bed's Corner
by Everlasting

I'm very fond of the use of winter in this and how it can be taken literally or as personification depending on the reader's interpretation.

This is truly a beautiful piece and I very much enjoy the emotion that has been put into this.
It makes me wonder if the author is writing from personal experience as I can not find one part throughout the poem that lacks the emotion shown constantly from start to finish.

I find the closing stanzas incredibly bittersweet, and so sad.
It's like the author is stating they have given up and wont try anymore and leaves the reader feeling overwhelmed with the author's pain. It's nice to see such an emotional poem about the more negative side of love that doesn't fall into the usual pile of cliche sayings and metaphors throughout.-7

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Writer's Block....
by Dreamofolwin

Dreamofolwin...... !!!!!!! You truly made me laugh with this poem. Writers block can be so frustrating, and when you struggle to piece together a poem, sometimes it can be so frustrating that you latterly feel like giving up! I've read many pieces on writers block and I have to say this one was brilliant in my opinion. The rhyme pattern flowed very nicely and the message was very humorous! The ending was really a fun ending....

"I can see you sneering over there,
as you're sitting in your chair.
Just comment my poem and I'll be done
as I only wrote this one for fun!"

^^^ You may have only wrote this in fun, but what you did was kick your writers block and created an excellent, funny rhyme poem.. !!!! Very nice!!!!!! -4 points

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Fleur-de-Lis
by Hellon

Hellon, whenever I see a fleur-de-Lis, I think of the French monarchy. But this magnificent flower lends itself to so many meanings as you have pointed out in your poem. Unfortunately, in a world where nothing makes sense anymore, a symbol so pure and perfect like it is invisible for many. I often wonder what symbols can be associated with modern life. Maybe the apple logo or something like that. It seems to me that our eyes are too tired to see what is beyond the immediate surface or perhaps, people are suffering from historical amnesia all over the world. Awesome piece. Couldn't expect anything less from a poetess like you.-4

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Anemone Eyes
by Hannah Lizette

Hannah this by far is one of the saddest love poems I have ever read. Totally heart breaking, no one can say otherwise. Your opening two lines were so stunning. Right away I could tell you were going to have a wonderful poem just by the wording of your beginning. I love the single line, "Sometimes I swear its you", anyone who's ever lost someone knows what its like to see that someone in something else or someone else.
I loved everything about this poem. The details of which flowers were in your garden then describing the one that reminded you of him, the one he picked out on purpose for you. Which makes this poem sadder because its like he knew he was going to leave. He knew you would need a reminder of him. That is just so sweet. Your appreciation in your last few lines just shows how tight this bond was between the two of you. I had tears in my eyes at the end of this, just delightful-4

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Ms Sunshineee

Can't wait to see the controversy this uneventful weekend brings.

Congrats to the winners & HMs.

Thanks, Nana, as always.

^ What controversy? :P

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Congrats everybody.

Way to go, Xanthe :D

Lol he is being pessimistically sarcastic Abed, since I also feel like if there is nothing to complain about, something will be invented :P it's hard not to complain ...it's all due to the scheme as we all know by now.

LOL, just wait a few hours. It's a matter of time difference.

NO ONE RUIN THIS THREAD DANG IT lol

Congrats all, seriously all poems highlighted this week were beautiful!

Thanks for the HM!

All winners and HM's much deserved...

and NANA, WAY TO GO THANKING YOURSELF LOL Hahaha...

Hehehe lol well, just made me smile, so nice of me no ? :P

Lmao I didn't even catch that..

Well someone needs to lift this poor girl up :)

Go nana, go nana! :)

Congrats for the winners and HMs:)

Thank you for the HM mich appreciated. And thank you Nana and judges for the hard work.

Congrats winners and HM's!!!!

Thank you all for the unexpected win today. Your comments mean the world so thank you. And well done to all others :) keep writing everyone. I know I will

Congratulations to Mel and Twiggy :-) and to all the hms.. thank you for the lovely judging comment, very much appreciated and thank you Nana for all your hard work that you put into this... <3

Congrats girls.Thaks for my HM.

LOL CHELS!!

Congrats, winners and HM's.

Nana, no offense but, it is necessary to speak with the correct tone if you want to make some friends.

Congrats Winners and HMs... Great efforts Nana...^^

Lol what tone did I misuse if you don't mine elaborating ? and no I have enough friends thank you

I must admit I confused by the 'tone' comment. I didn't sense any tone or condescending voice. Although I can imagine that nana probably gets a little peeved with all the negative posts every week.
As she asks I think you should elaborate.

Nana, I didnt mean it literally, obviously, you have lots friends :)

I meant it in the sense that if you don't want controversy then dont let this thread descend into a debate or another argument, or whatever you call it, by making sarcastic and snide remarks. If you know what I mean.

And Darren, I'm not sure if you've been reading on these discussions of weekly winners, but when i said "tone', I meant it in the sense that if you truly are avoiding this war of words, then why launching tirades before it even starts, instead of just focusing solely on the subject matter.

Congrats to all!!
thanks for the hm! :)

Well Myryn, obviously? I was right! :)

And I doubt I had any sarcastic tone that would cause any sort of arguements, if you had a trouble with my relpy to Abed regarding his question as to what Larry meant, that's definitely not my problem. I did not use any sort of offending sarcasm, however anyone else who thinks my comment was offending, I apologize O.o to you.

On a side note, no offense, your post definitely sounds somehow as an overreaction toward my words, until you disliked the way I talk, I did not see any drama caused by my simple words that infact were not out of topic, nor out of limits.

Unless you think people who invent drama do exist and will have pain in their feet due to my words, that's a different story. As to my tone, I know I watch it very well.

anyone else offended by my tone guys ? :P please show up, so that I apologyze to you.

I am not offended at all and thank you for the time you took to reply :)

What???

This is outrageous. Seriously, Nana? I cannot believe this.
Someone gave that Everlasting an HM. Man!

On the other hand, thank you, and the judges too. Congrats to the winners as well as HMs.

Anytime sweety

and lol Luce you sound excited.. I'm glad :P

No one be surprised if I whisk Nana away and we go to a secluded island and we don't return for a while....we'll write poetry in the sand and forget this contest man. Hahaha

LOL sounds romantic, I want to take Maple and Ben too. Nature lovers

I'm in... bags are packed... When do we leave?

Good question...Lol

Congratulations winners and HM's. Thank you judges for the hard work!! ;]

What chelsey is leaving with nana??

YOU GOOOOOOOOO GIIIIIIIIIRRRRLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS

....and don't come back

lol

I don't plan on it...this island has no wifi connection....

soo goodbye my loves and thanks for a great ride :P

P.S there is totally a no boys policy on this island, so you girls can go on vacation to get some di-.....er, I mean, love from men :)

Thank you! & Congrats Sun & Twiggy, awesome poems.