Contest Winners, 10 December 2012

Congratulations to three outright winners (no tie breakers). The HMs are magnificent.

Winners:
Poems to the wounded by: Karla 7 + 10 = 17
The Railways of December by Poet on the Piano 7 + 10 = 17
The Paintbrush and the Pen by: myonlymoon 4 + 7 = 11

Honorable Mentions:
Elle by Jordan 10
Natures Key (Quatern interspersed with Haiku) by Naughtymouse 10
An execution of thy heart by The Poet Behind The Poems 7
Burning Desire by AJ 4
Drinker by Autuumnbree 4
Farewell to Baaba by Real meaning 4

COMMENTS:

Poems to the Wounded by Karla 10pts

This poem reminds me of how I felt back in high school. Being under pressure to memorize every date and piece of history made me hate my history teachers, too. It's funny though, that it took sometimes for us to truly enjoy the aspects of history. It wasn't until we were out of school, some of us, that we strived to delve into the past and relive the era.

I find the opening line catchy and well, to say it's intriguing (and shocking?) would be an understatement. "I am pregnant with different people." One of the best opening lines I've come across so far.

This poet always writes with vagueness yet imaginative enough to paint pictures and influence a reader's imagination. I find myself frequently hypnotized by her way with words for she never fails to share her experiences and let me feel the emotions within the poem.

All three poems seem to be connected to each other, each taking up an idea expressed in the one before. I love the poignant ending lines of the third poem, "But now that I am old, I understand my teachers: They are the proof of dictatorship's obscenity." Lines that will linger to haunt you long after you have finished reading them.
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Poems to the wounded
by: Karla

Karla, if I felt the slightest bit worthy of leaving you a proper comment I would. However, this poem just made me want to bow down to you as a poet because the way you describe your feelings are a way that no other can. So I will leave you with a comment as best I can, but seriously this poem leaves one without words! That opening metaphor about being pregnant with many, just beautiful. I know for a fact people read your poetry and become envious at your talent. The second stanza had an awesome word play about the book stealing you instead of you stealing it and that third stanza...what can someone say about the third stanza? Its so deep, so personal, I wanted to here more about this history, the class, what you learned....Lovely write as per usual!

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The Railways of December by: Poet on the Piano

I can honestly say I don't think I've ever read a jaw dropping opening stanza like this one you have penned. I felt like this was a narrative essay you had to write for school, but you had this incredible poetic spin on it. The "body" so to speak, of this poem was filled with amazing details creating a very vivid image of my head and the best thing about it all, is it ignited my senses. You have made the reader see what you are seeing, smell what you are smelling, taste what you are tasting, hear what youre hearing and feel what you are feeling. Just phenominal. The topic is one so creative you would never see on this site which makes this poem even more of a masterpiece. Its a story unheard of. A town unwritten about. I'm in complete awe of this poem, to be honest it wasn't long enough for me which I don't say often because usually poetry can get drug on and boring when its too long, but this...this was so interesting, a story I wish I could get wrapped in and hear more about and learn more about this character that wishes to be in Tokoyo to find themself. So incredibly awestruck, I can't stop saying that. Well done!
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The Railways of December by Poet on the Piano 7pts

This poem is probably one best example of motivational poems that is meant to inspire and motivate (especially younger) readers to not only pursue their dreams but to make them a reality.

I find the allusion of Tokyo here--clever, considering the fact that it is the largest metropolitan area in the world. Tokyo here represents the author's dream.

In the first stanza, the poet describes herself as helpless (lost child) when it comes to pursuing her dreams right away. She is also aware that the path to pursuing dreams can be deceiving; hence, she is taking one step at a time.

"A stranger, smelling strongly of cigarettes and cinnamon," the stranger being mentioned here, is probably symbolizing elderly people who have seen and experienced things we may never know, or maybe decades away from learning ourselves.

The next three stanzas describe her changing life and how she works to build personal confidence through others' experiences and presence.

The final stanza indicates that she is brave now and is no longer afraid of facing challenges in life knowing that there are also others out there with the same dreams and aspirations.

A very moving poem that uses effective diction and clever imagery. Well done!

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The Paintbrush and the Pen by Myonlymoon 7 points

That opening was one of the most elegant and thought provoking ones that I have come across and really pulled me into this poem.

"You ecstatically cripple me in all the right ways.

Humbling me and soothing the weight of my worries." This really stood out to me, as the way the author uses cripple becomes something so heartwarming and beautiful whereas usually the word would bring negative thoughts and emotions to many people.

I thought it was an interesting play of words and one that worked well with the whole overcall content of this poem.
I often find that love poems describing the love has for another too often become cliche, overdone and something that many people don't like to read, so this was a nice surprise and a poem I found both elegant and beautiful, all the while managing to remain unique and stand alone compared to other poems with the same intentions in the written words. (7)

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The Paintbrush and the Pen by: myonlymoon

I wish your love to be
The periods at the ends of my sentences,
The clasps of my necklaces,
The turpentine washing my oiled stems.
Bringing closure to my past

^^ Dear, I don't know who you are and I can say I've never read your work, but this stanza right here is the most creative and BEAUTIFUL stanza I've read in a very very long time. Those analogies are beyond unique, never have I read anything similar to this and I was left so captivated by your creativity.

My apologies that
I haven't expressed or sung in my abilities
Of how your scent whips through me effortlessly,
And the curve of your smile
Weakens me in every bend of my body.
Or how when your stubble brushes against my skin,
A wave of ectasy rolls over me,
Rippling through me as a dwarf puddle on
An old dirt road somewhere.

^ At this point I was completely and totally surrendered to this poem. Melting at every line, at every word, at the whole seen. Love your use of "stubble" here, sticking to your original painting metaphor, but also describing a beard...loved that

My only suggestion in this piece would be to not capitalize every line. Throws off the reading a bit, just capitalize new sentences..Other than that, adored this poem and will definitely be coming back to give it another read.

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Elle by Jordan
Jordan has a way of taking the reader on an adventure in his poetry. This poem was breathtaking with the words and metaphors alone, and then when you take the fact of all the different angles you can take with this poem, it kept me going back to read it several times. At first glance, I felt he was writer of a woman, and her beauty, but in fear of a relationship, hence retreating back to loneliness perhaps. However after I read it a few times more, with the descriptive nature tones, I was on a journey of a sea gull or eagle perhaps, I also thought of a sea turtle.. ha ha ha! Either way, I found this piece to be imaginative, creative, elegant, and brilliant! Beautiful- Beautiful- Poem!!!! (10)

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Natures Key (Quatern interspersed with Haiku) by Naughtymouse 10 points

I'm truly surprised that this poem doesn't have more recognition that it currently does.
To combine two poetry forms into one poem is something I have always found somewhat difficult due to attempting to keep the subject(s) plausible for both forms without altering the flow and overall content and I thought that the author made this look effortless and easy here.

Combine that with the fact that the poem is a nature based one, which are in my opinion one of the most difficult genres to write and I think the author did an absolutely amazing job with this.
The flow, the content, the imagery are all spot on, and once more I am awed at how the two forms seem to seamlessly intertwine with one another.

The whole poem left me with such a serene and content feeling and I applaud the author for creating something so beautiful and unique. (10)

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An execution of thy heart by The Poet Behind The Poems
I do love old English! Its elegant and rich when written in a way that makes the words flow like a song! This poem did just that for me. Its graceful and filled with sorrow. I had a vision of a knight, standing at the top of a cliff, confessing his broken heart to the wind. It gave me a Romeo and Juliet feel to it, which I admire. I'm glad the author decided to try something new, because I felt it did a beautiful job with this piece! Well Done!!!! (7)

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Burning Desire by AJ 4 points

What captivated me about this poem is that while it is relatively short it holds so much emotion and the author manages to pack so much depth and feeling into those few lines.

The imagery was also very well done, it's often hard to manage to create such beautiful imagery in exceptionally short pieces of work and yet the author succeeds in painting such striking visuals within my mind as I read through the poem.

"Blazing new memories
to smolder indefinitely."

I was very fond of these lines, again so few words yet filled with so much depth and the use of both blazing and smoulder really allow me to picture fiery and intense moments between two lovers, although in a beautiful and loving way because of the way the author states new memories being made.

Well done. (4)

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Drinker by Autuumnbree
I truly loved the metaphor of the subject alcoholism / comparing it to a tragic decision that leads to a broken relationship. The author, in detail and creative fashion, explains the poor decisions of drinking the mistake, which led to the demise of breaking the heart of her partner. This piece allows the reader to be captivated from start to finish and I truly was impressed by the creative angle she took with this piece. Very nice! (4)

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Farewell to Baaba by Real meaning 4pts

This poem seems to evoke certain memories from the poet's childhood and youth, and it's rather more precise to say that the poem is an experience shown from the point of view of a child.

"Farewell to Baaba", this title pretty much sums up the poem as a whole. The first line concludes that the word "farewell" in the title is meant for someone who has died. Though on the other hand, I'd like to think that "Baaba" is symbolic in some way, and that it could be about the carefree innocence of a child which we tend to lose it as we grow up. The ending line reveals the poet's final feelings. Being in a coma is the same as what it feels like being stuck in this earthy life.

Wow! This weeks poems nd HM's are exceptional! Congrats winners!

Thanks, judge! Grats everybody!

Thanks so much for the awesome comments. It was a great surprise to find my poem on the front page. Thanks judges. I am honoured.

This week, I'm gonna' marry the 3 winning poems. They are just mind blowing. Congrats.

Thank you Larry and the judges!! The comments mean a lot too and congratulations to the other winners and HM's!

CONGRATS WINNERS!!!

@_@!

Oh my.....thankyou...so so much for the HM...grinning like a fool :-)))

Thankyou judges awesome as always x

Congratulations Winners and Hm's :-)

awesome poetry!!!

Congratulations!!

Did anyone notice the new buttonss?? :p

You mean the over-sized buttons on the PM system?
I'm not sure about how I like them yet.

Yes, those.
I think they're cute... We need time to adapt to them haha

Also one isn't directed to a new page when replying a message ;p

Congrats winners & HMs! I was digging through the poems this week and found a lot of enjoyable reads.

The buttons are quite large huh. I do however like how the reply box appears underneath now.

Yup, and as Jen said, we aren't directed to any pages; that's cool.