what will you do? if the girl you love? loves another man?

haha the girl i really loves... loves me and this other person... i just don't know what to do? back off or keep fighting?

Give her space. You want her to be happy, right? Then let her choose and take her time, because honestly if you push her she will either resent it and choose the other guy, or choose you and be upset she didnt get the chance to really go over it.

But I think you can only REALLY love one person, so I dont know whats going through her head.

haha the girl i love likes me the most.. but she doesn't want to hurt the other guy... and she can't choose the other guys... cause she doesn't want to hurt me... god? why do random people have to come in and steal every girl i always put my heart and soul into away from me

Your girls aren't stolen from you, you give them away because you don't make the girl YOURS. You can be kind, warm sensitive and loving all you like, but a girl also wants to feel possessed subconciously. If she feels like she belongs to you she won't leave you for someone else.

Disagree all you like (anyone and everyone please try ), but it's true.

bret your right?... i guess? i didn't make her mine haha... your right .. for some odd reason u seem to be always right?

I'm not always right, far from it. But I'm 28. I've lived a bit. I'm married and I spent my early adulthood learning, studing, devoting my attentions to women.

I have experience in many fields so it's why I seem to know the right answer. Truth is the right answer is the answer that works for you. And that changes drastically from person to person.

Bob knows a hell of a lot more than I do, but I have more time to spend addicted to forums ;¬)

but everything you say seems to have a point to it o.O i guess that just what someone who has alot of expo comes out from... gee... your like a relationship saving god i guess?

You say that, but they aren't adults. There's modicum of instability inheirent in teenage years and in this case that phrase just doesn't cut it in my opinion.

Bret is only right because he agrees with me all the time.... ;) lol

Anyway I agree, every girl wants to subconsciously BELONG to a man, he has to claim her and engulf her...

I have a very Freudian outlook on life, and everything in the world can be found through the study of sex, lol.

A girls sexual position is that of being "filled" by her man, held by him, she contains him because he WANTS and NEEDS her, the same thing happens subconsciously in the relationship, and if a man doesnt "claim" her enough or take enough of a leadership role... that girl is gone in no time...

Dont back off because she wont feel like you need her, dont be passive, but dont bug the hell out of her either. You dont need to fight because you want her to feel like she is already YOURS.

I agree with kaitlin on the girl's possesion thing......
if you knew me you would know how weird that sounds coming from me, but it is true. i actually personally like being 'claimed'.....some girls resist it, but you just cant
*~*Soldier Lover*~*

Thanks SL...

Girls may resist it on a conscious level for varrying reasons, but subconsciously, every girl loves to be claimed.

Every girl is "owned" by a man at each point in their lives. Their fathers, brothers, boyfriends, best friend, husband, etc. no girl is just HER, she BELONGS to a man in some way. Its how it works, despite naieve objections from some people.

but for some reason? i can't claim this girl i really love... she loves two guys.. but she loves me the must... and she can't be with me cause she will be hurting the other person... and she can;t be with the other person cause she will be hurting me...i really love her and i want her to be with me... but she and i know it's wrong to heart another person heart....

So its ok to hurt YOU while she is so busy trying not to hurt this other guy? That doesnt make sense. Someones heart has to be compromised, so make it sooner than later.

She has to be accounatable for her choice, she needs to make a decision because its hurting you that she's not. You're letting her make too many excuses, tell her that if she is YOURS she cant be dabbling with another guy.

She is YOUR girl, remind her of that in a very sweet and loving way...

Steven,

Well, under normal dating circumstances, I'd hop on the band-wagon and say "take her." But you're only 15, so I don't think you need to be in such a hurry.

But, to be fair, who did she start dating first? You or the other guy? That matters. From personal experience and a few friends, I know girls have a hard time letting go of the familiar. If you're the new guy, you have to take charge. If you're the familiar territory, go with the "let her go..." philos.

... she loves me more then the other guy... but she just can't choose

"Whatever," good point. But the antithesis of a convincing argument.

Anyway, I did not see he was 15. I should have done my research.

She may need time to make up her mind if this is normal developmental teen stuff, however I dont see what is so appauling about choosing one person to love out of two instead of stringing them both along for pities sake. If you were older, the whole "ownership" thing would work much better, right now she needs to find herself, not be owned in a relationship. I also think you're throwing the word "love" around considerably alot for being 15.

And psychologically every girl wants to feel owned, protected, and needed. When she finds herself, that is. Its a security based issue, and most women are unconscious about it, regardless of what "All Done" has to say about it, but you will come to your own conclusion when you are older and discover the psychological dynamic between men and women in relationships, right now, go get to know yourself and give her space. Both of you need it as freshman.

Shame you cannot look past numbers and recognize intelligence and common sense, what are you, 99? Alot of life experiance to be so blind... (sardonically, you're obviously not 99)

You're more than entitled to disagree, but doing it so blatantly rudely just proves your immaturity; not mine.

It's fine, you can disagree, with your "independent woman," "you dont need a man," views, I still retain my opinion and present it as such, strictly mine. Thank you for expressing yours. Although you have not given a solid argument and basis for disagreement when I am claiming it to be a primarily subconsious response, and not a conscious one, and I was not the only one to subscribe to the theory on the thread, so how about you get All Done chewing my ass out and explain your point logically to everyone instead of taking the easy hit at "16," when in fact, my intellectual level and maturity far surpasses my physical age.

If you cannot or will not define your argument and explain it logically, your opinion holds no merit.

o.O i see....

Intelligence is not everything, temperance is a big one, which obviously, nothing but time can offer you.

Again, you are more than entitled to your opinion.

I did not see he was 15, I thought I was talking to a man in his mid 20's, normally I check age, but I misconstrued him with another person I remembered and gave him bad advice; that was the only mistake I believe I have made on this post.

I still stand by my opinion, I don’t find it to be unfounded, I find it to be true in any relationship I have observed. I know you are fighting against the "all," in the statement, but I find it to be in women’s subconscious natures, so I would say "all" people with vaginas have that subconscious psychological response, Freudian based, like I said before.

And I did not say that your opinion held no merit to ME, I said that any argument that is not explained logically holds no merit in general. There always has to be a formula that comes to a conclusion, the conclusion does not stand-alone.

I also don’t think I know everything, nor do I think I have the average maturity level of a 16 year old strictly because I am not putting myself through the typical teenage bull shit that they are, I know better, and I have no need to experience that to make me grow into anything better than I already am. What I know is based on what I have learned and absorbed from other people in my life and its experiences, just like your perception is strictly and soley based upon yours. If you think I am like every other 16 year old out there I would suggest you read more of these posts. I would die before I would put myself in that mentality; however your personal opinion of me doesn’t matter, you don’t know me.

you need to give her space, but dont give UP. let her make the choice, but dont back down. you have to keep in there, and try to win her over, but little things; dont crowd her, she needs to make a decision about who she wants, not who you would like her to want.

thanks for the comments i guess?

thanks i feel like that comment was the best i heard out of my whole post o.O

thanks for helping me at painful moments like these