Contest Winners- February 11, 2013

Good afternoon all :)

This week, one judge was not feeling well and apologizes for their short comments, and another judge was m.i.a, leaving us with 4 judges as you'll notice :)

We had 2 winners with combined points, and the site broke the tie between the remaining 10's

Congrats front page winners, as well as our Hm's!

Untitled #2
by: Senyru- 10 + 7 = 17

Anchorage
by: Meme -10 + 7 = 17

Black Sun Rising
by Baby Rainbow- 10

HM's:

Nyctophobia
by The Queen (10)

The Grace of Trees
By Larry Chamberline the Godfather (7)

Dose of Cancer (Burns Stanza)
by Maple tree (7)

City Limits
By Myonlymoon- 4 + 4 = (8)

I was Tinder
by: Xanthe (4)

Tear stained
by Baby Rainbow (4)

WINNER COMMENTS:

Untitled #2
by: Senyru

Such a captivating piece! I am just in awe, it's more than just refreshing to me. I love the form and flow of this piece, as well as the articule word choice. Introducing this "you" in the beginning as this peaceful person, not prone to violence makes me wonder if this person is now not even picking you back up after your demise. Right before the last line, "I'm drenched in gasoline toying with that lighter" just grabs my heart...it's like this is your last plea, and whether this "you" is your brother or not is very interesting. A chilling story told, as if your mind just wants to find the place of tranquillity, so you don't have to live with the damage of life you've caused and others have. (10)
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Untitled #2
by Senyru

First of all, I really wish that you find a title for this piece, something to make it distinguishable because it deserves to be remembered and re-read again and again!

I got so many emotions while going through this poem, some parts felt dark to me while others gave me this bitter taste of sadness, but all together it came very well and kept me wondering and thinking about it even after I finished reading it.

And this..
"I dreamt of darkness in my mothers
womb - I was nursed explosive hatred
from a young age to the point where the
thought of weaning, was foreign and seemed suicidal. "
^^
This part just blew my mind! You were so smart to take the idea of an infant in his mothers' womb to reflect or to actually justify the reason for your dark side. I wish I could think things beyond their actual meanings to find some new ways to interpret them into my poems.

You nailed it Mark, and you write with a high level of maturity and talent. Well done! (7)
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Anchorage
By Meme

This piece is just absolutely beautiful, the imagery, the feelings, you can just picture what the poet has penned... (10)
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Anchorage
by: Meme

I felt, too, this was a tender write. The wonder and curiosity gives off such innocence to the reader and I honestly can't help but smile when you ask "Where are you now?". This write soothes me when reading, and it also reminds me of when we are searching for ourselves, wondering where we will go, where we've come from. The creativity in beginning with "Dear Admiral" and ending with "Sincerely, your final harbor" just warmed my heart....what sincerity. I never get tired of reading about the ocean and being a harbor to this person is softly romantic. If this person could rest with you and know your heart is home, than that would be all that would matter in life. Wonderful! (7)

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Black sun rising
by Baby Rainbow

We start with an amazing analogy, the realisation that you will never see this person again hits, in tune with the sun setting. Such a sad start, but a clever start. It is a warning that this poem is deeper than it first appears.
Reading stanza 2 makes me think that the silhouettes represent life moving on, you are in a pit of sadness yet you can see that the buildings still stand, people are still going about their lives, this sadness hasn't touched them, The blue reference is clever and ties in with the emotions of this piece.
You cannot move, you cannot accept that you will have to rejoin those in the city, you will need to move on.
Describing tears as drops of loneliness is very clever, the black sun rising is also a fantastic metaphor.
You have managed to cram real sadness into this piece, well done. An easy 10 from me. (10)
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HM COMMENTS:

Nyctophobia
by The Queen

I always find myself pulled in to poems that talk about some kind of phobia, I always wonder what the writer can make with it, and how creative he can be thats why I found your title so interesting..

The dark, mysterious, and twisted tone in it was superb. And you know what, I think that with a little bit of extra work this idea you adopted in this poem could easy be transformed into a bestseller novel, or thats how I honestly felt!

Clever way to open this piece with the idea of childhood fear; a fear of the dark which I think most kids have. And like many the imaginary part of our brains make us see things in the dark, things that may not even exist!

You took your time with the first part of the poem. You gave the reader enough insight to understand the place you came from; your own childhood fears. But then in the second half of the poem things changed. You were smart to change the idea of how darkness made you feel. Its like you showed us two different point of views; how darkness is seen by a child and how it's seen by an adult.

I also favor poems that add a little bit of romance while being dark..
"I would want nothing more than you
in all the world, my beautiful love,
you have been the first and will be
the only one to ever touch my heart."
^^
and those lines you added made a lot of difference and added more to the piece.

But I never expected that ending to be honest, what a twist! It was very clever. (10)
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The Grace of Trees
By Larry Chamberline the Godfather

A breathtaking nature piece, so peaceful and refreshing (7)
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Dose of cancer (Burns stanza)
by Maple tree.

How nice it is to come across a form in the weekly contest that I haven't seen before. It is fairly simple but it is very effective. Maple tree has taken a subject that is close to so many people and written a gem. There is huge emotion in this, but interestingly it reads as written from the point of view of the person helping the sufferer not the person with the cancer themselves. It shows how this can effect everybody close to the person diagnosed.
The rhyme scheme works very well, as expected by this writer it is not only unforced it is also very clever. Both 'dancer' and 'answer' can be pronounced slightly differently dependent on your accent.
(think dar-ncer or dan- cer)
I awarded this 7 points because I felt stanza 1 was so abrupt and 'matter-of-fact' I felt the frustration in this, well done. (7)
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City Limits
By Myonlymoon

To sleep under the moonlight away from the city, very pretty (4)
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City Limits
by Myonlymoon

The tone in this piece was so serene. The writer allowed us to see her new sanctuary;, embraced in nature and far away from the hectic life of a city. I think nature is always calling us but only few lucky ones would take a break and listen to her. I really enjoyed the piece, and I found myself escaping my surroundings for a bit. (4)
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I was Tinder
by: Xanthe

I really like the relationship that is introduced just by this opening line...this person has been your teacher, showing you the uncontrollable power this element as. I love the desperation you seem to write in, like this was your cursed destiny all along. Amazing metaphor...it was darkly beautiful and gave me shivers while reading this "for I, too, am beginning to bow down to my very own tormentor". That language of helplessness is striking. Good write! (4)

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Tear stained
by Baby Rainbow

Mirrors are a great inspiration to poets, they offer a mystical notion when it comes to including them in our work.
I applaud the author for beginning this with a huge dollop of alliteration, which smacks you in the face, this mirror is reflecting a depressive tendency, it is showing the subject what she wants to see.
Then we move onto our other favourite, the sky!! Yet this is seen in a different perspective. It is twisted, they again see the worst in it which is a great reflection of how they are feeling.
Then we have hearts and hope.
What I liked about this is the fact she took those four common ingredients (mirrors, sky., heart, hope) and wrote an original poem that contains a lot of depressive emotion and a lot of original imagery.
Well done. (4)

Congratulations to Saffie/ Baby Rainbow, Meme and Mark/ Senryu... Very awesome pieces this week!

and Congratulations to the Hm's and I thank you judge for the lovely comment on my poem, greatly appreciated :-)

Hugs to Chelsey and the Judges <3

Congrats all, with Colms challenge going on, it is easy to forget about this.

Some good stuff this week, (at least worth 12/20 ; - ) )

Thank you for the HM.

Congratulations to the Winners and other HMs.

Thanks to the judges who participated, especially in the midst of Colm's Chaotic Cyclone.

Congrats, winners.
Amazing pieces, HMs!

And great job Chels.

Congrats everyone!
And great job Chels ;)

Wow, such beautiful work this week as always!
Congratulations winners & HM's!

Congrats, winners and HM's.

Thank you for the lovely comment as well. :)