Insomnia.

So. On Friday I had a date. I was getting ready, and my uncle yells that there's someone at the door. A guy drops off a bag of Valentine's day stuff. And tells me it's from the guy who sexually assaulted me in August.

I literally have not been sleeping. And I want to cry just writing this. Anyone have anything like this experience? I feel like he's following me every where I go, and I'm so tired. I literally cannot stress enough that I am just completely exhausted. I've never been this tired SINCE it happened in August. I'm really jumpy, and I had a flashback on Saturday. My heart hasn't slowed. It feels like someone jumped out and scared me. Which it has been like this for going on three days without calming. Could that be damaging to my heart?

Yes daughter it is very freaking damaging your heart...um it's not like i was raped but for a day or two i didnt sleep cause of the pain in my heart since my friend who was way more than that to me died and i still remember that i was told that it was my fault and to this day i still don't like to sleep since i can hear his voice telling me how much he loved me and then the hateful words that i saw gosh it still rips my heart out so i try not to sleep at all...get 4-6hrs of sleep in my body everyday

I slept from 11:15-3am uninterrupted, which was really nice. It's not like I saw him, and in reality, he probably wasn't taunting me...though it feels like it. I don't know how to deal with it.

Yes well don't worry hunny you will have everything back to normal oh and i got 6 1/2hrs in me and i hate it ... hate it i heard him again....

I would love to sleep that long.

Trust me if you have to hear his words say "i love you" and then...and then the words say he's dead and you're the reason why he's dead repeat in your mind and you think that's peaceful...i don't know what to say... icouldn't deal with that pain not that much daughter but if i ofended you sorry!

Not offended. I know what you mean. That sounds like PTSD. .-.

I'm not sick trust me!

Lindaaaa. I'm sorry to hear this :(
My cousin, she had this older boyfriend when she was in 7th and 8th grade. He was about 5 to 6 years older now. We are both in 10th grade now and this morning in class, Valentine's were being dropped off and she had about 10 balloons, and 12 flowers. I asked her who it was from and she said her ex, and told me who. And she told me he was stalking her..
Okay. So this was no help because i'm not my cousin. But... yeah.. I'm just gonna shut up now.

Poor thing. :c she needs to go to the police.

Well I texted you about how my ex boyfriend showed up on my roof so I guess I can relate.

Tonight is especially bad. I'm kicking the suicide ideas around again. Trying super ridiculously hard to not bust out a blade. I have no idea why the hell I'm so bad right now.

I feel like such sh-t. I went out to dinner and I'd love to go to the bathroom and puke everything up. I'm shaking. And I just aklsjdhajfakjshda. Seriously. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Well, if this helps, text me, call my cellphone anytime and i'll try to respond.

Just if ya need someone to talk to.

That's the thing. I don't know why, but I have no urge to even talk about it when I feel like that..so someone can stop me. Unless I know they can't stop me (for instance, this forum).

I literally still have been getting next to no sleep.

Oh just text me daughter!!!