Contest Winners- March 4, 2013

Good afternoon all! Once again, a well done and congrats to our winners and our Hm's!

WINNERS:

Spinning the wedding band.
by Darren - 10 + 10 = 20

Infirmary
by: Senyru- 10 + 4 = 14

The Design in My Coffee Cup is Puckering
by: Pneumonic- 10 + 7 = 17

HM'S:

Ladybirds (haiku)
by Colm (10)

I'm like Yesterday
by Everlasting (7)

Catching tear-drops
by Baby Rainbow (7)

Your Winter
by Chelsey (7)

Outskirts of the Mind
by The Queen 7+ 4 = (11)

You're One of a Kind [[Villanelle]]
by Stephen (4)

Blink mechanics
by: Jordan 4.+ 4 = (8)

WINNER COMMENTS:

Spinning the wedding band.
by Darren

Let me start by saying that the title was spot on. I think you wanted the reader to get the sense of being lost in iterated patterns, not being able to find a way out of this loop of sadness you are living in. The first stanza, to look at the wedding band which once was a symbol of love and commitment now just a ring with nothing more to be recognized. It feels that you gave up on all the promises that bounded you to your partner, here the image of that spinning band just touches me in so many levels. I feel the sadness and despair of your words. It makes me sad that you think you are not worth the title you are given (being a husband), I wish you to have the confidence in yourself to see what an amazing person you are. The despair and deep feelings throughout the poem shows that you are in such a deep state of depression, I really hope you get past this phase. A piece that I know I will be coming back to read again and again. One of your deepest most touching pieces. God bless you my friend. (10)

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Spinning the wedding band
by Darren

This piece is filled with emotion, sitting, spinning his ring, going through his mind of the promises made on his wedding day, all that he has and has not done, deeply depressed, blaming himself for whatever the reasons and he wonders how his wife could still be there... a woman who loves her husband so deeply will stand by her man no matter what, she will do whatever she can to help him. I think a lot of people get to this point at some time in their lives and question their motives and choices and feel like they just want to give up, that everything they have done was for naught, why bother getting out of bed each day if I'm only half the person I was before. Oh this piece is very deep and something so relatable in this day and age what with all the stress that is put on the american people, most trying to hold down two jobs, paying bills, raising kids, there never seems to be enough money or time for it all... very well written (10)
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Infirmary
by: Senyru

The poets's precise articulation and journey through this write leaves me wondering what had happened but also wanting to know more about if this person will be okay. I just serarched this syndrome on google, which I'm glad the poet posted it at the end, and I found out this was a serious mental disorder where the patient either gets sick, injures themselves or pretend to be sick all for attention. I have never heard of this before and this piece literally shocked me once I went back and read through each part, each signs....the knowledge and character this poet created is incredible..... I feel this life story and feel the hanging question of "what next?". The ending was almost eerie in the sense nothing was determined yet besides this syndrome. The poet's personality and use of I and You especially to connect the reader to these characters is applaudable. Much enjoyed. (10)

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Infirmary
by Senyru

The first stanza of this poem sets off rather mysteriously, almost fooling the reader into thinking it's a supernatural creature that's being described, ready to find pleasure in every bit of mankind's sorrow ... but soon enough it steered into something more realistic and personal, incorporating a quote that's surely able to make the reader snap back to reality. From there on it seemed like the reader was gliding along in some sort of downward spiral, one obstacle after the other, that surely make the reader react in surprise and sympathy. Quite honestly I really didn't know what the poem was supposed to mean until I googled "Munchausen Syndrome", but the fact that it managed to grasp me as described above without even knowing, surely proves to me what wonders your words and imagery can do. (4)

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The Design in My Coffee Cup Is Puckering
by Pneunomic

This poem reads rather prosaic and needless to say detailed, which makes it a risky read (especially to the tired mind), but I must say that the poet's very interesting way of wording and her blunt statements really made this poem lively and that she was also able to keep the reader interested despite its heaviness. When I read the poem I could imagine myself sitting at the exact same spot as the poet, bored and looking around me, seeing all the things that she just described and experiencing the same mixed feelings. It's actually so effective in pulling the reader in, that I found myself philosophizing just like the poet did. I find it truly eye-opening how the poet just sucked me into a random cafe wandering to random thoughts, just to strike me with those last three lines that question such a huge matter. That, and its intelligent (and humoristic) diction, was what made the poem to me. Well done! (10)

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The Design in My Coffe Cup is Puckering
by: Pneumonic

There is a term in psychology called free association that was a method to hav patients in therapy say whatever comes to one's mind and see what they are holding back....this poem immediately made me think of this because the poet has this wondrous sense of not describing but showing the ambience to us readers. It was very tasteful too in that I find coffee shops intriguing.... there's always something of the arts there too and so many creative people. I loved the imagery and sounds the poet place right in front of me, and how the end left me thoughtful....how everythin is connected in the end with that one mindset of finding a source of satisfaction. (7)

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Ladybirds (haiku)
by Colm

Might be a eyebrow raising choice for a 10 pointer but a haiku is a poem. Not only is a poem when written as well as this it turns into a huge slice of a poem. Each line works wonders with its initial imagery and its deeper meanings. We begin with the thought that something as brightly colored and as obvious as a ladybird would even attempt to tiptoe. Yet what I believe the author could be saying is this, Maybe it is over cautious of its own beauty, has society now begun to tun against the beautiful? Does it fear jealously and a backlash? Following this train of thought we are taken away from ladybirds. We move into line two, the obsession in society to know what is around the corner. The want now culture. This is how it reads to me. Then the final line is the twist. Yes as a nature piece ladybirds at times seem too lazy to fly. Yet as a social piece I am wondering, is the author suggesting that people forget their potential? Do the beautiful become trapped by their own design? This poem is so deep and worthy of 10 points. A great Haiku is so much more than 17 syllables. (10)

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I'm like Yesterday
By Everlasting

I could never get bored by your poems, you have a really unique way o writing. Your words and thoughts are so thought-provoking and it always amazes me how you always find a new way to provoke the readers mind. This piece portrayed and image that you seem to reflect upon yourself. And its that no matter what tomorrow brings you will still be like yesterday because no matter what the present is tomorrow it will be yet again another yesterday in your books. But believe me you can change. You can create a new "You" so that when tomorrow comes your yesterdays would be different. Let the present mark your new self image, and let tomorrow reminds you that yesterday you found something new. Loved it so much, and I think this thought-provoking style really suits you. (7)
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Catching tear-drops
by Baby Rainbow

How good is this first stanza? The imagery of the tear drop, almost slow motion in its movement.. then the wow moment as it lands in a weeping heart. This is one of those stanzas that makes you sit back and wish you had thought of it. But this is just the first of six greatly constructed stanzas. Each containing a reference to tears or weeping, synchronizing the whole piece with the title. My favourite part and the reason for the points is the bravery of the repetition, this was a risk that paid off. It is not the longest poem so this could have seemed that the author was over indulging in her fantastic analogy. But no, it is purely a parting shot at those who admire her opening stanza. Awesome. (7)

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Your Winter
by Chelsey

Ah Winter, the most depressive season of them all, its a roller coaster ride... The opening stanza expresses how the cold winter weather can make one feel less attractive to themselves which makes them feel less attractive to someone else. Then in the next stanza they are feeling good because of the attention being paid to them, and then we are back to feeling down because he has left without a reason why or without a care in the world, causing the writer to feel useless because of his selfishness to play with ones heart for his own satisfaction... a very emotional write and very well written (7)
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Outskirts of the Mind
by The Queen

What's mostly admirable about this poem's style is its precise diction: no one word seems to be wasted, every space and word seems to count. Secondly, I must praise its tone, which easily makes the reader float away into some far-off romantic dreamscape. I thought the poem to have a very eccentric/folklore-ish atmosphere, yet still capable of tying its ends to a modern period. I think its secret lies in its double meaning. At first glance, I think anyone would notice the budding romance, perhaps also a glimpse of "opposites attract", late night talks, pouring emotions out, etc. But upon second read, I think I found a second meaning. Talks about dreams (and them remaining dreams), speaks to me about unfulfilled wishes for the future. Perhaps either one of the couple's more ambitious/motivated (seeking backbone and spine) while the other remains content in solace, yet both of them play around in the outskirts of the mind. It's this second layer of the poem that appealed to me while the crisp wording serves as good eye-candy too. (7)

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Outskirts Of The Mind
by The Queen

This is a little romantic gem of a write, it reminds me of a knighted lord who has a high position in medival times but at night escapes to the solace of the woods where he secretly meets with a common woman, she feels she would never fit into his world, they are a forbidden love... love the word choices and the imagery within this write (4)

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Blink Mechanics
by Jordan

This poem is a double barrel shot in the eyes, (excuse the pun) to those who a) think short poetry is lazy and that a good poem needs to begin at 20 lines long, and b) those that think poetry is no longer relevant in modern society. This kills both of those myths stone dead. There is so much power in these lines that it almost jumps out of the screen and slaps you around the chops. What a message to society, have they forgotten why we blinked? It is a dig at human nature (in my opinion) and a reminder that we are only out for ourselves, Yes we can be good at sharing grief but do we ever see the bigger picture despite the warnings and the tragedies. Great write. (4)

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You're One of a Kind [[Villanelle]]
by Stephen

First I congratulate you in nailing this form of poetry without it seeming forced. You took it and created this refreshing, amazing piece of work. The message you delivered here is lovely, showing someone that they are unique in their own way, showing them that they can shine by being simply who they are. No matter what life brings, or what obstacles may hinder your way you should always remember that you are one of a kind. Such an uplifting poem, And I really advise anyone who is feeling down to come and read your piece, it really does wonders .. :) (4)
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Blink mechanics
by: Jordan

Wow, the power of this write, the thoughtlessness of members of society and also that neglect that is very tangible reached my heart so deeply. The poet's way with words in such a short write to convey that meaning of truth to all of us. Whether it may be an injustice or discriminatory action, many times we don't admit. Great usage of blinking too and now I feel I will think about all the times I have continued on, thinking without lokking back or changing my heart. (4)

Congrats all! lovely poems this week.
For those who are interested in psychological themes, check out Senyru's front page piece; well done, Mark, again haha... that was mega wonderful. I always knew you had powerful narrative skills!

Thanks for the win, thanks to Colm, without his contest I would probably have not written it.

Thank you Chelsey for hosting and
Congrats other winners and thank you judges for your hard slog, much appreciated.

Congrats to the Winners, and Hm's

Thank you for the Hm's, I appreciate it.

And Chelsey too.

Awesome writes here! Congrats winners & the HM's & of course Chels as well!!!

Thanks so much for the votes, guys. I'm glad you took my message to heart.

Congrats to the winners and HMs this week.

Thanks for the judge who gave the comment on my poem and congrats winners and all involved :)

Thanks!
And props to everyone else!