Contest winners- April 15, 2013

Hey guys :) Hope this Monday finds you all doing well.

Let it be known, we are still missing the 5th judge, so here you will only see 4 judges reviews.

2 clear winners this week and a site tie between the 10's :)

Congrats to all, yet again!

In Your Dark Corner
by Hellon- 10

You in the Greatness
by: abracadabra- 7 + 7 = 14

Ghost town
by Piogga- 10 + 4= 14

HM's:

Oblivion
by Poet on the Piano (10)

Kodak
by: Colm (10)

My love for you is selfish.
by silvershoes (7)

Destination Nowhere
by Hellon (7)

Even In Death, She Grows
by Hannah Lizette (4)

Discernibility
by: Britt-  4+ 4 = (8)

Ghost town
by Piogga

This is a refreshing read, pure delight in my eyes.
Where do I start?

From beginning to end, I was captivated by the unique style, word usage and format. Labeling each stanza was a nicely added touch, showcasing this piece, making it unique and it stands out above the rest.

In the first stanza, introduction: To refer to France

"getting lost in the veins of her cities" < --- that pulled me in, and I couldn't stop reading..

"Deformed face of fiction" (ouch!) What a fun way to describe someone who has broken the bonds of trust and friendship/relationship? Loved that line!

Second stanza: You take us on another adventure into space, referring to this person as planets, and perhaps Luna is "another person perhaps" a gal her caught his eye? Powerful second half!!

Third stanza:
Now this part leaves me feeling like this person is an addiction, the "bad boy" syndrome, you know he's bad for you, but who cares!

I adore the line all by itself.. Taking all three parts and simply saying, one more time...

This poem was crafted in such a unique way, full of creativity and a style all on it's own, I have to highlight this piece!! Very nice!! (10)
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Ghost town
by Piogga

First off, after reading through some of the comments that this poem has, I was quite awed when I realised that the author is 16, I certainly was not expecting such beautiful work to come from someone quite young. I also see that it is the first poem this author has on their account and I'm quite amazed at the talent here. Such a beautifully crafted poem, and flawlessly penned and I only hope that this author begins to gain the recognition that they clearly deserve, I truly believe this is such an alluring and delightful poem. Whilst this is written in prose form, I found myself reading repeatedly and came to love the poem more each time. I look forward to reading more of this author's work in the future. (4)
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You in the Greatness
by: abaracadabra

This was an intriguing piece and made me think of personality types, how the author is writing to almost an ambiguous figure that you are now revealing in observations. Little things that may be normally hidden or unknown about this person, how they often aren't concerned too much with others but have that capacity to love fully and deeply one chosen person. I really connected with the "star gazing" reference as I am now wondering what people think about when doing that activity, do they wish? Do they feel relaxed? I almost get the feeling this person is almost relieved they feel something or see something that isn't everlasting, these people know stars are dying and somehow it makes suffering okay, or makes it more easy to accept. I don't really know.... it also made me think maybe this person enjoys seeing others destruction? Because that silence and quietness of people avoiding issues is gone.... there is a break in gravity this person can sense.

I adored how you gave these "scenes", in the office, the movement of the ocean, and the train ride home. Is it a comfort zone thing? Knowing you can feel people around you, not just move but watching them around you making sound, vibrations, stirrings....maybe it makes you feel like you are contributing, you are one string being played that can make changes.

Such an interesting piece, it really is like nothing I've read before, I feel I've seen into the eyes of this person for a minute and I'm left to make a decision about them. Great read! (7)
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You in the Greatness
by Abracadabra

I don't know what it is about this poem that I liked the most. Would it be the imagery, the semi mystery, or everything?

In each stanza I got a different image. Though the second one wasn't much of an image but it's my favorite, " but sometimes you love one person a lot, a sweet symbiosis reflecting many tiny pieces of you."

I like how the poet showed and analyzed this person. I got the feeling the narrator was someone closed specially after reading stanza one.

This poem reminded me of those people who lose themselves in their thoughts, in their own world though this someone seems at least to me like someone who feels superior.

Well written. (7)

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In Your Dark Corner
by Hellon

I enjoyed this poem from start to finished, the repetition of "to and fro, to and fro" made it sound real. It took me straight to picture someone rocking a chair. It also has this haunting feeling surrounding it. I'm not sure about the meaning but I thought whoever was rocking in the chair passed away. I also liked the use of "sometimes I pray," and how the following stanza sounds like a prayer. I felt the prayer asked for the old and hurtful memories to be sweep away, and suddenly, this someone is taken into a desolate place, just walking and walking until is no longer alone, this someone is welcome.. and I love the ending "to and fro, to and fro" continue moving constantly, just continue no more trembling thoughts.. that's what I understood.

Though, I also thought that this someone asked for the night to remove the thought of dying, to let the night help this someone sleep, to just sleep and rest. Life seems to have been hard and perhaps having an eternal sleep would have helped but this someone knows is not the answer, so continue continue "to and fro" "to and fro" with life. (10)
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HM COOMMENTS:

Destination Nowhere
by Hellon

When the subject of Alzheimer's is placed in a poem, to adorn the words with a beautifully flowing rhyme scheme is the perfect touch, this piece was flawless in a billowy rhythm, making it comfortable to read, for the message is bound to make the reader cry.

It leaves you drenched in sadness, and yet the author added an elegant feeling for the poem itself.
Alzheimer's is a train ride to nowhere and at the end, it's a wreckage, leaving the mind in devastation.

I admire the angle of family to loved one inflicted.. and perhaps it's also displayed from start to finish, as the patient progresses with this tragic disease.

I've read numerous poems about this subject matter and I have to say this is one that stands above the rest. (7)
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Oblivion
by Poet on the Piano

I am always amazed at what this author manages to create within her work and how she constantly seems to find inspiration in the smallest things in her life and yet again I find myself completely blown away at this marvellous piece. It's a poem that is filled with so many thought provoking questions, because even as we all live our lives, don't we all ponder about death more than we do about life? Certainly, much more than we should do.I enjoyed the sudden transition from talking about the classmate, to talking directly to the reader, it certainly gave the poem more feeling.Excellent question at the end, something that allows the reader to really ponder on the meaning of life and such a stark and unexpected end to the poem. Amazing work as always from this author, of which I've come to expect no less. (10)

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Kodak
by: Colm

I was held by the simplicity of this piece yet the thought when I read in between the lines, there's such a finality that is almost having a mournful tone, knowing these kodak moments and moments that should be captured or just one time, they die and one is left to move on.

I loved the closeness of that opening line, almost as if they are drawn and have been connected by photography, and making the most of single times where they can make the most of the most 'worthy' moments. So much is said in so few words, which makes me truly admire this piece for its character. There is a sense of adventure in this piece, from Paris to birthday parties, it makes me feel as if these two people, lovers perhaps, are on the go because they feel life is fleeting, so they travel sporadically. "the tickling of our hands" gave such sentiment, it made me smile, and that was a sweet moment to include.... it definitely brought out the sadness of the ending line, how the realization arrives that one person is without the other. Maybe there was separation because these moments can't last forever, that's reality.

One cannot always live in a 'dreamworld' where we can truly and fully make memories, sometimes we can't, sometimes we ruin it for ourselves or keep ourselves away from seeing different perspectives when we're caught up in "the moment". Incredible thought in this piece, and really clever with the "taxidermist and cremator". There is much more depth here I feel the author intends. Well done. (10)
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My love for you is selfish.
by silvershoes

I'm usually really against the constant use of "I, I'm" etc in poetry, however I found this worked really well here. I really enjoyed the similes that were present throughout the poem, as it enabled me to begin to imagine just how much the author loves the person they are talking to/about, along with creating quite drastic imagery at times "I love you like my captive" for example. The whole poem had me pondering on love and when it becomes too much and turns into obsession, because can't that too often so easily occur? We need to perfect the balance of loving someone in a positive way without letting it turn into a negative way and I find many people don't even realise when that is happening at times.Particularly enjoyed the last line, as even though the poem made me think about both the positive and negative side of love, I found this line to be emotionally touching and very sweet, a lovely way to end this elegantly penned poem. (7)

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Discernibility by: Britt

I enjoyed the whole atmosphere of this image, it was a different feel, not something I would have related to as it's two stanzas are extraordinarily vivid. Another 'new' experience for me was reading about an octopus, and it being victimized. I guess because of size and it's ability to maneuver in tight corners, I think an octopus has the higher hand, it's not susceptible to small things that catch in the surroundings-- the seaweed. So I was surprised and felt sadness that the octopus was trapped so suddenly, without any warning.

The "she" also gets me, it's vague in all the right places I feel because if too much is given away, it takes away the mystery that keeps my interest! I admire how the poet didn't give a direct explanation or anything, more up to the reader's creativity and imagination if this is meant as something deeper than literally and what that something is. I personally like how it left the reader hanging almost in confusion! I felt this "she" being the drifter was frustrating for her that she moved on without another word or action.... such a unique piece, it's truly stunning and the author should take pride. (4)

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Discernability
by Britt

I enjoyed reading this poem. The use of imagery stands out. It made me empathize with the octopus, no one help him, not even the girl who was watching him. The first stanza, made me think about injustices and how often times innocents are caught up in jail because everything points out that they are the culprits but turns out they aren't.

However, in this short write the only think that points as the octopus being innocent is the narrator stating it. Otherwise, I could think the octopus was playing around and so the seaweed caught him, and in turn end up severing his tentacles, but I usually see the seaweed in the water moving calmly so I would assumed the seaweed was innocent because the seaweed was calmly in the water, when the octopus got in its way, it could have been more like an accident. So the octopus for being careless got what he looked for per se... He searched to play but troubled found him instead. But since the narrator clearly states it. I am just seeing the octopus as the innocent.

So the title, it's kind of confusing and the second stanza too, but I like the imagery. I feel this needs a bit more work and it will be really good. (4)
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Even In Death, She Grows
by Hannah Lizette

Nature and death go hand in hand- The author of this piece took this to new heights in creativity and I admire the beauty of this piece immensely.

Even in death, new growth- rebirth begins it's one of the most fascinating gifts of life.
There is sorrow and sadness, but also a positive and refreshing beauty as well.

I adore the word usage, bringing this little nature piece to life from start to finish.

This poem is a touching display of life after death, and I feel I'm being repetitive in my comment, but I can't express enough just how elegant this piece is, Beautiful! (4)

Congrats winners, well deserved.

Congrats winners and HM's.
Thanks judges and Chelsey!!

Awesome work, congratulations winners & HM's!!!
Thank you judge for the HM and beautiful comment.

@.@!!!

Quality writes people :)

Congrats to winners and HMs...

Thank you to judges for comments...

Hey chels I found you :/ lol

Congrats to all!

and thanks for my HM! :)

Congratulations poets, winners & HMs.

Very good work, Chelsey.

Judge 5 is expected back soon.

Congratulations!

Congrats, everyone!

What a smacking great surprise. I felt very awkward about that poem, but am glad it has received such positive feedback from two intuitive and insightful people. Thank you judges, nominators, commenters, and Chelsey.

Queen, you are hot.

Thank you, but let's face it, that red skirt of yours is way hotter!

Oh. Thank you for the honorable mention! I have to agree with the winners chosen this week. Excellent poems.

Sorry for the delay in saying thank you...I've been bumming around WA camping this past week or so and am only now catching up with things...P&Q included :)

Thanks for the lovely comments, both on my win and the HM..both very much appreciated. Congrats to the other winners and HMs.