Contest Winners- April 29, 2013

Hello everyone! We finally have a full staff of 5 judges :)

3 clear winners this week!!

Congrats to all, stunning poetry highlighted!

Sometimes I Forget
by: Colm - 10+ 10 + 4= 24

A New Kind of Winter
by: Noura- 10 + 4+ 4 = 18

Keeping Up Appearances
by Tara Kay- 7 + 7 = 14

HM's:

Authors Note (2)
by myonlymoon (10)

Resiled Happiness
by Meme (10)

Crossing Cobblestone Streets
by The Huntress and The Queen (7)

A Timeless Romance (Swap Quatrain)
by Meena Krish (7)

Playing With Fire.
by Linda Leavers - 7 + 4= 11

Time
by Allan Padgham(4)

WINNER COMMENTS:

Sometimes I Forget
by: Colm

Every bit of this poem is something quite amazing...the poet's ability to be artistic and give every word its purpose makes me fall in love with the brilliance of this poem, how much expression there truly is! The word choice was phenomenal, especially since it was for a club contest, since it's hard when given a set of words to have a poem mean something but also flow. I agree that the poet did not just throw words together or side by side.
I did use a dictionary for a few of these words but it made the verses all the more entrancing.... there is also something sensual and extremely prosaic when certain lines are read aloud "to tickle the starfish of interest" and "a slave to your nectarine sway", these words just feel right and like they were born to be together! This woman seems very eccentric to me, and the more I read, the more I find this woman wants admiration, seeking the utmost attention, but not necessarily being all that sincere in the end. Wonderful work! Each feeling expressed was brought in a new way that paved a path of wonder for me as the reader....and I loved how the poet used "soundtracked" as a verb, never came across that before! (10)
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Sometimes I Forget
by Colm

This is really an incredibly sensual and sexual poem masked behind these beautiful yet strange words. I see it was written for a contest and saw similar words in other poems, but Colm had a really interesting way of placing them. Not only did he make them overly poetic and painted a picture, but he made this challenge look like a breeze. My favorite parts were definitely how he used nectarine, so sensual and done in a very delicate way. This poem is dirty yet proper, a delightful twist. (10)
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Sometimes I Forget
by Colm

I do love and admire Colm's artistry in this poem! His word usage simply leaves me smiling!

When a heart loves, it feels full, alive and fluttery: Colm uses " parasol heart." A form of protection, such as a light umbrella, shielding the heart from the light of "her" and yet feeling vulnerable to her "nectarine sway"..... Beautiful imagery....

This piece has me feeling as if he is smitten to this "quirky" beauty and yet shielded by her enchanting ways... The words used within this poem is Delicious!! Really love this piece,
makes the reader come alive in each line. I also admire Colms ability to see a side of his personality in this piece as well... Really a marvelous poem! (4)
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A New Kind of Winter
by Noura

What I have always admired about Noura, is her ability to capture her deepest sorrow and paint it with elegance within her poetry. In detail she allows the reader to gather in her reality, vision the devistation that is taking place and at the end wanting to embrace her every word.

This poem left me speechless. She has detailed words that I feel are markers for certain time frame events, just as April and August. Losing a loved one, in a war torn environment
is the vision that is so eloquently orchestrated in this piece.

Each stanza depicts the authors feelings to a tee, what she sees and to write this; talking to her father just breaks my heart.

Beautiful and captivating poem by this dear lady, I can't express anymore than that, brilliant piece of poetry! (10)
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A New Kind of Winter
by: Noura

The emotion in this poem is so raw and absolutely tears my insides when I am reading... I too cannot imagine the violence in Syria now, or the wars and rebellions going on. I just hear about it on the news. But this is your homeland. You're seeing this. My heart aches at these lines and I like how you put your heart out there, almost trying to reassure that this country is the peaceful country it used to be:

"I try to unfold my love for this city,
to stretch my love along its alleys,
to hang my love, a lamp in its dark streets,
a patrol man comes hurrying to seize
me and my love and parade us
in the national museum."

The ending gave me chills, especially when you write with such rawness toward your father, missing and calling back those days where you had time. There was such a grey atmosphere too here, and I liked I could almost feel the rain falling down when you mentioned it throughout the poem. What a sorrowful poem and I can only pray the killings end and there is no "enemy". (4)
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A New Kind of Winter by Noura

Written in spring, where my area just got their summer start, I was intrigued by the title.. and then I delved into a poem of anguish, heartbreak and desperation. I can't help but just ache when I read this poem.. knowing that the pain is so real and so fresh like a brand new wound. I truly hope writing does help in even the slightest way possible. The pictures written here are hard to read, so I can't imagine witnessing them face to face every day. In the hurt and destruction Noura has written a brilliant poem, I just hate that such awful things had to happen to give this such inspiration here.

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Keeping Up Appearances
by Tara Kay

This poem is a delightful piece of imagery at its finest! In this piece, Tara Kay shows us the realistic side of a lady trying to keep up appearances, "holding it together" while inside feeling the powerful emotions that weigh the heart down.

The feelings of being scattered in the heart come to mind here. Losing lip gloss on the bus; takes me to a lady trying feverishly to hold it together in her daily life, holding back tears with a smile. I can actually feel the clothing sway in the breeze in this poem and feel the frazzled expressions on the face...

The nature tones are incredible and it sets the scene in this poem to a tee! The imagery set within this poem leaves me speechless! (7)
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Keeping Up Appearances
by Tara Kay

I found this poem to be overwhelming in it's emotion. You really feel for the author and I'm sure so many people can relate, I certainly can. "It's so tough keeping up appearances, pretending you are fine, but even more difficult when life knocks you out of line..." Such simple wording and yet it really conveys everything that this poem is trying to convey all on its own. We all try to keep up apperances, to maintain that facade so others think we are okay when in reality we are far from being alright and it is tough, at times even exhausting. I like how the author moves on to the next part here, because I think when life gets difficult, all any of us want really is to be rescued and told that everything will be okay. Such a short poem and yet one that really makes an impact. Lovely work Tara. (7)
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HM COMMENTS:

Authors Note (2)
by myonlymoon

What an absolutely breath-taking poem! The detail the author penned here really captivates me and I found this poem to be unique and elegantly written. "I have found myself dabbling daily in the lovers section sifting through weary hearts and altered endings," What a lovely way to describe this, unique phrasing and gives off a tired and lonely feeling to the reader, which is of course amplified when the poet mentions that also further on. The emotion in this poem is astounding, something that the reader can relate to and feel and it creates empathy and understanding in relation to the author's own emotions. Beautifully crafted. (10)
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Resiled Happiness
by Meme

This was a tough decision, I was unsure whether to give a 10 or 7, and towards the end I finally made my decision. I'm not sure about the first stanza but I think the word "choreograph" needs to be"choreography."
" Each drop was competing in a perfect choreography."
^ somehow, choreograph sounds strange and I think it's because choreograph is a verb where as choreography is the noun. However, I like the thought and the image of the rain creating a choreography.
On the second stanza, "I stand there" I believe it should be "I stood there ..." because on the first stanza it says " and there I was" which was in past tense so I feel the second stanza should also be in past tense.
" I stood there with closed eyes and I just listened to the melodic sounds of every beat,"
Now on the part that follows " as the sky prospers sending all those blessings upon the trees." <-- this sounds odd to me. And I feel the reason is because prospers is in present tense and I feel it should be in past tense prospered, I feel that it will sound better as:
as the sky prospered, sending all those blessings upon the trees or

as the sky prospered blessings upon the trees.
then on the line that follows:
"and I keep reminding myself to," I also feel that it should be in past tense "I kept reminding myself to.." or you can say : Ever since, I keep reminding myself to...
Other than that, I felt peace when I read this poem. I was taken to that moment in the rain and I also found myself breathing and it relaxed me. Overall, an enchanting piece.

"Each drop was competing
in a perfect choreography;
and there I was, just like a
kid with opened palms trying
to catch each and every
one of them.

I stood there with closed
eyes and I just listened to the
melodic sounds of every beat
as the sky prospered, sending all
those blessings upon the trees.

And I kept reminding myself to.."

^ I like this and the repetition of breathe too. (10)

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Crossing Cobblestone Streets
by the Huntress and the Queen

I know this poem got an HM last week but I'm hoping to see this on the front page. Two poets with very different styles meshed together in a seamless effort and made it look so perfect and beautiful. The descriptions are so mind boggling-ly beautiful. I also like the punctuation. It's almost a little over done but it added such strength and purpose to me. It was like the writers were telling you "this is how you NEED to read it" and you feel the full effect. Add all of that to the ending.. a one liner with so much heart and impact. Just.. wow. (7)
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A Timeless Romance (Swap Quatrain)
by Meena Krishâ¨

A timeless Romance is like the title says a Romance between the moon and ocean. An imaginative poem that lets the mind wonder as well as picture the scene given by the narrator. I enjoyed reading this poem. I also found the rhymes to be well done. The author executed them with ease and also the repetition of the first and the fourth line didn't bother me which is a good thing and lets me know that the poem was well written Plus, Kudos because the author managed to inverse the first and last lines in each stanza and still adhered to the rhyming as well as continue the story. I can also take the moon and the ocean as personification so all in all a well written piece. (7)

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Playing With Fire. by: Linda Leavers

Wow, I feel speechless and like I'm bursting with so many thoughts at the same time after reading this poem. Firstly, the beginning really reminds me of a poem called "Repetition" by Phil Kaye, it's slam poetry I heard once that starts the poem out repeating one word over and over again- supposedly to make it meaningless. I just have to say I honestly love how you started out with numbers....and I had no idea this would be about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Sure, we learned about it in psych class but I know I am nowhere close to understanding it. This poem envelops me completely. I just am in awe of how consuming it is and the way the poet writes with sometimes clipped lines simply states over and over again the persistence of this disorder, this shadow so to speak. I LOVED how the poet gave specifics, because it was nothing I was expected nor had ever heard before and I know people have to have certain routines, but the way in this was written shows how calculated the mind is too.... how fragile this person is especially with these ending lines...the concern and emotion and pleading reaches that peak at the end- like if no one understands the atmosphere is not changing, and that one thing said was with humor but not perceived that way, there could be a domino effect. I feel so much weight on this poet's heart when reading this. There's so much I feel that she wrote that has compassion towards other people, how they will be impacted. There's also that frustration, anxiety, agitation that such a thing exists. What an incredible poem, it's such a deep perspective and voice here. (7)
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Playing With Fire.
by Linda Leavers

I really like the repetition to begin with. I wasn't sure at first until I read further on and saw the mention of OCD, and then found it to work very well. I found this whole poem to be so raw and filled with so much emotional turmoil throughout and could feel the author's pain as they described how they are constantly affected by this illness. "It's rude of you to interrupt my eyes." This line really stood out to me, I found it to be so unique and it makes one ponder on the times they have done something like this-was that person suffering in the same way? I wasn't expecting the ending, I was assuming that the poem was going to focus on the author alone and it interrupted the flow a little for me, however it also made me think on how we should be nice to others...because we never really know just how we are going to affect someone. Lovely work. (4)
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Time
by Allan Padgham

When I read this poem, I enjoyed the flow and the rhymes. They didn't bored me a bit. I continued reading several times and they still don't bored me nor bothered me at all.
Then I continued reading and I paid attention to the words. Time is rather fleeting, indeed. It goes by so fast and we might try to catch it but it just fleets away from our grasp.
I like the line "time flows by me like a river" because the river may flow smoothly or may flow harshly, so the way one interprets that line is up to the reader.

Some parts of the poem may sound cliche, however, I like how this poem was delivered to the reader. (4)

Whooot! Congratulations Noura, Colm and Tara Kay!! Beautiful poetry!

and congratulations Hm's as well :-)

Thank you for the comments judges...wasn't expecting this one to win!

and congrats to all the other winners and HM's.
xxx

Thanks and congrats guys!!! :))
Got some good judges!

Thank you so much for the comment and suggestions Judge X, I updated my poem :)

Great day in the morning! Everything clicked this week.

Thanks judges & Chelsey.

Congratulations winners & HMs.

Awesome job Chelsey & judges! Congrats everyone!!!

Yay! I guess this is the first time I get 3 comments!

Good job, chelsy and thank you, judges, so much for the uplifting comments. Yeah, writing about it really helps.

Congratulations Tara Kay and Colm and HMs. All of this weeks poems were enjoyable.

Thanks judges for the time and the comments. Well done to other winners and all involved :)

Congratulations all.

Thank you host and judges.