Contest Winners- May 6, 2013

Wow First week of May....we are moving right along here!!

Congrats to this weeks winners!!

From a moment with apples
by Abracadabra- 10 +10 + 7 + 7 = 34

The other side of midnight
by Karla- 10 + 7 = 17

Antithetical To Life
by Tara Kay - 10

Shellfish
by The Huntress (10)

With Him
by Chelsey (7)

Jesus Cried That Night
by Adonis (7)

Psalm 1:3 4 points
by beauty from ashes - 4 + 4 = 8

Tin Roof Blues
by Hannah Lizette (4)

He Could Keep the Heart!!
by Real Meaning (4)

I forgot her face, clouded by a daydream
by: Darren (4)

WINNERS COMMENTS:

From A Moment with Apples
by abracadabra

This poem just oozes images and is very sensory. What an interesting thought that apples would taste like the sun. We could take it literally and be it refreshing, or figuratively and spin into the sense of feeling like you have all the light of the world in your hands (or mouth, and knowing just the right things to say at the right time). I really like the structure, which is different from the norm we see from Abby. I also really like the way the sentences are articulated -- the sentences that seem like they could run on forever with the beauty she created. I can't help but crave fruit after reading this for all it's magic and interest. Beautiful as always. (7)
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From a moment with apples
by abracadabra

Now this is a nature poem at it's finest!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't give enough exclamation marks for this poem to express my adoration!

For starters, the title takes me directly to the start, the moment or memory with apples.. standing next to a tree with dangling red, juicy fruit, breathtaking from the start.

Wizened is a delightful word to read for a description of a more mature or ripened apple and I love that!

Eating a fresh apple from the tree truly does feel like biting into the sun so I really enjoy that line. This is such a refreshing nature poem. I feel like I'm rambling, but the visual display is so powerful!

The format used by the author, truly was a delight and all I can say is.. this poem is BEAUTIFUL! (10)

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From a moment with apples
by Abracadabraâ

"From a moment with apples," it's one of those poems that leaves the reader agreeing with the content of the poem yet wondering what exactly was that Abracadabra meant by "apples taste like the sun." I mean of course, it's a simile and it's not supposed to be taken literal, but I can't help but wonder how does the sun taste like? ( not that I want to try it, my existence would be eradicated if I tried to taste it and actually, I wouldn't even have the means to reach the sun) but I'm itching to know how would it taste.

I have heard that comparison before but I didn't understand it nor felt it. However, after reading this poem I can sort of feel it. What I like the most about this piece is that it took me to that afternoon in the old apple tree. I also enjoyed the journey I was taken into and the simplicity of the poem.

I also wonder where was this tree located, what made the narrator visit it? and how come the narrator picked the fallen fruits and not the ones from the tree? or did the tree even had any fruits?
Also water was surrounding it, was it the only tree standing? It's not that my question matter, it only means that I was taken into that one scene and that I would like to know more.

When I read the poem, I see this person walking through the yellow grass, though the use of "waded" makes me think there could be water in the grass, as well as "I heard water bubbling again in its bed" makes me believe the whole scene is surrounded by water.

I can't help but picture just one tree standing while being surrounded by yellow grass and water
and the person approaching it. My thoughts are that perhaps this tree is far away in a different land that perhaps the persona found it a while back and now she/he has returned to visit it.

And because of all of that, I arrived to the conclusion that the persona may have picked the fallen apples just to see what they taste like. It's hard to explain what's going on in my head, but if the old apple tree is able to stand the water and its surroundings and still give fruits, one can too. And those wrinkled apples despite looking old, they were sweet. So just as Abracadabra said: apples taste like the sun, they give one the taste that life will continue on and on for many years, if not forever. (10)
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From a moment with apples
by: Abracadabra

This is a very surreal moment created by the author.
I feel almost timeless as I am entering this scene, like this old apple tree is something reminiscent of my childhood and always bore fruit loved by all. I adore the true essence of this piece, how the author delves their whole being into this moment of eating apples and how she is not just fed, but indulged in that belief that life is possibly eternal and that hope can definitely remain for the future. I love the breaks in the lines, how there were three lines to each stanza except for the last line, and how perfectly each word flowed to the next. I definitely could relate to the "I ate with real greed, reaching for more.", because sometimes I think we all go through that want for more, whether it's a delectable taste or even knowledge and foresight.

Wonderful last line! I have never made the connection or thought about the analogy between apples and the taste of the sun, but it is very refreshing to read and very spirited! Great write! (7)

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The other side of midnight
by: Karla

I greatly enjoyed the abstract details with almost a conceptual background in the beginning lines, as if this man is searching very articulately for the rate of success he can achieve in life and with love. Then in the second stanza, I feel such empathy, because the way he is described makes my heart be pained especially with the "his eyes were an eruption of salt and blood", that assures me he has gone through struggle day and night. I also was immensely intrigued by these lines "but insanity lasts forever when love flows toward the other side of midnight." - I felt loss here but also something else, that this man has maybe lived life for so long, that it never grows on him, but makes him age faster... he only has a few moments he can appreciate something, not his whole life. I loved the line breaks and the one lined statements kind of giving this poem more edge to see the reality that this woman is moving on in style so to speak, and that she covers herself with other materials things to mask the past. I was surprised by the direction in the last few lines, but my heart was taken by that question "How long will we use them to cause harm?". This makes me believe these words said were so detrimental to the relationship, maybe it wasn't a certain act that split these two people apart, it was the words themselves and how they took their own action. Such a provoking piece, well done! (10)
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The other side of midnight
by Karla

What I like the most about this poem is the poem's way of coming alive. The images are concrete at least to me, and the story too. I see two people having a discussion well more like a confrontation where they said things they shouldn't have. And how many times have we not done that? so the question towards the end, had an impact on me. Sometimes we just say words without thinking and we end up regretting them but at times our ego plays a big part that we can't take them back. This was a great poem. (7)
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Antithetical To Life
by Tara Kay
This has to be one of my favourite poems on this site so far. The opening verse is beautifully crafted and I adore the mention of the different musical instruments, music always has a way to amplify our pain but also has its own special way of healing us, too.

"I can't seem to be content with where I've made my bed,
and every night when I'm asleep, death plays in my head."

This is, simply, heart-breaking. So often we find ourselves unhappy, in-content, and either wondering what else is out there for us or wondering why we should keep on trying and the author creates such a sense of hopelessness and regret here that it's difficult for the reader not to feel her pain as well.

I thought the last verse was the strongest, whilst the melancholy and agitation can be felt from the start of the poem, it is here I believe, that we really begin to understand the depth of the author's pain. Lovely work as always from Tara. (10)
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HM COMMENTS:

Shellfish
by The Huntress

The Huntress provided a really well, seemingly thought-out piece of poetry with this. I see it was for a challenge and I'm unsure if there was anything specific she had to write about, but regardless it's beautiful and touching. I love the metaphor of an oyster and the pearl and feel it was so well played out here. Huntress always has a vivid detail about her poetry that makes it so interesting and entertaining to read, and the capability to apply unique items and turn it into an every day thought it mind blowing. The ending blew me away as well with the drinking an oceans child. To be in her brain for five seconds would be magical, thats what these poems are. Well done!

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With Him
by: Chelsey

Love the first few lines as I think we can all relate or have been able to relate at one point or another. Who doesn't turn to the less favourable coping mechanisms when someone we love leaves us?

"The only 'wasted' that would come about is time... wasting as we stare." I find this line to be incredibly bittersweet and it allows me to reminisce of those first days with a loved one when you can't get enough of each other and want to spend every second with them, even if you're not actually doing anything important.

I also like the subtle repetition here. Last two verses are what moved me the most. We try so hard, so often, to pretend we have moved on when we are far from doing so and that is captured perfectly here-that love lingers even if you're attempting your best to pretend that it doesn't. Lovely work. (7)
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Jesus Cried That Night
by Adonis

A spiritual, yet in depth poem concerning the world's destruction today- Absolutely breathtaking and heartbreaking. Adonis takes us to new arches of sadness with this piece.

You can visualize a higher power- Jesus, weeping to see the tragedy taking place below.

Not only do I feel this piece as a reader, I can visualize and this poem brings a freshness to the realm of spiritual poems. Its sadness can be felt from start to finish.

Word usage such as champagne and carnage are powerful words used for this poem, not to mention the ending... what a powerful ending!

"whose souls ran to wipe the tears
off of his face." -

One of the best endings I've read to date! (7)

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Psalm 1:3
by beauty from ashes

This piece is truly elegant... It does read like a psalm.. I admire the graceful tone of this spiritual life poem, but also the nature base message makes me speechless.

Its simplistic and easy to read but also its in depth emotion is very powerful.

It reads as a moral/message... I really like that, story based poem almost like a childhood fable, and that is what makes this poem unique in my eyes.

Love the message of the young tree conversing with the wind, and tieing the title into the poem is very unique, The author did a lovely job with this poem!! (4)
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Psalm 1:3 by beauty from ashes

Everything about this poem poetically (minus the message) is against everything I usually like.. and thats why it's so interesting that I have almost an obsession with reading this poem. The message itself is overwhelming and something believers really need to remind themselves. I also like how this can be relatable to someone of any faith, it kind of crosses the border with using "wind" and creation. There are so many things we think we can do better, or should be, or WANT to be and we have to remember we aren't for a reason. It's a hard message to swallow but also so comforting at the same time. For a poet new to PnQ they've sure got my attention quick! (4)
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Tin Roof Blues
by: Hannah Lizette

So often we see the cliche kind of love poem on here-boy meets girl, boy leaves, girl cries. So it was incredibly nice to see such a refreshing kind of poem about a lost relationship.

The imagery in this little piece is astounding, I'm able to visualise everything that the author describes and can't help for feel sympathy and emotion for her. I also liked how the title was incorporated into the poem, it made me think of rain pitter pattering on the window while she cries over her loss, feeling so alone.

"She should have sent him away yesterday
before he slapped her with common sense. "

Favourite part of this, I thought these lines were filled with despondency and grief and it's very easy for the reader to feel the author's hurt and anger. Huge fan of the vocabulary used in this and I think this is such a classy and elegant write. (4)
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He Could Keep the Heart!!
by Real Meaning

"He could keep the Heart," it's a sweet yet sad poem. I'm unsure whether to feel content or sad or how? I get a mixture of feelings. It's interesting how puppies can take our hearts with them and above all its interesting how our hearts end up being not ours but from the people/pets we love. I know this poem is about a puppy though I think instead of spelling it as "poppy" it should be "puppy."
Other than that, I feel this poem captured the image of the pup and the sadness of the narrator but the idea of the narrator saying that the puppy could keep his heart, his love, is sweet that he only needs the puppy back. (4)
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I forgot her face, clouded by a daydream
by: Darren

What a moving and honest poem this is, the author opens up with the reader and in turn the reader is realizing many things.Two lines that stood out to me was this
"A place where meddlesome thoughts cloud realism and belief
I lost sight of your eyes."

- How often do we do this with everyday things? Losing sight of meaning, of what it is to gaze at another's eyes and wordlessly understand them.

This is a soft, gentle reminder of the work true love takes and how once finding it, it does need to be kindled and constantly cherished. Great piece! (4)

Daaaang Abby's poem is a runaway with all those points!

Congrats to Abby for what must be a record 34 pts!
Congrats to the other winners & HMs.

Thanks judges & Chelsey

Wow guys! Congrats winners and HMs! :)

Congratulations to the other winners. And all the HM's...amazing poems this week...what a total Abby!

Thank you judge for the lovely comment
and as always, Thanks Chelsey! x

Congrats winners and HMs!
Thanks so much for my HM! :)

Wow, congrats winners & HM's!!!

Wow, look, we have yet another tie! :)

Congrats, everyone, especially to Abby and Karla, good job guys!

Thanks Chelsey for posting this!

Great!

Congrats Winners and HMs:)

Good work Chels:):)

What a treat to have four awesome comments all for me. It amazes me to have an odd comment or vote or nothing on my poem, and then find it on the front page a few days later. Who are you, mystery readers?

That poem was indeed from another time and place.

Thanks to my mysterious readers, voters and judges. Keep up your tireless tiresome work, Chelsey.

LOL tireless tiresome, perfect def!

btw thanks for my HM!!

Thank you for thanking me thanking you thanking me...

Thanks so much judges! It was a lovely surprise to find my poem starring the main board together with Abby's and Tara's. Congrats HM's too.