Contest Winners- May 13, 2013

Hello Everyone! 3 clear winners this week! Well done to you front page winners! And congrats to the Hm's as well!

Thank you once again judges :)

The Typewriter
by: Adonis - 10 + 7 = 17

Sight Unseen
by Lostlove1 - 10 + 7 + 4= 21

Balky
by Britt - 7 + 7 = 14

HM's:

Jesus Cried That Night
by Adonis (10)

I Can't Be Fixed
by Maria (10)

Echoes
by Tara Kay (7)

Sparkling Hope
by Hannah Lizette- 4 + 4 = 8

I Love You for You
by Real Meaning - 4 + 4 = 8

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WINNER COMMENTS:

Sight Unseen
by Lostlove1

Where do I start? From start to finish this poem is breathtaking!

Connie has led us on a visual journey of the heart and more. I could visualize a woman in a relaxed state, meditative trance, feeling the warmth of a loved one from afar. LOVE THIS piece!

The title is priceless for this in depth poem, its the magical things unseen that the heart feels and sees... Beautiful!

The eyes are the window, but the soul is core of a person, and within the starting stanza, she captures that essence in true style.

Again in the second stanza, we have visualization of melting hands near an open fire... very creative and it helps the reader to feel the moment and dream of such a moment..

The ending is what grabbed me the most!

" stirrings
of a tangled alphabet "

^^^ now that line is wonderful!! The moment of a warm and comforting conversation, tangled in letters..

this poem is a visual delight.. What I like most about this piece overall, is when you read it outloud and I did several times, it sings a beautiful flow... gorgeous while reading out loud, and after I read it outloud, I knew this was my 10 choice.. Brilliant!! (10)

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Sight Unseen
by Lostlove1

"Sigh Unseen" is a poem that takes advantage of the different themes of how one can get to know a person in order to state a point. For instance, the first stanza talks about the eyes, and we know that through the eyes we can see the soul of a person per se, yet lostlove1 states that she has seen the most beautiful part of his/her soul but not through his/her eyes. On the second stanza, lostlove1 mentions the touch, how both have been fused together "like a melting plastic in an open fire' - nice simile - yet they didn't touch. And in the third stanza, Lostlove1 focuses on speech more like communication, yet its seems the way they communicated was via words; however, those words were silent which means they didn't hear each other voices. So my guess is that this someone wrote her poems/letters which filled the emptiest part of her and made her fall in love without even seeing him/her. A lovely and meaningful poem with a fitting title. Well done (7)
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Sight Unseen
by: Lostlove1

I loved the romance of your words, how you seem to draw for your inmost thoughts and pull how you feel about this love, why you are so drawn.

"I have seen the most
beautiful part of your soul."

- these lines expressed so much for me, that despite not always knowing or not always seeing the full side of a person, you can still see their beauty, what their foundation is and what components make who they are.

"Instead it was in the silent stirrings
of a tangled alphabet that touched me
someplace even deeper."

- I liked the tones of innocence here, the moments of silence and the "tangled alphabet" that reminds me we can all get tongue-tied and not have words enough to convey the depth of that meeting.

Those last lines were brilliant and shone such a bright light onto the reader. I never would have thought someone would be ashamed for feeling this way, even if they have never seen this person before, so you pinned another thought for me to think about. I think when we hear about moments or places or visit sights, we can fall in love with them. This poem the most reminded me about writing to someone, never having met them, but knowing and understanding them through their words. And this is how the heart can then fall in love. A beautiful piece! (4)
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Balky
by Britt

Truly adore this small, power packed piece!

Britt has captured the moments of thoughts with fun and lively words, such as "mint strawberry" and using hiccup to describe the speed of a thought was fun, fun, fun!!

The second stanza is a twist for me... it's as if she is haunted perhaps by the thought and memory of this person, by using "blister" and I actually find that creative and fun..

For a small poem to create and massive amount of feelings is very difficult to do and Britt did that and much more, really admire the twist in the ending...

I noticed while reading some comments on this piece that maybe the ending is a bit flat, I tend to disagree, because; Yes, endings are very important to create a powerful punch at the end... but with this poem... the author added a softer touch at the end, which in my mind as I read it makes it graceful and tender to read.

Loving the person every mile, every painful step of the way brings to mind unconditional love and that message in the ending is very powerful... soft ending= Powerful message content... LOVE IT! (7)

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Balky
by: Britt

It's so interesting to read the quirkiness and abstract thoughts of this piece. The first opening line made me think of how rooms have scents. Just like when I walk into another person's house, their smell is different from how I know my home as smelling. These walls are almost contemplative, you affect them and they in turn remind you of this person. The simile with your thoughts dashing back and forth like a hiccup was lovely, fresh and made me think this connection between you and this person is revolutionary and a bit adventuresome. I actually love the vagueness of this "you" and how you describe the present moment but nothing specifically of this person's past. I think it takes a skilled poet to craft such meaning and not have to explain, but paint the reader into this atmosphere. The part that warmed my heart the most was the last few lines.... it read so calming too me, and that as you are living and breathing on this person's memory, and thinking like him/her, you realize this person's life has been burdened quite heavily, but you still appreciate it. The only criticism, in my opinion, is with the last line. I know the ending was probably meant to read more at a faster pace without any punctuation, but that last line seemed to conclude the poem. I felt you would be better off keeping that mystery and intrigue with a line at the end, not necessarily finalizing everything you want to say, but leaving the reader hanging and thinking of these two people. It's still a neat line and tie-in to walking in their shoes though. Great brevity here! (7)

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The Typewriter
by: Adonis

This poem has such purpose and I feel the author's potency in diction through every line, everything seems so sure like these thoughts flow forth. I liked the clever lines that make this relationship seem indescribable, how it seems to be understood only between him and her who are absorbed in one another. This is such a fascinating line:

"He wants her to be silent when she speaks,
yet loud when she's quiet."

- I loved the profoundness of this! It's a moment of guidance, like he wants her to be able to be heard in the times where she says nothing yet be admired for when she speaks.

Then, when the author goes on to speak of how he is creating another character, I feel like I am reading an archaic verse that hints at this existence, this subtlety between the lines that is reflected through his own life. Those ending lines struck me and were very unique. Sometimes one hears about how authors can get so taken in the world they have created, up to the point where they perceive their own life as a fantasy. Now, this author is wondering if this girl/woman has somehow impacted him in his past or if she is just an illusory thought. Wonderful work! (10)
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Typewriter
by: Adonis

What I love the most about this poem is how the poet created a character.. writing about the creation of someONE, and not someTHING is really unique and creative to see. I love the title, so "antique" with todays technology. I really adored the structure of the poem as well, I thought it was brief, descriptive and very... different from what we see. Line usage was wonderful. I love that ending that takes us to a twist that while he's already created her and she may actually be a real person, he can no longer figure out the difference of reality and the writing. Such a creative idea! (7)

HM COMMENTS:

Nostalgic
by: Melpomene

Instantly this poem made me realize just how often scents trigger memories. This poet has such a wonderful way with her words and metaphors, such as aloe vera in disguise as a burn. The content of the poem throughout itself is beautiful and melancholy. The poet seemingly takes you through a lifetime of pain and feeling in just a few short stanzas and wows us with her words choice yet again. This definitely needs to be seen on the front page.. beautiful work! (10)

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Jesus Cried That Night
by Adonis

The starting line "I swear Jesus cried that night," caught my attention. When I started reading the poem I thought that this piece had a mystery attached to it, but towards the end I realized it has no mystery but a simplicity that allows the reader to understand it and see what Adonis wanted us to see. I was taking into the poem and that's what I like the most. Adonis, described how the sky was looking and gave it a semi twist too. I first thought that those "grenades" could have been fireworks in the sky, but then again the use of "grenades" prompts me that it can be related to war, so nice twist also with the simile "like an outrage of aroused champagne." I also liked that Adonis clarified that it was not a feast but a carnage. My favorite stanza is the last one where the starting lines gets connected back to the poem. It explains why the narrator "swears" that Jesus cried that night and I ended up with the feeling that one of those boys is the narrator. Well done (10)
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I Can't Be Fixed
by Maria

I love this. The author manages to convey so much feeling and emotion about something so few people really understand-mental illness. The inner pain can easily be felt and I can't help but feel sympathetic towards the author.

As someone who has suffered with mental illness previously I find myself relating to the thoughts the author states here. It's always so difficult when you are wondering all the time exactly when it will be that those you love decide enough is enough and give up on you because they can't take it anymore, and the fear is ever present and something you struggle with everyday.

I thought the last lines of this poem were incredibly sad and they brought tears to my eyes. Everyday is a battle with depression and it always seems so much easier to just give up fighting because of how difficult every day becomes and the author portrays that wonderfully by mentioning she has given up on herself so long ago.

Lovely poem about something that needs more recognition and understanding. (10)

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Echoes
by Tara Kay

I find myself coming to love this author more and more as time passes by. She always manages to write so elegantly and in a way that allows the reader to understand and relate.

I keep coming back to the second verse and falling in love with it more each time I read it. I think we can all feel the same way at some point or another throughout our lifespan, when things weigh us down and start becoming too much for us to deal with and we start wondering just how long it will be before we finally break.

The thing I love most about this poem is how it's stated this road has been walked down before and it's clear that while you want to travel down it again, you're doing everything within your power to stop yourself. I believe that shows considerable strength of character, because we are always our own worst enemy and critic.

The fact that the content of this poem generally has so much stigma attached to it, the author manages to write about it in a way that is easy to understand and feel the pain behind the words. Very moving. (7)

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Sparkling Hope
by Hannah Lizette

This is, quite simply, one of the more beautiful poems I have read in a very long time. I find the imagery throughout astounding and it's written in such a lovely and elegant way and allows me to see everything the author describes very clearly in my mind.

For such a short poem I find the whole piece to be very moving and I simply adore the personification and metaphors used throughout. The author clearly has a knack for this genre if this one poem is anything to go by.

I found this to be so creative and unique and I adore it from start to finish. (4)
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Sparkling Hope

The imagery here is what won me over -- that paired with so many ideas put together that personified the moon. The moon obviously can't cry, but the moon is also something in the sky that EVERYONE in the world knows about. It's something that is on display every single day, almost in a fishbowl if you will.. so I thought that was really interesting. Such a creative little poem packed with so much punch.. but again I must say the imagery here is what is so overwhelmingly beautiful. (4)

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I Love You for You by Real Meaning

I enjoyed this poem, for the rhymes and the thought of letting the bird go, to let it be free so that it could fly and glow like a rainbow in the sky. My favorite part is the second stanza that part tells me this is about love and that the bird can be a metaphor for someone. What i am wondering is if the bird ever came back? This poem gave me the feeling of moving on as well as showed me how much the narrator loves the little bird. He loves it so much to let it go. Enchanting . (4)
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I Love You for You
by Real Meaning

Breathtaking, songlike love poem. I say songlike.. because it sings when you read it. Often times, when I choose poems, I read them out loud, to hear it.. how does it sound, and this poem was melodic!

The rhyme pattern in this piece is beautiful, creative and unique.

Real Meaning has that special knack and flare he adds to his poetry that I find very refreshing. This piece has an older poetic flare, with a touch of new! Its truly a unique poem... the word usage is beautiful!

It sings true of the quote" If you love someone, set them free"..

Watching a love fly and sore, is just one of the many feelings and visuals that I truly adore about this poem. Well done!! (4)

Congrats all and thanks!

Congrats everyone!!

thanks for the HM & sweet comments, judges!!! <3

Thank you
and Congratulations to the others..
Love the comments!
:)

Awesome work, congrats winners & HM's!!!!

Excellent choices & good work judges & Chelsey.

Congrats to the winners & HMs!