Contest Winners- June 24, 2013

Happy Summer everyone :) For those of you whose summer officially started on the 21st anyway!

Couple things to know this week: One judge was completely out of internet this week and was unable to read and comment. So we only had 4 judges.

And here is a little note from another judge:

"I apologise for the short comments due to being sick. Once the term is over I'll be pasting all of my comments and will add to these three then."

Also, 2 clear winners this week, and the site broke a tie between the 10's.

With all that said, now congrats to our winners!!

WINNNERS:

Family Portrait
by The Huntress- 7 + 7 +7 = (21)

The Town of Hypocrites
by Everlasting- 7 + 4 = (11)

Blood on the Typewriter (10)
by: Tara Kay

HM's:

Wishing Well
by Hannah Lizette (10)

The Aquarium of Deep Sea
by Real Meaning (10)
If I Stay
by The Queen (10)

Le Soleil, La Lune
by Antithesis - 4 + 4 = (8)

Vinyl and Lace
by Hannah Lizette (4)

WINNER COMMENTS:

Family Portrait
by The Huntress

I had a hard time this week. There were real good poems, poems that I wanted to give a 10, sadly I couldn't, but this one was one of them. I love how this poem immediately hits me with imagery and how the metaphor of "my mother is a rickety house" was striking.
The comparison and the ideas flowed smoothly. I can only say that Huntress your poetry amazes me specially when it comes to extended metaphors. You are able to focus on details and by details I mean connecting the thoughts to the images with ease.
As far as my interpretation, I feel the reader can just read it and they will get the gist of the poem. Well done

P.s. I like your accent and the music you chose for this poem. (7)
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Family Portrait
by The Huntress

"This poem is so heartbreakingly beautiful. It drips with sadness, emotion, vulnerability, yet surprising strength. Huntress explains her coping mechanism, which the entire piece of poetry feels like a therapy experiment (in a good way of course!). I really can't such much about this poem, as it leaves me wandering in my thoughts. So many questions as to why all this pain, why can't it be fixed? Will it ever get better? I think this poem is something so many people can easily relate to, the emotion is stark but the sequence is vague enough that it opens for so much interpretation." (7)
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Family Portrait
by: The Huntress

I found this poem to be such an expressive poem about the author's family and her view on them over the years. It was personal yet I feel like the author chose her words wisely to portray this "portrait" and sketch of who we imagine her family to be like.

Definitely an eloquent piece, I liked the ease of the stanzas, and how each stanza had a lot to offer between the lines as well, so this could be a very interpreted piece.

The opening metaphor is strong- immediately I pictured the mother's strength, keeping her family afloat and raising her children right even with lifes' storms. I liked that the author mentioned secrets and almost this invisible burden that haunts the mother. Whether it's because she feels powerless to help her own self, or that she can't renew her relationship with her husband, it leaves a lot of questions open.

"My father knows where to find those
broken bones, but doesn't like
being a grave digger."

- This line threw me, I feel like you made this very distinct to show the truth that the father knew of the mother's feelings of hopelessness, but never found repose for them.
Very interesting image, a bit chilling!

The sadness in this poem reminds me of not just communication being lost among family members, but that clarity of understanding. The reason is staring straight at him but the father is still lost as to why there is such an unease between them. The more the author goes on with this write, the more I think and can relate to the author being the "peacemaker", trying to cover up things to move ahead and hide away the hurts...but sometimes they still remain.

A deep, delving write. Gorgeous! (7)
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The Town of Hypocrites
by Everlasting

I'm not used to this style of writing from Luce and I have to say, it was pulled off beautifully. The whole theme, content, narration and imagery all meld together to create a poem that is dark, haunting and eerie in itself and yet wonderful in its literacy aspect. I was fond of the personification in the poem, you don't often find people personifying evil in their work. Lovely. (7)
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The Town of Hypocrites by: Everlasting (4)

What a brutal, striking poem about a home town transforming into a site for bloodshed and mistrust. The author had hopes for this place she grew up in, yet I almost get the hint she has become more betrayed as time goes by and there is corruption among the people.

Very vivid, honest images. The author omits nothing and speaks powerfully about solitude as well, using that along the piece. It makes me think this loneliness was never peace to the people. First, they abused alcohol then turned to blood for some kind of satisfaction. Solitude never rested within them and the people never found out the truth about themselves, never gave it a chance.

A chilling write darkly weaving in the message of what a hypocrite is and can do as well as touching a personal note with the author's "home town".

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Blood on the Typewriter
by: Tara Kay

The depth in this poem cannot go unnoticed. The creativity and care put into the author's words from the Hemingway quote stood out to me, as well as the picture of the girl with the typewriter underneath her arms!

Just from the title, the image of blood on a typewriter is a very stark contrast in my opinion. I think of typewriters as archaic, maybe a bit dusty, but beautiful nonetheless, a pure, untainted part of history. Thinking of blood on typed up words makes me think of not just a wound physically but an internal struggle of what should be expressed.

There was quite a sense of desperation in the third stanza, itching to let our emotions out and having our thoughts freely flow whether they can be understand or not. I also liked the quirkiness of these lines, never would have thought about it like that. "Would it be a little funny to be seen carrying our means of expression under our arms, as we do notebooks?" Indeed we do carry our books with words in them, how else could we possibly express ourselves? What if we always did that?

Such a strong connection to the quote, yet the author deliberately asked questions of her own that made me stop where I was, especially with the ending lines:

"Why do you think your words are meaningless?
for they are you, and you mean everything in this world."
- Inspiring words right here, with that notion that everything we do has meaning because our soul has a purpose.

Refreshing piece! (10)
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HM COMMENTS:

Wishing Well
by Hannah Lizette

"The imagery here is what really gets me. Hannah Lizette seemingly took a view from her backyard and created a small masterpiece. I really feel like the last half of her poem (after the --'s) is what made this so strong for me. Very creative, very country, very emotional. I feel almost like I'm watching a country music video, thats how specific the images were for me, and it took me to a serene place where a woman in pain is missing something, longing for someone/thing and putting all her hopes into this wishing well. She's a dreamer, for sure. This is really an amazing piece of art!" (10)
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If I Stay
by The Queen

This is truly a beautiful piece of writing, and it was a refreshing read because it was unlike anything I have read before. The imagery and emotion dictated throughout this is really astounding and I can't help but feel the pain behind the words. This is written in such an elegant way throughout and I thoroughly enjoyed it. (10)
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The Aquarium of Deep Sea
by Real Meaning

"The Aquarium of Deep Sea" is a poem that has a lot going on, content wise. Though I have to say that I'm puzzled by a meaningless thing that is not even worth the mention, but I'm just going to ask for the sheer purpose of asking ... Is that an O at the start of the poem or is it a zero/ 0?

With that being out of my system I have to say the poem is complex, but I feel the last stanza ties the content together as well as it brings a new thought to the reader.

This is how I interpreted the whole poem (perhaps not what it was intended but here it goes)

In the first stanza, it seems the narrator is outside the aquarium. Now to me the outside part of the aquarium is some metaphor I supposed for the world; the life surrounding the narrator? When he mentions "I'm only alive inside an aquarium of deep sea" I believe the deep sea symbolizes "thoughts," "intellect," or "anything that isn't related to the aquarium physically" but "mentally.

This line " Belly of ocean is my pillow, is my bed," I feel is important to remember because in the last stanza the Ocean is mentioned as " May be I am another fish chubby and yummy in ocean of my own tummy."

So it seems the narrator sleeps in the stomach of the ocean since the belly of Ocean is his bed . . .

Overall, what I gathered is that the narrator figured out that perhaps he is also inside that aquarium and not outside, that he is also a fish with a colorful head and that he is vulnerable to predators for being chubby and yummy like any other. There is more interpretations that I came up with based on the poem but this is the easiest one for me to explain. I seriously enjoyed reading this poem aloud. Excellent (10)

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Le Soleil, La Lune
by Antithesis

I read passion when I read this poem. Also it's funny how I after I finished reading, I had to close my eyes to imagine what I read, and at some point I felt like I needed someone to read the poem aloud while I did what the poem narrated.. I felt like I had to closed my eyes to picture the pictures behind my eyelids. That's the effect this poem had on me. I pictured someone passionate about painting and this someone painting this girl writing, but the soft voice that I feel when I read the poem captivates me and the elegance that I find in the words as well as the arrangement of the poem plus the title, they all add to show how well crafted this poem is. Well done. (4)
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Le Soliel, La Lune
by Antithesis

"Another poem so stacked with imagery that it takes your breath away. I don't know whats happening on PnQ but it seems we have a slight revival. I love the rhyme scheme, even though it doesn't feel specific, it's obviously thought out and well placed. The internal rhyme is what I like the best.. I feel that can be hard to truly achieve but this author made it feel effortless. The repetition.. everything. It's so specifically placed.. so well thought out. For the actual message of the poem, how beautiful. I have a hard time even commenting on it because there isn't much more that can be said. There's no room for interpretation to me. It's all so vivid, striking, emotional. Beautiful. I really adore this poem." (4)
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Vinyl and Lace
by Hannah Lizette

This is simply gorgeous and from this entry alone I can see why Hannah won the contest overall. There's few words that can do justice to this marvellous poem as it is truly a thing of beauty. "and teases the strings of his eager heart," Adore this, creates such a romantic feel to the poem. Gorgeous. (4)

Thank you to the judge that commented and voted, means a lot

Congrats to all the wins and the HM's

and thanks judges and Chelsey xx

Congrats winners & HM's! :)

Thanks so much judges for my two wonderful comments. <3

Congratulation to winners. I enjoyed reading them.

dear judge "because you asked": I corrected the O.
and talking about numbers, it is figure "8" which was good because you were in the neighborhood!!

Thanks for the HMs guys! Congrats to everyone this week!

" The internal rhyme is what I like the best.. I feel that can be hard to truly achieve but this author made it feel effortless."

I think my ability to form internal rhyme is one of my best skills! Thanks a lot for pointing that out. You've solidified my pride. :D

Thank you Guys!

that was unexpected, congratulations to everyone.

Congrats winners & HM's!!! Superb job guys!

Congrats Winners and HMs:)