Contest Winners- July 8, 2013

Hello Lovelies.....This week was obviously a busy one because only 3 out of 5 judges were able to vote which is while you'll see less than normal :)

2 clear winners and the site broke the tie between the 10's!

Congrats to all those highlighted this week!

Postcard (10)
by: Melpomene

The First Smile
by: Sincuna - 7 + 4 = (11)

Mrs. Lowe has two pianos
by: Larry Chamberlin the Godfather - 7 +4 = (11)

HM's

Poetry
by Timothy (10)
Smoke
by Noura (10)

Leftovers
by Hannah Lizette (7)

On The Mountain
by slighte (4)

WINNER COMMENTS:

Postcard by: Melpomene (10)

There is such tangible pain expressed in this poem and the very vulnerable opening image of living in poverty and feeling broken just reaches out to me. I love how you described almost feeling betrayed by the city, no longer free but crowded in this apartment and unable to truly have happiness at your fingertips. I envision this woman struggling to regain her strength yet everything in her surrounding weighs her down.....the ending was extremely depressing. These lines hit me emotionally: "I realize my childhood's recollection of intimacy/and realize he was never loved so/he couldn't love us right." I immediately thought of the father. I know fathers are those models for girls and if they don't have that loving relationship and be that support, a girl can be lost when she is growing up.

Also, that last line mentioning God was like a silent plea. So much emotion and hopelessness. Like your cry to God is in vain because you know he wouldn't want to fix a broken soul. But he is everywhere, we don't have to be perfect to have him near and I think that's hard to realize. Such a deep journey through this woman's most inner thoughts.
Incredibly moving! My heart aches reading each stanza.

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The First Smile
by Sincuna

Such an artistic piece, it's like looking beyond what we usually think about, the first kiss, first date, first "I love you". The opening was honest I felt, like opening up to the first chapter of a book and being told by the author straight out that this is not your typical love story. It's not the sensual kiss or anything. It's what reality may call not quite special yet it's still searched for with people who want to look deeper. A smile can easily be taken for granted. Yet one smile is powerful and can hold curiosity as well as interest for something more. I enjoyed the idea of the whole two strangers seeing each other on a train! I believe in fate and this meet is definitely deep, it is not just a glance shared, it provokes remembrance and is that little bit of a dream left unfinished and untouched.

"You have loved more than once,
and you've been hurt, suffered, probably a couple more times.
So that smile, that same first smile, if it could speak, would ask
to be hidden inside the shadow of your rough stained lips."

- Such a perspective here you bring out.... that in a way the smile prefers to be underrated because someday it forms who we are. Very intriguing, still thinking about these lines!

Beautiful verse, flowed straight from the soul and I love the way in which you write so your voice has that grace and meaning! (7)
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The First Smile
by Sincuna

What I liked about this poem is the short journey undertaken by the narrator and how the narrator analyze that the majority talk about the first kiss but not about the first smile that made them fall in "love"/ being attracted for the first time. Is it because the first smile is hard to remember just because they actually didn't had the courage to speak to each other? Or because along the years that smile gets erased by suffering and getting hurt? or because that smile is better to just keep in our memories as a secret that no one but only ourselves should remember? or because that smile is actually less valuable than the first kiss? Or I can go on... but I think those who have actually love once can remember that first smile from their love one and I bet that they talk about it more than the first kiss because that one smile was what made them fall in love, and that love made them take the courage to speak to each other, or does that only happen in movies? . . .

Thought-provoking, I like the vivid images and the awkwardness that I pictured coming from those two strangers and also the romantic scenario. I think first smile is something to remember actually whether first or second or third one, a smile is a smile and they don't hurt anyone only those who wish to see us unhappy. But I like and enjoy your thought and overall the poem. Well done (4)
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Mrs. Lowe has two pianos
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

What more can I say about this piece than the sincere love of the couple that is painted throughout your words... you warmed my heart and put a smile on my face in showing this very spirited woman who teaches piano to neighborhood children, maybe not "professionally", but teaching them the basics, the traditional songs we can all sing together. Felt such peace in this poem, especially with the relationship of the man and woman and how he notices the little things that interest his wife. He cares. And he doesn't just see she loves that baby grand, he works toward it for her. What a legacy of love he left behind and I know she carries it on each time she touches the keys. This is her passion and in that music I feel so much is expressed, and it's sent straight toward Heaven.

So touching! I loved how your skilled hand still kept flow and rhythm in this storytelling. What a story of these two lives uniting and the true definition of a beautiful romance! (4)
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Mrs. Lowe has two pianos
by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather

There are those poems that tell and there are those others that show and "Mrs. Lowe has two pianos" is a great example of those type of poems that stream an image instead of just telling an idea. I like the approached that Larry Chamberlin took. I also think that just showing, it's a risky move but in this case it was worth the shot. Often times, we as the reader may want to read how the narrator is feeling about the story he/she just narrated, but in this case I find it fascinating how Mrs. Lowe is depicted that I just grew attach to the character and came up with my own feelings. I immediately pictured a woman who is passionate about her job? or hobby? I'm unsure about that part, but either or this woman taught many children how to play the piano and still continues to do so. It is her perseverance and motivation that I find so inspiring and even more that she continues playing the other piano to her husband. Now a days he may be just a picture in that piano he bought for her, but there's more to it than just the melody she plays for him. And that's where this thought hit me, that people often say that materials things come to a second plane and I agree, but there are times when material things keeps us closer or at least make us believe we are closer to those who by destinies reason are no longer with us and it is because of that that people start cherishing a material object the most, for the emotional value it holds just as Mrs. Lowe. She doesn't let her students used that piano but only her. This poem is moving and there are undoubtedly different ways of how to feel/react to it. Great write. (7)

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HM COMMENTS:

Poetry by Timothy

This poem is one of the type that leaves me wondering how author's mind work. I have no idea, but this peculiar write caught my attention. I had to read it several times to catch a glimpse of the scene that Timothy's words paints for us. It's interesting to visualize the quarrel between the teacher and the student. There was a part that I found somehow "humorous" like "we quarreled, brawled, met on the field of literary warfare and greyhound-beat the gutless words out of each other's tongues," I have one word for that sentence - intense. The tone of the poem enhanced the image and this piece took me straight to that scene. Then for a moment, I felt shock "Balderdash," really? How could the student say that? I didn't see this write or rather the discussion between the teacher and the student as a nonsensical talk or perhaps after analyzing it for a bit, it might have been, I mean everyone shares different opinions about topics so its pointless to discuss their point of view with someone who apparently won't change his/her mind, or at least someone who doesn't seem to want to consider any one else's opinions. However, even after I was shocked I liked that the student realized it was nonsensical to continue the discussion and that it was time to reach a conclusion. I also enjoyed the narration and that this poem has the opinion from the student and the teacher and how this argument came to life. That's was neat.
Excellent poem. (10)
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Smoke
by Noura

Noura has done it again! Explosive and powerful piece in regards to a war torn country, aching with emotions. I am in awe of her pen! She has crafted a visionary masterpiece!
The metaphor of smoke, cigarettes, and emotions of sorrow echo throughout this piece.

It's small and power packed. Her ending is impeccable! Truly a powerful piece!

"I'm watching
you watching the news, and I'm safe,
dusting time off my heart."

^^^ this stanza here is very significant to this piece in my opinion, it creates a sense of peace, and yet the ending has such a closing statement-

"Put out your cigarette,
turn off the lights.
Everything will end
tomorrow.

Welcoming of yet another day of sorrow... just a mind blowing and tear jerking poem! Well done Noura!! (10)

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Leftovers
by Hannah Lizette

This piece by Hannah touched me on a literary level and personal level, so therefore I had to highlight it.

The metaphor of leftovers, takes the power of a broken heart, loneliness and sorrow to another level, awesome metaphor used here!!

On a personal I was left crying... I don't think anyone reading this poem, hasn't felt the emotions that Hannah crafted within this piece, and I was in tears by poems end.

"I've eaten nothing but
cold soup from the can
because what's the point of
dirtying another dish if
you aren't there to splash
warm dish water upon my
apron and rub soap bubbles
on my nose? "

BEAUTIFUL STANZA!!!

I truly cried here! Its one of those poems, where you feel many emotions all in one piece and just within this stanza as well!

Hannah has me speechless!! well done! (7)

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On The Mountain
by slighte

Slighte has won me over with the stars!

She has penned a piece that made me feel sorrow, emptiness, loneliness and yet hope.

Dazzling lines and formatting made me read this poem many times. I do love the emotions I felt within every line.

"The stars don't sing for me anymore,
but sometimes on the mountain,
I dance slowly for them anyway.

(And sometimes, on the mountain,
I feel myself burn that bright.)"

^^^^^^^^^^^

Emptiness, and yet hope... within the parentheses, that I couldn't help but drop my jaw at... Wonderful poem here!! (4)

Congrats to the winners and HM's...
and of course thanks to the judges, and Chelsey

x

Thanks for the Win & the detailed comments!
It took me forever to decide to post that poem, as I wrote it almost a year ago. It almost seemed too invasive of her privacy.
Congrats to the other winners and HMs.
Thanks judges & Chelsey.

Beautiful poems, congratulations to winners & HM's!
Thanks Chelsey & judges...

(wait Larry, Mrs. Lowe is real? Wow, I thought it was two characters you created and told their story... It's so beautiful and I'm glad you did decide to post it!)

Congrats winners & HM's!

Thanks judge for my HM, means so much. <3

Thank you for the lovely comment, judge! Congrats to the other two front page winners.

Appreciate the gesture guys and congrats to the others. Big thanks to the judges for doing what they do.