Contest Winners- August 20, 2013

Hello guys! You will only see 4 judge scores and comments as one was absent this weekend..

We have 3 clear winners this week! Congrats to all!

WINNERS:

My Kingdom
by Dagmar Wilson (10)

We'll Come Back In a Few
by Adonis- 10 + 10 = 20

Problem Child
by The Huntress - 10 + 4 = 14

HM's :

She, who broke me
by Piogga ( 7)

Drifting Hearts
by Baby Rainbow( 7)

Naive Poem
by Vince Gullaci (7)

Love, in Celebrity and Excess
by Silvershoes (7)

You can't write a poem about morning farts (Villanelle)
by Abracadabra (4)

And This is My Name!!
by Real Meaning (4)

Now
by Chelsey (4)

WINNER COMMENTS:

We'll Come Back In a Few
by Adonis (10 )

There is an ominous mood all over this piece. An unresolved circle of ominousness that generations after generations have to endure :
"I turn off the TV and smile at him.
That same inscrutable smile
my father used
to bribe me with."
The writer has to continue the tradition of bribery for the reason of hiding the ominous truth, because the RETURN wouldn't happen in a few; it never does! The same way that it did not happen in different yet the same ominous circumstances of generations before.
We are living in the world with harsh truths of wars, killing of populations, where people run away in hurry, naked or in pajamas, where children leave their toys behind, deserted. Where families leave their small nests, the country that they built with their own hands, behind.
No matter how hard is to leave everything abaft, even though it is unimaginable to put all the attachments behind, they have to, there is no choice because they do not wish someone trip over their heads:
"like the woman's head
I tripped over.
I tripped over.
The woman's head
I
tripped
over..."

Something so traumatizing and unbelievable that makes a nation leave undressed, un-toyed, traumatized. Something that make them to learn the reason behind the incurable smile in such ominously incurable surroundings (10 )
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We'll Come Back In A Few
by Adonis (10)

From this week's pickings, I saw the most potential in this poem. Although some parts were a little laboured, the style still showed an instinct for storytelling and smart manipulation of mood in a poem. I liked the first line and I liked the dark tension that swelled through the piece afterward.
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Problem Child
by The Huntress ( 4)

She is calling him a problem child who blames the world for what happened in past. A brother who left his karma on the sister's back of the sister who somehow absorbed all his karma s. The karmas that do not belong to her, karmas that belong to him, the problem chilled! The one that she: " couldn't call ... a man,
let alone a brother."
But the black holes connect them together. All his life he sees himself in those holes. He tries to patch them to seal them to chock them with gifts of birthdays and so on :
"with birthday presents and Christmas treasures;
like hot, senseless candle wax sealing
the last letters of a history."
He is somehow astonished by the world's bitter gaze fixating on him constantly, trough those black holes on the sister's black; the holes that he is so desperately trying to patch, to coy their gaze away perhaps.
And this is the panicle of the poem :
"Blame the marriage of antipoles,
by far as romantic as the earth's
unrequited love to the moon."
The unreturned love of the parents, the bullet holes that are born by birth and could be silenced by no gold, that he could never patch them or stop them bleeding. (4 )
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Problem Child
by The Huntress (10)

This poem contains so much passion and power! I can feel the anger and devastation in it. It's written so well also. The word choice is excellent and helps paint the regular scenes that we see with children who misbehave. The difference is that this child is one who does these intentionally, which makes him a problem child. Also, as the poet goes further on in the poem it becomes clear that this may not be a child anymore, but rather acts like one blaming misbehavior's on other occurrences. This line "Your fate gave birth to another problem child" shows that this person probably enjoys being "evil" and intends to teach it to his children. The last stanza shows the relationship between the poet and the person, which explains the anger, because the poet has been hurt by this person.
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My Kingdom
by Dagmar Wilson (10)

This is ,to me what poetry is all about ,inspiration skillfully delivered fro the heart souls and mind

HM COMMENTS:

She, who broke me
by Piogga ( 7)

I like how casually the writer uses her powerful imagination to connect with the visual aspect of elements.
The moth are sown to her dress, swollen, smudged, like lipstick in the summer heat.
She dose not need to be understood in order to understand; this by itself is enlightenment, regardless to the subject of this poem.
She is perhaps getting a tattoo on her back; the queer similes of images from the tattoo shop imprinted in her mind makes her to assume different gestalts of pictures, with different assembling and configuration to the reality. She discovers another composition of colours and shapes, a more imaginative one. (7 )
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Drifting Hearts
by Baby Rainbow( 7)

I had no problem at all picking up the rhyme and reason of this masterpiece with flawless rhythm that painted a picture in my heart of a very important message so well delivered
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Naive Poem
by Vince Gullaci (7)

Same comment as last week: I have followed this poet's style for several years and am glad to see him writing again. This poem is a typical example of his style... some people like to mix their spirits while this guy takes the shot glass. This poem isn't even as punchy as some of his others, but it still shows a natural understanding of projecting a particular tone in writing and an enormous respect for the selection and placement of words in poetry. Though it uses a pretty pat metaphor, its concentration and crystallisation of a singular image and thought is delivered beautifully, and is much more technical than it seems.
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Love, in Celebrity and Excess
by Silvershoes (7)

This poem fits it's tittle perfectly! I could feel how fame could take over a person, the stress after success and the abuse of power, how fame is at times repulsive and disgusting yet people strive for it with greed and are never satisfied. I like the language of the poem which is different because it is written in the language of people living in that kind of environment. The metaphors, words and similes are all part of that language. The love connection here is not with a lover but rather with fame which can bring a person to the top only to bring them down again. This reminds me of an Indian movie I've seen about a model who goes with the same transition.
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You can't write a poem about morning farts (Villanelle)
by Abracadabra (4)

As with the week before we have another unusual poem here, and this time with a new rhyming scheme. It was funny, proved the tittle wrong, which I think was a challenge between this person and another who is disgusted with the theme. The tittle brings that tension into a poem, like a couple arguing about respect in the light of these everyday bodily reactions. We can feel sarcasm in the poem and I can sense how annoying it is to have to deal with a person like this.
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And This is My Name!!
by Real Meaning (4)

This writer writes with no guile and full intent. As a result of his 100% genuineness, his technique is sometimes a little lacking. This piece is one such example. There is an excess of exclamation marks and repetition and dramatics that causes a conflict in its appreciation - it is at once exhausting, endearing and powerful. I can imagine it being blared over speakers on some busy city street. Yet there is never any mistaking his unabashed passion for the delivery of his message that reaches for the furthest heights of poetry.
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Now
by Chelsey (4)

I feel the topic was so unique I could not let this go unrecognized even though the beauty of frank emptiness often does in this community of talent

"We can feel sarcasm in the poem and I can sense how annoying it is to have to deal with a person like this. "

Hahaha WOW!

Congrats winners and other noms!

Ooopssss. I just realized today in the 19th, not the 20th!

Congrats winners & HM's!!! Thanks to Chels and the judges.... really interesting to read through these comments

Congrats on the win and the Hm's.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone still sees zero comments on the winner's poems?

I mean I see 0 but I made one short comment, it only shows when I click on it to see it.

EDIT: I refreshed now it I see them.

Smooth sailing, crew.

Congrats to the Winners, PMs, & thanks to the judges, Chelsey & Colm, who Contest Modded this week.

And thanks to Abby who has inspired me to unleash unbridled influence on the world.

Abby your poem is pure genius... pity nobody else saw that....

Haha Except Nicko, his muscles are too big for that

by the way how am I doing in intonation department??

Haha Larry, then my work is done. And Nicko, surely genius is too much? No, no, I'll take it.

Can't say I'm not a little shitty that my poem didn't win but I won't kick up a stink about it. I respect the poems the judges did let rip and thank the lone judge who thought my poem was worth at least a bubble in the bathtub.

Yours flatulently.

By the way, I am gratified by the fact there is still a fart poem on the front page of your poetry site. Toot toooooot!

Thank you for the prize. I'm deeply grateful to those 2 comments, wow. Congratulations fellow winners and other mentions.

Congratulations to all the Winners & HMs:)

Thank you Judges & Chelsey for your efforts!!:))

"By the way, I am gratified by the fact there is still a fart poem on the front page of your poetry site."

haha Abby I am glad you brought the subject up
for everybody, young and old: judge, front page and write or versify, as far (fart) as the scopes of their concerns, as they bubble the bathtubs of their worries, in this world.

By the way judges thanks for my little bubbly too

Congratulations Winners & HMs, some great reads!