Contest Winners- September 9, 2013

Hey PnQers, sorry about the delay!

We had a judge out this week. We also have a mistake on the front page and I'm really quite flustered about it. It was my turn to watch the weekly contest and when I went to bed everything seemed in order, we had a tie and I expected the site to break it but instead a complete different poem went up. Apologies to The Huntress who was wrongly placed on the front page and Robin A Walter & Kristina who had poems tied on 10. I'm sorry this has happened and I take full responsibility.

Earth Bound
by Robert 10+7 = 17

In the Cradle of Jazz
by ddavidd 10 + 7 = 17

Soldier In The Mud
by Robin A Walter (10)

World of Kings (10)
by Kristina

HM's :

Why do we photograph?
by The Huntress (7)

Overwhelming
by Satish Verma (7)

Dreaming of a Girl
by Love Fallacy (4)

Love Tune (4)
by Love Fallacy

Sun Shower
by Biancas Veil (4)

The Beckoning
by Vince Gullaci (4)

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WINNERS:
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In the Cradle of Jazz
by ddavidd (10)

I think this poem would have been flawless if left alone with its first stanza. Wow. It made me tingle all over with the feeling of the discovery, the glimpse, the hint at a Truth... wonderfully abstract, yet totally and strangely accurate. I love jazz... in its essence, it is about living in the very moment, about total improvisation, feeling a feeling and seeing where it takes you. It can be playful and teasing, it can be powerful and challenging... and it always takes guts. This writer has guts. The rest of the poem was like a jazz dialogue. It had some lines that dazzled and some that fizzled. It had some rhymes that worked seamlessly and others that were totally forced. But the true spirit of jazz was behind it all.

Profound, mystical, fantastical, free. This poem was on drugs, man. A great jam session.

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In the Cradle of Jazz
by ddavidd (7)

Jazz and rhyme are an acquired taste and this healthy write went down rather well with a beat that made it very pleasurable to me

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Earth Bound
by Robert (10)

I love this poem! The imagery is perfect for the intended message, it flows nicely and each scene transitions smoothly to the next. I like how it starts backwards, with the thought and then the trigger of that thought, like it happens in real life when we drift with our imagination, instead of how it is regularly done, starting by the trigger then the thoughts. The poem is about life, yet starts with a melancholy tone, but the writer soon gets to the positive part, which comes as a surprise.

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Earth Bound
by Robert (7)

The heart and night mingle in this poem in an troublesome darkness: "Troubled by the word's that have been spoken" Everything start to fall apart break like a glass to the jagged pieces with sharp edges that hurt and pierce into one's feelings. Exactly like the world of objects, the world that surrounds us. They all are the shattered glass of our dream, perhaps. But the poet looks into the vastness of the sea he even in his own sadness yearns to see the world un-shattered, still intact, the world of dream not the world of sharp and jugged objects. He replaces the world, the jagged world with his own dream that mends the broken pieces together in sorrows. In that state of baffleness the poet finds the reason for his own survival, a spark of life that even though it makes him jealous, it also shows him the way to autonomy and liberation. A "caterpillar" that even though is wiggling like the poets feelings but it is care free, because there is the means of freedom in it, because it evolves and it will fly one day.

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Soldier In The Mud
by Robin A Walter (10)

soldier running through the rice patty of a muddy , sticky battlefield complaining why should I be trapped in this; something must be wrong that drenched me in this funnel of muddiness, this trenches we build with our own hands. There is a war going on for sure: "mud , rice patty , the stink of carnage, keeping the head down, the mortars," everything is still sticky like the rice patty of this wetland this quagmire that we struggle so hard to survive, to come out. Our life is always on the line: the war is going on and on, no matter were I am, I am in war, in the middle of a battlefield but this time it is extra crispy, it is worst. But why shouldn't it be? it is the war after all. The massage is: all the muddiness and stickiness, all the mortars that explode in these trenches of life are to make us to keep our head down for another day of survival. We want to leave. This is not our war. We are not heroes and even if we were, this is not our cause. We put our head down we hunch our back we crawl, we wriggle to survive like worms from this mud, in this mud because if we flaunt our head we are dead. (10)

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World of Kings
by Kristina (10)

This one had a free flow I could feel but find it hard to put into words . Writing has become more about winning and losing to me. I also relate to this poem because of the expectations put on a poet . Strangely feel a sense of pride also defending the Kings in this battle

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HM'S:

Overwhelming
by Satish Verma (7)

I am voting for this poem because I kept returning to it and I wanted to know the writer. I love finding new brains to explore through poetry. This poem showed an impressive handling of words - of selecting them and stringing them in long and short sentences for effortless impact. The content was intriguing, and I'm not going to pretend to understand it or offer my interpretations. It is clear the poem has an obvious sheen of quality to it, a naturally intelligent style. This writer has the ability to connect the big things to the little things, the material to the spiritual. Beautiful writing. (7)

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Sun Shower by Biancas Veil

I wasn't sure what it was about this poem that made it so endearing to me. It was child-like, and its middle lines were almost clumsy and cliche. Yet it projected a clean, white image that was very real. There was no context, no dragging details, nothing too prescriptive that would have marred its beauty. It was clear and evocative, and classically so. Its first and last lines were, indeed 'pure bliss'. It warmed my heart.

Why do we photograph?
by The Huntress (7)

I love how this poem is pieced together, how it flows to connect from one line to another, like a growing chain of thought, yet it doesn't lose it's inner music. The repetition is also nice here and doesn't dull the poem up like in some cases. It also adds up to the poems meaning and how it seems like a chain of thought. It could be looked at in three different point of views the way I see it, which triggers a different reaction from different readers. It could be the poet talking to herself, to others to empower their self image, or to those who take self photos to gain approval. This way of writing helps different people interact with the poem and relate to it. I also like the poem because it has a gloomy feel to it, however it is interpreted, which it is intended to do as it is a sad poem.

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Sun Shower
by Biancas Veil (4)

I wasn't sure what it was about this poem that made it so endearing to me. It was child-like, and its middle lines were almost clumsy and cliche. Yet it projected a clean, white image that was very real. There was no context, no dragging details, nothing too prescriptive that would have marred its beauty. It was clear and evocative, and classically so. Its first and last lines were, indeed 'pure bliss'. It warmed my heart.

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The Beckoning
by Vince Gullaci (4)

As simple as it is this poem is beautiful and paints a magical scene. It shows how one simple thing can change a persons mood and invite them to change views or become a better person. It is a call to look for the simple things in life that bring us joy and help us reflect upon the world. I enjoyed reading it, and I could read it over and over and get the same feeling from it... It made me smile.

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Dreaming of a Girl
by Love Fallacy (4)

This is such a lament that we all are familiar with, that we all experienced it, we all know how it hurts but we can still listen to it because it would never get boring: "Dreams are never meant to be I'll search the world and the deep blue sea I'd swear I find the girl for me Oh, oh it's true" but the poet baffles us with his technics and power of imagination when he walks around the town that he calls "lonely" but only because the only lonely in it, is he himself. There are no other souls in the crowd of these people. Nobody but his own shadow : "My shadow's only one around" and incessant mood of melancholy. The tune in this poem is song like; it is very long but it holds together. He, stanza after stanza, wave after wave is going though detail of his share of heart breaks in the life, sadly, pleasantly and poetically.
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Love Tune
by Love Fallacy (4)

The repetition in this poem was well placed like a lovely tune composed of lyrical passion

Well...I'm actually surprised by the judges comments...not what I expected. I really don't have a problem with The Huntress's poem being there...although...according to the tally it shouldn't be and yet...this author always delivers the goods and keeps her audience spellbound.

My worry is...and two judges voted for this poem...is Earth Bound...now, I'm not saying this poem is bad in anyway but...at the moment the presentation is not front page material and...I have to wonder why two judges voted on it...as is? Every line is capitalised which is not necessary...you do not use a capital unless the previous word has a period after it...unless you want to highlight the word for some reason and...there's too many of them here for that theory to work. Also, how many apostrophes are used that shouldn't be there? night's, word's shatter's..just to name a few.

No...the presentation of this poem needs a lot of work and should not be on the front page of P&Q this week IMO...

Edit..

OK...I might as well go for the whole works here...I can't find the poem by Kristina that should have won...but I have found the other by Robin Walters....em here is part of his bio...

Professional writer, author, war
poet, publisher and executive
editor, engineer and retired
military specialist

his poem...well...it's ok but...for a professional writer and author it lacks a lot...sorry but...true! Should not have won...

Here is a link to Kristina poem if anyone is interested.

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/misc/poems.php?id=1225891

Congratulations to everyone

Hellon,

There are some people who are taught to capitalized every starting line in their poems whether its supposed to or not. But sometimes is a preference.

as far as the apostrophes, easy fix. The author can just edit the poem and remove them. :)

Thanks Red for the link...just couldn't find it myself. Well...might as well go for the full monty here...this is not a poem...more of a quote IMO...it's quite rough and needs smoothing out in order for it to be considered as a poem. Yes, some will argue that other poems of this length have won in the past but...the flow has been spot on...this one is too jaggy?

Luce...whoever is teaching these people to capitalize every line is wrong. You do not start every line with a capital letter unless there is a period behind it. Everything is an easy fix?...capital letters, apostrophes etc?...but, it should have been sorted between the member who nominated it and the judge/judges who voted for it before it reached the front page...that is my whole point...I'm not having a go at the author here...but...I guess they should also have known better.

^^ We have had these conversations before and perhaps I will take the the blame actually...Why? Well, when we get new judges I send out a PM to each of them, nice long explaination of how to use their voting buttons, how to set up their comments, who to send it to .....but I do not think to tell them what to look for when judging. To me it comes naturally, Ive been doing this for 10 years and it slips my mind that other people are new to writing and judging and may over look tiny errors like that.

I could send out another PM .

However, a win is a win and I always feel bad when peoples poems are told they shouldnt be on the front page...so congrats to all this week!

Hellon,

Who says is wrong? I understand grammar and punctuation are important, but the capitalization in each line in a Poem is not wrong. Many poets are accustom to use the capitalization. It's a preference. Plus many have their reasons to do that.

Take a look at this link:

http://www.public.asu.edu/~aarios/resourcebank/capitalizing/

I understand the reason why you are bringing this up, but I don't fully agree with everything you highlighted above. The apostrophes Okay, I agree on that one. The capitalization, its a preference so I disagree with it being wrong.

About Robin who wrote "solider in the Mud," it doesn't matter whether he is or not a professional. The poem spoke to the judge and to the nominator who was me. It also doesn't have any grammar problems. Why is it not worth a 10? Can you tell me what does it lack?...

On another question, did you read all of the poems that were nominated? ( I read about 75 percent of the list)

( of course if there is no problem with anyone else as we are writing in the Weekly contest Thread)

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On Another comment: Congrats to the winners and thank you judges for the comments.
Also thank you to the other judge who wrote a new comment from last week contest thread.

And Chelsey and Mods as well, thanks.

I am thankful you guys. and happy for the others!!

Luce...I thank you for providing this link and after reading it and doing some further research myself I can only concede that I was in the wrong here and offer my apology. I now know that, although it's considered as an old fashion trend to start each sentence of a poem with a capital letter, it was done quite freely in the past. The difference I see is that these old style poems also had a good amount of periods throughout the verses...this one has none at all and I just don't know where to pause or, if I should be pausing anywhere in the poem. However...like I said, I was wrong and I now stand corrected.

On a side note...when I did this research, the poets who chose to use this method and the ones who chose not to were all males so...
was it an ego trip for the ones who chose to do so...today (modern society) we would call it small penis syndrome I believe? I'm pretty sure you will come up with a few female poems for me though?

^^^

Please note...there is no personal slight intended to Robert...I'm just trying to discuss how poetry has evolved throughout the years and...possibly why I was never taught in school that it's ok to start every line with a capital letter in poetry.

About your other question...I do read all the poems that get nominated if I'm around..some I don't quite finish as they don't hold my attention but...most of them do and...I thought there were more worthy winners in the pile to be quite honest this week.

I wander why no one even acknowledges her/his win nowadays!!

"I now know that, although it's considered as an old fashion trend to start each sentence of a poem with a capital letter, it was done quite freely in the past"

PSST COLM. This is a good idea for your poetic debate! :)