Suicidal ideation

It seems lately that I cannot seem to fight these horrible thoughts and I am unsure what to do or cope. I can't get anywhere anymore and it seems to trigger a lot of people.

Hey, I know you may disregard this or not pay attention to it because a lot of people say it, but I've come to realize it's true- that you are not alone. Even if you don't know somebody who is going through what you are, there is someone. And someone who cares. Remember: we're only human.

I don't think anyone can say for certain when or how things will get better. Don't feel like you're being a burden to someone. I hope this goes away but don't feel like you're in the wrong if you can't always be positive or upbeat yet. Take each day at a time if you can. Find something that makes you feel peaceful. Even if you don't know your own purpose yet in life or haven't figured out that "spark" to life, try not to worry too much. I think you're being very hard on yourself..... I know we don't know each other, just have seen you a few times on the boards, but I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't think or believe it's the end though. Talk it out with someone you trust, maybe that will help? Because any type of depression or dark thoughts are serious and need care.

I will always have my up and down moods because I always have. I am rarely happy or filled with joy and I know that needs to change. Its difficult though for me to live one day at a time but I love it. Its hard beca my life is so crazy. I have known nothing but negative but I just want my life back. But Iwill take it slow.

Right, all you can do is try, that takes courage and will.... and I believe you may just thank yourself for that later on, as well as being something to be proud of that you overcame.

It does seem like a constant struggle especially since there doesn't seem to be that permanent fixture of happiness/joy... things are fleeting but yes, I would recommend until that time when you can truly and fully be happy, find little things that get you through the day. Nothing will be negative forever, I don't think the world or a person's life could evolve from that. Just know there will be growth of something better..... My thoughts go out to you.

Thank you for the kind words. It is a struggle everyday and I will try to do the little things. All I can do is try. It might kill me but in the end everyone dies anyway. Thank you for the support

One cannot be saved if he/she does not want to be saved. Teenagers go through such phases. The neural path ways change, rearrange. Hormones play their part.

Like POTP said - there is no fixture for happiness/joy. Likewise there is no fixture for woe either. Humans often seek happiness in entities. Expectations lead to disappointments. There is no hand of fate distributing pain or pleasure. Happiness is not an outside abstract to be attained. But such is the prevalent mentality. Happiness/woe is a state of mind. One cannot be hurt without his consent.

Evolution in terms of being more than just a human, must start with satisfaction in what one has. Going by the most obvious fire starter. Love. Jumping from relationship to relationship is futility. Love is not something to seek. It is a state of being. As far as "love" goes, the way society functions, seems to be mere fascination and infatuation. One moment an individual is your whole world and the next, cruel, for not bringing flowers or not watching the same sports channels, or not opening the car door. Humans conjure to quench their desires with the fantasy of cars, mansions, etc etc etc. All is but temporary. What today is, will tomorrow grow stagnant in it's beauty. A new object of desire will appear, attract attention. It never really ends.

There is nothing new to seek. No pain is too unique. Should each individual be unique, then mathematically all individuals are average. Pragmatic sensibility must be implemented where the need be.

Such is life. A roller coaster. Of day and night, pain and joy. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. There is no need to bother with suicide. If the good days don't prevail, then even the bad one's wont. Every human at some point in life feels lost. It'd be advisable to cultivate patience and maturity enough to observe and analyse life in it's multitude of facades. One has to learn to mold himself/herself as per the circumstances. Most of the population is the equivalent of sheep. Never knowing if they are being lead towards the green pastures or the slaughter house. You live like others, you suffer the same consequences. Merely having a Facebook account, or a fancy car, wearing torn jeans or shorts the size of undergarments, having a costly phone, does not constitute being modern. Modernization or becoming modern is to match the pace of evolution of the society while having intact the root principles of one's characters. Should you have to live in a castle like a king, you should be fit to live as such, the life of sheer luxury. And should you have to live in a hut, a life of sheer poverty. Then you should be ready for that too. For your happiness does not depend upon external factors. You sir, ought to be eternally happy and peaceful, regardless of how the realms outside of one's self function. Alternatively, one can try to immerse themselves in a task that makes them lose the awareness of the environment, and experience bliss in doing what they love. There seems to be no other possible solution to make sense of life, while trying to retain sanity. In the long run yes, all attempts are in futility. All is in transition towards decay. But we literally have zero knowledge of the afterlife, if there is one. The journey might continue, else we would just be obsolete. It's a game of chance.

Two meals a day, two pairs of clothes, a roof over our heads - important. All else - triviality.

Might come back to edit.