A conversation on life

I just felt like getting some peoples opinions on life and share a little bit with you all about what Ive been going through the last few months.

We found out in August my dad has stage 4 cancer (downer, I know).. and he has undergone three treatments of chemo. When you have a close relative who is dieing, you start to really think about life and appreciate it.

Upon his first treatment, I was so nervous to go into the cancer center and look at all the people getting the same treatment, so i avoided looking around, just watched my feet as I walked. I get nervous in situations like hospital visits.

Then, the second time...after a few weeks of watching my dad fight this, I stopped viewing him as sick or dieing. Somehow I viewed this fight so courageous and beautiful. When we went to the hospital for his second round of chemo, I decided to look at the other people. I was in awe. Every single person sitting in a chair, with chemo dripping into their body, cracked me a huge smile. Then I realized how incredibly precious these moments are.

Here these people, with all types of cancer, in all types of pain , are sitting there smiling and waving still, while fighting for their life. No one looked depressed, or sick...It was almost like that whole floor just lit up and I felt so comfortable.

There was an Indonesian man, a mexican female, and a few caucasion people, and I heard a Bishop going around asking if he could pray for them. Not one of them turned him down. I found such beauty in that as well. We all come from all sorts of religions and walks of life, but when it comes down to fighting for your life, that didnt seem to matter. Just amazing to me.

So I pondered this, is quality of life or quantity of life what matters most?...Of course they're both essential, but truly, what means more to you all?

Going through this my mind has changed. Its not the quality. Its not how long I'm here that matters anymore. Its what I do with my life. The quantity of good moments I build over the years. .

I have found such comfort and peace during all this and whats blowing my mind, because I'm a very emotional person, is I am so strong right now. I am so 'dream' motivated right now...Its a little hard for me to take off and go reach them while my dad is sick, but little bit by little bit I am planning, trying, doing something to get my life started. Because you never know when life will end. So I want to build as many good memories as I can.

It just really blows my mind to see the number of people in the world who complain about the little things. The city I'm in, I see moms yelling at her 3 old whose dancing in walmart. Not running around, just being a cute little 3 yr old. I hear people on phones at Starbucks yelling at their spouse. I see aggravated employees... Dont get me wrong, life is HARD and I'm sure people out there are really going through tough times, but I just dont think until they see someone close to them fight for their life will they realize, life is such a gift and too short to be hung up on circumstances and little things that may 'bug' you. Surround yourself with good people, laughter, awesome memories. 'Carpe diem!!' :)

It is until one experiences life that one realizes what it is. :)

Also, sometimes,
telling others will not be of much help or will not make someone see a bigger picture, but until one experiences the moments is when the telling starts making sense.

Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you are spending more time with your dad and building memories. Keep making each of them count.

I agree. There are many life-lessons that cannot be taught. The preciousness of life itself is one of the greatest of these. Compassion comes when we set aside our own pain and realize that of another, especially one with whom we connect. Then the mutual pain becomes a common ground for human shared experience.

I hope your father succeeds and goes into remission. It has been over thirty years since my mother died of cancer - it is not something you get over easily. But I agree with you Chels, for me her struggle was beautiful.

I think it was about this time two years ago we found out my sister had cancer. My sister lived everyday from then until about May 2012 with many things on her to do list yet planning on living another 40 years

She never acted afraid to talk about the possibility her time was short, but then none of us are certain of our tomorrows

Kaitlyn Maher could explain it better than I when she was seven

There will be a day
http://youtu.be/UxRD7TP5Kak

Here is a very interesting story

http://youtu.be/y1VG7895XnU

I know she is in a better place but she did fight to stay with us ,but the family on the other side have her completely in their dimension

"On Joy & Sorrow
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall. "
Gibran

I see my dad tear up when he talks about his time being short, but then again he'll talk about the things he still wants to do and there is beauty in that too...Its so cool to know the possibilities of him living a fill year or 5 more are slim, but he talks about traveling and taking me places, being able to drive again....the hopefulness cancer brings to people is actually so inspiring!

Thanks for your thoughts you guys.

Chels, you know my whole heart goes out to you and reading through your words made me tear up. It's so beautiful and I'm so proud of you. Thank you for writing that and inspiring.... I am happy you can realize how you strong you are, how strong you are capable of being as well as the beauty of struggle. I think that takes experience as others have said on here. I really like how others could show you those smiles and moments where they just enjoyed life, together. It's really wonderful to dream too, even if you cry along parts of the way. To not rule out a possibility because there may not be time for it, but to speak with that hope and passion. That is the spirit of life. Thinking of you and your dad always.

And wow, Michael, that were some touching verses you shared. I never thought of joy and sorrow acting together, but that is beautiful and thought-provoking. They do, just like through suffering we can be healed or see more of our meaning in life.

This is a very good idea to talk about and after I first saw thisthread I had to think for a while. It really does not matter what you do as long as you see the ssimplicity and joy in it. Sure there are somethings that will make you unhappy and we will have to do things we don't want to. We still have to make a living of course. Work sucks but we have to. But there really is truly beautiful people in this world and good people even. I am sorry chelsey for your father that must be so difficult.

Yet you seemed to find a silver lining through it all about life in general and how you want to live your own. My life has I would say been horrible for most of the time I have been living it. I won't say who is to blame but most of my life has been addiction and depression filled. Through my eyes I have seen a lot more than anyone should actually. Sadly. I would say over the last two or three months I have been doing ok. But that's beside the point.

The point is there is beauty out there and you have to find the right and good people. I agree we need to just live. Not caring if you dance in the streets so to speak haha. Find beauty in the simple things and you will find some happiness. Sorry I rambled on. Thank you all for listening and sharing xx