Weekly Contest Winners 7/10/2013

Another week, another weekly contest :) Well done to our winners and hm's this week, there were three clear winners. Thanks to judges also.

Winners:
In the Kitchen by Poet on the Piano (27)
This England by Mark Rawlins (14)
Whiteout by The Huntress (14)

HM's:
On Boosting Egos by The Huntress (10)
Music for the Night by: Thomas (10)
Will there be a place for me or you? by The Huntress (8)
Divine picturesque by Amreen (7)
Coquetries by Chelsey (7)
Hearts too Change Colors by: Everlasting (4)
Alcohol on your breath by Redangelwings (4)

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In the Kitchen by Poet on the Piano (27)

'This was, undoubtedly, one of the greater poems I have read in a long while, and something different from this author, and the poem spoke volumes to me. Everyone has some kind of addiction, be it positive or negative and Mary-Anne conveys this in such a way that everyone can relate to this poem even if the addiction in the poem isn't also the authors own addiction.

The imagery in the first stanza alone just screams out to the reader, the poem begging to be read and emphasised with.

"Live to eat or eat to live?"

This kills me inside. After spending several long years of my life repeating this phrase, I understand only too well the struggle written about in this poem, as I'm sure many others will be able to also. Such a short little line and yet it packs such a punch that it holds almost as much emotional power as the rest of the entire poem.

The last two lines, were in my humble opinion, the best way to end this poem. It shows a spark of hope and positivity. It may not have been proven yet, but the author wants it which is the first step to doing so; as long as she wants it then it is possible to achieve.

Remarkable piece (10)'

'I adored this poem in a very strange way. This wasn't a typical love poem, nature poem...the randomness of this topic and the craftiness that it took to write this stuns me. It's almost shocking that you don't see more poems like these. People have addictions to drugs/alcohol, yet they don't really see the effects of it til years later, some times they don't even see it. ..but with over eating or the addiction to food, we see the results of that pretty quickly. People feel the depression and anxiety it brings. ..however, if anyone did write about this, perhaps I missed it, but I already know it was not creatively written such as this. Your metaphors were perfect, the tone is very felt....I don't know what else to say about this poem aside from the fact that it gets my 10 due to the unique topic and style. Well done. (10)'

'"This poem has such serious content, but due to the title I would've have no idea where this was going (which isn't a bad thing!) I love how this writer brings such a message to her poetry, especially something like this. So often we tie our images to our self worth, and the yo-yo begins, as well as the esteem. This journey she's placed in front of us was very heartfelt, very vulnerable, and lovely read. That ending truly gave me chills -- so often we let food control us, isn't it funny? Some people don't have that problem, but I know I do, and it's sad, frustrating and really overwhelming sometimes. This poem was a shot into my own life and I relate so well to this poem. Keep up the writing on things like this, keep the awareness and keep the message. It's a struggle, but it doesn't have to be!" (7)'

This England by Mark Rawlins (14)

'I also researched then name of this male since I am not too familiar with origins, and found it is an Arabic name meaning prosperity. I found that interesting since
prosperity in many eyes is not just wealth and success, but the overall well-being of a person. This is such a powerful piece and what struck me the most was the almost indirect voice you have as the narrator. I can't tell if you are a friend or family member, but you are documenting this injustice, urging Imran to find some place of safety. The opening and closing lines provoked emotion for me as well with the repetition of his name, and asking what happened at school today.

I think many acts can be hidden at school or not handled with care in regards to administration acting... mostly I think this is because there may not be "evidence" especially with verbal abuse. It's heartbreaking how you include this dialogue and continued indifference by the headmaster, police, etc. Just because one person is being attacked does not disqualify it as a crime or something needing attention.
Wonderful flow in this too, you had a clear structure with this piece and a story that I was touched by. (7)'

'Intense write. To write on such a topic itself needs courage. To be misunderstood for wrongdoings is the biggest pain one can get and suffer. Very well depicted emotions. The characters in the poem give out hope as they fight back for being true and not a culprit. Very well written piece. (7)'

Whiteout by The Huntress (14)

'Everything about this piece is flawless. You nailed it! It just took me into that world of sadness and I felt like I lived every emotion you wrote. My comment may not be long but this poem is a real masterpiece. An inspiration! (10)'

'This poem says so much in such a small stanza. How one can fit such amazing metaphors into short lines is crazy talent. Loved the first few sentences and how they described your title, and that ending is mind blowing...totally mind blowing.
I'd like to go into serious detail about just the ending sentence, but all it makes me say is whoa...I've been there. I get it. Ive felt it. (4)'

HM's

On Boosting Egos by The Huntress (10)

'"So many descriptive pieces in this poem overload the senses and overload my heart. Truly a beautifully crafted piece, each item placed seemingly well thought out and full of intent. I agree with the comments on this poem and they took the words out of my mouth.. the phrasing is particularly beautiful and interesting, and the language is absolutely superb!" (10)'

Music for the Night by: Thomas (10)

'What a breath-taking, intimate poem I found this to be. I really liked how you simply structured this piece from two lines to three lines, as well as the use of the dash. It almost made the poem more appealing in that it wasn't two big stanza's together, this has more visionary lines. The metaphors were also something new, especially that first line with this person's ribcage. That is an unforgettable line. I enjoyed how you portrayed this person and your journey with them. It has this silent devotion, this mischief, as well as maybe having this superiority. You were perhaps just a child in love where this person felt more in control, able to mold you. Fantastic verses, can't single out a favorite line, they all added imagery and got me thinking during certain parts of the poem how you aren't necessarily angry, but you state this matter-of-factly. As if you should have known. The ending as well expresses to me this love was not tangible, but you hear the echo of that melody still, even though it can't be fulfilled by you. (10)'

Will there be a place for me or you? by The Huntress (8)

'I quite enjoyed this poem, and found the author managed to write about something that touches the hearts of many and though the content of the poem itself was bittersweet, they wrote it in a very enjoyable way for the reader. I especially liked the opening line as it left the reader questioning exactly what has been asked here.

The first two lines of the last stanza were shaky as the others had a fixed rhyme scheme and it abruptly disappeared here only to return in the next two, and I found the first two lines of the second stanza to have a somewhat shaky flow with the rhyming, whereas the rest flowed wonderfully.

The last line makes me wonder if the author is talking to happiness itself, is she for some reason unhappy? Or if she is talking to a person that could be the one to bring her happiness; an unrequited love perhaps?

And I thought this was a fine way to close as it leaves room for the reader to wonder and interpret freely. (4)'

'"The title really pulled me in here -- I had to have the question answered. I don't think this was intentional, but the writer placed a soft rhyme on the last two lines of the first two stanzas, and I thought it was a nice play to the piece. Too much rhyme can take away from content, but it seems like this wasn't on purpose, therefore couldn't draw from the message at all. This poem is almost vent-like, very vulnerable and I love that. Again this author creates SO MANY images in her poetry that it just blows my mind -- it's so interesting and really paints a picture. The whole poem has such a sad, sad feel, but a twinge of hope as well. Beautifully done!" (4)'

Divine picturesque by Amreen (7)

'This nature piece is stunning...the crazy thing about this is it didnt have unique words that pulled me in, it was the arrangement of words you usually see, described so perfectly. This poem was definitely art in itself, it painted a picture in my mind that was EXACTLY what your title is...picturesque..just so perfect.
Absolutely love what you did with the quote..you almost changed the direction of the quote and I thought that was really clever. Very nice piece.'

Coquetries by Chelsey (7)

'I was torn between this poem and one other from the nominations page when I was deciding on my votes, and being completely honest I hesitated several times before choosing this as my final decision.

Not because I thought that this didn't deserve to be chosen or that one was better than the other but because this seemed more like a "venting" kind of poem to me. What finally swayed my vote this way, was the imagery that Chels placed within this piece, in particular the first two stanzas, I find it beautiful.

"I tried my hardest to bite the nails of this poem, to sweat from its
forehead, to lay on the lines of this paper, surrender to these ongoing
feelings and leave it blank,"

This was my favourite part of the entire poem as the imagery here is so incredibly vivid and detailed, the emotion so real and heart-felt. I truly believe this is one of the better openings to a poem that I have seen in all my years of reading poetry, both published and unpublished.

My only critique here is for the last few stanzas; to try and reword a little or maybe swap some things around, add more imagery etc, so that it becomes less of a venting poem towards the end, and sticks with the beautiful content and theme it started with originally. (7)'

Hearts too Change Colors by: Everlasting (4)

'The author expresses personal and quite moving thoughts about moments shared with her and her grandmother.

I love the innocence in this piece, the heartfelt desire to acquire her affection, as well as that touch of honesty that you were rejected. It's amazing how you go deeper into this poem and speak of the walls getting whiter, and as you have aged, how you have learned to forgive.

Great tie-in with the title and the beginning with the colors. I hold certain clips of memories in my mind from when I was with my own grandpa away from home... and it's little things like the color of the wall or what the street was called that all play a part in remembering our story.

That ending is such a release of emotions and it is truly beautiful. It made me think this grandmother had little hope, would not be chasing after dreams or you, but was content to stare at walls, feeling powerless to live. (7)'

Alcohol on your breath by Redangelwings (4)

'The writer did an incredible job of bringing out the pain in one's life and how one tends to end their lives by thinking of it as an ultimate solution. But, here the writer has depicted the courage which is required to take this plunge and go about it. The beginning stanza held a lot of imagery in terms of how the incident took place and how the sufferings of life overcome the pain of killing oneself and this feeling is utterly disheartening and painful. I must say, the wording, flow and the thoughts were put up all together perfectly and the message it gives out is really saddening. (4)'

Colm

Congrats to everyone thank you judges. :)

Congrats all!

Thanks for my Hm!

Congrats winners!!

Congratulations to winners and hm's, beautiful poems!

Beautiful poetry everyone, congratulations winners and Hms :-)

I forgot to say thank you for the honourable mention on my poem. Thank you for the kind words too. Xx

Wow, this brightened my day! Thank you so much judges, the comments are beautiful and express the meaning the poem has.

Congrats to The Huntress & Mark, awesome work as well as the HM's!!!

Congrats Winners and HMs:)

Thank you Judges for my HM too.

Awesome poems!!:)

Congrats to the winners, and to the HM's xxx

Good job judges xx

Congrats to the winners! Much deserved

And thank you for the Hm's.

Congrats all around.
Another week of no issues! Woo!

Congratulations everyone!