Weekly Contest Winners 2013-10-21

I have to be in Court early tomorrow, so I'm putting them up tonight.

We had a sub-judge and 3 clear winners:

21 October 2013 Weekly Contest Winners & Honorable Mentions

We have *hands* down sentimental favorites this week that are quite *moving* in their poignant description of *deprivation.* Well deserved all.

Deprivation by The Queen 10 + 7+ 4
Hands by Chelsey 10 + 7
Moving by Colm 10 + 7

Dead End by Hannah Lizette 10 + 4
Three by Melpomene 7 + 4
Dusting by Maple Tree 10
The Cost Of Kindness by Baby Rainbow 7
Joseph my brother by Poet on the Piano 4
My Opinion by Gary R. Priester 4

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Deprivation by The Queen (10) I have always liked the insertion of parentheses/brackets because it reminds me of a soliloquy, or of a hidden thought. It also can put emphasis on what the reader should do or how they should feel. You definitely make an appeal to the reader that "they" who I assume are women or the personification of addiction, never leave him alone. They are constantly haunting him. I liked the ease in which you wrote this as well, not one or two huge stanzas with your verses, but you separated them well. Great metaphors throughout this piece that I thought were simple yet symbolic. I thought your role in this was interesting too, not sure if it was meant as a friend or as a love. Your care is there with the plea to have the sky not rain, which made me think this man will be flooded by his past and by his choices. What I admired about this poem as well is how I feel each word was chosen with care, with a certain tone in mind, with a certain image and I can envision this man. It is sad that those choices cripple us in life, especially when we know there could be a better path. The ending was very thought-provoking in my mind. Every part of him, physically and emotionally, is hopeless as he has been careless with his life... not making a decision that will benefit him, only make it harder to endure. Last thing I noticed is that there could be multiple addictions described here? I guess it depends on one's perspective, but the subtle uses of the cigarettes, women, alcohol could indicate that as well. Love the Linkin Park quote you had at the bottom, probably inspiration as well? Anyway, wonderful work!

Deprivation by The Queen (7) This poem held my attention throughout. The fact that there are two speakers (almost a narrator) in the poem makes it very interesting and it was done creatively (good punctuation, structure and wording). The sound of the poem is also strong and it starts with great sibilance. I also like the sense of an echo in the poem which is effective in describing addiction. Your poem gives the sense of the conflict within somebody suffereing from addiction and also the effect it has on their families: the echoing of 'the sky, from raining' makes it almost seem like the character is in another world or in a daze: probably how he/she experiences the world when indulging their addiction, almost like a shadow of themselves. All in all a very interesting poem which gives an original insight into the topic of addiction.

Deprivation by The Queen (4) I enjoyed this poem as it's full of metaphors, starting from the talking serpents in the first stanza to the sanctuary of sounds in the second, to evoke the sweet figure of a father singing him to sleep. The repetition of the raining sky is a way to strengthen the feelings and it creates a really nice visual effect, as all the three stanzas inside the brackets do, the last two ones especially, which I have found to be really emotional, as they escalate into something stronger and stronger, as each of the additions keep lengthening the darkness and the loneliness that night represents. This is a very touching and emotional poem, well done.

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Hands by Chelsey (10) Words can't express the emotion in this poem - Chelsey definitely didn't leave a dry eye in this house with poetry like that. I can't even imagine what she is currently going through, and I know poetry is such a great emotional outlet.. but her poem here shows so much strength. I love that she says she will read this at her Dads funeral.....such an amazing tribute to him. I had chills every line. There's nothing to critique here. Just a touching piece of poetry.

Hands by Chelsey (7) Such a touching poem dedicated to the person who has such a big place in our hearts. Deeply sorry for you loss again; this poem is a beautiful tribute to him and to voice those memories you will always cherish. The part that stuck with me the most was mentioning in the second to last stanza that he taught you to always lend your hand to anyone who needs it. What a humble way to word that and I don't doubt your father had great spirit. Really enjoyed reading the references of "hands", from the connection of football, high fives, to being in God's hands. Another part that was very emotional for me was reading about how you know your wedding day will not be the most important day you could have shared. I dream about my wedding and my father walking me down the aisle, but how true is it that he will still be with you, just watching from above. I can't obviously critique the content here, but from a strictly grammar/punctuation point of view, you did have a few spots where the flow was off and your thoughts ended too abruptly or didn't need a comma. He would be so proud of you reading this!

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Moving by Colm (10) Amazing! This piece really brings back gone by memories. It's truly difficult to get over dearest of memories and the people associated with it. The poem had so much of beautiful imageries to share and also the sad emotion that followed along. There is a deep thought behind the crafting of this poem and you did amazingly well with it. An Inspiration!

Moving by Colm (7) I loved this poem in the challenge and am so glad Colm posted it. I love his phrasing, he has a way about him that you just know it's his writing. There are so many images, this poem is packed with them, and that's something else I love. This poem had a touch of sadness, but also a bit of relief to me as well. Change is always hard, but necessary. I love that this is a poem that can be taken in different ways, too. Also love the reference to Icarus. Such a creative poem!

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Dead End by Hannah Lizette (10) This poem had a polished and accomplished feel to it and I felt the wording was excellent throughout. It was original with phrases such as 'she traveled along blue interstates that wove our cities together and bulldozed over moss-sodden railroad tracks' creating very clear and interesting images in the readers head. I thought the poem had both a strong ending and conclusion, with the last stanza in particular having great depth to keep the reader thinking about the poem. I liked the idea of the sign which seemed to work as concrete and abstract at the same time. Little wordings such as 'slingshots' and 'lace my fingers' add to the poem. I don't think I really got the full meaning behind the poem, which is a good thing because (without being blatantly cryptic) the open-ended nature is a puzzle the reader wants to solve and theorize about. It is a poem about 'reading the signs' but about more than that at the same time. Well done

Dead End by Hannah Lizette (4) What a fantastic piece that has thoughtful and symbolic imagery, as well as great flow. I loved the idea of you opening her eyes up perhaps, to another road she can travel on. Almost because this love will hurt you both in the end or you know it isn't best for her. Lovely piece. It also reminded me possibly of unrequited love? Or that this person is traveling on their own path, trying to find where they belong, and you know you must give her space.

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Three by Melpomene (7) This was beautiful! I really like the idea of using the symbolism behind the number three, which represents a trinity and unity that does no longer exist. "Signs of unity and trinity, but we lost these": I really love this part and cutting the sentence in half between the verses is also really meaningful. A once existing love that has become a skeleton, as she can't find her love anymore, not geographically speaking, but in her soul. She misses him and the three hour plane rides to get to his place, all spent thinking and fantasizing about hearts and love poems. The image of the blind mouse is also important as it represents the blindness of love and the incessant search for something, love in this case, a love that has consumed all of her metaphors as well as her bones and soul, both her physical and spiritual parts. The Greek alphabet hand-drawn on the bones represents to me how deeply she's been in love with him. That's a really enjoyable read, absolutely stunning work.

Three by Melpomene (4) I love how her poetry has so many "run-on" sentences. Maybe they really don't, because poetically you put a soft pause at the end of the break, but I read this poem (the first few lines) with such a fast, panicked pace, and I love that. I would love to hear her vocaroo this poem so I can see her intent. Another one of her poems packed full of symbolism, leaving you to your own idea of what she could possibly mean. I won't go into detail because I believe my idea is personal... but I love it. The ending is so full of hurt, but I love how it's worded. Always a fan of Mel's work!

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Dusting by Maple Tree (10) I really love this poem and I'm really impressed with it, the first stanza represents in my opinion, the paradoxically starriest moment of darkness, midnight, perhaps the darkest moment of the night which is however also characterized by the brightest stars, a paradox that symbolizes the fact that even in darkness the seed of rebirth can blossom. The second stanza perfectly describes this brightness, and I really loved the contrast between the word "dazzling" and the word "whisper", that was really lovely. It is a rebirth that seems to be going through passion, as the writer is somehow rediscovering her passions and now, naked (symbol of truth), rises up like the sun as the rebirth is finally complete. She has defeated darkness and her soul can live forever after these times of change, times that haven't ceased to happen though, as the writer clearly implies, as the it's in the nature of the universe to go through perpetual changes.

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The Cost Of Kindness by Baby Rainbow (7) Heartbreaking! There is so much of sadness within this piece yet the writer attempts to bring in a ray of hope within. The use of Poetry seems so perfect in the poem and adds more dimension to the write. Kindness indeed costs nothing, yet people and circumstances can make you pay a price more than your life. Thanks for the message!

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Joseph my brother (4) I could really feel the emotion in this poem and it did something many long poems can't: kept me reading interested from start to finish. The rhyme is subtle but effective when used (esp in the first half) and descriptions are simple but non-cliche. I also liked that it is quite specific: '7.30' and on the particular pew: obviously it was based pretty tightly on true events and this helps enhance the effectiveness of the emotion because it is truthful. I also think it is a very good poem for conveying sympathy: from poet to both brothers. The prayer-like repetition at the end is also effective and goes well with the theme of the poem. Not the most technically brilliant or creative poem but it doesn't have to be: it is effective in its simplicity and honesty.

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My Opinion by Gary R. Priester (4) Good write! This poem has some real meaning attached to it. It is so true about what the writer has conveyed here in the poem. Poem which is transparent in meaning is indeed enjoyable to any reader. Thanks for sharing this message.

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............. I thought my poem was beautiful, a personal dedication to my late father, but didnt think it was at all close to being front page matieral!....thank you to the 6 or 7 who nominated and to the judges...Im really overwhelmed right now. wow!

r.i.p dad :) little accomplishments like this are motivated by you!

I have to admit, I didn't even know my poem was up nomination lol. I haven't been around much, so thanks to whoever felt my poem was worthy. :)

Thanks to all winners and HMs!! Thanks so much judges for my HM and your comments! <3

Well done to all the winners, and Hms. And good job judges, tough decisions when there are so many good poems.

Great work all. xx

Congrats all. Thank you judges.

A huge congrats to the winners & HM's!
Thank you judge as well for your comment and thoughts on my piece. I agree that it is not the most technically creative poem and I simply wrote it out of need to, to tell his story... didn't spend to much time editting afterwards because I wanted to write my emotions at that moment.

A huge congrats, to the other winners!

Thank you judges for all these beautiful words. Deprivation is based on a real-life individual, a 21 year old guy and a relative of mine.

Tear dropping Poetic wins this week, congratulations Queen, Chels, and Colm :-) and Hm's and thank you very much for my Hm- the comment was greatly appreciated ~

I forgot to thank Larry for that very creative and interesting intro. Thank you :)

Same goes to TPAM :)

Congratulations winners and thank you to the judges for your lovely comments on my poem!

Thanks judges for the comments and votes! Thanks Larry for organising and well done other winners and hm's :)