Weekly Contest Winners 11/11/2013

A little early show as all the judges were timely.

:8-)

Three clear winners this week with Hannah wowing the judges, again: three votes putting one poem in first place and two HMs as well! Newcomer Mahal, dealing with typhoon disaster at home, may not immediately know that he won. Finally, perennial favorite Jenni Marie won and also netted an HM.

Distracting Time by Hannah Lizette 24
Daffodils by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko 17
Unscrupulous by Jenni Marie 11
Alis Volat Propriis by Hannah Lizette 10
Doppelganger by Poet on the Piano 10
Field of the Speaking Stones by Larry Chamberlin 10
Heavy Heart by Michael D Nalley 8
Another Saga by Hannah Lizette 7
Beauty never fades by Jenni Marie 4
Time's countdown by Redangelwings 4

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Distracting Time by: Hannah Lizette (10)
What initially drew me into this poem was the title, and all throughout your piece, how you personified time. I find myself wanting to do that in my own poetry because it adds such power to a piece. As humans who desire control, time is one thing we cannot move. I loved the atmosphere you created in the opening stanza. This love seems timeless... physical, emotional, historical. The second stanza was so unique with that appeal to the senses. I laughed at the pancakes part because you can never go wrong with making pancakes, any time of the day, and it's practically one of the only things I make. I liked "cottonmouthed hearts", it brought to my attention how deep down you and this person are connected, but have hidden doubts, fears, a spirit that may be drying up. The last stanza made me think of urgency. The very idea of pinning a millisecond to the mattress made me do a double-take! What an inventive line, actually wrestling with time to try to hold it back. Awesome ending! That change is now apparent, how it may have been lust at first but it is developing to love, to a simple, pure love. And you both are hoping time will not look too deep and try to stop what is growing. One of my favorites from you!

Distracting Time by Hannah Lizette (7)
The imagery here is something that really 'made' this poem. A sweet poem about two lovers actually falling in love -- beautiful descriptions here. I laughed, though, as I read the cookie-cutter pancakes and then 'pinned' .. because I just saw this on Pinterest. No idea if there's a connection lol. Anyway -- this poem was gorgeous and I love how the ending wrapped up with falling out of lust and into love. That moment is truly a sweet one!

Distracting Time By Hannah Lizette (7)
I apologize already because I know I'm not going to give you a proper comment that thoroughly explains why I chose this poem, but truly the only reason(s) are because of the metaphors. I just loved the "cutsie" metaphors used in this piece and I know to even say cutsie is not a word, let alone a poetic word, but your stanzas really stood out due to the excellent personification and metaphors you chose here. I loved it.

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Daffodils by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (10)
Comment: Interesting piece! What is more fascinating in the poem is the creative use of Daffodils and the optimism it contains. The writer has indeed spread the canvas with true colors of yellow, making one feel good and highly positive about life. Really enjoyed reading this! An Inspiration!

Daffodils by: Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (7)
Something I've noticed in your previous poems is that you reference flowers a lot. I feel this almost brings a delicate atmosphere to your poems, as well as symbolism. I love the comparison of seeing a daffodil for the first time and meeting this person. First image I have of is something bright, uplifting, and colorful. In further stanzas I realize the weight of what you are describing. That this person created many memories with you and you are lonely and possibly wondering what to do with them. Beautiful idea of dancing/walking over those daffodils... it makes me think not being able to see them may express love has forgotten you, or that you've failed this person, yet you are moving on. It also makes me wonder if this person has grown, changed like the seasons, and you can't have that full happiness with them anymore. The ending is gorgeous with that last image of the fireflies... made me think of having such an impact. Something careless, spectacular, unplanned perhaps. Almost seems sad near the end, fireflies forgetting to glow, like they can't remember light.

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Unscrupulous by Jenni Marie (7)
Comment: Wow! What sense of smartness in the poem! I really appreciate the intense cunning and smart moves the writer displays with her piece. I really could feel her words and indeed, an awesome poem.

Unscrupulous by: Jenni Marie (4)
I keep saying this is the perfect entry for the Survivor Challenge. It has a bold attitude, a fierce determination, and that spunk that you better keep an eye out for. Uniquely written, especially with the opening lines of what you are, that definitely emphasized how you will deceive and claim you are helping all. Again, what I enjoyed about this piece was how consistent you were in bringing everything you had to the reader. There was always something fresh, whether a metaphor or even that German word I had to look up! I liked the last stanza where you described yourself once more, but almost warned the others that you could be making it all up. So I feel like if someone wanted to make an alliance with you, you could be seeming falsely vulnerable. Great piece!

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Alis Volat Propriis by Hannah (10)WOW. I had no idea how this poem was going to turn - I already loved it in the beginning with the stark descriptions, but you wowed me with your ending. The last stanza blew me away, and I love the analogy with the cliff and faith, as it definitely rings a very true bell. After finishing the poem, the first half made me think it was about the devil with his temptations etc... especially when the bit about starvation popped up -- thinking about how the devil tempted Jesus in the desert. How I loved this poem, it hit me deep in the spirit. Beautiful!

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Doppelganger By Poet on the Piano (10)
I loved this piece. I first loved the exact measurements of the mirror. For some reason it gives the reader a better visual of the the exact size and visual of this character. Thought it really drew us in, in that first stanza. I also loved the details of the concrete (you)...I just felt you really kept the imagery going, especially with the wild eyebrow description. Kind of shows someone(s) who has let themselves go. Then this stanza:
But tonight, the air is thick, greasing
over my mind like oil that tries to
sing before anyone notices what has
left the cans and entered their system.
love that!!..very epic metaphor with that dark tone you are going for.
I just really feel this piece is full of so much emotion is the reader reads it carefully and it also carries this uniqueness that you don't often see on dark poems. Well done!!

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Field of the Speaking Stones by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather (10)
I'm genuinely surprised that this poem doesn't have any recognition, it truly deserves it! The opening had my mind flashback to the novel 'a feast for crows' and I wonder if the author drew inspiration from that and then put his own spin on it?
It isn't often that I come across a poem that makes me take a step back and think, because there is so many ways of interpreting it, yet this poem did exactly that and it left my mind in a maze to begin with.
"This is the time to speak
sort out your grievances
with words not swords
for failing that attempt
the field will drink again."
I can not stress how much I love this last verse! It's so brutally honest and apt that it's quite heart-breaking, truth be told. If only more people thought like this then there needn't be bloodshed each and every day, be it in the name of culture, religion, vengeance and just plain violence for violence's sake.
If only people could see that there is no need for any of this, those fields spoken of here would soon starve from hunger and the world would be a much better, more pleasant and safer place to live in. I only hope others read this and adopt this way of thinking.
I'm a firm believer that no matter how good somebody is at their trade, there is always room for improvement and yet here I can't find a single thing that needs modifying, it's perfect as it is.
I'm a big fan of both the imagery that has been wonderfully placed throughout this as well as the vocabulary throughout, and though I often find even the most creative and well thought out poems can often be choppy or lack-luster every now and then, this isn't one of them. As I said: perfect. Well done.

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Heavy Heart by Michael D. Nalley (4)
Comment: The poet has spun great thoughts within this little piece. This is indeed a to-the-point work and every phrase gives out a deep imagery to ponder on. Fantastic!

Heavy Heart by Michael D Nalley (4)
This poem really made me think -- the beginning gives me the strong sense of be sure not to judge as we are all a flawed people. This poem had some very serious undertones and much sadness. Locally, a cop was gunned down and it has been a tragic, tragic loss for the police force and all involved -- this poem immediately made me think of the senseless act we've watch unfold in front of our eyes, and believe it's something every one can unfortunately relate to. This poem has enough mystery to it that it can be formed into our own interpretation and I appreciate that as a reader. Very well done piece of poetry!

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Another Saga by Hannah Lizette (7)
What I love about Hannah's work is that she so often manages to use similes and metaphors in such a creative style, adding her own flair to it; instead of going for the tried and tested and/or becoming cliche. It's truly a pleasure to read her work and it's always poetry that I enjoy.
"and whisper
apologies to
the walls of
your heart,"
I'm thinking that here, the person you are speaking to has either closed off emotionally from you (Perhaps you have previously hurt him or her, either intentionally or unintentionally?) and they wont want to hear your words OR this person never had a heart to begin with, emotionally they are too cold to be reached?
The next verse has me leaning towards the latter, and I have to mention that I'm fond of the use of slap here as it ties in perfectly with what you're describing-deceit hurts, so does a slap albeit in different ways.
The fourth verse left me smiling a little, it reminded me of the age old saying time heals all wounds-and whilst personally I don't believe that to be true, what is true is that even if those wounds never fully heal, with time you manage to bear them, to live with them and you express that wonderfully here.
"and
induce poetic beauty
from my sorrow. "Adore this, as this is exactly what you have created with this poem-poetic beauty.
I really enjoyed the ending too, as even though it could be interpreted negatively (i.e. doing this all over again with the same result) I chose to take it positively-you know that you're hurting right now and that you need time to heal but you wont let the fear of being hurt again prevent you from seeking out love as deep down you know it has the possibility to be a truly wonderful thing, and something that you deserve.

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Beauty never fades By Jenni Marie (4)
I loved how jam packed this poem is of beauty and nature. There's such a soft, graceful tone to this piece that really allows the reader to envision the poem coming to life. My only distraction was the repetition of beauty never fades. Would have been nice to see it reworded, or used less. Your point is made clear in your descriptions that beauty is always there, I don't think it needs to be repeated more than once. ..other than that, I love the details and imagery I get when reading this. Very pretty piece.

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Time's countdown by Redangelwings (4)
I hesitated voting for this because of what the ending alludes to. No fault on the author's part, but simply my own preference of the genre of poetry that I like to read.
I think we have all at one time or other either written or read about things such as bullying, suicide, depression etc and for me personally I find it difficult to remain unbiased with these types of genres as so many fall into the average run of the mill quality and neglect to leave a lasting impression or say something that you haven't heard a thousand times before.
However, after sitting down and reading this several times I'm glad that I went with my gut instinct instead of my personal feelings and thoughts, because I now feel that this poem doesn't fall into the type I mentioned prior.
The author has managed to speak about something that thousands of people do but remain creative and unique about it, and leave the reader with some serious food for thought with their closing, insinuating what could potentially happen instead of simply going the usual direct route of somebody definitely committing suicide, and whilst the subject is such a serious and hard hitting one, they have managed to turn it into a beautiful piece of writing which isn't something often achieved.

Well done to all! Thanks Larry and judges :)

Congrats to the winners and hms

Thank you to the judge who commented on mine xx

Yes, thank you judges, especially for the very detailed comment on stones!

And thanks to Andrea & Rania for nominating my poem

Well done to all, and congrats on the Hms too.

Nice going everyone. x x

Congratulations

and thank you to the judges as well as the mods.

I had a really bad day but it definitely changed when I seen this! Thank you so much for all your kind comments, judges! Means the world to me. Also thanks to the people(Redangelwings, Baby Rainbow and Adreamer) who made it happen by feeling like my work is worth nominating!! :)

Congrats to all!!! <3

Congratulations to the winners and HM's .

Thank you, Judges.

And thanks a lot, Karla, for nominating my poem.

Congrats Winners & HMs:)

Thanks to Larry and the judges for their time and comments!

I am surprised by Larry's sense of punctuality. Let this be a lesson of an old solder ((younger than us in heart though)) to the green ones.

Wow, really wasn't expecting this, thank you judges & thank you for the constructive criticism on Beauty never fades. Thank you to Nana for nominating!

Congrats to everyone else!

Congratulations to the winners and Hms :-) beautiful poetry!!

and you are very welcome Larry, your poem was awesome!!!

Thanks for all your work Larry and thank you judge for the thorough comment!

Congrats winners & HM's!