Hannah's Poems :)

Please read the following poems, and then comment with the one you think is the best. Thank you.

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1. Petrichor

I tried to bottle a whiff of you
last night while you
sweated on the bark of
a lumber jack's nook.

However, the wind is selfish
and snatched you away before
I could grasp dewy fingerprints
and plead for you to nest in
my neck of the woods infinitely.

Maple tree seedlings disguised
your direction with their
helicopter orbit while
you stashed yourself away
like a squirrel would hibernate
his most delectable acorns -

and once again,
I'm left here scentless
until the day the weatherman
signals your homecoming.

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2. Braille

As she glided chatoyant
lines across her eyelids,
he counted the spaces
between each freckle
tattooed on her bare shoulder.

Chanel fondled the air
and he foreseen that
once the final bite of
the last course caressed
her rhubarb lips,

he would travel across
goosebumps along her
ivory terrain and read like
the blind until they welcomed
the sunrise with a
goodnight kiss.

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3. Comanche

Between fields of
corn husks and
wild buffalo,
a teepee strives
to withstand a
frigid winter -
an internal frost
that he left behind.

She whispers
apologies into
smoke signals,
praying he will puff
her sorrow within a
starless sky and
return with
unfiltered love.

--

Dreams go uncatched
and feathers
unweaved, while
arrowheads sharpen
themselves against
neglected bones -
preparing a special
war paint for her
final voyage.

It has to be 3 for me Hannah. I love the idea of #2, to add braille into poetry the way you done was so clever, unique. But I done this post to show how people are drawn to different poems, no matter how well they are written or creative they are. I simply pick #3 because it is the one I connect most with and enjoy reading it each time I do. xx

I love number 1 because of the way you wrote it. I am fond of nature poems

#3 I like the most

I like #1 most I think, nice ending and the image of the squirrel is a nice touch. The combination of maple seedlings and helicopter orbit might have been a bit too much for my taste though, I wonder if there's a significance to those details? Or maybe it was just the "maple tree seedlings disguised" part that felt a bit like a mouthful. Not sure. :p

I also like number 1 the most :-D:-D

I like the ideas and unique imagery you have in the first two poem, but #3 is my favorite... I know I read this when you posted it and it still portrays this woman as well as painting her story to the reader.

I also like # 3 more. It stands out a bit more than the other two. I like your brevity. Pretty much how you bring the images out with a few words and how you take advantage of the titles. Specially, in Poem # 2 "Braille."

Thank you all very much for your input! :)

2 is great but for "he foreseen." It should be either "he has forseen" or "he foresaw."
The scene is so simply set that the reader is drawn in just as the lover, by the make-up ritual and his distraction of her completing it. The implications you portray are sexier than spelling it out.

3 is poignant (but "catched" should be "caught").

1 is scintillating as the distraught lover seeks what may not even exist.

Braille is amazing! The best is #2. Hannah, you are anyway a terrific writer!