Weekly Contest Winners 25/11/2013

Well done to our winners and HM's, and thanks as always to our judges! Three clear winners this week, well done Sincuna, Narph and Mahal Ko Kuya Ko. We had a good consensus this week with each winning poem getting multiple votes from judges, with only 3 HM's. Comments from one judge will be added here when they are ready :)

Colm

Comments:

Lies by Narph:
This poem is something incredible, this has to be one of my favourite reads. It's so full of symbolism and metaphors and words simply flow one after the other.

I thought the opening was pretty good, but it was after the first few stanzas that I began to realize how great this piece of poetry is.

"index over middle, fiction over fact" such a great metaphor to me, as lies and truth can intermingle just like two fingers, I really like this imagery.

"my mother taught me most lies are so dark they don't have names unless they're white"
This is simply amazing, bringing up your mother evokes a really powerful scene and strengthen the final juxtaposition ("but I do") even more, and introduces at the same time this other amazing juxtaposition of the opposites.

Not only does it create such a great imagery, it also conveys deep meaning. In fact, most lies are so dark that you aren't even able to tell they are there (that's why they don't have names, cos you aren't aware of their presence cos of their being dark) unless they are white (recognisable).

"that truth can't be stretched only broken into halves" you can't really stretch the truth, since it is what it is. As soon as you stretch it, it's not truth anymore.

"that fallacies feeds souls like water feeds empty stomachs, you go hungry, we go hungry, we're all hungry, no." Simply amazing. I can't help but being astonished as I go through these repetitions, constantly escalating the emotions.

"My mother never taught me to tell lies.
But I do. " Sweet ending. This ending is made even better by your usage of the word "mother" in the middle of the poem, which helps to somewhat link the beginning to the end, just before the final revelation.
Amazing poem, I really love it. (7)

This reads to me like a personal diary entry and one of those thoughts that weigh you down until you have to confess or reveal the truth. I like how you let the reader know at the beginning your mother never taught you to tell lies, then you confirm it once more at the end, saying how you do though. How you know the burden of a lie, all the consequences, yet you've done it. I think this has so much meaning in the reality that I've lied as well, in little ways, in big ways. It's still a lie. And I know my parents have always promoted honesty in our house and outside of it. It's almost like we're thinking back to how we grew up, on what principles, yet we sometimes get caught in the belief lies will hide us for a while. Love the strength of your tone in this whole piece. One suggestion though: "that fallacies feeds" - should "feeds" be "feed"? Striking point about the hunger in us all, lies can never truly satisfy. Well done! (7)

Beautiful poem with an interesting message in tongue-twisting fashion. I love how she went into such detail about different kinds of lies, their destruction (though that was minimally stated) and gave lies more of a descriptive nature. I really thought it was interesting and a great twist how at the end she copped to lying. I feel like there is so much more that could be written here, or maybe it's me just wanting more of the poem because I love it. It was fresh and unique, a topic in a new way. Love it. (10)

The poet has done an incredible job in describing the essence of truth. How intelligently has he shown the growth of lies within one and how the habit perpetuates within oneself. Also, the innocence of knowledge by his mother, as he says here, adds more volume to the piece. But, the end just shows the human tendency and gives a tragic twist to the wisdom shared. Intriguing! (4)

Also (10) points comments to follow.

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8:00 PM by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

This poet is new yet his poetry amazes me. The format of his poems are always similar to what he wrote here, but they portray maturity and profoundness in a way. Here, he has a story to tell, of him waiting for someone and how the ambiance was while he waited. Different indeed and a must read! Nice metaphors, nice words, nice flow. Overall, a spectacular piece! (7)

The only reason this poem didn't score higher for me was because I wasn't in love with the layout/structure. It was a bit choppy, and I think with the content of this poem, a little longer lines would give the poem a bit more flow and maybe not as much coffee-shop-reading emphasis. I do love how this poem completely ties together with it's theme and idea. The ending painted (haha) a beautiful picture and I really loved again, how it all came together. I felt like I was watching an old timey movie or maybe going through a series of photos. Touching, full of longing and sadness, this poem was beautiful! (4)

I really like this poem, it's magnificently apparently simple and I really enjoyed the sense of time that you have been able to create in spite of this simplicity.
In this scenario the mere image of coffee as well as the one of 8 pm both contribute to give meaning to the waiting , and combining all of this with the different metaphors scattered throughout the poem was simply wonderful.
I found that the flow was consistent whilst the imagery creates some stunning visuals in my mind and I found the entire poem to be flawless as well as unique. Good job. (10)

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Goodbye Letter for Mother by: Sincuna

Wow, this is such an emotional read and also a very touching one because that pain is so evident from start to finish. Mothers are a true blessing in our lives; I know my relationship with mine hasn't been perfect, that I've caused hurt before... what affected me the most in this poem is how you are persistently pleading for her to let you go and not blame herself. There is this tangible darkness and depression to your thoughts now. The more I read the more I think this is foreshadowing the end of your life. Or maybe you want to escape the pain of watching her care every second. The imagery is so strong here, especially with how she recognizes your sadness and is around to make sure you get through the day. Throughout this I imagine your promise to her is to try to be happy, to let happiness in, to not let sadness overtake you. I really don't know what else to say about this piece.... it brings such a raw aspect. Even though I don't know you well, just have read a few poems of yours on this site, I feel this turmoil or at least an ounce of it here. I always say I admire poets who are honest in their poems (if you are writing from real experience) and I do, I'm trying to do it in my more recent poems as well. Anyways, I could easily picture and feel the love of your mother expressed in every line... as well as you not wanting to burden others. Happiness will come, it may take time though and that's alright sometimes. Keep writing and don't give up. (10)

My gosh. This poem had so much emotion and power behind it.. it instantly gave me chills and midway through had me in tears. Poetically speaking it had a lot of devices that were interesting to watch for.. I particularly loved the bits of rhyme and don't know if it was intended or not, though it was strategic enough that I feel it was. The poem on an emotional level was dug so deep that it just broke my heart. I truly loved the way the writer wrote about the things the mother would do. It makes me want to know more into the back story, I am craving for more information! Gut wrenching write, one I have a hard time really digging into as it feels so personal. Well done! (7)

Also: 4 points comments to follow

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HM's:

Braille by Hannah Lizette

OMG! This is excellent! Hannah always amazes me with her metaphorical poems. The title didn't at all conveyed what beauty is stored in the poem. You have tried using the title in a different way- the skin and ambiance as a medium of love. The words create such a beautiful imagery of a sensual love. The entire scene is captivating and lovely. I really applaud your excellence in writing! An Inspiration! (10)

Also 7pts from judge comments to follow

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A Waltz Amongst The Stars by: Everlasting (4)

This is such a powerful and unique comparison that you give great significance to. I love the immediate imagery of the crowded room and your crowded closet. Your innocence here is shown, as you believe he has come back to maybe be that perfect fit in your life again. There is a certain appeal, a magic, an allusion that his voice has.. where you can't help but give in. The ending has that realization that you have grown as a woman as well as you realize the dignity you have, that you possibly gave away to this love in the past. You are better than this and how in the moment of the music and bright lights, you thought he could be the right love. Near the ending stanzas: "only to realized" should be "only to realize". A very memorable ending!

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Public cyst
by Aa Harvey

I like this poem and the meaning that it conveys. I can't help but consider this somewhat of a message written in a poetic form rather than a true poem.

Perhaps because the message that you've conveyed is so vast that so many other things could have been told about it, and I had the feeling that you could have elaborated on all the things that you've brought up a little bit more, and gone into further detail about them.

Still, if you consider it for what it is, that's a really good gem. Good job. (4)

Congrats to all.

Congrats to the winners and HM's!

I don't think I've ever written a poem this deep and this personal that received even the tiniest, tulip-sized attention. In the past, I would often write for the audience, with my personal bearings sitting secondary, this one was absolutely written for myself and my mother (though she should never read this, hopefully). So thanks to the judges as well!

Commenter #1: You are most certainly right. It is about foreshadowing one's death and the letter is more of an apology and a sign of appreciation to the speaker's mother, who's been the achor of his soul all throughout the bleak journey of his life. And you're right as well about this being based on experience. By the way, the speaker is bipolar and the promise was actually to stay alive, simply that. Hence the depressive atmosphere, the endless cycle. The torture it has on his mother.

Commenter #2: Thanks for embracing the poem as if the speaker was delivering it infront of you in the darkest and most silent of rooms. I can share the back story, just message me. :)

The setup is so different and confusing. we have to calculate the point ourselves. Isn't there any format??

I really can't wait for three month to be over to put some faces on this judges panel.

Thank you for the Hm!

The host can organize the points in a way that shows totals, or they can choose not to... that isn't the judge's responsibility.

Congrats winners!

Congratulations to Dashiel for the win and to Lucero for the HM. Two of my favorite poems!!!

Haha Dont I know that , I was a judge for God sake??
those two comment were separate that is why I put space between them!!

what you say is: "it is not the members business to say what format is better and it is all up to the host."
What I was trying to say was: " please you highness the host, even though you could do as you please, could please do it the way that is more clear for the members??"

I'm with above.. Colm, my eyes, my poor, old eyes! :)

Congrats all!

Haha, I'm not saying members' shouldn't have a say... only that it's not the judges' problem :P

Colm, edit ya damn post or I will!

Congrats Winners & HMs:)

Congrats to all!

Thanks judges! :)

Congratulations to the winners and HM's... Thanks, Judges... Especially, to the those three who commented on mine :))) Thank you, Ms. Sylvia for nominating my poem :))

It's quite refreshing that the only controversy about the weekly contest lately has been the format.

Congrats to the winners & HMs.

Thanks judges & Colm.

Everyone start getting ready for the next term, which starts with the new year.

ALSO we need a sub judge to finish out this term for one judge who had to leave.

Is the word "refreshing" an excuse to dismiss a righteous complain? I did not come with this complain myself , I heard it from so many outlet, people who can not come forward to say what is in their mind. Disregarding this with sweet words only sound like slacking to me. Colm was so enthusiastic to hear what the member have to say , promising to go long way for this competition. Now He doesn't even bother to change a goddam format?? is it because of pride, because I suggested it??

'Now He doesn't even bother to change a goddam format?? is it because of pride, because I suggested it??'

Its because I've had a very busy week and inconsistent internet access. Also, I presumed most people wouldn't need to have the totals posted to see what poems got what.

So good to know that you did not abandoned us totally.
dear Colm I know you enough to know you as a person of virtue and I am not saying this just because you are a mod, because I have made a reputation of going against the most vicious ones.
The format in the Chelsey's time was very convenient for the members, why can't we stick to that instead of changing it all the times. the virtue of a good king is always hearing his people.

Thanks!
:)

No, Ddavidd, the refreshing refers simply to the fact that the poems on the front page have been those selected by the judges & not through error because of the "glitch votes"

:) :)