Weekly Contest 16 December 2013

This week, as the New Year approaches, we might all sit out to watch fireworks and Flares of Orange, Contemplating that another year has passed, but never Mind the Time, congratulate Narph, Meme & Colm for bringing us vignettes of their personal lives. The Flares you see may be the departure of one who Never Minds the Time as they roll like an unbound Orange to their destiny.
[PS: Thanks to the one-time sub-judge who stepped up]

Never Mind Time by Meme 10 + 7 = 17
Orange Contemplation by Narph 10 + 7 = 17
Flares by Colm 7 + 4 = 11
Goodbye Shadows by Hannah Lizette 10
Save Me by Beautiful Soul 10
Speck by Colm 10
A Constant Pain by Meena Krish 7
Brilliance Is Your Shadow by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko 7
Body of Water by Narph 4
Bygone by Everlasting 4
Pearls - Memories Are Made Of Bliss by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko 4
To the Bitter and the Lonely by Sarah 4

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COMMENTS

Never Mind Time by Meme (10)
This is an excellent piece! Talking about self-realization, finding out where you stand and this entire process/journey is so well depicted in this poem. And what makes this more good is the fact that the poet herself has engaged a first person contact throughout the write and this makes us to in some way or the other also relate our phase of life, when we too go through a dilemma and seek an escape from our ownselves. The part where the writer pauses and then again resumes the poem makes us to question ourselves as to what we could have done if we would have been through this and then, she gives her insight. Liked it! Overall, an intriguing poem and loved it!

Never Mind Time by Meme (7)
I was torn between this poem and one other for my second choice and eventually decided to choose this poem simply because of the opening. I love it. It speaks so much and with so much volume yet it is almost like you're whispering it to the person you are writing to-like you know them inside out and love them dearly but simultaneously know that they can never truly love you in return until they have learnt to love themselves from within.
"may you
see your reflection the only
way my eyes see you."
This ties in nicely with my previous thoughts and makes me think once more that this person you are referring to is at war within themselves when they have no reason to be as they are beautiful inside and out but has yet to realize that about themselves-and start loving from within. It's such a subtle repetition of the thoughts feelings and emotions without actually repeating your prior words and I love that.
"And keep remembering that you
will always have a home in me."
I don't think I like these lines...merely because the rest of the poem is genuine and heartfelt, filled with concern and care and written so elegantly only for it to trail off into an overused and cliche ending here. I feel like you didn't know how to wrap your poem up so you just settled for this instead of working on these lines a little more.
Other than that, however, I find this heart warming and beautifully touching.

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Orange Contemplation by: Narph (10)
Again, Narph, you bring such flavor to your poetry. I feel a thousand things in reading your words and from the similes to the metaphors in this poem, I feel the color orange. It is brilliant and moving, like capturing moments we often miss. If asked what image pops into my mind first when thinking of orange, I would have said sunrise, as you did in the beginning. But there is so much more. Orange as a feeling? Like surprise? How intriguing. The repetition is absolutely lovely and everything was refreshing. I smiled at the part about orange not fitting a rhyme scheme, because how true is that?
My favorite part is how you have this soft yet curious ending... it's like you have found a conclusion of what an orange means, how it relates to you and being that one fruit, yet that wonder of something more in life. It automatically makes me think of what options we have in our lives whether career or everyday decisions. Do we go the same route or ones we have discussed prior? Or do we marvel at paths untraveled?
Such a fantastic write, what a lively piece... enjoyed reading this!

Orange Contemplation by Narph (7)
Full of vivid, gorgeous imagery and a beautiful play on words. This poem truly hits all your senses in a fun and unique way.

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Flares by: Colm (7)
I'm not sure if this will make sense but there is a certain articulation in your poetry. It always grabs at me like each word is not meant to be heard but truly listened to. I love the opening image of the candle lit on winter nights... that evokes imagery, coziness, romance, and that fullness of having a candle's fragrance and light. What significance is shown here with the wick being worn down and this realization that possibly you did not want to have to tear down your life to improve your love's. Neat verbs here with "squint", "brewed"... the second stanza speaks to me that this person contrived some of their characteristics where others may have called them charming or kind. However, this is not their true nature.
I do have a question with the "asterix on my epitaph"- did you mean "asterisk"? I assume this is a reference to a footnote or an omission, which would illustrate this person's impact or lack of a beneficial impact in your life. I like the inclusion of the Chinese lanterns because that seems personal and beautiful, something to be admired by the two of you. And you know you can't forgive those words and memories, you might be able to move on, but you hope this person won't be able to.
You have such a unique tone here... there's this odd combination of passion, spite, maybe revenge, then the want to be remember so this person might possibly realize what happened to this relationship.
Wonderfully written!

Flares by Colm (4)
This poem got points hands down for the imagery. Jam packed with descriptions I loved it. The only thing I didn't love was the use of crimson, only because the ties it has to cliche poetry on pnq. Other than that one word, this poem was full of beauty.

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Goodbye Shadows by Hannah Lizette (10)
I love Hannah's way with words, she always succeeds in really pulling her readers into her work and allowing them to both visualise and feel what she is experiencing, and this was no exception.
With each new poem that she creates she becomes better and better at her art and I always love to see a new poem from her as I know I will not be disappointed and will thoroughly enjoy it.
Another thing I enjoyed about this was the symbolism of winter and cold, I found it to meld wonderfully with the content and subject of the poem-like you're feeling cold and desolate because you have been left behind so suddenly and unexpectedly.
Both the imagery and metaphors you have penned throughout this add such emotion and depth throughout and I adore the closing lines, it's almost as if you are acknowledging that it may be painful to do so, but finally, you know you need to move forward in your life and free yourself from the pain you're currently feeling.
As always, wonderful writing from Hannah.

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Save Me by Beautiful Soul (10)
I love this. There is a lot of darkness that is etched into every inch of it. The way things are worded, the emotions you portray are so tragic and beautiful. The message behind it is beautiful.
I like how you reference to the abuse in the end and how death seems to be an escape rather than something that you are scared of and that plays really well into the meaning and purpose behind of the story.
The imagery in the first stanza is... perfect. I love the mix of nature and sadness. Feelings can seem so natural and it mixed very well together. The reference to the time of the year reminds me of the cold and sadness can leave a person feeling cold. Nice connection. How the addiction to the cigarette works with the idea of warmth.
Then the switch to the yelling and the idea of abuse. You set up the story before telling the problem and it works beautiful together.

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Speck by Colm (10)
This poem is sad and beautiful. A heartbreak in the making full of longing and sorrow. I love how descriptive this was, touching on the physical and emotional side. Well done!

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A Constant Pain by Meena Krish (7)
I love the idea of this poem. The simplicity of the break down, in my opinion, is beautiful.
The feeling within the poem is beautiful. I like how you start a few of this lines with the word "brave." It shows the strength of the other and the weakness in yourself. The idea of dreams failing time and time again plays well too because most people try one and give up. It shows the unique quality of the person this poem is written about.
The "..."s aren't necessary but I can understand why you put them there. Also, the very last stanza should have a question mark at the end?
That part is one of my favorites. It sort of shows the desperate need for strength, bravery and confidence in your life that maybe you don't have and again, that works well with the idea of the poem.

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Brilliance Is Your Shadow by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (7)
This poet can never go unnoticed! His poems have an identity which can be recognized from among many writers and identifying his works is apparent for now! I liked the beginning of course. something different to start with and the sudden transition of emotions and crumbled papers, this was amazing. The use of stars, universe and supernova in a different manner shows your brilliance in writing. I really look forward to reading more from you and this was indeed an awesome poem!

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Body of Water by Narph (4)
Narph has a very good ability to write brilliant thoughts with such less words. I need not say much of how good this poem is, but the imagery and depth of thoughts you brought in here is spectacular. Also, the metaphor of becoming an ocean and the subtle senses of lingering amazes me. This is terrific for sure.

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ByGone by: Everlasting (4)
I was inspired by this to be honest! I love how you wrote this from your heart as well and in reading the little note at the end, it is something you feel compassion for.
There is something so timeless in your poetry... it takes me to a culture and a generation I did not know or can never fully understand. I think of native women who have such rich ancestry, who work and you can see their calluses yet they are not ashamed. The message you spread is heart-warming.... you are a voice for these women to stand strong, keep moving, and not let life get them down. Some especially memorable lines to me are "I know your love is an oasis, not a sin"- that is deep and I can imagine that painted on someone's canvas or wall. It makes me think that these women are still learning how to love the best way, the most true way, and that love serves as a refuge. Beautiful metaphor and tie-in at the end with actually being a desert. We are all dry and barren of certain emotions, virtues, dreams, yet we hope to have them grown in us. Such a touching write!

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Pearls - Memories Are Made Of Bliss by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko (4)
The reason I love this poem so much is because of how pretty and unique it is. I don't recall ever having come across something like this before and that allows the poem to stay with me for a long time after reading it, even without keep coming back to it. (Although I admit I did, and fell more in love with it each time.)
I found the structure of the poem appealing, it was almost like you had so many fragmented thoughts and feelings that you were in a rush to lay them all down before you forgot them, like you had so many that if you tried to rationalise them you'd lose focus and forget some of them, and I found this to work really well with this poem as the finished result was like you just had to say everything in mind, and although it appears fragmented it works wonders as it gives your readers a chance to share in your sense of urgency.
I found the Grandmother's words to be the most moving part as they are full of such hope, inspiration and positivity, which creates such conflicting emotions for the reader given most of the poem is found to be bittersweet and melancholic.
Very pretty.

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To the Bitter and the Lonely by Sarah (4)
Rhyme. Ugh I love rhyme. Haha. It works really well here but the last stanza is a little weird until you get into the rhythm of the whole poem and then it works.
I love the feeling of loss and loneliness in this poem. Seems as if you've lost yourself yet you still cling. Almost as if you lost yourself because of someone else. Someone who maybe made you feel like less of yourself than you are? Maybe. Just the feeling I get.
Love the feeling of salvation. Like you're trying to regain something that is going to take a lot of effort to get back. It shows the struggle, one that many people can relate to.
Works nicely. Love the wording and the feeling. Nicely done.

Congratulations all and thank you judges and Larry

Congratulations .. Great poems this week :-D:-D

Thank you, Judges ..
Especially to the two who gave lovely comments on mine :-D

Thank you so much for the HM! :) Lovely comment, judge! <3

Congrats to all!!

Congrats to the winners and HMs! :)

Congrats Winners & HMs:))

Congratulations to everyone for their hard work, Winners and HM's.

Wonderful poems this week, congrats winnners & HM's!

Well done everyone!

Congrats all, but.. last week, and this week, two pieces of the same writer have won, knowing that they already won when the writer posted them on their old account.

Isn't this against the rules?

No.

Congratulations, guys!

Thanks everyone, and congrats to other winners and hm's :)

Abed, as far as I know there isn't a rule against it, I will have to go back and check it out. I have a recollection of it being discussed but I think it was said that it'd be to hard to police and because different judges are judging it didn't matter, but Ill have a look and ask and see what I can find.

Thank you and congrats!

"Congrats all, but.. last week, and this week, two pieces of the same writer have won, knowing that they already won when the writer posted them on their old account.

Isn't this against the rules?"

I remember something like this, but can't remember what the exact rules were.

You have a great memory, I can't remember who previous winners were!

Congrats all around!

"Congrats all, but.. last week, and this week, two pieces of the same writer have won, knowing that they already won when the writer posted them on their old account.

Isn't this against the rules?"

It was 2 years 8 months ago that one of the winners poems won the first time. That is a long time.

I also remember something about this rule but...I think it was never cast in stone rather, made up on the spot depending on which way the wind was blowing that particular week :)

Anyway, as Sylvia said...2 years and 8 months is a very long time and, if a poem makes it to the front page twice...with different judges in place.. then I can only think that it definitely deserves a place there.

He wasn't around that long ago, he is just picking up on gossip and trying to cause trouble

would have made much better sense to go to pm re this.. but no that would have been too sensible

Well done to all and congrats on winning twice, 10 times wouldn't be enough for your poems !

Before this thread degenerates further please withhold attacks

I do not recall any rules regarding the subject but the poem plainly shows 2011 at the bottom.

Further, when the poem was deleted from the old account, it disappeared from the list anyway.

As far as I am personally concerned, no foul no penalty.

Fair ball!

When I make a bed, I lie in it.

Orange you going to say something?

The poem surely deserves to win, but I was just thinking of letting others climb to the front page. not a big deal, really.
and thanks, Britt. I sure do have a memory for the great pieces which have won since 2011 til now :)

Congrats to the winners and HM's.
Thank you for the comment.