*more of a journel entry* Matter's of the heart

God, the love of my life just broke up with me. It makes sense, I know it does but I still hate the reality that she will no longer be my sweetie, my baby, my only love. You think getting shot hurts.. try being left by your soulmate, the love of your life. Try that! It hurts a million times worse! Actually the hurt cannot be properly described by words, you can only know by experience. You get shot and you may or may not die. You lose your sweetheart... you might as well not live any longer. I've been shot before too, I'm not just talking out of my...well, I'm but pulling your leg. Life without her is no life at all. It's just that life isn't about the amount of breaths you take but the little moments your love gives you. God, that's how it is with me and her. So, life without her?...no such thing. I'm no fool, I will not take my own life or kill myself in one way or another. well, with the exception of mourning for the rest of my days. That slowly kills me day by day. I thought we felt the same about each other, I thought we loved each other with all our hearts...but I was wrong. She wants another and really didn't truely love me the way I thought. She may not even know what love is. *sigh* But this will have to be because I'm already gone. Out of sight, out of mind, our of heart, out of her cares. Yeah. But it may sound crazy...but I'm glad she's happy. I know, crazy. But that's all I really wanted for her. Just wanted her to be happy. I really am gonna miss her, everything that is her. Her words, her laugh, her personality, her warmth and love..which may not have even been real to her..but I'm just..I'm just gonna miss HER. I don't know if anyone can understand that. She's just a good person in general and I know she'll live a great life. I just don't know what I'm going to do without her. But... I wish her all the best for all her life, I pray for God to watch over her like I couldn't. Make sure she has the happiness she's always wanted. Becuase...I love her, I always will. I told her that but she may not have known how deep I meant it. Too late now. Just because.

P.S. Auliya will always have a special place in my heart.