Weekly Contest 06/01/2014

I must say it felt a little strange typing 2014 up there. I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the year! Congratulations to our winners and HM's this week. We had three clear winners and a nice variety of HM's. All five of our new judges voted and the contest ran rather smoothly considering it was change over, so big thanks to the judges!

WINNERS:

Molting by Hannah Lizette = 10 + 7 + 7 = 24
Canvas of a Modern Day Poet by Sincuna = 10 + 7 + 4 =21
Sticky notes by Poet on the piano = 10 + 10 = 20

HM's

That's How I feel- Dry by Everlasting = 10 + 4 = 14
Say Something by Colm = 4 + 4 = 8
Widow's Night by The Huntress = 7
Mystic by Beautiful Soul = 4
Lilac by Beautiful Soul = 7

COMMENTS:

Molting
by Hannah Lizette

This poem gets me every time I read it. Yes, there are a few structural things that could be reworked but the imagery, the feeling, the overwhelming whirlwind of a delivery that the poet has created.... it's truly striking. I like how you've started the piece, dropping us straight into the action, right before the storm hits, so to speak. We enter into the poem just in time to witness the destruction, and we're given no time to dwell in what's about to happen, no time to try to stop it the damage, to try to warn, nothing. I love that feeling you've created. And the power of a storm is so similar to hidden anger. I especially love the calm you've mentioned, the dual existence of destroying something while witnessing the destruction, almost mesmerized by it. The last line is strong, too. You've done an excellent job marrying your thoughts to your imagery and layout in this piece. Well thought out and clever. I'm very very into it. (10)
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This author took that idea of peeling away layers of a person and their identity to make this incredibly vulnerable poem. I loved how each stanza was another look into the journey of this woman, of giving everything. Then, there was the metaphor of a storm, one that has been building inside of her because that is all she had left, stripped of everything else for this person. I was captivated by these lines: "I destroyed you (us) within a matter of seconds" because it made me think this person didn't mean to harm the relationship, but that it was almost the fate of the relationship. Two strong people involved who did not know of the journey, of the warnings, of the sacrifices....whether that be negative or positive. The last stanza was so memorable! It gave me that aha moment and truly showed me this author cleverly wove emotion and depth into this metaphor. When reading and hearing of storms and their infamous names, I will now wonder if there's a story behind them. (7)
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Comment: Incredible! This is sad and intriguing. Hannah, you are awesome and words really cannot express your superlative way with words. Perfect! (7)

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Canvas of a Modern Day Poet
by Sincuna

What I truly adored about this poem was the opening. You have such a way of pulling your reader into your world, of allowing them to feel and see your emotions and experiences.

I thoroughly enjoyed the sensuality of this poem, it reads as a love poem to poetry itself and I thought that was very unique and refreshing to see. Often I come across poems about the lack of poetry, writers block, so it was very nice to see a type of poem that genuinely praised poetry and in such a pretty and moving way.

Love those last lines-because in their own way everybody is a poet, everyone has a story to tell, and you sum that up in such an alluring and graceful manner. (10)
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"Stroking every letter of my body" -- this is the line that really brought me into this poem. The subject of this piece is clever, but the metaphors are what hold it together. I also think your imagery is quite strong: "fingers passing every street of my body, as if searching for that one empty alley, where he could take me away; seduce me, own me." Bodies with streets, bodies with empty alleys, these thoughts are so endearing and tantalizing. I just want to sink into this poem, much like poetry seems to want to sink into you. I relate so much to the second stanza, although maybe in reverse. Wanting so bad to flirt with poetry, coming up with a few spare phrases here and there, but utterly unable to hold on to it for long enough to keep it mine... it's a lovely piece Sincuna. I wish I had more points to give. (4)
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I absolutely love the sensual feel of this poem. Ugh. I read it and fell in love. It has its sensual moments without being too dirty and awkward but I think it definitely draws the connection between poetry and the human body and mind. The connection between the two are intimate. Poetry is a release of emotions, it is an exploration of the mind and I like how you reference to the whole person instead of just the brain. Makes it more personal. And poetry is personal indeed. If you would trust this figurative man with your body then you trust poetry to express how you feel perfectly. I like the idea of how this "man" touches every part of you that evokes a response and poetry does the same as well. I love it. (7)

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Sticky Notes
by Poet on the Piano

There is something poetically haunting and beautiful about this poem. It's beautiful and tragic. I like how it starts with rituals and adds in some description about the person of the poem. Sets up an image. I also like how you allude to the notes throughout the poem.

Then you hit us with the bombshell. Before I read the bottom where you explained what the poem was about I had figured it out. Mental illness. When you brought up the idea of the voices I had a feeling I knew what it was and I was right.

I like the idea and feel of this "keep your grip on reality" sort of sense. The person has obviously lost a lot of their ambition knowing that the illness will hinder their life. It is life-changing. You can feel that rather well throughout the poem. Lovely really.

But then again, there are bits and pieces of hope and how the family and friends will continue to visit and make the person feel sane and normal rather than like they're an outcast. Sends a positive message.

Love the ending. It was a great way to end the poem.
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Comment: I feel this is a beautiful piece. After I read much on how this state evolves, I was actually able to understand every word you wrote. You in a way, told her story and this piece is emotional yet enlightening giving their importance. Loved it! (10)

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That's How I feel - Dry
by Everlasting

I was initially dismayed by the length of the poem, as I thought it was going to become lack luster and/or pointless mid way through.

So I was genuinely surprised to find that it didn't, I found that the pace is kept well throughout and I enjoyed the way the author layed this out.

It's almost as if she has so many thoughts yet she doesn't know how to phrase them and yet simultaneously it's like she writing non stop, almost as if she is feeling rushed by her own mind, which created a kind of paradox for me.

I thought the emotion in this was superb, life has a way of bringing us down at some points and that is captured very well here and is something so easy to relate to.
Moving and heartfelt. (4)
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I have not seen or read a style like this in quite a bit on PnQ. The author's versatility in creating unique poems always draws me in and this is no exception. I truly felt the few words per line worked well in capturing self-reflection and the thought process of these emotions. From start to finish, I was wrapped into this author's thoughts and the complexity of this feeling. I never imagined a person "feeling" dry, only physically being dry. There was such expression in this piece that stood out to me, from the actual statements of how this author felt to the similes created... I definitely know the feeling of taking a bath too long and having the skin wrinkle, to the truth of having the bath take away the day's stress. I liked the play of "unclog sadness away once and for all". What a beautiful yet desperate image. I thought the repetition of "null, blah, meh" was neat and almost opening to the reader this idea that they are feelings. The ending was not something I expected. I loved how the author's voice became a bit more powerful with the "I just need" then relating it to courage, the world, and overall wanting to be fearless in society. Such an introspective poem that made me think near the end about my role in society and my own anxieties. Fantastic work! (10)

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Say Something
by Colm

I always find such charm and nostalgic imagery in this author's work. The examples given of this person were genuine as well as heartfelt. I felt his desires for an understanding of this person and the yearning to have a real connection with them. Those last lines were very thought-provoking... almost like the author is so drawn to this person that he cannot observe the effects of this relationship from the outside; he can't see or analyze if he will essentially lift this person up or be "unbecoming", unattractive, or perhaps not acceptable in this person's life. Would this interaction and presence in their life cause them to be unhappy?

Such gentle, inspiring imagery with a lot of depth in between the lines. (4)

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Despite most of the opinions on this poem, I love it. It seems to be a poem about what you wish to change this year and I think the end sums it up.

The beginning introduces a character that you wish to see in a different light, wish to look at with a fresh pair of eyes. And then you go deeper into explaining some of the things you want to change. You want a fresh perspective on life, to read your poetry and see a deeper meaning or message behind it, no?

Not only that, you wish to see yourself in a different light, to decipher the things about you that you don't know much about. I like that. Plus you want to lose the old self you had which seems to be someone else and find who you truly are.

Lovely write. (4)

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Widow's Night
by The Huntress

So many strong poems this week, and so few points available to give! This piece certainly deserves more. I love the imagery you've used: the personification of the dishes, the boney hands, the rusted wedding ring, all of it is so gorgeous and dark. The inclusion of the letter opener and the line "no skin left to scar" really gives this piece an ominous feel... I imagine you could be talking about the woman scarring herself, but I read it in a much more sinister way. It reminds me of an excerpt from a Russian gothic horror novel or something... and I can't help but be reminded of Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. I know there's a deeper sadness to this piece as well, which makes it quite captivating. All in all, stunning work. I love every bit of it. :) (7)

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Mystic
by Beautiful Soul

Wow! This is amazing. Less words, more imagery. Fabulous poem! (4)

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Lilac by Beautiful Soul

It's been a long time since I came across a poem that truly wowed me because of the imagery within, and when I came across this I was impressed.

There's so much beauty in this and it's overflowing with such great pretty visuals that I keep coming back to it time and time again, and it always leaves me with a smile upon my face each time I do so.

When I was reading this, I felt a sense of innocence, almost as if the author is describing love in its purest form and that again adds to the overall beauty of this piece.

Stunning work. (7)

Congrats to the winners and hms this week. Great poems. Well done all

Thank you so much for the judges' honesty and critique, and for posting this Mel. I greatly appreciate it, especially hearing feedback on what I hoped to convey. It was on my mind for a bit since my aunt does have this mental illness....though I can't ever fully understand how she has to live with this every day, I can only imagine from what I've heard/seen of her. It is emotional yet hopeful that she can make the most of each day.

Congrats to Sincuna and Hannah, beautiful pieces, as well as all the HM's :]

Great start for the new year.
Thanks judges & Mel

Congratulations winners & HMs

Congrats winners, and Hm's!

thank you for the comments

I tend to speak in a fast pace ... so that may be reflected in some of my poems specially in this one. I thought the structure would be appropriate to show that, I'm so glad both of you liked it.

Not to be disconcidered with my Hms, but there was one poem that i'm surprised to not see here though...

Congrats to the fellow winners and HM's.

Thank you for the judges, for their honesty and time, for treating the nominated poems like a child in their womb. Studying it, learning it, appreciating its craft.

To my poem, personally, thank you for making me realize how much I should love poetry. The judges are right. It is a loved poem for poetry. It is the process of writing poetry, how we become intimate with our work, how we sometimes seduce it, until we have owned it. The speaker is the canvas, the paper below candlelight, or simply, for a modern poet, the laptop.

So....it appears Hellon was wrong about this week.

Not exactly....my prediction...

Predicting Colm's poem as a winner this week :) or at least to have an HM...since the judges have changed over...last week it would definitely have won...

Oh. I stand corrected. Still, I feel Colm's poem would have been on par with the others on the front page this week. Well done, everyone. Good luck to the new set of mystery judges!

Whoever not choose me is wrong

Thanks so much judges for your votes and lovely comments! Also a big thank you to Mohan for the nomination!

Congrats to all! :)

Congrats to all

Congrats Winners & HMs:))

Thanks to the Mods and Judges for their work! :)

Congrats to the winners and thanks to the judges for the comments and hard work :)

Congrats to all the winners and HM"s.

Thank you judges for all your hard work and efforts to keep the contest rolling smoothly.