Weekly Contest 13 January 2014

This week there were two clear winners and the site broke a tie for third place. We are graced by a glimpse into the clearly precocious mind of a romantic and the stalwart verve of an octogenarian survivor of the stage. After that we see the short lived joy of youth, whether due to not being able to escape one's past failures or one's present bewitchery. Congratulations to all the winners and the HMs as well.

EDIT: all comments are included

Upon gathering heartbreaks by The Huntress 10+10+10+10 = 40
Rose and The Silk Flower by Maple Tree 10+4 = 14
Short Lived by Melissa 7+4 = 11
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Gingerbread House (Acrostic) by JaneDoeWrites 7+4 = 11
I never saw Blue like that by Melissa 7
It's a Cold, Grieving New Year by Maple Tree 7
Rambling Roses by Satish Verma 7
Pirouette by Jenni Marie 4
The bees' furry knee. by Darren 4
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Upon gathering heartbreaks by The Huntress (10)
I adore the opening image and introduction to the fact that you have never kissed at all. Automatically, I feel you opening up your thoughts and allowing the reader to understand why or how you are separate from this type of love, this love that is so free and able to be explored. I love how you admit to never going to those cafes, never partaking in that atmosphere that seems dreamy and significant. It reminds me of being a dreamer or romantic who can make any moment sound so pleasant... yet you have coffee for its effects, to get through the day and have that energy. My favorite lines are these: "I used to think I'd never marry not because I never loved love, rather because my thoughts were unripe to the realist in my head". These lines are captivating and resonate with me because of how our hearts battle with our minds. I believe in love and could even be called a hopeless romantic, yet when I truly think about my future, I wonder who I will be with? Will it ever happen? I see and experience such transformation in this poem, especially with you realizing you are not sad. It portrays maturity, growth, and almost a self-acceptance that until that love comes to you, you will be alright. And maybe you are destined to be a writer, who knows? Such a thought-provoking, vivid piece.
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Upon gathering heartbreaks by The Huntress (10)
'This poem stood out for me this week as a great write. It is very well crafted but effortlessly so: Descriptions and wording such as this paint a great picture without resorting to using long words, overly-complicated poetic techniques etc.: 'And I grew up drinking coconut juice,
wondering if it tastes different
with two straws and two
pairs of lips barely gracing
each other. ' - It rolls off the tongue and is almost nonchalant in tone but there is deep, multi-faceted meaning in this poem also. It is nostalgic, with the writer looking back not at things that happened as such, but more so at things that didn't. In this regard it is a sad piece, certainly bittersweet: maybe she will be a writer after all but at a cost, of loneliness that is her inspiration. The thoughts of experiences she hasn't yet have depress slightly but inspire at the same time, and this comes across very well in the poem. If I had one criticism, it would be that perhaps the language turns almost too simple near the end, but it still works because the poets voice remains very clear and the reader is already captured by the preceding verses. All in all, a well crafted confessional write that grabs the readers attention and gives us an intriguing pass into an interesting mind which we can all relate to also.
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Upon gathering heartbreaks by The Huntress (10)
I don't really have to say much about how great this poem is. Anyone who reads it knows. It's epic, an amazing, beautiful piece and I, personally, feel you on so many levels with what you're saying here. I could ramble about it but anything I say is going to pale in comparison to this piece. So I'll just say that the use of "creamy" when discussing a barista is wicked clever, the last line makes me struggle between being happy and being sad, and suddenly I'm questioning how much another straw would change the taste of coconut juice. Anyhow, I'm going to shut up now so I can go read it again. Wow, go you.
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Upon gathering heartbreaks by The Huntress (10)
What stood out for me more than anything else in this poem was the heart felt emotion.
So often I come across poems that describe emotions and feelings but never allow me to actually feel them when reading, and this wasn't one of them-I could feel every single word that the author laid out with her pen.
As always the imagery was beautifully crafted from this author and from start to finish allows me to visualise the pictures that she describes.
"not because
I never loved love"
Easily, these are my favourite lines. As small girls you're led to believe that someday your Prince Charming will come, and we fall in love with the idea of love itself.
Impressive work.
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Rose and The Silk Flower (4)
This poem may be a paean to graceful aging or a sympathetic analysis of a doddering eccentric. In either case the subject is never ridiculed, but set forth in terms of the ideals that may once have propelled her. The longevity of her spirit, symbolized by the never wilting silk petals, is demonstrated in her determined actions to stay always "present" and to always recreate herself on the stage of life.
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Rose and The Silk Flower (4)
What I enjoyed most about this piece was how it read and flowed like poetry, yet at the same time, I was fed this woman's story. I have noticed that this author can make a piece stand out by taking a description and giving it meaning. I was left inspired by this woman, Rose, without ever meeting her. She was charming (believing in true love) and seemed feisty (Italian born, having been a dancer). I truly feel her spirit in this piece. I like the ending image of how she has braved many years and is now trying to reach her destination in that city, on that public bus, and she will not give up. The symbol of the silk flower is beautiful, from when it was mentioned in the beginning, to the end. I can easily imagine how she gives life to the flower and until her fire is gone inside, the flower will keep blooming atop her head. A charming write!
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Gingerbread House (acrostic) by JaneDoeWrites (7)
I'm so impressed by this poem... Like, truly. Let me explain: to me, rhyme is tedious and acrostics are just acronyms... not much special there. But this poem changed my mind. The imagery was elegant and the word choice was well thought out and perfectly crafted. The way this poet utilized rhyme was spectacular. I never felt that the rhymes were reaching, never second guessed the poets word choice. The poet didn't limit themselves to exact rhymes, rather, they focused on an assonance based rhyme which was very successful and smart. I love the liveliness of the voice in the poem, too. It matched well with the rhythm of the piece. Really, really good job! :)
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Gingerbread House (acrostic) by JaneDoeWrites (4)
I think the poet did a good job with this poem in making it an interesting, generally smooth poem. I thought the rhyme worked well and the whole poem was quite lyrical; something not often found on here with rhyming poems. The descriptions were vivid and it is relatively action-packed. It stands pretty well on its own but a lot more aspects click into place within the context of the fairy tale. Overall, I'd have liked to have seen more punctuation and it's a little rough around the edges in places, but it is creative and enjoyable and well done.' (4)
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Short Lived by Melissa (7)
This brief candle illuminates the relationship which stifles the fire. The imagery of the sheer joy and freedom is in such great contrast to the bullet that extinguishes it, that you are caught in the middle of the read like you were hooked with a sucker punch.
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Short Lived by Melissa (4)
What I loved most about this was the sudden twist at the end. From the start of the poem I was expecting a romantic moving piece so was surprised at the turn it took at the closing, it hits the reader's heart very hard and sudden.
Adore the imagery Melissa paints throughout and although a relatively short poem she manages to capture my interest immediately and keep it throughout.
Very pretty poem.
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I Never Saw Blue like That by Melissa (7)
I haven't read your poetry that often, but I must say, this is exquisite. You really create such lively imagery and some phrases that stick with me such as "Your words lick my spine like a possessive lover"- what a simile! I like the twist at the end, how you come to realize you are burning/falling for this person too quickly perhaps and you have no control. That flame consumes you. What intrigues me is how much deeper you go than just comparing this love to fire, but saying no, you burned too deep, blue... the most hot part of the flame. It isn't the first thing I think of since I automatically imagine red or orange flames. The ending line makes the piece even more animated because when you are making this statement, I can only fathom what that would feel like, that heat. Yet you don't state that you will walk away or anything, just what happens at the possibility of being with this person. Gorgeous write!
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It's a Cold, Grieving New Year by Maple Tree (7)
This was one of the most moving poems I have come across for a very long time, one that really succeeds in tugging at the heart strings and causes you to tear up as you experience the poet's inner pain.
I believe anyone who has lost a close one could relate to this beauty. It's incredibly melancholic and bittersweet and yet at the same time so graciously written. As always the imagery Andrea creates throughout her work is second to none.
Beautiful work.
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Rambling Roses by Satish Verma (7)
This poem was one where the reader feels a step behind the poet in terms of getting the full meaning of the poem and they want to get there, so it draws them in. I find it interesting that it was posted in the nature section: I think it does deal with human nature and there are political undertones also with mention of society problems that the poet seems overwhelmed by and just wants to get away from and forget. I like the punctuation and matter-of-fact tone: it keeps the poem sharp and in a way, more honest. The first stanza was perhaps my favourite: it certainly got my attention while painting a clear picture at the same time. There are a few words that threw me off slightly: the suicide reference at the end I felt came on a little strong and the part 'download it in spirit' seemed a little awkward. But overall, I found this an interesting read indeed.
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Pirouette by Jenni Marie (4)
I'm generally not a fan of slam poems because usually they are one dimensional: diatribe after insult after incrimination. Here, on the other hand, the criticism is couched in such gentle slapping that the object of derision is given ass's ears, as it were: more a subject of buffoonery than scorn. The irony is so poignant that I imagine at the end the poet leans forward and straightens the hypocrite's shoulder straps for her. Maggie Smith herself would be hard-pressed to do better. Well done!
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The Bees' Furry Knee by Darren (4)
There's a grammatical disconnect in this poem that had me a little lost, but once I started reading this piece I couldn't stop and that means a lot to me. You like twisting words, which I can definitely appreciate (I'm loving the distinct impossibility/impossibly instinctive juxtaposition... I went back after reading it and reread that section a few times just for the fun of it.) This piece has a lot to it... a lot of thoughts, a lot of visuals, and at times it's very surreal (the bee to the eye, especially). And YET I think you've done an amazing job doing justice to your thoughts. I felt this poem, really. It feels like it came from my own head, and I think that's because there's an honesty in the writing. The images and concepts you've created here are entrancing and somehow very real. The end stanza especially. So, while I think it could use a little editing to clear up the telling, the content is good and the feeling it evokes is excellent. Well done!
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Congrats to all the winners and hms :)

Well done winners and hm's and thanks to judges!

Well I thank you all very much! Thank you judges for the wonderful comments! Thank you for the win and for the HM it makes this ole tree smile :-)

Congratulations to The Huntress and Melissa! You ladies rock my socks off with your awesome poetry! Congratulations to all the Hms as well... beautiful poetry!

Thank you Judges and Mods for all of your hard work!

Congrats to all the winners and hms

Congrats to all, beautiful poetry! <3

Congrats winners & HM's, great job as usual!

Well done to the 3 winners, and to the Hms.
xxxx

Good job judges. xx

The comments are added from another judge. One left.

Congrats winners

Two Foppers and Maples, fantastic to see,

well done HM's and thank you judge for my HM.

Congrats winners and hms!

Thank you judge for my hm.

Congrats to the winners and HMs. Wonderful cast of poems. :)

The final missing comments have been added.

WE NEED A SUB-JUDGE THIS WEEK-END.
WHO'S UP?

DON'T ANSWER HERE of course, PM a mod.

Congratulations Melissa, Cynnie & Andrea, I really enjoyed all three poems!