Weekly Contest 10/02/2014

Hey PnQers! Sorry about the delay, I have to post this from university and I haven't had access to a computer until now.

We had two judges out this week but managed to find one sub, so in total we had 4 judges. One of the other judges voted but has been extremely busy and promises to get their comments in asap. I'll add them once I receive them. The site also broke a tie between Revathy by Amreen & Insect by Kakera so a big congratulations to both of you! & of course a congratulations to our winners & HM's this week.

WINNERS:
Flesh by Karla 10+7+7= 24
On The Street by Vince Gullaci 4+7+10+4= 25
Revathy by Amreen 10
Insect by Kakera 10

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
The Lonely Lover by The Huntress 7
Perhaps by Everlasting 4 + 4

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COMMENTS:

Flesh by Karla

I can't express my love for this poem. I thought the way you wrote was extremely beautiful, your tone captured me and took me on a little journey. I found myself wondering who it was you were speaking of when you mentioned 'you' but then I began to think that perhaps you were speaking to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen and 'be brave' with you. Of course when you mentioned the idea of a mouth as a visual attack that empowers your body I began to question this assumption and started to find a romantic essence within this poem but I could be completely off with this, I tend to jump to conclusions. I think what most readers will take from this poem is the want to actually be brave with you, I did! I wanted to let go of my own ghosts. You portrayed some really beautiful imagery here, the idea of a watercolor spreading like blood in you was gorgeous and a fresh idea. (7)

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Your wording here is exquisite and meaningful. When I turn to your poetry, it's usually about something I would never sit down and think about unless told so. It's like you are suddenly asking someone to delve deeper and realize why we are what we are, creations part of the human race. While the "you" in this poem still remains a bit of mystery, you engage the reader in the second stanza with alluring imagery like how the design of this person's mouth empowers you "to be a body again." I feel passion in that - full and committed passion. That it is like living again, taking control of what you could not. Your next few lines hold longing and I feel these lines (almost read as lyrics to me) are sincere: "It is so tragic to know your ghosts". You know this person beyond what others may see. I like the confidence and hope of the ending. I do believe we all have demons to fight. They haunt us, reminding us of our imperfections. But those flaws make us who we are. "Let us be brave together" is so encouraging. It reminds me that this is call to all who have contemplated what we are made of, what we truly can do in our small lifetime.

I want to add that, while I have lots of work to do on my own poetry, your flow here reads very naturally and I like your line breaks. I know some poets, including myself, may have awkward line breaks that have a purpose, but aren't as connected as others. This reads smoothly and reassuringly to me. Wonderful piece! (10)

****

The Lonely Lover by The Huntress

This is emotionally gripping. Reading it, I feel an immediate wave of emotions wash over me. From helplessness to frustration at this "woman to wanting to protect her. There is this complete breakdown of her character and also how she may not be able to help her outbursts (whether they're of emotions or words she doesn't mean, etc). I sense this tenderness at the end of this write. I have sympathy for this woman and for the person holding her, her lover. For all the pain they are sharing or keeping inside. I was speaking with a friend earlier today and she relayed to me how she doesn't know what to say or do in a certain situation with someone she cares deeply for. There comes a certain point where you have to ask yourself, what can I physically do? Sometimes, you have to take a step back and realize it is that person that must take the first step themselves to self-respect, to loving themselves, etc. Very thoughtful poem. I like the way you layered this piece. From the simple truth in the opening line, to the examples of her home life, how she is sometimes a child still, seeking affection from possibly a broken home.... to creating and spinning different tales because she may not know what is real in her life. Good read. (7)

****

Insect by Kakera

This young and talented author has created a poem that truly made my mouth drop to the floor! Her impeccable word display was beautiful and flawy throughout this entire piece! There is nothing more frustrating and dark as the mind tricks that are played in our own minds, whether it be depression or an illness, that clock "tick tocks" louder than a freight train. Kakera has described that moment well within this poem. Her ending says it all... It touched me personally because I have felt many times in my life the very same way. She has a gift to mix and match her words so that the reader can feel and visualize each stanza. This is truly a brilliant poem!! (10)

****

On The Street by Vince Gullaci

I am not familiar with your work and am glad I could read this gem. What made me read multiple times and what truly struck me in this poem was your approach. I feel that you carefully crafted this poem and I admire that. Could this also be interpreted in different ways? Firstly, you reveal to the reader the one image of the roll out drawers filled with dreams, then what their action is: "to break the anonymity of death." I also notice after reading that you subtly challenge this reader. In a way, I feel like I need to re-evaulate my personal definition of death. Is it cold and lonesome? Or do those dreams continue on? You take something so blunt, the reality of those bodies with identification in the morgue, and you turn it into another idea that they are not that anonymous... Another way I look at this is through the personification of dreams. How dreams are created by being written down on paper, now they're rolled out into the streets, yet there's something missing- that spark. They're labeled correctly yet don't have that person's liveliness to dedicate themselves to that one dream. Noteworthy write, glad you shared this. (4)

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Always a fan of short poetry, and Vince did not disappoint me here with this brilliantly crafted poem "On The Street"! He packed a HUGE (message/messages) within this small poem. It made me think of a war torn country, facing the devastation of death, hunger, and horrific events and it even gave me the feeling of how depression itself can consume you, so I was taken by this poem with the many angles..The wording, and display was wonderful.. A gem of a poem here!! (7)

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I don't believe I have read any of your work before and I must say I'm mighty pleased that this poem was brought to my attention. I always find that I am most inspired by poetry that can say so much with so few words and this was one of those pieces that left me wanting to write. I found myself trying to find one definite meaning of this poem but I just couldn't, you wrote it in a way that leaves the reader wanting to find out more and I wish I could fish in your mind to find the answers I am seeking. While this poem has a very obvious interpretation in relation to death, I felt myself focusing mainly on the aspect where you mentioned dreams. I am not sure why I am so drawn to this but for me I kept thinking about unfulfilled dreams and the fact that most often in death people have not fulfilled every want, wish and desire. I believe the idea of anonymity is probably the most important clue to the poem and for me it links to the idea of an unclaimed person, or as I seemed to relate to more, the idea of an unclaimed dream. As usual I could be totally off but I think that the way you were able to make the reader intrigued by having more than one interpretation shows how your ability with words. A fantastic poem. (10)

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Perhaps by Everlasting

Everlasting made me cry with this one. She has a gift of word crafting that leaves me very emotional and I was in awe of this piece. Death is a natural part of life and yet a painful time in a persons life. I was amazed at how she captured that moment of looking at a loved one in a coffin- "your eyes will be two coffins in the cemetery" The angle I took is how explosive it can be to look and see a loved one in a coffin.. very painful. That is one angle I took with this poem and then I twisted my thoughts to possibly making a message to someone who has mistreated someone and how they might feel after others has passed on. It was yet another poem by this author that left me speechless! I love her play on words here.. just love this piece!! (4)

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Something about this poem made me sentimental, it's rare that I am emotionally driven to vote for a poem but it seems that with this one that you provoked some pretty strong emotions from me and those were nice feelings to have because it doesn't happen often when I read poetry on this site. I think what I liked about this poem was that it was relatable, not only to those who have experienced the death of a loved one but all those who actually fear the death of a loved one. I enjoyed the idea of praying for the two souls who didn't make it home, in the beginning I was wondering who that person was that you were speaking about and then it became obvious to me that you were praying for your own soul because you would feel at loss without the person you speak of. I really enjoyed this poem and I think the imagery, while common in relation to death was very beautiful.

Thanks so much judges for your lovely comments on my poem. I'm honoured.I guess it is my most honest poem. It is about love, passion and the capacity of rebirth. It may sound a cliche but love is still the answer.
Congrats eveyone!

Congrats to all of y'all. :)

Congratulations winners!

and thank you to the judges for those comments, much appreciate it.

Nice job, congrats winners & HM's!

I'm very touched, and quite honoured. Thank you, and congratulations all of y'all!

Well done all involved :)

Congrats to the Winners & HMs as well! Thank you judges for selecting my work to display on the front page & mods for their great support!

:)