Weekly Contest Winners 24 Feb 2014

This week had three judges and the computer broke a three-way-tie for second and third places.

We are down to two regular judges, folks. Please let us know if you'd like to volunteer. We have one judge who has done so & we hope to start them next week.

One Night Sin by Acoustic Odyssey 7+7+4 = 18 points
The transparencies of white by Karla 10 points
What lies within by Maher 10 points

No Factory Default by Meme 10 points
Home by by Biancas Veil 4+4 points
Thirty six righteous men by Darren 7 points

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One Night Sin by Acoustic Odyssey 7
Oh the dance of sin. How tempting and vivacious she can be. The excitement that takes over every inch of your body until the morning walk of shame comes.
I really love how this poem reflects the "naughty" in all of us without being down right crude and explicit.
I enjoy the little tease this poem holds as well as the dark side.
The writer done an excellent job with the metaphors while commanding the reader throughout the whole poem.
The way that each stanza begins with a command emphasizes that it is truly the writer who is in control of the situation.
I must say that the last line "hate me" was the cherry that topped it off! Oh how many times have we enjoyed our night of sin just to hate the next day.
Very well penned!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Night Sin by: Acoustic Odyssey 4
I haven't read a dark poem in awhile and I loved how your voice was authoritative, dark, and so persuasive. You held nothing back. I think many can relate to the reality of demons, temptations, sins (whatever you may call them) that tag along us. We may feel we are too weak so we indulge in them... or we are simply curious to go against what is defined as "right" or "moral". The imagery here was powerful and vivid especially with this "to guide your steps only to the most delicate landmines". The only line I wasn't fond of was: "the emptiest metaphor dipped promises"... I felt it was too verbose. Metaphor and promise didn't seem to go together here since you are already saying an empty promise. Good inclusion of "talons" here yet keeping your "mask" of what kind of monster you are. It actually made me think of humanity as a criminal, and trying to force others to be taken away from reality. I also liked your ending and how you played with emotions. Indeed, we have constant regrets and that is due to consequences we seem to brush off. That last line toyed with your emotions and expressed this twisted, love-hate relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Night Sin by Acoustic Odyssey 7
Dark romance at it's finest in this poem!! I read it the first and second time with my mouth open!! Speechless came to mind..
It's difficult to pull off a romantic dark poem... it takes the right wording and needs an enchanting rhythm ... this poem is magical and a true delight!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Transparencies of White by Karla (10)
This was such an intriguing piece because as the reader, I felt a wave of confliction. The opening stanza where you openly state that you love but don't love made me realize how much of our lives can be a contradiction. Through our words and outward appearance, we can seem calm, humble, loving. But on the inside, our pride could be present or other feelings we try to bury. I'm not sure if you do this with all of your poems, but I quite liked how you chose not to capitalize "I". I've done this before and read other pieces where this was the case. I feel it stresses how we are all made of parts we may hate and love, at the same time. That we are deciphering what we mean. How we can be true one moment and disingenuous the next. This line drew me in especially: "we fake what we actually feel. We feel what we do fake". I think this is because we try to plan out emotions, so we pretend to experience happiness when society may call for it, but we don't personally believe it. This line had such a spark to it: "don't blame the stars for the poems i conceive." Loved that line and the ending where you come to closer terms that you aren't always truthful. That sometimes you let madness and that the unknown is a part of you, as you create wonders with those symbols and metaphors, and try to figure it out for yourself. Neat piece!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What Lies Within by Maher 10
Elegance is the first word that describes this piece, true Elegance!
The flow and rhythm amazes me from start to finish, well written and powerfully explosive.
The message of how the world is in a chaos of decay is felt throughout. The wording structure is divine!!
Every sentence, every word is loved by me in this piece, but this one hit me the most-
"Stick figures in cloth troll the streets all but bare"
Society does look like stick figures in cloth... just love , love, love the wording and details of visuals in this poem!!
Well written!!! and just Beautiful!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No Factory Default by Meme 10 points
The title alone grabbed my attention and I was just totally sucked into this poem from the first line.
-------------------------
Fogy roads stretched to mark
the distances that were crossed,
but deep within it all prevailed toshowcase the abjectness of sins
^^^
I am left wondering what sin? Was there a form of adultery or a disturbing lie? Maybe a crime of passion? This verse paints such a vivid bleakness that many writers have a difficult time capturing.
-----------------------------
So where are the lines that should define
the meaning of the place where we stand?
And how far could one stretch his step for
it to be dismissed as a way of going back?
^^^^^^^
The shady grey area here.... Again, what a wonderful way to set up the scene and leaving the reader to anticipate the next step.
-------------------------
The point of no return is reached
when bounds of sanity are unleashed.
and there is always someone deceived
when there is an agenda to be achieved
^^^^^^^^^
Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive! This is so true on many levels and the harsh reality is that when we set the agenda to please ourselves then many will be deceived and hurt from our actions.
----------------------
Count the roads before you walk
because life doesn't offer you a
button to reset..
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If only we could have a reset button. So many times we fail to look at the price we must pay and the pain that others will suffer because of our own foolishness.
-----------
Overall, I thought that this particular piece conveyed a strong message that needs to be shouted from the rooftops.

I often tell my children to let their conscious be their guide and yet sometimes I forget how easy it is to ignore our conscious and to be left with regret.
Excellent job!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home by Biancas Veil 4
Forest is home... Very True!
The wording is simplistic and majestic, just how I think a nature poem should be. Just a lovely nature poem from start to finish!!!

This poem has a creative style mixed with a short, but sweetness to it, which is why it stands out in my eyes this week, just beautiful!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home by Biancas Veil 4 points
This poem is so soothing. It may be short, but it sure speaks loudly. As I read through it I was just drawn back to the lake. My second home where nothing could be wrong. A place to embrace peace and joy. To let go of the world and know that all is perfect.
Counting the stars under the moonlight once again as I had done so many times before. Sitting at the edge of the water watching nature take her beauty beneath the midnight skies.
Toes in the water, ass in the sand... Oh, to go home once again.
I truly love the memories this poem brings back to my mind and I know that we all have our own little home away from home that we often wish we could escape to.
Such a great job penning a gorgeous and vivid image.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thirty six righteous men. By: Darren (7)
What really stood out to me here is the mystery of life itself and how you provoked thought about all the souls on earth that clash, that may not be lifted up. It made me think of Darwin's survival of the fittest theory or even the idea of predestination, where some believe our worth is determined before our birth. I enjoyed the mystic atmosphere (or perhaps spiritual?) journey you take with your mind, finding tranquility as life continues on. I liked the concept of confusion being dressed up, like it a figure that visits us at different stages of our lives, degrading us and questioning how we may choose to live. The build-up was wonderful here, how you are on the mountain top and now shouting with conviction if there is another earth. Among all the chaos of man against man and good against bad, you ponder that life where you may be able to roam freely, without confusion following you. The ending gave me chills! I was not sure who the "you" was, possibly a companion, but that you are doomed to face reality now. That this wisdom and truth you seek to understand has been banished from you, it is too powerful for you to witness. Another aspect of this poem that surprised me was the lack of punctuation (although there were commas and periods), but I think it worked well in your favor because it almost seemed more prophetic, that you are not holding back meaning with punctuation, but letting the reader experience what you do.
Thought-provoking piece, well-done!

Congrats all.

Congrats winners and thanks for the HM, much appreciated.

Thank you judge. Congrats everyone!Congrats HM's!

Many thanks judges for all the wonderful feedback, much appreciated.

Congrats all!!!