Realization

Um well nearly a year ago I lost the woman who made me truly smile I lost it after she died I um I think I lost part of my soul...I wanted to die I almost did and um at the very almost near death I realized I didn't want to die that I wanted to be better that what I was doing I prayed to God even though at that point in my life I wasn't as very religious as I am now lol I was an atheist if you can believe that well anyhow I did change I got new clothes all my mournful dresses, shoes, etc I will use for job interviews and such because it's well that type of clothing sad but professional I got new shoes new everything to with me accounts,, Facebook, poetry abilities, I can't seem to write a love poem yet because my heart can't muster up the beauty in making a love poem yet but hopefully I will be able in the future ANYWAYS lol the realization I got today is that my ex girl's ex I was really mad at him he was part of many that took my girl's life I know I can't blame it on anyone considering she took her own life I wasn't the only one hurt but I was the one that cried the most to this day I still wish it was me that died so she could've stayed here she could've healed but today I realized the ex has moved on and so have I I'm dating a new girl she's sweet she's lovely and I shouldn't compare her to my ex love because she was probably my true love lol I'm crying as I write this but I'm just realizing I let go and I have to let go of all the pain that went nearly a year ago...anyways if you read this thank you :)

-Onyxx

There is always a part of us that will always love our first true love no matter what. You cant change the past and predict the future thats why you have to live now. And its good to see you are making the small changes in your life. That's what matters. You should work on you. As far as the new girl that's amazing too. Don't focus on your love but focus on thenew girl and you. :)

Thank you :) i will try :)

That's all you can do

Thanks friend :) and I will try :) also gf scared the daylights outta me she told me I love you O.o

Well people feel love differently at different times. Some people it takes years and others it may take days or weeks

Ummm well thing is it took me months to fall for my exgrirlfriend but I actually took the time to know her my current girlfriend says "I love you" too darn fast in the relationship and I wanna RUN away -_- not heroic but hell I'm scared darnit -__-

Well feelings always come and go. If you don't like her then don't. But always always be honest with her no matter what

I am honest I put that in my profile that Onyx isn't my real name but that I prefer it lol :) also God I have run away from too many darn relationships like not even a darn week did they last :(