Weekly Contest, 17 March 2014 [St. Patrick's blessings on ye]

This week we had 3 clear winners from four judges. I would have posted it last night but was assured by the fifth judge of votes & comments and they easily could have altered the outcome.

The winning themes this week are mixed, but generally are positive: Kakera's exuberant celebration of her future - way distant! - funeral (I'd want to be at my own funeral if it comes down in the way she calls for it); my own finding of child-like surprise at unexpected beauty; and Huntress's work which I admit left me momentarily nonplussed until my third read-through. Now I can honestly say I award her the "Young-Bob-Dylan" inscrutability award.

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My Last Will & Testament by Kakera 10 + 10 = 20 points
Mount Hakone (senryu) by Larry Chamberlin 7 + 4 + 4 = 15 points
Erraticism by The Huntress 10 + 4 = 14 points

Ageless by Satish Verma 10 points
Roots by Crimson monster shackled and chained 7 points
Leaving you by The Huntress 7 points
I'm Tired, Mother by Everlasting 7 points
Salem, Jack and other stuff by maple tree 4 points

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My Last Will & Testament by Kakera
When I read the title, my first instinct was, this is going to be heart wrenching and sad. As I began to read on further, my heart was uplifted and an overwhelming sense of emotion was felt.
This poem was breathtakingly beautiful! The message is so powerful and explosive.
The unique word usage the author chose for this piece just blew me away. It was elegant and the magical as well, very unique piece.
The simplistic tones as well just shines through and flows throughout.
The message of a Japanese Cherry tree and origami love is very creative and elegant. This piece is a message of celebration and love, and just a lovely , lovely poem by Kakera (10)

My Last Will & Testament by Kakera 10 points
Such an emotional piece first of all. Yet by the end you do not feel sad just reflective. It really is a mood setting poem. I love the repetition of 'when I die' has a real eventuality feel to it but also shows that this person has already come to terms with this. Perhaps they will live their life to the absolute fullest because of this. There is some really nice imagery in this. The stand out for me being the image of the origami cranes. I also love the upbeat feel of the dress code. The poem is written in a simple way but is very dreamy, there isn't an ounce of trying to be clever just some nice images knitted with a good flow and a positive final stanza. Worthy of 10 points this week.

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Mount Hakone (senryu) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
I'm happy to have come across this poem. This is a great example of how a senyru should be written. It has a phrase followed by a fragment which in turn adds up to the scene. All in all, the writer did a great job at capturing the old man's spirit in this senryu as well as to show that no matter the age, we all can still be surprised/amazed by anything. Also that there's a lot in nature that we can learn from. Though, there's more depth in this piece that anyone who reads it can gather according to their experiences and thoughts. Well done. ( 7 points )

Mount Hakone (senryu) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
Larry has a true gift with the senryu form! I really admire his talent with expressing beauty in such a small form.
Many angles I can take with this piece. The child like excitement within the mans eyes, spotting the beauty of nature within the mist of the mountain and still the breathtaking beauty of the nature scene itself.
Very powerful and well written Senryu by Larry (4)

Mount Hakone (senryu) by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather
I'm guilty of not reading haikus or senryus too often, and often passing them by without a care. This one made me appreciate nature and the soul as well. I liked your reflection that this view is not simply part of creation, but part of your childhood. I did search some images which were beautiful, and read that Lake Ashi is a crater lake along the Mount Hakone volcano. What captured my heart in this piece was that I felt your presence and your enthusiasm. Like the bright, wide eyes of a child meets the wisdom and sacred ground of nature, of self-reflection and the spirituality of winter. Wonderful thought and care in this senryu. (4)

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Erraticism by The Huntress (10)
This was such an enthralling piece that took my breath away, which hasn't happened in a while and left me pleasantly surprised. The emotion had purity in this if that makes sense. That we as humans can be erratic, devious, and inconstant in what we do. That's what may make us human and that's alright to not be able to always explain our thoughts or name our actions. The opening image made me think of something to be mourned, then frustration at being enslaved, not having the strength or direction to lead your life. What I also noticed upon reading again is your structure and placement of words. Near the middle lines, there is little punctuation, mostly commas that keep the reader rushing to the next thought, on and on, almost hungry for what's next. And as I read, I felt you becoming more impulsive, more dramatic in wanting to expose who you are, cast away those beasts beneath your skin. The contradictions were amazing near the end, as it both confused and made me nod my head. Like you want to be what's wrong and what's right. Not just a simple solution or simple explanation, but deeper into what makes you think and act like you do. The sound effects were neat with the "clatter, clatter".... it made me hear that sharp sound of teeth clattering, whether from nervousness or anxiety or something else. I also liked the subtleness of the end, how it wasn't a grand ending but a soft plea in a way. That you are uncertain and possibly wayward but that you need someone to be stable, to give a kiss to soothe. Intriguing write.

Erraticism by The Huntress
Erraticism - I had to look that word up in the dictionary which means unpredictable. I think is suitable to the content of the poem as the poem seems to not have a pattern. What actually grabbed my attention was the voice in the poem and the images and thoughts that developed one after the other. My interpretation of this piece is that of someone who fears to make mistakes. I felt overwhelmed to the point that I wanted to go hug that girl. It's just that this poem gives the impression that someone did not allow the narrator to make errors and that the narrator dislikes perfection but was force to look for perfection. Overall, the mood that I feel from this poem is that of someone who feels that she has a lot of responsibilities and that she is not allow to make not even a mistake. A lot of pressure and tension must be accumulated. Though I think what she truly wants is for that someone who she was writing this piece for, to tell her that everything will be alright even if she were to fall or make a mistake; that the pain that she feels or were to feel will be or is similar as if she bruised her knees, the pain will disappeared or at least that it will be bearable with a kiss. In other words, she wants what everyone else want - affection and someone to understand her. ( at least from my interpretation) Take care. (4 points )

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Ageless by Satish Verma
Ageless are the constant wars we have, aren't they? This was an interesting poem.
I guess the word "interesting" is too cliche to describe it, but I am not sure what to say. There's a lot too think about. This poem has vivid images and there are certain lines that are packed with a punch straight to the mind. They just hit the thoughts until I have nothing more to think about. I mean everything comes down to exactly the same, wars. There seems to be no hope, no peace. This particular line caught my attention: "Who will climb the cross today?" <-- I wonder what this question means? something like -- who will carry the cross today?
Overall, this poem's topic is ageless - sadly. I enjoyed reading it but I also enjoyed that I was taken into the poem, into the images and that I can come up with my own thoughts.
My favorite lines because those lines had an effect on me: "Civil war was starting again." "Painfully I was collecting sounds." Well done. ( 10 points )

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Leaving you by The Huntress
What a beautiful poem this is by the Huntress!
It's a touching and sad, heartfelt piece about letting go and moving on, wrapped with a unique twist on the emotions of leaving.
The descriptive word usage is absolutely divine. Love the metaphor of the shower.
This poem leaves me speechless.
Small poetry at it's finest! (7)

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I'm Tired, Mother by Everlasting (7)
The first word that came to my mind after reading this was: memorable. After reading a few times, I could remember from simply looking at the title this unsurpassable amount of sadness from this child. It's an honest, almost conversational write that has depth in such a simple image. My mom actually works as a recess aid with young kids and has to be observant, especially if a child comes up to her and says something is bothering her. This made me think of a child-like reaction. Of that boiling anger. Of bullies. But it is much deeper than a bully saying mean words, it's the injustice of it, as you point out. How one can be so demeaning toward's another humanity. I loved the imagery here and how the emotion took on those shapes and colors, like the city having to be evacuated. It's this build-up to something that was never solved and dealt with, and finally it destroys the city and its people. I liked the repetition and serious tone near the end that convinces me how it's not a child needing consolation in that moment, it's a deeper issue, something that tires this child for days on end. Something that haunts others. I'm not entirely clear what the specific injustice is, or if the reader is supposed to analyze what it could mean but it does seem like it could fit into causes of bullying or abuse. Well-written and provoking.

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Roots by Crimson monster shackled and chained 7 points
I am a sucker for a simple rhyming poem. Amongst the diary entry offerings and the shouty OTT word deluge pieces we sometimes find a real poem. Yes each line is capitalized and there is an influx of punctuation but that doesn't take away from how this feels when you read aloud to yourself. There is no confusing imagery that only works in the mind of the author. In fact there isn't much here that is new, but it all works well and is a simple lesson on how poetry can be written effortlessly. Worthy of 7 points.

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Salem, Jack and other stuff by maple tree - 4 points
What Andrea does well here is to disguise how clever this poem really is by pretending that it is a 'what the hell ' spit and post. It is nothing of the sort. If this poem was a painting we would be dragged through the canvas and be able to feast upon the imagery contained. When reading this we find ourselves smack bang in the authors head as she tells us her tale. The first line is very apt because reading this we all become lost in her memories. This is a great example of a poem that takes us through decades of somebody life in a very clever write. Well done. 4 points.

Great job judges and Larry. The poems were great this week. Well done to the writers

Beautiful Poetry this week!!!!! Congratulations to everyone!

Thank you very much to the judge that honored me with an Hm.. *smiles*

Wow! Thank you so much for the win, and the extremely kind words in your comments to the poem! I'm amazingly happy right now, thank you so much!!!

And as a response the second comment from the judge, I'd could just come forward and say to everyone who is interested that I have indeed accepted it, and the poem that I wrote is the most honest poem I've ever written. <3 <3 <3

Congrats everyone, all beautiful poetry this week! <3

I am remiss in thanking the three judges for selecting my own poem, but more importantly, for their insightful comments.

Congrats Winners & HMs :)

Thanks Judges & the Mods !!

Congrats all

Congrats winners & HM's!

Thank you for my Hm!

yeah, it is in relation to bullying. When I wrote that piece I was thinking of a child during recess, who got tired of watching bullies bullied other kids. I didn't make that too clear but my intention was to show that this kid feared himself, and wanted injustices to end because if he saw another one happen, he would step forward with no regrets. Meaning he would intervene to stop the bullies... and who knows what could happen next if he intervenes. So he goes to his mom and tells her, please turn the candles on and pray.

Congrats winners!