Money

I have a question for the poor, the rich, and the intermediary.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard the generalization, "more money, more problems."
Do any of you agree with this statement?

Sure, there are several problems associated with money. Higher taxes, higher utility bills, higher insurance... Boo-hoo, what a sob story. Also, your relational problems don't suddenly disappear with money, though the stress of having to pay the bills might disappear, which could improve your mood, consequently, your relationships. If you have a crap load of money, people might seem to want to be your friend all of the sudden. Boo-hoo again. Seriously? That's one of your primary struggles? I'm broke and people still try to take advantage of me regularly.

This is the poorest I have ever been, and it's extremely stressful. My boyfriend is even poorer, and it makes every day seem like a battle against the world. He had to replace all 4 tires on his car recently, the spark plug, the belt, etc... and it's cost him more money than he's making. I'm not sure how he's going to pay rent next month, let alone the bills. I wish I had money to make his life easier, as well as mine. We could really use a break to focus on more important things... like our happiness.
He works 40 hours a week, and has a double bachelor degree from a prestigious school. He'd be doing better if he skipped school, saved tuition and put it toward opening his own business. You have to have money to make it. Capitalism is horribly flawed, and school is a crock, but I'll end this here.

Blahhhhh. Give me your money :)

I'm by no means rich but I am comfortable.

I remember when I was your age my wife & I lived in New Orleans & chose not to own a car. There were times when we'd go to Burger King & had to choose whether to buy french fries with our meal or take the street car home.

Hang in there, the struggle doesn't get easier but it gets easier to overcome.

After a certain point, money does loose its motivational effect, but until basic needs are met, it will always be powerful.

New Orleans!

Thanks for the words of support. It sounds like you and your wife were living the way my boyfriend and I are living these days, and the way my parents lived when they were a young couple in NYC. I was excited that I could afford cheese, bread, and tomato soup last week and we lived on grilled cheese for several days...

I want to hear more about New Orleans. Funny you mentioned it because the guy and I are talking about moving there. Very cheap cost of living. High crime though. Can you tell me about your experience?

I could write volumes!
That was in the 70s & my first wife. & I were young, just out of college & ready for party city!
During that period the city was flowing with alcohol, weed & other stuff. Beginning at Halloween & running through St Patricks the town was a continuous celebration: one high event after another. You'd drop in at a flash party in the Quarter & suddenly 60 or more people would be there, including politicians & football players.
Crawfish & oysters rule the city but every greasy spoon hole in the wall served 4 star food. Tyler's on Tuesdays had one of the Neville brothers & 10 cent oysters. Casadomingoes had a shrimp&oyster loaf you'd mug for. Aceys pool hall had an amazing open faced roast beef sandwich, sloppy, with smashed potatoes on the side.
You could walk from the Tulane campus through Audubon Park to the Batture at the Mississippi River & watch huge cargo ships plow through along with tiny out boarders.
That was our first time, from 1972 until 1980.

We moved back in 1985 when I finally decided to get to law. Wound up at Tulane still, but now it was on my ticket.
We had a child also by then. Suddenly the party times seemed like ancient history. Crime was rampant. Maybe having a 5-year old made me notice more. Those 3 years were also when the marriage began its final act; it made me realize how much your own life situation affects how you perceive your environment.

Money can buy power, but it can't buy respect
Money can't buy sleep, but it can buy a bed
Money can't buy you love, but it can buy sex
Do you posses money or by money are you possessed?
Money can buy a house, but it can't buy a home
So even with money you still feel all alone
Money can buy you friends, but it can't buy family
Money can't make you happy, that's just a fallacy
It can buy a bath, but it can't buy purity
It can buy bodyguards, but it can't buy security
While people around the world starve, I eat
Cause money can buy war, but it can't buy peace
Some do everything and anything to get the p's
The society we livin' in, it's a necessity
It's got the power to turn your best friends to enemies
It's funny cause money doesn't follow us when we leave.

Does happiness live in a mansion with a swimming pool?
I know people with plenty of money that are miserable
We all need to earn in this world we live
Most work for it, some steal, but many worship it
Some sell poison for it, some seek employment for it
We need it to survive, so some clean the toilets for it
I need papes to live but never will I live for papes
Abolish the Queen, I don't wanna see that witch's face
Many sell their soul for it, no not me
Some will try to tell you that it doesn't grow on trees
I heard the sayin' said, many a time, but they were wrong
Cause if it doesn't tell me where do you get the paper from?
Most think they will be happy if they only had more of it
Some wasted, some feel more important because they're born with it
Some have got the nerve to say you're fraudulent for forging it
The truth is you don't need a fortune to be fortunate.

now I hope that puts a smile on yur face jane
has a lot of true meaning into it

This is perhaps the best time to be poor; then when you become wealthy you would appreciate, also remember and become charitable to those who are in the lower level and most importantly experience the existence in full, the whole circle.

Haha to be in the safe side, meanwhile, I keep you guys in my prayers.

Larry, I feel like you could write a really interesting memoir about New Orleans! Or a detective novel I would read it.

I have to agree with you, Jane. I don't think being rich necessarily makes you happier, but I certainly think having ENOUGH makes contentment a whole lot easier to attain.

I'm in a weird place right now, money wise. On the surface, for America, I'm fairly poor. On a good month, I make just about enough to pay rent and recurring bills. Grocery funds and other incidentals come out of the extra $50 I make on top of that, or else out of a dwindling savings, or else on the credit card (blegh). On the other hand, I'm a white girl from an educated middle class family with a bachelor's degree, and I'll have a master's in 2 months. As long as I can find a job in my field fairly soon, I know I WILL be okay. So, I can't afford shoes, but I have lots of social and financial mobility based purely on who I am. There are systems in place that are predisposed to help people like me. Privilege. Plus I've got parents as a safety net, if it came to that. I'm very rich-poor.

I've been reading a book lately that's had be thinking about wealth a lot. (The Great Cat Massacre, if anyone is interested. You can skip the chapter on massacring cats, if you want.) But I've just been thinking about how, for the vast majority of people, for the vast majority of human history... they were (and are) poor as dirt, you know? I feel like we sometimes romanticize poverty. "Oh, they're just living a simpler life, I bet they're content without all the trappings of wealth!" But there's poor like me, where I can't afford fresh fruit, but still have a warm house, clean water, and health. And then there's poor, as in "Half of my children will die, I can't afford bread." People whose crops determine whether they will die, starving and destitute, this year, or next year. So yeah. I think money can make you happier. More money, different problems. But far fewer problems.

"He had to replace all 4 tires on his car recently, the spark plug, the belt, etc... and it's cost him more money than he's making."

"He works 40 hours a week, and has a double bachelor degree from a prestigious school."

Gees thats sucks! Hopefully he can change work and start making real $$$ or otherwise happiness will be gone for good in your relationship.

"Capitalism is horribly flawed,"

Nah! Capitalism is for the fittest!!! The weak will disappear...
People seems to blame the system for their short comings and yet the flaw lays in their choices they made....

So being born into a family who cannot afford to feed you is your own bad choice?

Sybs, I understand your predicament. On the one hand things are bad, may even lead to bankruptcy if you're not careful; but your race-education-beauty-familial safety net almost assures you of future success.
I too struggled with the guilt of entitlement. The only real solution is to make the most of it you can & pay it forward to those not so entitled while working to level the playing field so that arbitrary (and discriminatory) factors are eliminated.

Money for me has always been up and down..

Life changes and struggles can play a part in financial ups and downs. Both my husband and I had good jobs when we got married. We paid our bills and and enjoyed a night out for dinner once in a while.. I've always led the simplistic life.. hippy gal here, so as long as I had the bills paid and food on the table I was content.

When my husband was diagnosed with Cancer 3 months after our marriage, he was forced to stay at home and still is unable to work. His disability struggle is still in the courts ( takes a long time for that to kick in ) so I work.. and we get the bills paid and barely enough to purchase a candy bar afterwards, but we make due. Life is far richer for me with the man I love and each day is a blessing, even with bologna sandwiches.

The topic is enlightening.
The inner strength and power within to survive and beat the odds will be the one to take one through gloomy days.
I grew up, maximizing my student life potential, no desire to have a girlfriend or relationship until mid 20's....driven perhaps by society norms where I grew up and my goals to stay on track and be successful in life. No real money to put away for a rainy day until almost mid 30's, but then, enjoyed every moment of growing up...of life as it unfolded. Parents supported me until I came here in my mid-20's, so my basic needs were met. And when I did finally earn enough money to take care of my family needs, I realized it still did not matter any more.
Student and early life here in US is tough, even tougher if you go to school and have loans, and don't make enough money to pay bills, but when you look beyond the immediate hurdles, most people can make it. Just hang on and dream on for a successful career and life. Don't ever give up or succumb to negativity in life. There are always the less fortunate around us to remind us that we still have the power within to succeed.

Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it allows you to live your misery with luxury. (Ahlam Mostaghanemi)

Haha I like that. It is absolutely true: It sugar codes the misery. But of course if luxury is all you are looking in life. But I know of people who live simple and use money to widen their horizon. by going to expensive universities, buying piano, giving music lesson to their children, helping others, exploring the world by traveling, by freeing their feet from the chain of bills , by working wisely not desperately for necessities, by allowing themselves to take their head out of their troughs. By doing things that an average man can not do, though in their nature, are not a luxury.

"Nah! Capitalism is for the fittest!!! The weak will disappear...
People seems to blame the system for their short comings and yet the flaw lays in their choices they made...."

I think capitalism was based on an ideal that every person would be born with equal means, therefore, equal opportunity to advance, plateau, or lose everything. Unfortunately, the amount of money you're born into will most likely determine your success. Having all the benefits of the male gender and white "race" can't hurt.

Sibby, I also have my parents to fall back on, and that's an extreme weight lifted. Dad is trying to retire though, which means they're selling the house and making cuts. I'm going to need to support myself in full very soon, and it's terrifying. Not just rent, gas, pge, internet, but car insurance, health insurance, phone bill... How am I going to make all that money with a bachelors in psychology?! As it is, I'm digging into savings from old jobs and living off a modest allowance. It's enough to pay for groceries, toiletries, and the bills, but not much else. My savings is disappearing rapidly and there will be nothing in it within a couple months. Time to send out graduation letters! Money!

I think I should explain that I'm a huge bargain hunter, and recycle/thrift junkie, so it's not like I'm suggesting diamonds and a fancy car would make me happy. I have no desire for such things. Enough money to take a road trip, or a trip to NYC to visit my sister, or some money to spend on Kevin's tired old van to get it working properly- that would be enough to make me happy. Enough to put into savings would be nice too. I'd like to start planning for the future.

I'm exhausted thinking about money all the time; about how I need it, and how I don't have it. It's giving me wrinkles, bah.

Currently job hunting. I should have time to work during my last quarter of school because it's only 4, reasonably easy classes.

Updates soon ;)

Now, now...this is no time to be shaken up Ms. Confidence and Ms. Congeniality, 2 popular mods that are adored here on PnQ for their public speaking qualities.
I don't think I have to guess too much which one is an alpha and which one is a beta female?
But, I would be totally amazed if both do not find success eventually in their professional/work life.
True to the alpha nature, the alpha may have obstacles on the way. :) The beta would always be a smooth sailor :)
Good luck to both. I don't believe I was ever an alpha or a beta, but did find success and happiness very early in life, just by perseveration and have a lot to thank my parents for supporting me till I found my 2 feet (very early in life, even before I was 23). But, it is never too late for anyone to go for their goals. I have had Professional colleagues who seemed to have a second wind very late in their life, and that made their career eventually.

One thing to remember, money seems a hurdle at times, but once that hurdle is crossed somehow, and a relationship does not bring one down, you have launched yourself on your success pad.

"I don't think I have to guess too much which one is an alpha and which one is a beta female?"

Good thing there are only two kinds of females! That might have gotten confusing!

Did I offend someone that easy? Hope that does'nt happen too often to the mature, understanding personality types.
Alpha and beta are both extremely successful, similar in many aspects, and the most desirable types, according to the CPI inventory, just slightly different from each other.
I think you may have read the laymen-designed fun quizzes which twist these types to make it fun for the date circles.
And yes, the alpha and beta types are way more independent and stable, more desirable than the theta and delta. And it is not a gender pick, either, just in case this was interpreted as a sexist comment. Applies equally to the males.
Here is a brief overview of the alpha, beta, gamma and delta's-
Alpha personality types are more enterprising, dependable and outgoing. Betas are reserved, responsible and moderate. Gammas are adventurous, restless, and pleasure-seeking. Finally, Deltas are withdrawn, private, and to some extent disaffected.

Again, I believe the DISC and the MBTI are the more detailed, recent and reliable inventories used by the Professionals. I am not a Psychologist, but find these dichotomy of personality types to be interesting and sometimes use them to figure out interesting people in real life :) Never to ridicule.