Weekly Contest Results, 31 March 2014

This week is graced by a trio of muses tackling deep subjects and doing it well. Luce's Ode to the creative process, Meme's sublime interaction with an old man and Andrea's reconciliation to her place in the cycle of life all prove that P&Q has genius members who are not afraid of baring their souls. Well done ladies.

The Feeder of our Souls by Everlasting 10 + 10 + 4 = 24 points
Ash tray by Meme 10 + 7 + 7 = 24 points
Lady Of Moss (Shakespearean sonnet) by Maple Tree 10 + 7 = 17 points

Honorable Mentions:
Wordless by Hannah Lizette 10 + 4 = 14 points
I'll too be alive (Shakespearean sonnet) by Everlasting 7 points
The Frame by RealMeaning 7 points
Longing for Night by avery 4 points
On The Contrary (...) by Far Out Dame 4 points
The Well by Poet on the Piano 4 points

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The Feeder of our Souls by: Everlasting 10 points
This was not what I was expecting when I first read the opening lines where you addressed poetry. It's such a different, more brooding tone to acknowledge poetry as giving life yet taking it at the same time. Throughout this poem, you had this hook. This gripping reality that poetry has a dark side, a depth humans cannot control. Almost like poetry has the ability to manipulate us by outliving us when we cannot stand on our own. It somehow feeds off our emotions and knows what to say, even when we don't want it to. I love how direct your voice is to poetry, how it is intimate yet austere in that poetry can take your energy, how it is eternal, far beyond a tangible, man-made creation. An enthralling write!

The Feeder of our Souls by Everlasting 10 points
Luce has me speechless this week! WOW, just WOW!
I am a sucker for poems about poetry, but this poem here takes the meaning of poetry and writing and goes in depth of just how much poetry and writing can affect a person.
Luce's creative and unique angle of writing takes you on a blood and guts journey of poetry. Nagging and feeding on the soul of the writer, just awesome! I can't give this poem enough praise- Its just magical in my opinion!

The Feeder of our Souls by Everlasting 4 points
Poems about the craft itself are not new, but this one is well done. It speaks from the heart and expresses the depth of interdependence the poet shares with the creative process. It may not be God, but it lives forever beyond her ken, it tears its meaning from her in force and abandons her when done, only to return again when her creative spirit reawakens.

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Ash tray by Meme 10 points
The human condition, pared to the nub: ashes as proof of life, yet knowing ashes-to-ashes is inevitable and even near. This poem says much more about the author than the man who is the subject. It is her reaction to him that shines through: her repulsion at his ancient aspect yet protective concern for his continued well being. This lady cares about him yet fears him. Is it her own sense of mortality? She hopes to live a long full life, yet the thought of ending up like him scares her. At any rate, the work so lovingly depicts the man and the girl that if they were both in the same crowded room I'd pick them out in an instant - he'd be the one staring into infinity and she'd be the one knowing his gaze, but fixed on his presence.

Ash tray by: Meme 7 points
You set the tone of this piece so well, drawing me into that sadness and realizing the hollowness when you realize this person is gone. I do have one main suggestion about adding a few commas, like in the first stanza at least having one for the natural pause after "door" for example. In the second stanza, I also think a comma could be added. I'm not too familiar with your style or if you try to keep punctuation minimal, this is just my opinion. I like the initial image of the ash tray and the "forbidden act" of smoking. It takes a toll on him, and "inside these walls" is perhaps in your presence? I feel such tangible loneliness in the third stanza, especially on how he can have a melody of loneliness that may echo around him. So even without seeing him, you know his presence, it's gloomy and depressing, barely thriving. Powerful ending of "dying alive", that causes me think of being burned alive, where you experience pain and do not die immediately. I like the mystery of passing by his door. He could be your neighbor or companion, that you recognize him each day yet have noticed how time wears him out. How soon there will be no ashes.... a dismal piece indeed.

Ash tray by Meme 7 points
What a heart grabbing poem this is!
Meme has elegantly written a poem about love, and loss. Her metaphoric design along with a simplistic tone paints a visual picture in my head. I can see the man standing on the balcony, staring into space, smoking.
The message I get is possibly an out cast perhaps and the secret fondness of the author to this person. The worry of losing this person and also a hidden message of how much this person means to the author. I am not really good at picking poems apart and normally I don't, however this poem touched me so deeply that I had to express how much this poem meant to me.
Powerfully written, with a flow that was delightful to read.

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Lady Of Moss (Shakespearean sonnet) by Maple Tree 10 points
To take on a sonnet is an achievement all on its own, Once I read through this once I knew I was going to score this, just had to pick where to place it. I love the whole nature theme of this and I believe that the writer of this piece does also. Every little scene is perfectly painted and the imagery of each line is crammed well despite the syllable restrictions. Some of the stand out lines are line three. This line says so much for me and it is nice to be able to relate to a poem in this way. The best line though has to be "stalking rainbows becomes a hopeful sin"
So true and makes me think of how we all dream of something better, it is the clock that keeps us all ticking over. We all have some reference in our daily lives that keeps us moving on, whether it be the hopes of winning the lottery or finding true love. Maybe just the next holiday or the next soccer game.
I have written many sonnets and I know that they can be a pain, but this is effortless and so I have chosen to award 10 points for this. Well done.

Lady of Moss (Shakespearean Sonnet) by Maple Tree 7 points
This lady is the queen of formed poetry. She makes it seem so easy that sometimes it disguises how much care she puts into the work. The theme is that of obscured joy perhaps intimations of mortality and an awareness of the loss of youth's carefree abandon. The rhyme is well thought out, avoiding the comical yet also keeping the poem upbeat rather than falling into melancholy. The final doublet adds a scent of mystery: melodic embers coupled with a lady of moss sounds like something like the Arthurian mythos.

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Wordless by Hannah Lizette 10points
Just as the title, it's hard to come up with words as you pretty much are saying everything in the poem. Nice piece of brevity. Shows and tells at the same time. Well done. Haunting atmosphere by the way. Creative to say the least. Nice narrative as well. Continue writing. I enjoyed it. My favorite part was the last stanza.

Wordless by Hannah Lizette 4 points
love the whole boneyard in my mouth image. I like how the poem is laid out and how tight each line is with no filler words present. The whole subject is very interesting, unusual and a bit of a challenge to portray this to the reader in an entertaining way, yet I feel the writer has done this justice. So many images dance from this piece with each line as clever as the previous. I have read this through four times and each time I have found something else to marvel over.
Bouquets of withered syllables wins the award for me for the stand out line. This has a true 'poem' feel to it and was expertly crafted. Well done. 4 points.

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I'll too be alive (Shakespearean sonnet) by Everlasting 7 points
Narrowly misses the 10 points purely because I am not too keen on the title. However as a frequent sonnet writer I know that these can be difficult to master. You have a rhyming scheme that must not be forced. You have a syllable count that restricts each line. You also have the melody of the piece that must flow musically. This writer has in my opinion ticked these boxes. It has a nice gentle feeling to this, the poem feels like it should be whispered with just a hint of a warning. I love the start of stanza three and I also applaud the author for including a brief explanation of how these poems should be laid out. Well done 7 points.

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The Frame by RealMeaning 7 points
"Only a picture framed in my distance," those words resonate in my mind. I read the entire poem several times and I believe it can read smoother and better if you add some more punctuation as well as if you fix some of the verb tenses.
For instance:
"Now,
nothing remained from her but a memory"
^ I believe it would be "remains" instead of "remained" as remained is past tense and "now" indicates the present.
"the wound of space that since
have never mended."
^ I think that instead of using "have never mended," "has never mended," fits it. If you were speaking of "the wounds" (in plural) then "have" would be appropriate.
Overall, I love the sadness and the picture that this poem creates in my mind. I could imagine someone looking at a picture framed on the wall while at the same time, narrating the memory; the happiness that both shared together. I could see this someone crying. I could feel a soothing pain that this picture gave to the author. The sheer fact of remembering her, gives solace but also pain. The ocean, the clouds, the horses framed in a picture. Well done. My favorite part was the last stanza.

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Longing for Night by avery 4 points
Avery has impressed me this week!
This little gem reads like a song, the rhythm flows with beauty and the rhyme scheme is elegant. This poem could very well pass as a midnight lullaby for an adult. Its tone is somber and breathtaking!
I am drawn to the night, always have been and when a writer writes in the late of night, it can be so inspiring, uplifting and a way to release sorrow. Such a powerful little poem here!! (4)

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On The Contrary (...) by: Far Out Dame 4 points
I can't believe I haven't heard of "bister" before. Maybe I've read it and just not paid attention. You take what might be considered cliche, the colors of life, and make it quite artistic. I feel life within this poem, from the burnt crimson signifying the sunrise and beginning of day, to tying your hair back in a braid for a day of work. Throughout your verses, I had this image of a woman rich in life, with wrinkles and tan skin, who has truly lived through many trials. This was a provoking piece in that it wasn't a simple description, but an intricately woven one where I tied certain pieces together. Colors don't represent how we feel, it is our feelings that bring color and meaning to our life. Beautifully written. My only other thought is that I would have liked to hear more about this person, her/his history or even where they live. You gave almost prophetic imagery, but maybe more of this person's actions?

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The Well by Poet on the Piano 4 points
A thought provoking piece of prose. I had to read it several times to immerse in it's depth. Each time I read it, I gathered little pieces of information. For instance, I came to the conclusion that "the water" was symbolic of love. This well's purpose, as any well's purpose, is to replenish people with water so they may satiate their thirst or employ the water for their daily life. So in other words, this well is just about giving but not receiving. Pretty much, it's about the emotions the well has.
At some point, it may feel ignored or that people seek the well only when they need to be satiated. However, this well would like a companion, someone to give the "well" company and at the same time, fill it with water so all the water that "this well" is giving to others may not dry it out, out of it. It's quiet interesting to compare a well to a Samaritan. In life, there are so many Samaritans, charitable people who give without expecting anything in return, but what's the source that replenishes them with so much love to give to others?
I believe this piece has room for improvement and that it can be re-written/edited with a little bit more of vivid imagery so to pull the reader into the images while at the same time, the reader can reflect upon them, yet so that this piece still conserves it's narrative - in first person's point of view. Well done. I enjoyed it.

Congrats to all the winners and hm's this week. Awesome job judges and Larry

Congrats all, some great poems picked this week.

Congrats all, beautiful pieces this week!!!

Thanks so much judges for the HM! :)

Congratulations to Meme and Lucero :-) Beautiful Poems ladies and thank you judges for my win as well. It's nice to be up there with these two awesome Ladies!!

Thank you for the awesome comments judges, I truly appreciate them :-)

Congratulations to all of the Hm's as well... lovely poems this week!!

Congrats everybody, awesome work! And thank you judge for the thoughtful comment, I appreciate it.

Congrats Winners & HMs! Nice poetry this week!

Thanks Judges & Mods :)