Weekly Contest, 21 April 2014

Weekly Contest, 21 April 2014
Four judges responded this week. Congratulations to our winners which include Lucero (who, with 30 points, is becoming a poetic diva of this site - in the good sense), Beautiful Soul (who also garnered an HM) and Ray Blue. These poems have each a celestial link but are as different as night (Embryo) and day (Atmosphere) and haunted denials (Serene).

An Embryo in the universe by Everlasting 10*3 = 30 points
Atmosphere by Beautiful Soul 10 points
Serene by Ray Blue 4*2 = 8 points

Emperor of Wolves by Day Star 7 points
Mea Culpa by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather 7 points
Flower Poetry (Petals and Thorns) by Lemon 7 points
As Eagles we Soar by Poet on the Piano 7 points
Inevitable by Beautiful Soul 4 points
The Wait by Lemon 4 points

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An Embryo in the Universe by Everlasting - 10 points
This has got to be; Hands down, one of my all time favorite nature poems to date! What a gorgeous poem by Everlasting!
The first line sucked me in... Orphan child references to describe the feelings of the moon, along with blanket stars.. just an incredible and detailed way of writing here.. The metaphor to describe the phases of the moon is truly breathtaking.
To top it off, its written in such a small piece with a magical message, Visually detailed and beautiful wording... !!!

An Embryo in the Universe by Everlasting - 10 points
The personification of the crescent moon gives me shivers... it emotionally affects me, as I grow to care for her and want to comfort her. There's something so childlike and natural about the image of the moon reaching to grasp a blanket of stars... like we need illumination, other than our own. We need companionship. The author's ability to smoothly transition to that fully grown stage of life for the moon, is simple yet touching. Everything is tied in so well and reads with a certain gentleness. Well done.

An Embryo in the universe by Everlasting - 10 points
The title got me all a thinking, This is almost a one line poem on its own. Such a delicate and miraculous object juxtaposed against the vastness that is the know universe. That is before we even read the poem. I love line two, I thought line one wasn't very unusual on its own. I have probably read similar lines many times but linked to line two it works and is a winner. It shows real imagination and attention to detail. It also pitches the tone of this piece tremendously.
There is real powerful imagery throughout this piece, 'Fragile skeleton' and 'blanket of stars' the two stand outs for me. What Everlasting has down has crammed a huge story (with real emotion lifted from a snapshot in time) into a small and detailed piece. Worthy 10 pointer.

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Atmosphere by Beautiful Soul - 10 points
This poem doesn't use an excessive amount of vocabulary but makes up for it in other areas. It is truly creative, giving the reader a look into a typical house hold in early hours. It paints a mental picture. It contains no English errors according to my sightings. It provides the reader with a smile. This piece is relatable to most.

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Serene by Ray Blue - 4 points
I think I can understand wanting to break through the numbness, the oblivion where we may feel powerless or empty inside. I appreciate the specific references and images they inspired (mentioning the month of April, the Sahara winds, iced coke and rum). The rhyme does not read as forced and has a subtle effect. The ending holds the most significance to me as it signifies the character's reluctance to face the pain head first. This could apply to many of us as well who may internalize the pain.

Serene By Ray Blue - 4 points
This poem has a professional feel about it. Some fantastic word choice used throughout and I love the rhyming scheme. It is nice to read a good rhyming poem now and again and this is really good. My only gripe is the choice of 'winds' and 'minds'. Now is this 'winds' as in weather or 'winds' as in the turn or wind-up?
I will chalk that up to artistic licence and maybe a curve ball thrown in purposefully.
What I would add is that the imagery and intelligence of this piece is superb. So many lines that I wish I had thought of, Just take the last line and enjoy its emotion.
I also love the 'lost kite chasing', the 'spiralling to celestial minds' and 'Pitch black past visions'.
Easily worth at least 4 points. Well done.

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Emperor of Wolves by Day Star - 7 points
It seems the moon is a popular subject amongst the authors of PnQ this week. To be brutally honest I have no real idea why I have given this poem 7 points this week. It is small and confusing but at the same time it is captivating. The middle line of this piece is very powerful and very relate-able to everyone that reads it. Whether it be somebody we have lost or simply somebody we have read about who has died too soon. It conjures images of wondering how their life may have played out if they were not taken away. Line 4 is very blunt and very sombre. The final line is the confusing line, it links with the title and the suggestion of an empire points to a huge statement of loss, apart from that I am in the dark. But this poem has at least had me thinking.

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Mea Culpa by Larry Chamberlin the Godfather - 7 points
This poem by Larry, is very touching, deep and personal.
To look in the mirror can reflect an image but also memories. It brings out a very large variety of feelings.
To reflect on what happened and how it makes us see our own shortcomings and downfalls. It can also help us see how we can overcome the pain of the past- Just a very touching and heartfelt poem by Larry this week.
This is simplistic elegance.. it flows and grabs the readers attention from start to finish. Well done.

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Flower Poetry (Petals and Thorns) by Lemon - 7 points
I adore the maturity of this piece, as the author begins describing herself as a curious, creative poet. The idea of forming those words and creating new meaning invites creativity. The simile of picking words like flowers is lovely and easy to imagine. Something so innocent can turn against us possibly if we are at the root of the problem... if we hold ourselves back. Interesting read, enjoyed the depth of those two stanzas.

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As Eagles we Soar by Poet on the Piano - 7 points
This poem has a variety of vocabulary. This poem is inspirational. It shows that we are more than flesh and bones. It is creative in the sense that it has a personal perspective of humans as a whole. It presents its case, leaving the reader with hope. It has no English errors. It provides the reader with a sense of confidence

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Inevitable by Beautiful Soul - 4 points
Beautiful and simplistic wording here, mixed with elegant tones = Lovely in my opinion.
The deep feelings of loss, etched with almost a sense of compassion for the love lost... it truly brought tears to my eyes.
A touching and heartfelt poem by Beautiful Soul this week!!

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The Wait by Lemon - 4 points
I enjoyed this one. Think the vocabulary could have been improved but it has great creative value. It leaves interpretation to the reader. It paints a visual picture and has an emotional impact. It tells a story that could be easily converted into more poems

Congrats to all this week. Thank you judges for the hm and the win.

Brilliant job everyone, nice to see some of the poetry come out of the contests, it is amazing what comes out when you have a set thing to write about, well done.

Thanks judges xx

Congrats winners & HM's, wonderful work! And thank you judge for reading and critiquing my piece, appreciate it.

Thank you for the comment judges and fellow poets. They are greatly appreciated. Though to be honest, I was extremely surprised this piece had this effect.

And also Thank you Mr. Larry.

And thanks for the comment & HM!
Yes, it was a contest piece for Saffie

Congrats Winners & HMs :)

Thanks Judges & Mods ^^

Congrats!